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I am a heterosexual man who is happily married. I have been cross dressing as long as I can remember. I have never looked at men in any sexual manner at all. As a man I don’t find us attractive. Were hairy loud and obnoxious for the most part.
In April I got all dolled up and went out as Sammy. I went into stores and bought some stuff, I want to gas station and spoke with the ladies that worked there then I want to a gay bar that had Cross dresser dance show. It was amazing. Completely exhilarating. While at the bar. I did talk to a guy who bought me a drink and complemented me on my looks and outfit. This was after I told him it was my first night out in 16 years as a woman. Of course he made me feel pretty by telling me I looked great did tell me to work on my voice a bit. LOL.
So to the topic. I had never looked at a man in a sexual manner. That night I was very turned on by him and probably would have at the least made out with him (Which I thought about) and who knows what else If I would have been drinking.
Since then I have been thinking about being with a man but only when I’m dressed up as Sammy. When I’m in my normal man mode it dosent even cross my mind. The moment i put my panties on its like I want to be a lady and feel what a man feels like. I don’t know why but the desire burns when I’m dressed as Sammy.
Does any one else get these feelings only when they are dressed or do the feelings start to surface as time goes on. I’ve never wanted to be with a man as a man but as a woman I am completely curious. Any input would be useful. Thank you ladies for reading my post..
I agree with you, as a man I love women but if at my attractive female self I do wonder what what it would be like with a guy on my arm and it appeals to me I must say.
I love it when men pay attention to me when I’m out and if they’re nice I love to flirt a bit too. I was at a party one night and had been enjoying the company of this man I had met a few times and we really hit it off. Has asked me to dance, a slow one and when we were he rubbed my bum and kissed my neck. Wow I could have ripped his clothes off on the dance floor. If I was in guy mode I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t have happened, by the way the party was a gay friendly club in Toronto so there were men dancing with each other.
Agreed
Very thought provoking question Sammy, thanks for asking. I answered no, I don’t generally have a desire to be with a man when dressed en femme. I agree with you that generally men are hairy, loud and obnoxious. I would definitely rather be with women. I would be a liar, however, if I said I never thought about it. There’s been the odd occasion when I’ve come across a guy that makes me wonder. But that’s as far as it has ever gone; just a fleeting thought. Hugs, Krista
I suppose I’ve been what’s referred to as “bi-curious” all my life, and have only had one sexual encounter with a boy back in my younger days…
Of course, I’m happily married to a wonderful woman – so I wouldn’t become intimate with anyone at this point (man or woman)…but in the spirit of being honest, especially since I’ve “come out” to myself (and all of you) as a transgender woman, I have to say that the curiosity is still there – and in fact – is stronger now than when I was younger. I think it’s natural for one who realizes that her true identity is female to want to experience everything a woman should experience…
Hugs,
Shawna
Yes Shawna I agree when dressed as our female selves it is only natural I think to be attracted to a cute guy.
It is only natural for a woman to be attracted to a man. After all who are we trying to look pretty for? It neverr mattered to me what i was or was not wearing i love men.
Hummm I probably shouldn’t say anything since I haven’t read any of the comments. Thank You so much for being bold enough to pose this post. I’m 100% in this awkward and confusing dilemma. Like standing on the shores of shifting sands. What keeps everything at bay is I’m a Closet Girl but … that doesn’t stop or explain the runaway imaginations. I’ve been dressing for about 9 months…, 9 month of Intriguing Confusion sprinkled with moments Delightful Discovery. This is all so new … I guess the male in me wants and desires all the traits and treats the feminine female offers so to be absorbing and portraying the walking & talking, practicing the movements and mannerisms then to leave this one key component of the female life out as if it wasn’t a real factor… well … it just adds to the unrest with self
Well, I went ahead and took the poll. I answered “No” which seems to make me an outlier among those that commented. Since I’m intensely closeted, I have never gone out en femme with cis-men, cis-women, other CDs or anything in between.
Now, as to that desire to be with a man when dressed, it’s the opposite with me: while dressed, I would rather be out with one or more (understanding) women, and that’s MY fantasy.
I’m more in line with Krista in that I would rather be with women regardless of how I’m dressed. I’ve never subscribed to the macho, one-ups-manship, and competitive BS on display by most cis-men.
But what about another CD? I could easily enjoy being out and about with a like-minded group of crossdressers (if I weren’t so closeted, that is). Although under the hood all MtF CDs are “men”, in the case of other CDs, there is not that “desire to be with a man”, thing implied by the poll question.
So tough to say no, even though I’m not attracted to men I was with one when I was younger many times, despite how much fun I had I’m not attracted to him at all. I do fantasize about dressing for him. It was one of the most intensely feminine I’ve ever felt. But I don’t look at men dressed or not as attractive.
I love this question!! I answered yes because i feel its natural to want to show yourself off to the ‘opposite’ sex. This might seem odd as most of us are biological men at the end of the day, but if you think female, look female, feel female then i think its all part of the process of wanting to be recognised by men. It doesnt make us all suddenly become homosexual!! plus to pass with a man must be the holy grail for most of us too, lets face it, isnt this what most of us strive for, to pass?
Love and kisses, Fiona xxx
I think you’re pretty spot on girl. If a heterosexual man hits on you it would be the best compliment. I don’t think there’s a real clear answer to the question at least for me until I’m actually dressed out and about and it happened. I can say that a particular man is attractive even though I’m not attracted to him but maybe it would change if he hit on me but I don’t know. Part of the thought has me intrigued, part of it not so much.
Great reply Fiona. x
The reason I asked this question, when I was out as Sammy a guy spoke to me and asked If wanted a drink. I didn’t stay around to wait for the drink I left because I was nervous and didn’t want anything crazy to happen. After leaving I did have this feeling inside me that I want to be with a man while being Sammy. I wanted to know what it feels like, what he would smell like, what would it feel like to be treated like a lady. All flushing emotions. I wasn’t ready for the experience nor do I know if I am. So that’s why I asked the question. Thank you for all the feed back!!!!
This is a very good question as I was recently thinking how to ask the exact same question (I hadn’t seen this post at the time), I have to answer yes as I have interacted with men previously when dressed in my younger days. Am I normally interested in males? No, but as I get older I also feel that I may be in the right circumstances. I think the changes in society over the last 30 or 40 years have been a good thing as people who were regarded as “different” aren’t discriminated & generally you feel safer when interacting with others generally.
We are all wired differently, and no, I have never been attracted to a man, en femme or drab.
I actually feel more attracted to women en femme, and can see beauty in the plainest face and dreariest attire.
I love women so much I want to look like them and feel more like them – but stop short at wanting to become one, simply because that is not who I am.
I am a boy/man who wants to look like his heroes.
Not Batman, or a Cowboy, but a girl or woman.
Look like.
Not want to be :0)
Love Laura
I am almost the same & can completely relate, however I only dream of being with another cd. Every time Sophie puts on her finest, I become wild with desire to know exactly how that ‘touch’ feels, but to be honest if I’d been in a similar situation to you I’d probably be in the same frame of mind.
Ive come to the conclusion that the saying is right ‘don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!’ 😂
xx
Absolutely I want to be with a man when I’m Heather Early on I never did but now that I’ve opened up it’s my next step Just really nerves but I have to know what if feels like and complete myself
I’m a closeted girl who is transitioning, in that I’m interested completely now in, when seeing a gorgeous woman, preferring to be her rather than be with her. That’s what I’m loosely basing my no vote on.
i know I prefer slightly femme guys (having been with a few before in drab). I think in public, I’d prefer being with another girl.
