- This topic has 62 replies, 24 voices, and was last updated 8 months ago by alva.
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- October 23, 2022 at 6:02 pm #685358
It appears the world thinks I’m female. At least some of the time….and when I least expect it. Usually I’m not wearing makeup and making no effort to present as female.
A few months ago I posted about an experience at the local grocery where a produce clerk gendered me female. That’s been happening more often lately.
I look at photos from a year or two ago….pre-HRT….and see a different person. More important….the person I am today is different. Authentic. More confident. More optimistic. Loving life.
Then there’s the surprise I didn’t expect. Smaller feet! Sure, I knew HRT would give me boobs, a bigger booty, more feminine facial features. That’s happening. Nobody told me about feet. I’m down a full size….12 or 13 women’s. That’s still huge. But I have a ton more options.
If you’re on the fence, I’m here to tell you estrogen is magic.
/EA
- October 23, 2022 at 6:15 pm #685360Anonymous
Emily,
Thanks for your post. I so want to try estrogen and make my body a little more feminine. Can you still look like a man when you need to? I still have to pretend to be a man once in a while.
I admire your courage.
Hugs,
Kerri
- October 23, 2022 at 6:41 pm #685365
I can still appear masc but it’s getting harder. My boobs are becoming more obvious. My face is becoming more feminine. Basically no visible body hair. I think some of the women at my work suspect. A few close friends say they can see a difference. The next 6-12 months will be interesting.
/EA
- January 31, 2023 at 7:51 am #714182
Thank You for this interesting post Emily. I started estrogen myself beginning September 2022 and my boob are growing and sore but alas they are very asymmetric, the left being significantly bigger than the right. Are your boobs growing symmetrically?
- January 31, 2023 at 8:33 am #714197
They’re pretty close in size but I can tell one is a little bigger. Cis women usually have breasts that are slightly different in size. It’s normal. Give it time Clarissa. Chances are they will even out.
- October 23, 2022 at 7:22 pm #685371
So happy for you girlfriend !
carole
- October 25, 2022 at 11:59 pm #685815
Thanks Carole! See you soon!
- October 23, 2022 at 9:50 pm #685381
Wow: I so admire you, and in the nicest way I envy you! I so wish I was undergoing those changes. Thank you so much for sharing!
Love Gabby
- October 23, 2022 at 10:37 pm #685382
Thanks Gabby! I took a thousand detours to get where I’m at. HRT saved my sanity. I think when you’re trans that’s just how it is. You always end up in the same place. I’m just trying to pay it forward.
- October 24, 2022 at 1:34 am #685393
A lot of it is about confidence and making that decision this is who I want to be. Even without estrogen you moved forward in looking the best you can and over the years all started to come together. Estrogen is the next step for you in that process and is working well for you.
Are you out at work yet as your profile indicates some suspicion from colleagues who you may feel could take the news? These are exciting times for you Emily and it is so nice reading about your advancements.
I am so far down the road myself that I do everything dressed and everyone knows, so for me, I decided to go on estrogen just over six months ago. I haven’t seen any changes as yet and have realistic expectations but your changes gives me hope.
Smaller feet? I have heard that and the result would be more shoe shopping – win win.
My best wishes to you and your upward journey.
- October 25, 2022 at 5:08 pm #685767
Thank you so much Angela! It’s been a long road to get where I’m at. Most of that time stuck in denial and then some catalyst would lurch me forward. School of hard knocks if you will. The confidence I have is rooted in a desperation to not F-up this opportunity….an opportunity to be happy.
I’m not out at work yet. I think some of the office gals suspect I’m trans. Work is my biggest challenge. I’ve posted about it several times. Most of my staff is pretty intolerant and probably won’t accept a trans boss. If push comes to shove they’ll just leave. Unfortunately they have skills that are hard to replace. So that’s a conundrum I haven’t come to terms with. That said, I’m pretty close to retirement and starting to not care. We’ll see what happens.
6 months on E is a good start. I’m a little surprised you haven’t seen any changes. Maybe your dose is too low? DM me if you want to get into the weeds on HRT. I’d be glad to help. Regardless, I’m really happy for you!
Here’s to more shoe shopping!
/EA
- October 26, 2022 at 2:45 am #685827
Thanks Emily. Well if the girls suspect then maybe dip the toe in the water and sound them out and, if it looks good , confide. I did this before retirement and it worked out well as I created some lasting friendships. I admit I didn’t come out fully and work as Angela, I could have done, but due to the friends I made I was offered a job opportunity as Angela on retirement which I jumped at.
Maybe have a go as you never know..
- October 24, 2022 at 1:37 am #685395
I want some !
- October 25, 2022 at 8:24 am #685697
So happy for you, Emily. Smaller feet would be wonderful, but I read that estrogen affects each person differently, specially for someone my age (68). Having real boobs and wider hips would also be great.
