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Is there anything you wish that your SO would do or help you with as a CD?
I encouraged my fiancé to shave a few weeks go and he was thrilled. She got all dressed up and her legs looked amazing !!! (Totally jealous) but it seemed like it was something that Sophie had wanted to try for awhile but was afraid of my reaction I guess. I guess I feel like Sophie’s maybe holding back a little unless I “give permission” I’ve told her this is new to me and to just talk about things because I’m not going to know what she wants. But I understand that it can be a daunting.
so is there anything that maybe she would love to try or do but might be too shy to talk about?
We have discussed a public outing already and that will happen in the near future ..Just being supportive and willing to talk would be amazing. Most crossdressers have years of shame and secretive behavior behind them, and it takes time to overcome the psychological scars. Keep the discussion open without forcing it to be an issue (either positive or negative).
Yes I like to wear girly clothes some of the time, but that’s just a small part of who I am. Underneath the clothes I am still the messed up guy that my SO first met.
The thing I wish my wife would do is to buy something for Jennifer. It doesn’t matter as much what it would be but just as a sign of support and real acceptance. Of course, if it was something incredible (lingerie, makeup, wig) that would be the icing on the cake. But even if it was just a pair of plain old leggings (who am I kidding? I LOVE leggings) given with the words “I saw this and thought Jen would love it” I’d be over the moon.
We are both in our 60s and my wife tolerates Lucy and will sometimes even see something while shopping and say this would look good on Lucy. What I would really love though would be if she could actually engage with me as another woman. I crave girl talk, shopping excursions, chick flicks, craft fairs etc.
Thank you, that’s interesting, I sometimes don’t know what to say or do when Sophie’s around. It’s still early days for us .. maybe I could arrange a little girls night in with movies and face masks.
I wish that my wife would be fully comfortable with me dressing how I wish on a daily basis. I am a man who prefers womenswear to menswear. I do not want to present as a woman, I want to be me. My wife is concerned about our reputation in the community which I understand. Though I believe that part of it is about her wanting be seen out with her husband.
MacKenzie Alexandra
I would think even just scheduling a time for Sophie to be Sophie, and for the two of you to spend time together, and to get comfortable with each other in that context.
Personally I think having my significant other help apply makeup would be a big one. I think my makeup could use a lot of improvement, and have considered making an appointment for a professional makeover, but as I usually am transportation limited, I have not yet taken that step.
Just trying to help,
Lili
Really can’t think of anything. My wife helps me with my makeup, we’ve gone shopping together (actually going again today), and she loves to see how happy it makes me feel to be dressed. Don’t know what I did to have such a wonderful and supportive wife, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything.
Hugs, RubyAt this point, I wish she would just ask about it more and in a more positive way. At this point there are no discomforting details of anything I do that I should hide, but I wish she were more willing to hear how I feel about it on a regular basis. She really needs to understand this part of me better and as much as I am willing to sacrifice it for practical reasons and keep it out of her sight in the future, I need her to at least try to gain some acceptance. Times when I’m happy as a guy I need it most as I can be most clear-headed.
First of all, I’d like to say that I think it’s amazing that you are looking to see how you can be more supportive.
I’ve been dabbling in crossdressing for years…but never fully. It’s been a wig here, maybe a bra there. My wife has been hesitantly supportive, tolerating it for years. It also helps that she knew that I was a bit into this before we got married. Last year she suggested when we were going away that I should fully dress up. I was elated. We just stayed in the hotel room that evening, but she did my makeup and everything. However the biggest thing for me was when I called her on my way home from work a few days ago and she said she was going to stop off at the thrift store and see if there was some cute thing she could get for me. I nearly melted. That was something I had always wanted. That was, in my opinion, not only a big step for her but a big relief for me that she is coming to accept my recent ramp up in crossdressing.
I do feel like we are a bit closer, because of it.
Want to make your fiance’ feel over the moon? Bring her something home to surprise her with. I’m sure it doesn’t even have to be anything big…but its the thought 🙂
I do feel like I do need permission, as you put it as well. So that encouragement means the world to me and others I’m sure.
-Nat
“Understand”……. why I am a CD. Not even “accept” there’s a solar system of difference between the two words.
She knows, “but does not want to know” and altho I’ve asked her “is there anything I could have said or done” that has led to a big “zero in the cot”….and she said no. But I still have a suspicion the above is the case.
Juast gotta pick the right time and place to do it. maybe in early 2020 cos that’s when I plan to do an all over shave.. That will get a conversation and a half started….
Happy dressing
especially all you lucky blighters who have your SO’s support.