I come back to this all the time because I think my urge is getting stronger!!
I have been feeling different about men for some time. I have strong sexual urges towards men when dressed. Yet, lately I’ve just wanted to find a man I can dress for and just be with. I’d love to slip on a comfy dress and just relax with a guy.
Katie. Sit on a couch. Glass of wine. Some cheese. A little fruit. Good conversation and a real good feeling. Yep!
kate
From what I can tell most of us really want to feel a mans touch
Hi – so I have been with men while being dressed as Jenny. And say without hesitation, I love it. The first time as Jenny with a man was like a religious experience for me.
I am attracted to men normally, well, certain men anyway.
But when dressed….oh my, the urge to be with a man is so strong it’s all I can think about at times when dressed. To be honest, men have always been my main motivation for dressing. Not sure why that is, and I seem to be the minority in this group perhaps?
Either way, being with a man is wonderful and if you’re open to it, you should absolutely give it a try. 🙂
Jenny I definitely will if the timing is right. I think that after all wanting to be like a woman we must experience what they do. Feeling a mans touch, kissing him and feeling him inside you is what a woman craves. The more I think about it the more I want to try.
I agree it was religious for me the more I think about it I definitely want to get dressed and do it. The sex was some of the best but it’s weird that I don’t find men attractive except well you know lol. I’m also curious about being with a cross dresser. I hope being dressed will change that.
Toni. Not sure if you have the same dilemma I do? I do not have a natural attraction to men, though I will say that over past year or two, I have been more receptive to their “interest”. However, I am very attracted to, well, that thing that makes them men.
On the other hand, a beautiful woman still catches my eye but my attraction to her, per se, is less. Therefore combining them?
K
Kate and Toni 🙂
I agree, especially on the latter point. A beautiful woman catches my eye, as a matter fact one just did five min ago on my morning walk! LOL
And I can get crushes on women as well, while rarely do I get a crush on men.
Nevertheless, for me and particularly when I am dressed, that powerful, electric, sexual connection with a man is unbeatable when it happens. Pure magic.
Finding that beauty from women and that power ahem wink wink from men would indeed be great combo!
xoxo
Jenny. So funny. So true. So longing. Love sharing. Love ya!
kate
Jenny. Within this world, the true beauty is that there are differences. Opinions and passions differ. But, we all accept and encourage each other. We respect each other and treat each other with dignity. You can be within a minority sub-group and no one ever sets you apart. You know where I’m going with this…if only the global world could get along the same. I wanted to post in response to your comment and will separately as I think I want this comment to stand alone. It is not meant to be political, but lovingly an observation of a group of girls, SO, etc. that want peace, happiness and harmony.
Kate
Jenny. I am in that mindset as well. The desire can be overwhelming when I first slip on my panties – which ~ always go on first (one pieces and Teddy’s?). Can’t get enough of that feeling!
kate
I’m finding as I’m getting older the idea of being with a guy whilst dressed is becoming stronger and stronger I’ve now progressed to using toys and found them so pleasurable. I think my dream fantasy would be to be with another Cd would that make me a lesbian 😊
Hey Zoe. I ask that question a lot. If you enjoy each other as women then, yes! But if one of you assumes a male role in it, not so much. However, if one of you, as a woman, adds a male device ( trying to keep this acceptable) then lesbian still.
Kisses Kate
Sammy Z
welcome aboard. That urge for male companionship is part of your woman in you. Have you purchased any male phallic toys? Not to necessarily answer but curious as that would be natural. You are not masking yourself. As a woman you could just as well have an attraction for other women. Ride it.
kate
Kate yes I have tried toys. And that is where some of my desire comes from.
Sammy Z chicken or the egg. I think my desire rose high and one “thing” led to another, then another, then… Having fun is so okay!
k
In theory, I would be open to having an encounter or even a relationship with a man. In practice, however, I’ve never really been attracted to a man before. I’ve often felt repelled by the competitive nature of cis-gender straight men. I am nowhere near passable when dressed so the temptation hasn’t been there. Who knows how I might react if someone were attracted to me.
What I think would be nice would be to be with another MtF crossdresser. There would be a lot of flexibility in trying out different roles depending on what mood either partner was in. But I would need an emotional connection to be there as I have never been into sex for its own sake. I think my ideal would be a triad with a MtF CD and a GG since that would open up a lot of possibilities. I also consider trans women to be equal in desirability to X/Y karyotype women.
Lauren
Lauren. Sex for the sake of it was never my thing either. It’s a very guy thing? However (I do love that word..?), I feel a little more passionate at the moment I hook my bra. Perhaps? Perhaps I was less sexually driven as a male, because I was not really feeling it. But as a woman it is more palpable. Yet, my fantasy and imagination always involves an intimacy, not an action, alone. And in my bra and panties, when I ponder such things, I ponder as you do.
Kate
Thank you for a very interesting question Sammy. Also, thanks to Kate for her comment and with whom I would like to offer my support. What I have been struck with is how open and accepting girls are to have this discussion and also on other subjects throughout the site. There are a broad range of dressing preferences and reasons for dressing, just as there is a range of sexuality and gender identity, yet people are welcomed and as far as I have seen, not judged. To see this compassion is so inspiring.
I don’t see this as political, more a challenge of some elements of society who seek to criticise difference and try to make everyone the same. Even to the point where love and empathy is seen as a weakness. As Nick Lowe wrote “What’s so funny ‘bout peace, love and understanding”.
Jessica x
Jessica. That was perfect. You’re the best!
kate
All of your responses have been so honest its great
When I am in man mode, I have no attraction for men whatsoever, but dress me up, and I definitely am attracted to them! I have had several occasions to be with men when I have been dressed, and the only one I turned down was some ass that thought I wanted to be treated like a slut! I am a lady make out with me, make to me, the rest will happen as nature intended! However if I’m in drab, don’t expect me to recognize you, or even say hi!
So last time Samantha was out, I walk into a local bar. Boom, like some sort of slut-magic, this guy is all over me; “Who are you here with?”, ” Can I buy you a drink?”, No Mr Pushy! I did love answering his questions, I just pointed to my wife, Chelsea! I feel I have to play more defense than offense, when out in on the town.
The honesty expressed in these responses has been very refreshing.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Before starting on this wonderful path I would have said quite truthfully (at the time) that I was completely hetero, along the way there have been many ‘adjustments’. Because I feel connected to my femme persona even when not fully dressed, I get these feelings at any time. I do enjoy getting to be both the male and female partner with, and for my gf. My attraction to others, while not necessarilly based on just physical or sexual qualities, can be towards any gendered person. But being a as I am in a committed loving relationship, it remains just that, an attraction.</p>Hi.
I’m a gay man with an understanding husband. I love being a male, female couple when dressed. He is going to attend a trans, social group with me. Can’t wait. Will keep all you girls posted.
Amanda x
I think that is awesome. I do think I would really enjoy a night where a man treated me like a lady all night. Having a long and romantic night is starting to sound like something Im looking for. Thanks for the response
Since the first pair of panties slid up my legs at five yrs old, I have felt I should have been born a girl and that some cruel trick was played on me when I was born. I am now and have always been attracted to men.
The day my sister found out about the sister she never really knew, she asked me if I was gay. I told her that gay was two males having relations together, and that I had never felt like I was male. My body looked male, but I knew that was wrong.