. Cassie- October 25, 2022 at 5:16 pm #685772
If it’s what you want Cassie I’d encourage you to give it a try. I’m a few years younger than you. I had to make a few adjustments to my program but there was nothing stopping me from moving forward. Having a really good doc is key.
- October 26, 2022 at 2:14 am #685823
Have you any suggestions on how to search out a qualified Endo Doc. How would I find out if they have trans experience?
- October 26, 2022 at 1:01 pm #685977
Plume and Folx are 2 telemedicine services for trans people that operate in most states. Also the WPATH website has an extensive directory of trans care professionals. In your area look up Tiffany Najberg. She’s a transwoman and a doctor that treats trans patients. Good luck!
- October 25, 2022 at 9:00 am #685703
Emily,
While the path you’re on isn’t for me, I’m happy for you that you’re taking these steps to be the real you. We all deserve our happiness, and I’m glad you’ve found some and that it’s helping you so much.
Best of luck and hugs,
Jill
- October 26, 2022 at 12:06 am #685817
Thank you Jill!
- October 25, 2022 at 9:32 am #685706
Wow Emily! I am so thrilled for you, so wonderful and exciting! You go girl!!
I’m kind of in the same situation as Angela, I’ve transitioned and now live as a legal female. Due to the fact I am a cardiac patient HRT is a questionable health risk, the estrogen commonly used can cause blood clots which could be fatal to me. There is a type of estrogen that is a transdermal patch that may be safe, my cardiologist is looking into it.
But, I have to say that knowing who you are as a female, and exuding that confidence works magic all on its own when it comes to passing as a woman. I was very nervous and often misgendered when I first transitioned, but I haven’t had that happen recently, and I believe it all has to do with a confident presentation of yourself as a woman.Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
- October 26, 2022 at 12:25 am #685820
Your doc probably figured this out already but mention it anyway the next time you see them.
Oral estrogens undergo a first pass through the liver before entering the bloodstream. This leads to a rise in inflammatory and procoagulant factors with a resultant increased risk of DVT. However, transdermal patches and estrogen injections (IM or sub-q) enter the bloodstream without passing thru the liver first. This is good news for anyone that’s at increased risk for clots. I’m using injections because I have a blood disorder that increases my risk of clots. There’s no way I would do pills. Don’t give up hope.
If you get the green light, find a good endo with experience treating trans patients. There are way too many docs out there that don’t know what they’re doing when it comes to trans medicine.
/EA
- January 26, 2023 at 9:53 am #712497
Amen to that Emily r3garding Endo,s.
- October 25, 2022 at 10:18 am #685726Anonymous
A smaller shoe size is an HRT benefit I never would have expected!
- October 26, 2022 at 12:08 am #685818
I did some reading and apparently it happens often enough.
- January 25, 2023 at 8:03 pm #712363
I’m really surprised by that as well. As we age, we naturally shrink. I have gone from a size 10 to a size 9.5in footwear without any meds. I have also gone from 5’10 inches to about 5’9 inches in height. Being a type two diabetic which I am, can also have some effect. Interesting.
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jill Lacey.
- January 26, 2023 at 9:45 am #712494
If I remember correctly, one explanation is estrogen causes the soft tissues in our joints to shrink. Whether it’s that or magic I don’t care. I’m happy to have smaller feet!
- February 2, 2023 at 12:02 pm #714874
That explains why some of my shoes suddenly fits better and are more comfortable to wear. I never expected that, thank You for enlightening me and others.
- October 26, 2022 at 4:19 am #685833Anonymous
Emily,
I’m so happy for you. HRT is not in my future, as I’m happy being a male who sometimes gets to express his feminine side. I feel as if I’m only “a little” transgender, if that makes sense. But I can empathize with you and others who tip the scales on the spectrum towards the girly side. It’s wonderful to hear that you’re doing well. I wish you the very best in your future and wish everyone could be their true selves.
Much love,
Raquel- October 26, 2022 at 1:08 pm #685984
Thank you Raquel. I completely understand what you mean about being just a little transgender. It’s a spectrum and we’re all non-binary to one extent or another.
- October 28, 2022 at 4:24 am #686636Anonymous
I know. Right? And I believe there’s room for all of on this earth. Not in separate spaces, I mean, but side-by-side. If only more people felt that way. Sigh!
But I’m glad you can be you, Emily. 😘
Much love,
Raquel
- October 26, 2022 at 1:19 pm #685985
Emily,
I admire your courage and determination on the journey to being the real you. It’s not an easy decision to make but from reading your comments it’s obvious that in your heart you know you made the right choice. All the best.
Hugs,
Fiona- October 26, 2022 at 1:26 pm #685988
Thanks Fiona!
