• This topic has 14 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #127881

      Sorry if this topic was already brought up, it’s a lot to ready to catch up.
      Hi all, I am asking this because I see a lot of posts about dresses, makeup and everything to show the world or just yourself at home in a physical way the woman you are, and this is great, fun, interesting and very helpful. I feel it is so much more and a lot is being part of your daily life, the woman inside me is a better listener and don’t react to things like a typical man does. My marriage is better because I can see the wife’s side if I did something stupid for no good reason as an example, I am more helpful to somebody in need, I do the typical things a woman would do around the house and to some degree at work. Underdressing is a great reminder for me every day who I am in the inside and who I like to show to the world if not dressed up as a woman then at least with my actions. Even if I am not wearing anything feminine it’s still there. So, do you carry parts or actions into your daily live what comes from the woman inside you?

    • #127893
      Anonymous

      I’m new so I’m in the process of doing that or getting in touch with my Lisa, I often ask myself how would “Lisa” handle this and I can calm down… or feel calmer…more to come ha ha

       

    • #127904

      Do you know, since I have been crossdressing again I do think I act a little different at times in my daily life, I have found I slip into a more female mind set and tend to be more relaxed, more willing to laugh and have fun etc or just sit around and chat with the wife or give the kids time.

    • #127906
      Anonymous

      Hi Alexandra!

      It is a very interesting post/question which can provide lots of food for thought.

      For many cd/tg folks, they, to a point, try to separate their “feminine side” from their “masculine side”. They will be men’s men on their everyday life, and turn into a delicate feminine creature at the touch of silk. (Not judging, it is what it is for many). This dissociation allows them to function in particular when they live in areas or cultures where any sign of weakness or softness is considered undesirable and can destroy their life

      I think that it is healthier when people can move beyond that separation of the masculine (strong, assertive, decisive) and feminine (loving, caring, nurturing) stereotypes and incorporate all of them in their real unique personality and also realize that many of those characteristics are only feminine or masculine as constructed by society. So, liking pink instead of blue is not really that important… and being emotional doesn’t make anybody less of a man same as women can be assertive and strong without turning into a (insert whatever word is used to judge succesful women)

      if you are able to be you all the time, whatever you do, and can be loving and caring and strong an protective and love purple or red or blue, whatever clothes you wear are going to become just that, clothes. Not men’s or women’s clothes, just your clothes…

      Love,

      Gaby

       

      • #128052

        Hi Gabriela,
        I totally agree with your point, culture and location is a large part and require drawing a hard line between feminine and masculine appearance, physically and mentally in places where you can lose everything sometimes even your life. The color association with gender is so embedded in western culture, it will take many more years to break it.
        Society is a very black/white, plus/minus, girl/boy, pink/blue and so on, everything is one or the other, rarely something is in between and when you are in between, be it physically or mentally, then the world is falling apart because society can’t deal with it. Instead to accept the fact of a middle ground, society outcasts you into the fringe world, the place we don’t talk about and if someone ask, will tell them it doesn’t exist.

        Alexandra

    • #127942
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness

      Hello ladies,

      For me there are quite a few things that reflect the “inner me”.

      1/. I love to underdress as much as I can, for the “female fabrics” are so much softer and nicer to wear, than the rough cotton ones I have to wear most of the time.

      2/. I have always felt and have “proof of it” that I relate to females much much better than a lot of other men. The proof is in the extremely close “brother /sister” friendships I have enjoyed and very much appreciated over the years. EG I told two of them about Caty and they were both extremely supportive.

      3a/. Wearing a bra and (attached) breast forms makes me feel so “girly” and within my soul I know its “right”. My posture is much better and I walk a lot slower. Sleeping braless with forms attached, (when I can), feels exceptionally “girly” cos my upper arms are always brushing past “my breasts”. Their unsupported weight is also just wonderful.

      3b/. Wearing a 40A bra and knowing that “my little breasts” are comfortably encased in them and seeing their slight projection under my male clothes. (Old age and declining testosterone  have something to do with this!!)

      4/. When underdressed, I automatically sit to use the toilet. Goodness me, I’m even leaving the seat down and closing the door!!!!…..Also occurs most of the time when I’m not underdressed

      5/. My lingerie draw and clothes racks for Caty are immaculate, “male me” just throws things into where I think they will fit!!! (LOL)

      That should be enough for one attempt!!

      Happy dressing (and being girly)

       

      Caty

       

       

    • #128074

      Hi Alexandra

      Apart from thinking I look much better en femme, and the sheer fun of trying new looks, I feel the most important change is inside my head.