I liked girls when I was growing up, but just as friends. I have never even kissed a real ciswoman in my life. The very first person that knew me as Paula was a man, and wow did I crush on him hard. He actually became my first love and lover.
There have been a few steady men in my life, but nothing permanent. But that is okay. I know who I am, and the people that can’t live with that have no place with me.
Paula
I feel exactly like this, whenever I dress I really feel like I want to be with a man. When I’m just in drab I rarely think about it. I always thought that maybe I’m gay, …maybe I am but I feel at least I’m bi or bicurious. The idea of sitting next to a man as he compliments me or touches my leg is such a turn on for me. Someday maybe I’ll work up enough courage t make it happen.
I love women, and have mostly been with women all my life. I have also been with a few men. I must admit, much like many of you, when I dress I embrace my feminine side and those are the times when I desire being with a man. I have only had one experience when I dressed and was with a man and it was one of the best experiences I every had. I felt so free to be sensual and gave myself completely to him and it was so satisfying. I often fantasize about that experience when I’m with my wife. My hope is that as I continue to grow as a cross dresser and have more open experiences as a girl, that I will experience the sensuality of both men and women.
Yes I would like to be with a man while dressed as Rozalyne x I’m bi so it’s not a problem, I’ve been with a few men but not while dressed up, it would be nice to meet a man and go out for a meal and be treated like a lady and if I really liked him then let him take me to bed afterwards, it’s something to look forward to, maybe some time in the future I might get lucky xxxxx
I know when dressed I have found that I want to be with a man more but I’m not outright attracted to them but I think it’s because I want to be accepted in the female role. That being said I also fantasize just as much being with a woman while dressed as a woman. When dressed in my normal garb I have no attraction to men or a desire to be with one.
I can’t answer because there is no middle. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t but I am bisexual anyway so that’s normal for me. If you’re asking if I feel more attracted to men while en femme I have to say I don’t think so. I have heard that a lot of us ladies do though and there is absolutely no shame in it at all.
I am not attracted to men ever, men are fairly repulsive. There are very few pretty or very handsome men out there. When I dress up, I am still not attracted to men, however, I do become bisexual, and will dance with men and consider doing more. I get hit on at the bar occasionally by men and women. I enjoy flirting with men at the bar occasionally also.
I voted YES because I love the attention of men and have been with several. Of course, they have to be gentlemen and respectful!
I love this question thank you for posing it. I am without a doubt a yes. I think this comes from the fact that I feel a lot more vulnerable when dressed. I love the idea of being able to snuggle up in the arms of a man or walk down the road on his arm being shown off.
I can only speak for myself, but I think there are internal and external factors at work here. I did indeed answer yes. And, I have been with a guy (sexually) as Cindy.
I think the internal aspect has to do with “feeling femme”. We start with panties and/or pantyhose and it makes us feel like a girl and we really like that feeling. So, with each progression… skirts, dresses, high heels, breast forms, wig, makeup… we feel more and more like a girl and therefore enjoy that feeling even more and more. And, for some of us (only some, emphasis added) if we imagine ourselves with a guy or act upon those feelings, we hit the maximum “feeling femme” which can be very intoxicating.
The external aspect (thanks mostly to the internet) is the “femme validation”. When we dress, no matter what stage we are in, we see ourselves as a woman. Now, we can share pics, vids, blogs, etc. and have others comment on our femininity. How wonderful it is to be told that you look beautiful or sexy as a woman. And, for some of us (only some, emphasis added) to have a man see you as female (and want you sexually) is the maximum validation of our female self. So, in imagining that male/female dynamic, we start to look at guys differently and start to feel an attraction toward them.
So, here’s the kicker for me… occasionally, when drab, and even when I’m with other people, I might see a guy and think… “He’s really handsome, I think Cindy would like him”
Cindy – love that reply. I also voted yes long ago. But so interesting to read some of the newer comments!
I myself am normally attracted to men, but when dressed as Jenny the attraction/interest in men is indeed heightened 1000 times than when just a guy.
And when a man returns that interest/attraction? Oh my!
Perhaps it is the ultimate validation as you suggest? I’m not sure the why, but I can definitely say it is the most powerful form of being “femme” I can possibly imagine. Being with a man who sees me as Jenny and wants me as Jenny . I just love it beyond words 🙂
Girl you and I think so much alike. That maximum femme feeling you talk about is like a drug. It’s extremely intoxicating. Once you get a taste, you need more.
When I finally came out, I didn’t even consider dating men. It was very low on my list. Then I started noticing guys holding the door for me, or flashing a smile at me. I thought that was so cool. Then when the guys started to come up and talk to me or buy me drinks, that’s when my curiosity began to kick in. One of my girlfriends and I had this discussion and eventually she fixed me up with one of her male friends. We only went out on a couple of dates but the feeling of being accepted as a woman was so amazing. The experience left me wanting more. Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long before my girlfriend set me up with another of her guy friends.
Funny thing. When I’m in guy mode, I too look at men the same way. “Hmm…that guy is definitely Cynthia’s type.”
I am not attracted to men but when I am dressed I do fantasize about having sex like a women. So there is something about going all the way as a women.
I completely understand that there is no reason why gay or bisexual men shouldn’t want to cross dress, it’s a natural progression and I wish them all the luck in the world and hope they all find happiness.
I do not understand those who are married or have an understanding significant other yet still feel the need for another sexual fantasy. May the goddess of broken heels and hearts forever haunt them.
Dipping deep into our collective psyche with such a question…good for you for making us think.
As a biologist I am fascinated by anatomy plant, animal and human, including the human Male. I have always appreciated both the Male and female forms (definitely prefer the female option.) I have always had a fantasy about doing sex on another Male, but nothing really beyond that. Even long before I started dressing (aside for once or twice as a pre-teen) I have been I treated in the expereince. Since dressing more and more the desire is still there to try it, but would prefer to be enfemme if I did. I truly think it is a one off experience like sky diving. I would love to take the leap once, but once is likely enough…but who knows until you step out of that plane.
I am not attracted to men. However I do harbor fantasies of being made to pleasure men as a woman. I do not dress for this though and as far as I know they are just fantasies and an aspect of my nature as a submissive. I have lately wondered if those feelings are just my mind’s way of allowing me the freedom to consider men as something I’d want. I have never gone out in public dressed and I really don’t know what I’d do if a man started flirting with me. I was never very good at being the initiator as a guy because I never had any confidence that anyone would be interested in me and quite frankly became self conscious more often than not. However, when I dress I love looking sexy and pretty. I can’t think of any other reason that I’d feel like I want to look sexy and pretty than because I want eyes on me, a man’s eyes. It’s confusing and something I’m still sorting out.
My heavens…..wore out to find a spot to turn to my turn !!! I started as a boy….but felt a girl. When I turned old enough and telled everybody……buzz off and I gave the woman of destiny I had/has to be.
Men…………feel different……..Bollocks……..I am indifferent of the males!! I like my girls, been, wanted to, made one and live woman…. The Goddess made us her in her image.
Dame Veronica
Definitely not. Accepting myself as a crossdresser made me only more certain that I do not like men at all. However, the idea of being sexual as a woman is extremely appealing and the idea of being in a lesbian couple is pretty intoxicating. In such a situation the idea of being the more feminine one is preferred, not to say I would want a “butch” partner but to imagine myself a beautiful, ultrafeminine woman with another beautiful girl perhaps wearing pants and with shorter hair and more dominant… why would anyone want a man when you could have that?