- October 26, 2022 at 1:32 pm #685991Anonymous
Emily,
Im curious to know, do you have a family and how did they react to you transitioning? I don’t want to be nosy but my family is what is holding me back from following your path.
Kerri
- October 26, 2022 at 1:38 pm #685992
My family is holding me back as well from fully transitioning.
- October 27, 2022 at 9:12 am #686425
I’m out to my sister and her family, some of my extended family, most friends, and every person I do business with such as doctors, hair stylist, nail tech, etc. Everyone I’ve come out to has been fully supportive. Notably absent is my 94 yo father. He’s in poor health and would not take it well.
- October 28, 2022 at 7:27 am #686665
Hi Emily, it’s funny how things work with family issues. My parents have both passed away, my mother was accepting and I know my father would have disinherited me. Now it’s my youngest brother and my daughter who won’t accept me. Oh well, we know who we are and what we must do as we listen to the cries from our feminine hearts. Take care Emily.
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
- January 25, 2023 at 5:59 pm #712327
I’m excited to get started on estrogen but don’t know what it will do at my Age. I’m 61 and if it wasn’t for my current job I would be fully out. I used to work out as a man and without doing anything I currently have 43B. I didn’t know about the feet. I would love smaller feet as I am currently womans 11.
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by Lorene Sullivan.
- January 26, 2023 at 9:35 am #712492
Hey Lorene I was 62 when I started.
There’s no way to know with certainty how much visible change you’ll get. But change will happen and people will notice. It often takes several years to reach full development. Much like puberty.
After 16 months I can see clear changes to my face. My boobs are becoming obvious even in loose fitting clothes. I’m getting curves in my waist, hips, and bum too. I get gendered female often.
The mental and emotional changes became noticeable within a few days. Profound highs and lows. But also a more even keel disposition. Feeling my emotions is incredible. My confidence amped to an 11. Difficult situations became a lot easier. The dimly lit room I’ve been stumbling around for decades is now lit with floodlights.
Most important I feel like I got a new lease on life. I’m being me. Dysphoria is almost nonexistent. I’ve never been happier.
Do these rose colored glasses fit you? You’re the only one who can answer that. A good therapist can help you sort things out. I did a lot of work and eventually it became obvious. It was this or be miserable. But I’ll caution you that you want to get this right. Your life WILL change. Do it for the right reasons. If you do, it’s NEVER too late.
Hope this helps.
/EA
- January 26, 2023 at 11:22 am #712514
Thank you so much for that Emily. I have had counseling through the VA and they have now labeled me with gender dysphoria. I go to LBGTQ online groups and it helps quite a bit. I could only hope that 1 day I could be as beautiful as you are. I see you as beautiful on the outside and from what I read in your posts very beautiful on the inside as well. Thank you so much for being there and being a voice.
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by Lorene Sullivan.
- January 26, 2023 at 9:51 pm #712642
Hey Lorene thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words.
TBH, I’m a lazy transgirl. I dress very casually and don’t wear much makeup. Most of my photos are the rare occasions when I make an effort to clean up.
The stuff I post is usually with a pay it forward attitude. It keeps me grounded.
So it sounds like you’re off to a good start within the VA system. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.
/EA
- January 26, 2023 at 9:43 pm #712641
I agree girlfriend. That does sound like magic and wonderful sweetie.
- June 17, 2023 at 7:33 am #745177
Thank you for sharing your story. It seems as if you made the right choice. I have a sister friend starting the journey. Hope she has a similar experience as you . Although I walk a different path, I not only support you but share in your happiness.
- June 17, 2023 at 8:42 am #745194
I’m woman’s 9.5 no problem finding nice shoes!
- January 26, 2023 at 12:17 pm #712529
Hi Emily can i just ask you where you got the estrogen from did you have to get it from a doctor or can you buy it over the counter at the pharmacy, I’ve often wondered about taking estrogen myself, I’ve heard it takes off all the rough edges and makes you look more feminine, does it do anything for big hand’s I’ve got fingers like sausages, lol X
Hugs Rozalyn X
- January 31, 2023 at 8:26 am #714191
Hi Rozalyn,
I get estrogen from a compounding pharmacy that my endocrinologist uses. In the US, Canada, and most Western countries, a prescription is required.
Estrogen will feminized your appearance to an extent. But there’s only so much it can do. It can’t transform a weathered lumberjack into Anne Hathaway. If you have big hands or feet, they might get a little smaller. You’ll also lose some muscle mass and strength. This helps contribute to a more feminine appearance.
