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For me the hardest part of all was accepting what I am. For years I lived in denial and had a hatred towards myself for wanting to dress and loving it when I was. Afterwards I would feel like I had done something wrong and hated that I had done it. Don’t get me wrong things like make up and what to wear, how to wear it is all difficult but for me the hardest part by a long long way was accepting myself
Can’t say I have ever self loathed but accepting oneself in a Northern working class area was hard. Petrified of being discovered back then and forced out of town. I am comfortable with myself now but would still not show myself to my locals. In whatever way we live public, private who is hurt, nobody. Carpe diem I believe is the saying. Enjoy yourself.
xx
Hi Abi , I hope you’ve found that acceptance in yourself , it’s certainly a unsettling experience. X Tiffany
in the beginning for me it was all of the above and now its mostly trying to get get better consistently
with a more feminine voice
Physically the hardest part is undoubtedly make up , minimising male features especially broad shoulders ( long wig can do this ) hands & body movements.
I agree with the previously mentioned emotional issues being hard . It’s a thoughtfully posed question x
Really the hardest part was trying to be a closet crossdresser so paranoid about being discovered that I didn’t even have a ‘stash’. I’d literally only get to dress once, maybe twice, a year via dressing services (I lived in the UK then, so was well-served in that respect).
Obviously the initial process of coming out was hard as well.
But neither of those things are really what the poll is asking about
From then on none of it’s been truly difficult. The ‘hard’ things have been trivial aspects such as deciding whether certain styles work for me (balancing what I want to wear with what actually works) and how to wear certain items. That’s a constant learning experience, but I’m winning on two fronts – I have a wardrobe of things that I know suit me and that I’m comfortable wearing, but I’m also more confident about what I wear as well, which increases the possibilities (such as wearing a school dress to work the other day, albeit that it was heavily dressed up to look business-like and professional 🙂 ).
Actually, I’m still in the throes of learning to crossdress, although I love it dearly. There are very few things about my dressing I can say require no more work or experimentation. One is my hairstyle (wig). I’m quite satisfied with the fit and the way my wigs frame my face. The other is bra/breastform size and style. Here, I believe that I just about have the authentic look I want under clothes: not too voluptuous but just ample enough to appear unobtrusive.
Sadly, I had to check all the other boxes. Lots more work to be done in so many other areas.
I have just started trying make-up and need help.
thinking about going to see Rori.
I am still trying to figure out what hair color and style looks best with me, I bought 4 wigs and try them all. I have teh 3 favorites on my pictures, any thoughts from anybody??
I have a black wig, blonde, and a brunette wig. I got a long blonde black wig thta was on close=out because it was only $10.
I personally like the blond an d the black wigs the best. Puzzling as I had medium brown hair naturally.
Makeup varies so much from woman to woman. Otherwise why there be so many choices. We didn’t have the opportunity to practice since we were little girls so we are all playing catch up. Many of us can’t ask a gg for help so we depend on you tube etc.
I wish I had someone to help me with makeup but never did and keep trying to use it
only put lil on face to hide some wrinkles and then a cream on face to keep them away
When it comes to all the things that go into appearing female in public; belying your true identity, keep in mind, two specific things, dress age appropriately, and don’t try to look like a drag queen, whi is usually a gay male. Make has two rules, expertise in contouring, and less is more. As to hair, natural, grown longer is the best. If not possible, try something close to your own color in a wig. The style you should choose is one that frames your face best. Not some gaudy shade of blonde or red, or even pink. You will most likely be made, right away. Use a little common sense; if you’re not in Lady Gaga performance wear, don’t try to look like her. You’re gauranteed to fail. Next, if your voice is deep, take softening lessons. If you’re tall and muscular, like me(6’3″, 235lbs) wear long sleeves, like some thin material, like gauze or chiffon, in warm weather. If your body is square, use hip, butt, and thigh pads, or foundations that have in sewn, or removable pads. Wear, mostly neutral colors, at first; until you find out what works for you. Not everyone looks good in a long, straight, blonde wig with a tight, red dress like a wrap, or bodycon. If you’re on the heavy side, wear a patterned one. If you don’t care if you can pass, do whatever you want; but if you want to try to, then find out all these things first, before you go shopping with the girls, or to the nearest gay bar, to flaunt your other self. It also helps to prevent harassment if you can pass, by not drawing attention to you. Save that for the boys in the backroom.