Cindy Jones I think that your analysis nailed it. I’ve been in guy mode and looked at another male and thought Jennifer would probably be attractive to him but i wonder if he would be attracted to her.
and when dressed as Jennifer I wonder what it would be like to be a genetic woman and meeting a man for the first time, i.e. how the interaction would be and would she fall for his lines or not.
i also find that when on online sites guys just want to have sex with you while you are dressed.. whether it is a curiosity for them or they just want to get their jollies off and can’t get a real woman, i don’t know for sure. But when i was younger that might have been ok, which i never fully dressed when younger, but at an older age I think that i want more from another.
Jennifer
I have truly enjoyed reading all the different feelings and attitudes about this question. It’s something I’ve considered over the years. I’ve come to the conclusion for me anyway, that I am totally heterosexual, but in a different way than was expressed earlier. As a male I find women interesting, attractive, enjoyable to be with, once I get past my natural shyness. I pay attention to how they’re dressed, how they’re styled, makeup, hair, jewelry etc. I admit that a very few I find even sexually attractive. I’m married in a fully committed relationship so I will never roam elsewhere. I pay attention because when I’m imagining and then in private, exploring my feminine side, I use all that to improve my dressing.
In my idle thoughts about my feminine side, when I’m alone, whether I’m dressed or not, I do imagine being with a man. In fact, from my adolescence onward when I would daydream about being a girl or woman, I would imagine having a man with me, near me, close to me. If there times I’ve dressed or imagined being dressed and being with another woman, they were so few, I can’t remember any of them. Since I never see other males when I’m dressed, but only in drab male mode, I don’t look at any of them ever as potential partners for me as a female. I think I’d go crazy if I started doing that.
But as others have suggested, if I was looking for it, if I was dressed and if I was single and felt good about myself as well as having SRS on the horizon, I can see me having a relationship with a man. But this is just me, a heterosexual male who dreams of being a heterosexual female.
Cindy, I believe you have “hit the nail on the head!” If you are fully dressed and made-up, being attractive to men comes naturally for the guy. And, it comes with a huge sense of satisfaction. Feeling desired by someone is very rewarding. Being attracted back, I think, is also a natural reaction when you are in a womanly mode. Feeling sexually attractive. and acting on your feelings is also a natural reaction, if you are truly into your female frame of mind. The difference comes in when your “normal life” relationships come into play. Is being sexual in your “womanly” mode going to be without a sense of guilt about breaking the assumed tenants of your real -life relationship?
I believe that I would likely be interested in experiencing the full womanly role with a guy, if I were not in a life-long relationship with my bride. I have fantasized about this many times in the last two decades or so. That being said, I’d never consider having sex with a guy when I’m in my “real-life” male mode. Interesting.
At first I wasn’t really thinking about men. I just really felt exhilarated when I dressed like a girl. I fantasized about all kinds of different sexual relationships, but mostly with women or other cross dressers. I would stop dressing for awhile out of guilt, fear and shame, then I would start again. Each time I would start dressing again, I would become more excited about the idea of being seduced or seducing a man. I finally met someone close by on line and went to his house. I was dressed in sexy lingerie under my clothes but I had make up on and a wig. It was quick but satisfying. I sit here now thinking about how exciting it was. I’m clearly bisexual and I’m very comfortable with that. I do prefer feminine men – not macho types – and cross dressers. I haven’t had anymore opportunities to hook up, but I’m craving another chance! Working up the courage to go out to a club to play!
Wearing womans clothes or not, I have always been attracted to both men and woman. For me, wearing womans clothing does nothing to turn me on or turn me off. However, I did go thru a period of experimentation in my mid twenties where I had sex with guys while dressed as a girl, but that seems an eternity away.
I could never be with a man. I don’t dress up or wear a lot of makeup. I have a full head of gray/white hair that i can style really cute or just comb it straight back as a man. I dress in jeans, flats,sandals or tennis shoes. Stylish sweatshirts or a cute top. I absolutely adore women! Just maybe I was a lesbian in a past life😃
I find that my attraction is still much the same, so when I’m dressed, I’d have to call myself a lesbian. Though, and this might seem a bit contrary to my last statement, I do like it getting looks from men when I’m out and dressed as a woman. The last number of months I have been out numerous times, and have had quite a few looks, at me, at my boobs. One guy was even trying to pick up. Don’t know if any of them realized, as some guys like trans women, and that’s what I look like.
For me, its’ a compliment that I doing my presentation correctly.
I am careful where I go, and dress according to the situation. Even though I like to show a lot of leg at times, I don’t if I’m out walking around on a street, or even the mall.
Though I try to be careful just HOW I look at women, I don’t want to be outed, just because of the way I’m looking at pretty women. That seems to what I refer to as “The Hard Part”. My appearance I can change, but habits I’ve had for 50 years and more aren’t so easy.
Amy
Just look when in drab mode, that is how i taught myself . It allows you to scan ,makeup,deportment,, attire, mannerisms and in general, casual relaxation while on a routine shopping trip.Please remember these ladies are doing this every day of their lives,It’s second nature to them . Relax, ignore and enjoy.PS. I am by no means perfect and am still learning by the day.I guess i must be lesbian because ,I have no interest in men while dressed or in drab.I am very comfortably Heterosexual, and have never knowingly been clocked Py xx.
As Eloise I feel sorry for the fearful macho men who can’t acknowledge the undeniable feminine qualities which afford balance in happy men. I do not seek sexual intimacy with men, so I guess I become a lesbian, though I do enjoy chatting with men who are pleasant, empathetic, complimentary (of course) and liberal thinkers.
Not even remotely. In fact, though I aim to look as attractive as I can as a woman while dressed as Alex, I have no desire to attract the sexual attention of men or women. It’s an odd thing, I suppose. But I am heterosexual, so whatever I wear will not change that.
I posted this 6 months ago. My feelings haven’t change. I have not been back out as Sammy but my desire to be with a man as Sammy is growing. I am planning to go out in a few weeks and we will see what happens. XOXO
This is an fascinating question for sure. The male body doesn’t particularly attract me in the general course of things, but when I’m dressed as a women I feel more “receptive,” shall we say, interested in being the object of someone’s desire. If it came to the nitty-gritty, though, I’m not sure I’d react well to a guy. Sure would be interesting to find out.:-)
Being on the short side and medium build is not advantages for men. When dressed, I love being the short girl and imagine guys being sweet and protective of me. These days whenever I have to read instructions or read some learning material, I imagine myself as a
little girl and a guy or another girl is teaching me. My comprehension seems a lot better than a short guy that people are dismissive of trying to learn something. People can be such A-Holes.
When dressed, I imagine guys flirting with me and engaging in heavy petting. The same goes for women after some girl talk and sharing secrets.
At first, I naturally assumed I was gay because I wanted to dress up like a girl. However, I realized I wasn’t attracted to men physically. I was still attracted to girls. It wasn’t until I was crossdressing a few years that I took the initiative to see if I would like to experience a homosexual encounter dressed as a girl. It was only by an unusual set of circumstances I initiated an encounter with a friend that evolved into a sexual relationship where I explored essentially being a someone’s girlfriend. Even today, I still prefer women, en femme or in drab, but I also like being someone’s “girl”.
Hi
when dressed as Hanna! I do find myself wondering what it would be like to be desired by a man, have him run his hands up my stocking clad legs and underneath my dress.
Todate never been brave enough to find out , and although there is fantasy to be with a man, I don’t know if I could submit fully to one, probably class myself as being bi sexual.