/EA
- January 31, 2023 at 11:13 am #714225
Thanks very much for the information Emily,
I’m not quite a lumberjack more of a lumberjane, lol,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀
- January 31, 2023 at 12:40 pm #714247
Hi Emily. Love your name! But especially love how you have been very interactive with everyone who’s responded to this post. I read your profile again. Looked at your pix again. You’ve always been pretty, but the newest show the results of your change. Your smile is wonderful.
if I might ask a personal question. None of your business might be a correct answer. But does your medical insurance cover the costs of the HRT and or counseling? I’m about to start Medicare and won’t have that coverage. If I stay on the wife’s plan, she won’t be my wife if I take it that far.
Gwyn
- January 31, 2023 at 4:57 pm #714314
Thanks so much Gwyn! I agree the changes are becoming more apparent. And I have more reasons to smile!
Regarding insurance, California law requires insurance carriers to cover HRT and some other transition treatments. Some other states do as well (obviously blue states). I believe Medicare covers it too….at least in the states that mandate it.
Personally I’m doing this 100% out of pocket. Neither my endocrinologist or my therapist take insurance. I could get partially reimbursed for using an out of network provider. I just don’t bother with the huge hassle. I’m fortunate to have a good income and can afford the cost. Between doctor and therapist visits, hormones, labs, and supplies, it’s about $1600/year.
Hope this helps.
/EA
- February 1, 2023 at 3:27 am #714430
Thx Emm. It does!!
- January 31, 2023 at 2:23 pm #714278
Hi Emily,
What’s a little estrogen?
How about – Wonderful!
I’ve been on the patch (.05mg) for five months now and I’m so happy! I do not regret it one bit. Waiting for my levels to come back and so nervous and excited to get them. Still have a long way to go but wouldn’t go back now for anything.
First therapy session is Thursday. Nervous and excited for that too!One thing i noticed is i smile a lot more now than i ever did before and hearing people call me by my name out loud in public is oddly satisfying. I can’t explain why but it is.
So what’s a little estrogen?
Heaven!Thanks for asking.
-joanne- February 1, 2023 at 10:41 pm #714705
I have to agree Joanne. Knew within days it was the right decision.
/EA
- June 17, 2023 at 3:58 am #745138
Has anyone used pueraria mirifica prior to going on HRT? Do these herbals actually work?
- June 17, 2023 at 7:16 am #745172
I did and it didn’t. Waste of money.
/EA
- June 17, 2023 at 10:16 am #745210
Hi Emily,
I’m patiently waiting for an appointment with an Endocrinologist to arrange hormone treatments and go over what they found looking through my medical records. It turns out after all these years of feeling the way I always have, that I actually am a woman! I am an intersex person, my chromosomes point that out and the physical attributes that happened at puberty are also evidence of being that way forever. We’ll have to see what version of HRT can work with my heart meds.
Hugs girlfriend,
Lauren
- June 17, 2023 at 11:30 pm #745324
Hi Lauren,
I think this will work out for you. I suspect the biggest concern is blood clots. Your doc will almost surely tailor your program to mitigate that risk. Avoiding first-pass metabolism thru the liver is the best way to accomplish that. So pills should be a hard stop. More likely you’ll be put on low dose patches or injections. If your doc does want to put you on pills I would find a new one immediately.
Good luck GF!
Emily
- June 27, 2023 at 10:47 am #747535
How do I buy estrogen? I only want to have boobs for when I go outside, I can’t 100% I need my job I would like to have a little bit of boobs and be able to hide them with my shirts, now I can’t afford a doctor because it’s very expensive and I don’t I have insurance. I live in Chicago. But my greatest desire and happiness would be to have a more feminine body with hips, buttocks, and a little bit of boobs. Please give me some advice on how do I do it
- June 27, 2023 at 2:09 pm #747572
Alva,
Taking estrogen is not a trivial matter. It will do a lot more than give you curves. There are significant health implications and some potentially serious side effects. And the changes are permanent. You really need to be under the care of a doctor. You can’t buy estrogen in the US without a prescription.
I think you should consider breast forms and hip pads first for your outings.
Addendum – and as Madeline said, if you really want to get serious about HRT, go to Planned Parenthood or other qualified provider for gender affirming care.
/EA
- This reply was modified 8 months ago by Emily Alt.
- June 27, 2023 at 2:18 pm #747576
Ok, thanks, I’m going to consider it, or for now, while I save money for the doctor, is there any natural pill that can help me?
- June 27, 2023 at 2:27 pm #747578
The supplements I’m aware of are a waste of money. Don’t believe the marketing BS you see.
Listen, if you really want to look into HRT, call Planned Parenthood now. I’m pretty sure they have programs where you can pay on a sliding scale. HRT doesn’t have to be expensive.
/EA
- June 27, 2023 at 2:13 pm #747573
Go to Planned Parenthood. They cover Gender Affirmation Therapy. And they help you figure out how to get help paying.
- June 27, 2023 at 2:58 pm #747587
[postquote quote=747578]
Thank you I’ll do it
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