      Psychologically I think my male attitude has softened a lot as I have let Bianca become a bigger part of my life. Gone is the effort and stress I had to put into suppressing feminine traits for fear of being seen as less ‘manly’. Making joking comments about feminine stuff, scared to like chic flicks, wine instead of beer, Disney instead of horror/war films ! Saying how hot the cheerleaders were when I was also thinking how cute their outfits were. I am now happy to get involved in conversations with female co workers about fashion, make up ( told a female co worker the best way to remove false eyelashes, her jaw nearly hit the floor LOL )etc whereas I used to just keep quiet, scared to look a bit gay/weird. Now I don’t really care, and am much much happier.

      love

      Bianca

    • #128120

      I’ve always just felt more comfortable in female company, and I always had a sneaking envy of the way girls were “allowed”  to show more emotions and just be generally “touchy-feely”. And there is so much toxic masculinity around today. I know that it is (or should he) okay for men to show their feelings to, and I know women can he toxic to each other at times… but, I dont know, femininity just appeals to me more.

    • #128389
      Michelle Liefde
      Ambassador

      Great question,  I currently work with college aged women and I have to admit that sometimes I feel more like Mrs. Garrett than their boss even in male mode. I am part confidant, adviser, and trusted friend at times.  A long time ago, I embraced the fact that I have a feminine side, I just didn’t outwardly express it by way of makeup, dresses, skirts, wigs, etc.  It just has helped me feel more comfortable with who I am, though still very closeted.  hugs, Michelle

    • #128465

      I know this sounds odd but my “inner girl” wants to take care of my outside appearance. This might sound silly but my nails:) I love taking care of them. It is a great reminder through my drab day that my girly ness is shinning through. They are not extremely long but long enough to have people glance at them(so I must keep them neat😉)

      The other is just how I see the world. I am very nurturing and motherly by nature and that is reflected in my everyday interactions.

    • #128500

      hello Alexandra. great post. I think for me personally its made me a more patient person, I tend to think femme anyway but have never dressed outdoors so its purely an answer regarding personality rather than dressing up. I also can multitask! yes! I kid you not! guys are always put down for this but acting and being more femme inside than male has given me the gift of being able to do many tasks at once lol, every cloud has a silver lining eh? 🙂 and it sure makes the boss happy too 🙂 .

      fiona xx

    • #132205
      karley delaware
      Baroness - Annual

      Hi. One thing I do when dressed in femme is to be girly with my two dogs. I kiss and hug them like a girl. When grooming, I sing silly songs and baby talk to them.  I tell them secrets and sometimes cry while hugging them. Then seem to like Karley, and come to me for attention.

    • #134648

      Reviving an older post to respond

      Wife says to me whether i am dressed or not Lacey is still always there. Clothing is how you want the world to see you.

      i am far more attentive to her than i have ever been, love to massage and just chat

      Shopping is fun these days, even if we were not buying for Lacey 🙁

      i am less quick tempered

       

    • #134752
      Anonymous

      Nice message there. Funny I’m reading this now because I just had a conversation with my wife kind-of as Lilly. My wife was talking about a difficult and late day work and I found myself much more attentive to not only what she was saying, but that what she really wanted was to was vent to a friend and connect with her boy when she was frustrated and feeling a little alone. Just to say good night, it helped put an identifiable male ego aside. It also definitely changed the nature of a typical good night call with her when she’s away for work. It was still me talking to her, but it was from an different yet familiar frame of mind.

      The more I’m opening up to this, the more I’m finding life is kind of, slowing down and making more sense. Lilly’s there, filtering through, and I feel like it’s sill just me.

    • #134773
      Anonymous

      I no longer see myself as the inner girl, as I’ve been here all along and am slowly becoming fully unleashed.

      It’s very helpful to me and those around me to see two sides; coming to terms with this apparent duality in nature seems best dealt with separately, but it’s all me, so once Laura has established herself better in the world, a joyful reunion is on the cards.

      My current favourite part of the inner me is that I seem able to tap directly into my feelings and emotions, and relay them in a digestible way – somewhat light on the surface, but with rich depths.

      I am kind of wallowing in the beauty of this, as I could never express myself this way as a man before.

      It’s filtering across – the union is inevitable  and welcome. My male side is improving by embracing fully the female that has been locked away.

      So emotional contact and expression is my favourite part – for now!

      Love

      Laura

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