And real fantasy is to share the moment with another gurl.
Hugs
Hanna
My sexual preference is still woman. Men just do not do it for me.I had two experiences with men when I was dressed . First when I was a teenager out with other girls like us. He forced himself on me. I did not like at all. 2nd was I was in a gay bar dressed and this man sat beside me bought me a drink put his hand on my thigh while talking to me. I felt so uncomfortable. I did like it when a lesbian hit on me . I felt attractive and cute. She was a cute masculine woman if that makes any sense. Maybe I am trying to figure it out. In the mean time I am going to enjoy my feminity and just enjoy being and learning to be the woman I always wanted to be. Thank you for the question. Luv Stephanie
Although I am 99.999999% attracted to women, I do experience this. I don’t find men physically attractive, but when I am in girl mode and a man starts treating me as a girl (this has always been via online encounters) I start to get butterflies and feel extremely drawn to them. Receiving compliments, especially specific ones that show they are paying attention to the details, does something to me… I get all melty like. I fall into this girlish trance O.o
Of course!! We want to be woman and feel the things woman feel. I think its only natural to feel that way.
This is a complex issue that has been raised before. My experience has been that, amongst cross-dressers, contemplation of having sex with a male partner is far more common than might be imagined. As the attached poll suggests about two-thirds (60-75% in similar polls) of cross-dresser have seriously considered the possibility.
The usual response is the the cross-dresser is homosexual or at least bisexual but in denial. However I believe the terms, heterosexual, homosexual, etc. are not only based on false assumptions but relatively meaningless. For example, they assume that one is attracted to another person because of their sex. Even though they really have no way of knowing the other person’s sex by a casual observation.
Gender, on the other hand, is determined by observation. Assuming that cross-dressers might wish to seek a male sex-partner because they are attracted to their maleness is not founded on actual experience. The assumption is inaccurate on several grounds.
First of all, it is not the sex (female-male) of the other person that creates sexual attraction but it is their gender (femininity-masculinity-androgyny) that attracts. It is true that, subliminally, one is attracted (because of the instinctual impulse to propagate) to the “idea” of a person of the other sex as gender consists of cues and clues that activate the libido. But the “idea” is not the same as the actual sex. We know that some males can be as feminine or even more feminine than many females. That femininity is the basis of attraction, not some mythical sexual orientation. It is ‘normal’ for most males to be attracted to femininity. Gay males are generally attracted to masculinity. So it is gender and not sex that engenders sexual desire.
Often, in initially creating our feminine persona, the objective is to create an object towards which we can direct our attraction to femininity. Sometimes we are remarkably successful. Such success can lead to speculation about our femininity in more intimate circumstances. This could be seen as a validation of the creativity of our femininity or simply another manifestation of the sexual impulses that are very significant to people, especially males, especially younger males. In such instances is is not necessarily or wholly the fact that a another male finds one to be attractive that is seductive, but the fact we find ourself to be attractive and also that anyone else does.
A common refrain is that the (usually imaginary) male partner is relatively featureless. They key issue is not their appearance but their behaviour. Basically they are desirable if they are loving, respectful, attentive and gentlemanly. They do not have to be handsome, buff or even young (although these things would be nice).
What it comes down to is that the cross-dresser, in such a situation (real or imaginary) is invariable feminine and the sexual partner is most often masculine. Thus, in terms of gender, the sexual activity is comparable to the concept of ‘heterosexuality’; they are a man and a woman. Granted the sex is male-male, therefore ‘homosexual’, but that is meaningless unless the overt motivation is the production of offspring.
When a man and a woman or a man and a man or a woman and a woman find pleasure in each other’s attractiveness, based on their gender, these are good things. Sometimes a male may find being a woman so key to their being that they prefer to remain as women. Sometimes males tend to transition between genders and their sexual objectives will vary accordingly. As I I mentioned at the beginning this is not only relatively common, but common enough to be ‘normal’. If you are a male that is attracted to feminine persons that is consistent with your embedded instinct regardless of that feminine person’s actual sex. If you are feminine and attracted and aroused by your own femininity is it natural to want to be treated sexually as a woman without necessarily being attracted to males as such. If you are a feminine male attracted to a man’s masculinity then you are pretty much just a woman.
As I said, it is complex and can be mystifying but by setting aside misleading and antiquated concepts based on misconceptions we can see that sexuality, like gender, is variable and take delight in that variability.
Araminta.
Of course I think most crossdressers feel attracted to men it is part of the whole woman thing. I am not sure how far I would go with the right guy but certainly it would be lovely to be taken out for dinner and a stroll arm in arm. Cuddles and kissing would be on the cards as well but what after? X
When I am dressed, even if only in lingerie and heels, I certainly do think about men in a much more sexual way. However, I do also think about women similarly-in that outside of being crossdressed I would never think, or want to sleep/have sex with either a man or a woman other than my SO
I considered myself 100% hetero, I had these feelings, I took a chance and acted on themwhen the chance presented itself. I have never regretted it, I would describe myself as fluid when I’m en femme, no guilt————–just an orgasm.
Its a real eye opener to see all the varying replies but it seems like everything else we all have different ideas fantasies and sexual desires. As male me I am hetero sexual and attracted to women, I have no desire to engage in same sex activity however when I am dressed I find that I become Gail and as such desire all things that a woman would desire including a “heterosexual relationship. This means that in reality I would be engaging in same sex activity but I feel that when I am a woman I am a woman and as such I have the desires of a real woman. It would no doubt make Freud give up psychiatry and go into woodworking. In essence everyone is different and all people should be valued no matter who they choose as a sexual partner
when I dress up from head to toe and look pretty and sexy I want to be with a another x dresser and have sex, feeling the sensation of being a female, but when in male mode I have no intention on dating a male person. only when I female mode I am all female and need to feel what its like to be a female and have sex with another x dresser. but that never happened yet cant find that some one close by that would be interested in dating and having sex
I can honestly say that I gave even crossdressing for 50 years but have never fancied a man at all…I adore women but I look at them and want to look and dress like them…not fancy them..I want to be a woman but at nearly 60 there is not much hope….I can look half that when I’m Rebecca but sorry I do not fancy men
Love to all Rebecca xx
Absolutely I feel the same way. When I get dressed I think about men and what it would be like to be in a man’s arms tightly around me and him slowly seducing me. It just excites me into delight and into exotic behavior, but when I’m in man mode I think about women. It’s a strange thing going on in my head. 😂
When I am dressed as a woman, I don’t just want to look like a woman.
I am a woman, and I act like a woman, think like a woman and want/like what women want/like, and that includes having attention from a man. I have dated a man and it is he most femininely affirming thing I have ever done. In drab I am straight, I guess I am straight “en femme” as well. What do you think?
I feel that way too. I’d never be attracted to a man as a man normally but as a woman and I think of myself as a woman I’m attracted to both. I had been a bit bicurious for awhile especially as I accepted myself as trans
I absolutely feel the same. I’m very attracted to women cis or trans especially trans
I’m fluid and just looking to meet the right person! That said, I love my feminine side. It unwinds me and allows me to be more relaxed. To be adored and courted and taken by someone capable of being a true friend as I have approached my partners in the past just sends me reeling with excitement! Yet it is, I believe, only a CD or TG who would make sharing my whole-self possible. Thank you girlfriends and CDH for helping me unload my true feelings.