Caty
Thanks everyone for the advice! My birthday is coming up in a few weeks and we decided we would go away for the night somewhere (kid free!!) so I suggested maybe we go shopping and find a CD bar or club to go to while we are away. Fiancé said it should be about me but I’ve spent enough birthdays with him and I think I’d enjoy a girls night out! So we made no plans yet but he’s thinking about it !
I never reply to threads but I wanted to here. It’s great to see a supporting so and I would love to help. My wife and I do loads of stuff together. Our biggest thing is foot baths and toe polish. I do hers, she does mine. We also do face masks together which I really enjoy. Back when our schedules were more in sync we would have lbd night where we would wear our prettiest black dress’s, drink wine, and watch movies. She just recently asked me to try and braid her hair so I’m thinking of trying to schedule a hair and makeup night with her.
As far as your birthday, he is right and it should be about you. If a gno is truly what you want then push him into it. Tell him it’s girls only and he has to if he wants to go with you. On the other hand, if you want a night with him, don’t compromise. It’s your day. Ask for what You want.
Hi all. I am new to the site and have been dressing since I was a child. I have been married for 14 years and my wife just found out 6 months ago due to a receipt for clothing that was left in my jeans. So I had to come clean. She took it better than I thought but does not want me doing it with her or alone.
She seems to be under the impression that it’s easy to not think about dressing or to just be happy thinking about it and not acting on impulses. I have done my best to try to get her to understand that these impulses are never going away and are not something I can just dismiss.
I am lucky to have a wife who didn’t freak and leave me but am struggling to help her understand this part of me.Hi! I’m sorry things aren’t going so well. She obviously doesn’t understand that this is something that you can just not do. I hope that you guys can take more about it maybe make some compromises and give it a try. Maybe if she joined here she could get some understanding. There is a private spouse group that’s so helpful.
just wish my wife would divorce me, as she has no place for my crossdressing
Right now we are discussing my getting a storage unit so I have a place to store my female clothes the wardrobe is growing. Hiding it from the kids us getting harder. I don’t need permission more as her blessing. For now she seems hesitant to do this. Anyways that would be nice to have a safe place I could get dressed for outings.
💋❤️
Dana
As a lot of the girls have said, I’d just love for her to accept me and be comfortable. I’m still the same bonehead she fell in love with a long time ago. This has been a sore point in our marriage for years leading to many nasty arguments and 3 separations I’m 56 soon and I don’t want to argue anymore. She has tried to open up a bit the last year or so and it’s been nice, we talk not yell, big improvement. She also came with me to my yearly Xmas night out with friends and we had a great time. Ah well, I guess I’ll take what I can get.
There are many things that my SO could do that would make me so happy, however I do not expect any of these things of her.
I’d love her to;
help me with makeup
Ask to see me dressed
Offer suggestions on dressing
Shop for femme clothing with me
Ask me on a date as DeLora
Tell me that she loves me no matter how I present.Hi all. I just read every reply. Many of them mirror my thoughts. Because I understand the pain, disappointment, loneliness, heartbreak, the wishing created in a very real way by our SO’s misunderstanding, fear, discomfort, disappointment or whatever their reason be, I really sense the angst in the answer which is so common to all of us who can’t have all that we want.
Truly I hurt for all of us who have this affliction to endure. Thank you dear GG for doing your best to understand, support, and love your CDing SO. You are so encouraging to us all. You give hope that just maybe our SO will “come around”. After all “so and so” did. Yours is an excellent example of love that endures all.
Thank you CDers who love and do your best to respect and honor your unsupportive SO. Without doubt that is not fairy tale “live happily ever after” love. Yet it is genuine love, and because you truly love your SO you choose not to seek all that you would like and you do your best to endure their lack of support. (Genuine love seeks not it’s own and endures all.)
However to be fair so many (not all to be sure, but many) of our SO also equally have much the same angst we have, caused in a large degree by a part of us that is simply the humanness that is ours to bear.
What would be ever so revealing is for our SO to honestly answer the same question from their perspective.
“What’s something you wish your SO would do?”
I do suspect the answers would give us much to think about.
Kindly,
Charrie
Very early days for me and my s/o as I only told her this week! I know she’ll need time to process, so I don’t want to press her atm. At least she didn’t totally freak out.
She said ‘I don’t really know anything about all that stuff’ and ‘maybe I should read up on it’ so I’m bookmarking some articles to send her. A lot of the stories on here have also been very helpful. Xx
My wife has been very accepting of me and I wear every day! Our romantic part we do well as lesbians but I don’t want to just hop in bed in nighties and panties!
I want to be seduced and start out before bed time..undress me as I do her! It’s not the intimate apparel I wear that defines me totally as a women! It’s the feeling!
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