how tro apply makeup and look the look I want to feel
I began wearing pantyhose with pumps and a shirt that looked like a short dress when I was 4. At 13 I began buying my own pantyhose. At 17 I began wearing pantyhose out with guy shorts and clothes. Soon after came short girl’s shorts and platform wedges. Then I found wearing some long shirts over short shorts made it look like I was wearing a short dress. I liked that.
When I went to dressing fully fem, the pantyhose and heels were natural. The short dress not much different from the long shirt. The bra and panties were fun. The pretty hair very nice. Makeup? A total disaster. I had to get help with that.
One of my biggest stumbling blocks is I’m colour blind, so matching clothes can be a chore. I’ve stood in stores and asked ladies around me, does this match. The one store I go to, Reitman’s, the girls are great, they all know me and they help me out big time. The girl at my favourite shoe store, Tanya, I’ve known her for 20 years and I used to call her my fashion consultant, I’d by things and take them to her and she’d help me match them up and find shoes to go with them, love her like a little sister.
Long past this now but-
#1 Makeup.
I knew I wanted to go out and makeup was foreign to me. I decided to visit a pro for a full transformation to see was was possible (an eye opener day) and then scheduled makeup lessons from her ASAP and bought everything needed in the makeup category. Worth Every Dollar!!! I would say this was the best and most important thing I ever did. The confidence boost was incredible.
#2 Clothes sizing and general Styles
After fumbling around I scheduled a personal stylist at Macy’s. Heather was incredible, what an angel she was. That might have been 2009 or 2010 and I still think about her. We talked about what I wanted, my sizes etc. When I arrived she had picked a few things, I tried these on, took better measurements and we talked about pieces fit etc. She really showed me a lot this day. We made a beeline trough the store going from rack to rack looking picking etc. She even pulled dresses to try just for fun even though I told her these weren’t in my plan for the day. Again she was incredible and taught me about styles and sizing. She also gave a list of designers/brands that I leaned towards and she thought I would like for future purchases. Cost for this=FREE
Sandy
I started quite young, watching my older sister dress and trying to emulate her after she and a friend first dressed me. I was quiet about it and sneakily paid attention (we shared a bedroom until she was 13). Once I finally figured out what sizes I wore in each article, then the quest was to find a way to get clothes that fit as not all of hers did. Makeup wasn’t even an issue until I was about 13 or so, then it was just lipstick and blush for a while. My first attempts with eye shadows and concealer/foundation, mascara really turned into something from a scary movie.
Different times in my life coincided with most of the list, and once I got the makeup and sizes figured out, along comes what style and look I was aiming for. It was just one thing after another, but I knew it would be that way from seeing my sis go through the same thing really. Then came my first crush, and that just blew everything out of the water, nothing looked good, nothing matched, I looked scary. But it all worked out in the end.
PaulaF
I wanted to select all the boxes!LOL. I met some incredible GGs that helped me with clothes, makeup, and wig. Without them I can honestly say I would be completely lost and without any feminine things. Makeup is still difficult and I’m going for another lesson. It’s super helpful to have someone there telling you how to apply all the product. But the most difficult thing was buying to find the right size breastforms. UGH… it took me 3 tries to get the correct size.
Make up, definitely . While most have a lifetime, or at least since their teen years, most of us started later in life. Some of us much later. While a GG might get a gentle rebuke for ill applied make up, we are tend to judge ourselves harshly if we botch it. Fortunately there are more make up services and chain stores who are happy to help us learn make up, and if we are happy with the result, will likely become a customer fot life.
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