When I first started dressing it was to “be” the girls I could talk to. I was very shy and would close up when around a girl I found attractive. So I started to emulate them in looks. Years later, after, having some outings in public and finding sites on the internet, I started fantasizing about being with a man. The man would need to be smooth and athletic and treat me like an actual lady.
I am also attracted to trans women and often think about to them too.
This is realy curious.
Like many have said, when in male mode, nothing is further from my mind than having and sort of intimate relationsship with a man.
When annie though, I really want to be with a man, to have him treatme like a lady, to be wined and dined and then to have fun in bed, feelinf him penetrate me like a woman (even though that’s an impossibility at the moment) and sh… my brains out. I want to be weak at the knees after he finishes with me. It would be just so wonderful.
Like with many things we expereience, I did think it was only me who felt like this. How wrong can one be???
Take care girls
Anne-Marie.
Yes, absolutely! It’s been a huge fantasy of mine for some time now. I also consider myself Heterosexual but when I’m dressed, I really want to experience sex as a woman with a man. I have told people I’m bi, but the only reason for that is because of my fantasy. I have no interest in men at all when not dressed. This week I met another cross dresser that lives about 30 min from me. We have been corresponding a few times a day all week and we are considering experimenting together after the COVID restrictions are lifted. Not sure if it will happen. It would be a first for both of us. But the idea is intriguing!
I think I am fully acclimated to being in a man’s company at this point. I enjoy their company and attention.
I do desire to be with men when dressed as Kaitlyn. Although it isn’t what I seek out when I do dress. I mostly dress cause the girl inside me needs to express herself. Sometimes though my female sexuality comes out. It helps me to really work hard at my fem presentation I’ve noticed. When I’m with a man I work a bit harder at makeup, sexiness and making sure I’m passable. The feeling have sex with men as Kaitlyn pushes me over the edge and my femininity explodes and feels so good.
Yes I just want to be with a man especially sexually I just explode inside what a feeling it is. Even though I’ve been married and love sex with a woman I’m separated now but I’ve come to accept and enjoy dressing as Candy and being that girl I always new I should and wished to have been. I started wearing my aunties sexy panties bras lingerie ect. At age 5 and I have felt so different actually felt normal. I had sexual encounters with my best mate a lot and another at school. I’ve had many female partners but I’ve fought for most mylife with who I really am I’ve learnt and love that I’ve realised if I started living my life as who I wanted to be years ago i wouldve been so much happier
I am definitely more attracted to men as Tabitha. And, being with a man doesn’t mean that we have to wait to enjoy a man’s attention and touches. We can be strong women who take on the more dominant persona and take charge in initiating those hugs and kisses and touches on him that we want reciprocated on us!
Having said that, I have must say that my primary preference is to be with crossdressers.
However, life can be very short. Don’t pass up a possible loving relationship with anyone that crosses your path, whether that person be a male, female, etc.
Always. Not all men are sexy and not all men are sensitive to our needs. I don’t consider myself a woman and I definitely don’t feel I’m a man. So answering the question at hand here I’m attracted to allot of different men but some disgust me, many men are just not my forte. But trust me where I go and where I lip sync there are more than plenty of guys to check out and score on. I would have to say being dressed sexy can have a big impact.
I will have to go with the “yes” side. There is no question that when I’m finishing up my makeup and looking at the woman in the mirror that the thought of being with a man is overwhelming. I’ve been dressed as Bobbi and been with another CD recently and it was the best sex I ever had. Then the pandemic hit and we can’t get together to “dress up”.
I have been with guys before dressing in women attire. I have yet to be with a guy dressed as a woman. I do have the urges as you do to be a guy when I’m dressed as a woman. There is a bar in Savannah,Ga. that a few coworkers want to take me to. They accept crossdressers openly so I’m told. As soon as the virus thing is lifted, we plan on going there.
I am in a committed relationship with my supportive spouse and do have thoughts as Stephanie of being with a man. I don’t know if that makes me bicurious or what. When in full
Stephanie mode my thinking is towards all things feminine. This includes feeling pretty and attractive to the opposite sex(male). As Stephanie I don’t consider those thoughts to be out of line with my persona and completely heterosexual. It’s very complicated because when enfemme with my wife(as her female self) in the bedroom I feel like her lesbian lover. To get further complicated we have played the complete role reversal with all that is implied. My Stephanie persona took complete control and it felt amazing. She told me that I squealed like a girl at the end. We had talked about going out to a drag show on our trip away from home where there would be music and dancing before the show. I asked her what if a man asked me to dance and she told me that I better get up and dance. I think she knows that as Stephanie I want to experience all the feminine things. I think that a nice slow dance and being held tight would be amazing as Stephanie. I don’t think it would ever go any further than a dance but I know even that would be exciting. I really think that a lot of us on CDH just have fantasies and that is all that they will ever be! A mind is a terrible thing to waste so enjoy the prospect of the unknown…StephanieThis is not necessarily the case. But it can happen. In my case, I believe that I am driven to the CD because I am so fond of femininity, so through CD I can maintain a lasting relationship with it. In this sense, yes, I could desire a sometimes. However, in general, male characteristics do not attract me at all. What would be more familiar to me is to meet another CD.
Sammy: your post sounds like it came out of my mouth. I too am married for some years, and 100% heterosexual (or at least I always thought so). I have always thought 2 men together was disgusting-although their choice-it’s just not me (although I found 2 women erotic), but as I am dressed, I do wonder what it would feel like for a man to be with Christine (me), just as I always wondered what my wife was feeling. Who knows where this life is taking me? Maybe it’s being stuck at home, but my mind is in constant motion wondering what might be.
To answer honestly, it would be “yes”. I think it is a combination of the femininity and of being feminine. It’s almost like I want to be controlled. I still don’t find men attractive, but it is more of the feeling of not being in charge. I don’t know how else to say it. In male mode, I have thought could I do it and the answer is always “no”. It is an interesting question.
My thoughts are similar to yours & Lisa’s (& others who’ve posted on this before). I think there’s something very seductive in not being in control (as a guy is supposed to be)–of being the receptive one, accepting pleasure from another who’s in charge (who could be a woman interested in taking charge).
I voted yes. I never thought that I would want to be with a man until I was on vacation away from everyone who knows me and I met a man who I was attracted to. I confessed to him that I was a crossdresser and he was alright with it. He treated me like a man treats a woman and I was intreaged by the way that he treated me Always polite and a perfect gentleman when we were together I couldn’t believe how much that I wanted to be with him and on the last night of my vacation we slept together and it was the highlight of my vacation. I often think about him and what we did but it was a one time thing that I haven’t been with another man since.
I can’t check my notes at this moment but I recall seeing similar, informal polls with similar results. Essentially two-thirds indicated an interest in being the woman during coitus while about one-third were fairly definite in not being interested. The first thing to remember, ‘though, is that it is two-thirds of cross-dressers that is polled not two-thirds of males. These are already gender variant therefore one might expect a high level of sexual variance as well. As to the one-third, well, I suspect that a few of you could be seduced under the right conditions.
Another factor is that while two-thirds of the total have seriously considered the possibility that does not mean that two-thirds have acted upon those desires. Some, like myself, probably never had the opportunity or did not follow up when the opportunity arose. Basically, a high level of expressed desire does not mean a high level of commensurate activity. This for the spouses who will see this and likely become concerned a reminder that thinking and acting can be two, different things.
There is the question as two how many cross-dressers are androphilic (the concept usually referred to as ‘homosexual’ but indicative of a sexual orientation to the masculine gender and not wholly or even necessarily to males). The accepted prevalence in the general, male population of gay men is usually estimated at 9% and that seems to hold true for the cross-dressing population as well.
Ah, a few polls I did rescue.
Two polls related to the matter are:
Latent Homosexuality; ‘Has Crossdressing had an affect on your sexuality?’
No, I have always been heterosexual and remain so. 40.62%
Yes, It has made me fantasize about being with men when I am dressed. 31.38%
Yes, I have experimented with men but found that I prefer women. 6.46%
Yes, it has influenced me and I am exploring bisexuality.10.46%
Yes, I have become more interested in Men. 6.77%
Yes, it has influenced me to think about sex change. 4.31%
325 respondents
Do you find men attractive sexually under any circumstances?
No, women only for me thanks. 52.84%
I like women, but sometimes I like men OR I’m bisexual. 45.20%
I like men exclusively, not attracted to women. 1.97%
458 respondents
Another poll asks:
Are you Bi, Straight, Gay or don’t Know?
Straight: 395 25.94%
Bisexual: 740 48.59%
Gay: 96 6.30%
Don’t know: 292 19.17%
Total Votes: 1523
In the first poll about 60% expressed an interest but 28% actively took some action and of those 6.5% found that male-male sex was not to their taste. That is only 20% or so of cross-dressers are likely to become sexually active with other males.
The second poll tells us that, even if we think about coitus with another male, for the most part (53%) we are exclusively gynecophilic (attracted to femininity) while a fair number (45%) are also sexually variant. Again, an apparently high proportion but it is a specialized sample group. Also the first poll does not so much measure sexual orientation as sexuality (not quite the same thing) while the second attempts to measure sexual orientation more than just sexuality.
The third poll measures (or attempts to) sexual orientation. At first the numbers seem different but I would add ‘Don’t know’ to ‘Straight’ ( I mean, if you can’t even guess then you must be ‘straight’) to get about 55% (compared to the 53% above) and about 49% at least interested (compared to 45%) and a more likely 6% are gay. This last also reflects that gay men often are not interested in femininity or being feminine. Obviously some gay men are interested in being feminine (which may mean, as gender invariant, feminine, androphilic males, it may be senseless to regard them as being anything but women and really not that gay after all). So the last two polls do indicate some similarity.
In any case it seems that the feasibility of being the feminine participant during coitus is a common element amongst Masculine-to-Feminine cross-dressers without it necessarily meaning that they are particularly and certainly not wholly androphilic. That is one reason why I believe that the stimulating factor is our own femininity rather that the masculinity of our male partner (although, in retrospect, that likely bears some weight on the matter). That is, male-male sex may be ‘homosexual’ sex but not necessarily ‘gay’ sex. The distinction may be subtle for some but you have to set aside some antiquated concepts.
This would mean that, while so many gender variant males at least fantasizing about coitus with a male partner is not precisely ‘normal’ (more of a statistical fiction than anything), it is common enough to be mornal ( perfectly sane, healthy and beneficial regardless of statistics or morality).
For those of you who have had the pleasure of being a woman in a sexual relationship, congratulations on being able to have such a wonderful experience and I am SO jealous.
Araminta.
That is so true. Drinking could end quite badly for most crossdressers. I was in Walmart just this evening and had a guy get up in my face threatening to slap me because his gf thought I was following her. I was only trying to mind my own business and buy some panties and hoses. So, you can imagine how someone like that would be if there were drinking involved. If you do plan on going out to a bar for drinks, plan on going with friends that will have your back if things get out of hand.
I have to reply.. Just to hit the ‘submit’ button.
Personally I have no desire to be with a man wether dressed or not. I am so infatuated with the female body I wish I had one. I am open to role play with females that would like to be in charge and have tried gender swap with a partner and enjoyed it. I think everyone should be free to explore what they desire as long as it causes no one else harm. If while dressed you are attracted to a man go for it flirt a little. Remember you can always stop if you start to feel uncomfortable. Live life for you and let no one tell you your wrong in how you think
I don’t think I have a great deal to add to the conversation, but I will throw in my two cents.
Like many of the girls here, I generally consider myself 100% straight when I’m not dressed. Most of my friends would call me manly, and a few would probably say macho. For most of my life I’ve had no desire to be with a man, and I’ve had offers.
That started to change about 20 years ago. I started to fantasize about men, but only when I was dressed. Again, like several of you, I interpreted this as a desire to be more truly feminine. Aside from “pillow talk” I didn’t think about it or voice it.
About 10 years ago, I was commuting home from work. I had worn panties to work, and I was feeling very feminine despite being mostly drab, and all during the day at work I had been fantasizing about being with a guy, having a guy pick me up. I remember very clearly thinking “I’m in my car, no one can hear me, and it’s time to let this out,” and then out loud I said “I want to have a man.” (I was actually more salacious than that, but you get the idea.)
It’s never happened, and for multiple reasons it may not ever happen, but I did admit it to myself, and I felt better for having done so.
Krista: For the most part, I totally agree with you. Men are pigs, I should know. Christine has lived in a man’s body for (um, let’s say for more than a few years). However, this girl is 5’16” in her nylon covered feet, and for that reason, have always been cast as the protector. While I sincerely doubt I’d want to be “with” a man, I would love to be held and cuddled and protected
I agree I have those feelings when dressed
Definitely yes for me! I mostly thought about girls when I was younger but have always had the urge to crossdress and felt very feminine but tried to hide it. When I started going out, I realized I enjoyed attention from men(usually) while dressed and have enjoyed some great intimate experiences. My dream is to dress full time and find the right man to settle down with.
I do think about it when I’m feeling girly sometimes…ok, a lot 🤷♀️
When I am in male mode I almost exclusively think about women in a sexual manner, but when I get fully dressed up I seem to do a complete flip and my thoughts turn to men and other cds. I love being able to tantalize men when I have been on cam with them a truly appreciate their desires for me. I have only had the chance to be with one younger man in person and the experience was completely fulfilling on multiple levels I truly enjoyed being total woman with a man, and hope to try this again in the future.
You described me perfectly. As Amanda I am so ready to be with a man. I want to be the complete woman so that means having sex with a man. I want it so badly.
Amanda
Oh Amanda, I so can relate to what you are saying and feeling. I wanted the same things that you want. I kept procrastinating and didn’t act on my feelings and it was a big mistake. I was on vacation when I met a man who I was attracted to. I was far away from where anyone would know me so I decided to go for it. After deciding that this was the perfect time to let myself be a complete woman our relationship escalated and we slept together on the last night before I was leaving to go home. Amanda it was the highlight of my vacation. I was so glad that I let myself be the woman I wanted to be. Don’t procrastinate like I did. Find a man who you want to be with then be the woman who you want to be. You won’t be sorry..Do it and you’ll see what I mean
Jannie,
I am beyond jealous. I am beyond envious.
I am so ready to smell a man, to taste a man , to be with a man.
Amanda
Having a man standing behind you, his warm breath on his neck as he caresses and kisses it and then reaches down to lift your skirt…excuse me a moment, I need to go put on some pearls so that I can clutch them. It’s suddenly a bit warm up in here. 🙂
I’m a fan. Those of y’all who are interested should give it a try, it can be incredible. Make sure you are safe and with someone you trust, of course.
I am a heterosexual, male to female cross dresser. I think the situation can be complicated because of the intrinsic dual nature of the heterosexual male to female cross dresser. I talked this through with a lady friend of mine who provides support for cross dressers. The conversation went like this. When a man cross dresses he wants the result to be such that he/she appears as an attractive perhaps desirable woman. So when two heterosexual male cross dressers meet up en femme the ‘he’ in one may find the ‘she’ in the other attractive and desirable. And vice versa. So my friend and I decided that given this mutual attraction it was possible if not likely that given appropriate circumstances physical intimacy might well take place. I have wondered if this is why some SOs of heterosexual cross dressers are worried by their partner’s cross dressing?
Wow! It’s like you read my mind. I agree 100%. Thank you.
When dressed en femme, I feel only a little different about men. I am currently single and find myself attracted to men and women but have not had intimacy with a woman in many years. This may be odd but even when I am dressed I still revel in my husky, hairy masculinity.
I almost told my last girlfriend that I fantasized about having sex while both of us wore bras, garter belts and stockings. I was too afraid to speak my truth. That fantasy might return when I start dating women again.
The only time I feel a little feminine while dressed is in the man-to-man foreplay. I love the fantasy of a man rubbing over my dress and then slowly running his hands up my nylons and under my skirt. Over the years, I have dressed for three men and none of them have gotten the foreplay right.
I have never been with a fellow crossdresser. I am eager for the opportunity to see what happens.
Personally it doesn’t change for me, I’m bi and I’m just as attracted to men when I’m wearing women’s clothes than when I’m not
Although with the fairly frequent disclaimers that in make mode I consider myself 100% hetero and not attracted to men, I think that my desire to be with a man as michelle has evolved, especially in the recent past – to where I fantasize about it nearly all of the time and can’t stop thinking about it. It required a lot of self-awareness and self-acceptance. Now it feels good… it feels feminine and sexy and exciting to me just admitting that I want to relate to a man as his woman. I guess it would be quite an affirmation of my femininity to be able to entice a man, to flirt and maybe tease and seduce him, to feel (literally) his excitement growing, to know he wants me. And the nature of my sexuality has evolved – again in the recent past – to where I just cant function in the traditional male role. My sexuality has become much more receptive, and I dream of being made love to in that role. I have met, briefly, a nice man, he seems quite enamored by my femme persona, and I have been trying to get up the courage and try to meet with him now that the pandemic shutdown is easing up. It’s hard for me imagining the actual mechanics involved, but I’m so drawn to the romance of it, and of being in the role that seems natural to me. I also want to be wanted expressly for who I am, to know that a lover wants me because of who I am and not just tolerating or going along for my sake… which is more along my experiences being dressed with women lovers. Wish me luck, please. It’s about time.
no, i just am not attracted to men, it doesn’t matter what clothes i wear, whether it’s a t-shirt and jeans or dresses and makeup , i’ve known it since i was 4 that had a very strong attraction to girls/women, i have had men on flickr private messaging me to hookup with them, and i always tell them that i’m not interested, i just enjoy crossdressing as a stress release
Ditto! When I am out as regular me, I do not see men as sexual “objects”. On the other hand, when I am out as Jemma! Holy mackerel do the hormones kick in and suddenly I feel very sexy even sexual, especially when men notice me. I was shopping in an adult store out of town when a very attractive and dignified gentleman extended and invite to drinks and maybe a visit to his hotel room. I almost passed out, since I am not the prettiest girl in the world, and I am sure he knew what I am. I was too frightened to accept, and blushed, stammered an apology and practically ran out of the store! If I had it all to do over again…it was a nice hotel!
I voted yes because there was not a “Both” option. My desire to cross dress is to be perceived and accepted as a woman at that time. So far in my limited experience, I have gotten positive responses from both men and women and that pleases me. All of this is in the context of polite conversation with no sexual overtones.
I am basically not attracted to the male form. This is why I dress. To feel better about myself. I don’t feel attractive as a man. Nor do I want to be with one. But this has nothing to do with what is between the legs. Those parts don’t define who you are. I don’t have any experience outside of being with a CIS woman, but curiosity is going.
For me, no. When I’m Jessica I don’t really feel the need to be with a man. Though for me I guess it’s because since I do have a male side, and Jessica is an extension of that I have one already(well if that makes any sense).
But as far as like other men, No. I’m attracted to women both as my male self and as Jessica.
I’ve been a crossdresser ever since I was little growing up pretending to be a man I never found men sexually attractive but as I’m getting older I’m starting to find men sexually attractive I find myself looking between is legs to see if he’s well endowed the bigger his bulge is makes me all tingling inside. Now even when I’m pretending to be a man I don’t find women sexually attractive anymore. Whether I’m dressed as a man or woman I want to be with a hot stud. I think a man’s body is very sexy to touch and look at. I don’t want to look in the mirror and see a man’s body on myself. But I love seeing a man’s body laying next to me.
I answered no; but there are nuances that come into play even for heterosexual crossdressers. I personally don’t feel sexual attraction to guys whether I’m dressed or not; however I do sort of respond to attention from guys and may tend to flirt back (be a tease). Another interesting dynamic is the mostly passable girl. I would be sexually attracted to a well put together crossdresser or trans and I can’t say it wouldn’t go further if we were emotionally compatible.
It’s almost like a switch for me. When I’m not dressed, I feel no attraction whatsoever to men. But put on some lingerie and heels and it’s a different story….
They say that women dress to impress other women. That’s very evident when I read comments to posted pictures. I too will troll for complements if I can ever figure out the upload a photo link. BUT……. The attentions of a hot guy when dolled up are why I dress.
When I dress , I become a totally different person …. with a totally different mindset …. I have never been with a man … Not even the slightest attraction …. But when I dress , I want to be treated like a lady …. I’m afraid if I ever do sleep with a man , I’d want to become a woman permanently …..
I definitely get more “into it” in situations with guys when I’m dressed. In guy-mode, I would have no interest in kissing a guy or snuggling up close to one… but these things definitely happen when I’m in Vanessa mode.
Even then, though, there’s no actual attraction involved. I’ve never in my life felt attracted to a guy the way I frequently am to girls, and I can’t imagine ever having a boyfriend or anything along those lines. I just don’t form that sort of attachment to guys, regardless of what happens between us. The “activities” (whether it’s just them talking to me, showing interest, or taking me out on a date just like I was an actual woman, or something more physical) are what I enjoy when it comes to spending time with guys — it’s never really about the guy himself.
Same here. I’ve only been with men while I’m Kristen. I love every aspect. Him kissing me as soon as he sees me, and telling me how beautiful I look. Sitting on the couch with his arm around me, and my head on his shoulder. Him opening the door for me, or getting drinks for me. Then obviously the bedroom stuff is great. And cuddling after.
But once Kristen has left. I have no interest in men at all.
I answered no because there’s more to the question & more needs to be explained & talked about on this subject I am straight but,,, lately I have had some new & different kind of feelings going on,,, no not that I would want to go far/all the way so to speak with a man I,,, have a different feeling to want to be accepted as a woman/ receiving the attention that a woman gets from a man the old fashion opening a door for a lady & all that goes with that I,,, think? as far as I would go maybe, maybe a,,, kiss goodnight 🌙 along with the holding hands only while of course being Kara
The thing that strikes me is that the poll is relatively consistent with the results of similar polls. It is difficult to adequately discuss these similarities as those other polls tend to include terminology that I am reluctant to accept.
For example, the term, ‘homosexual’ seems, to me, to be irrelevant in terms of sexual attraction or orientation. Basically it assumes that one’s libido is activated by the other person’s sex. Ignores the fact that one ‘intuits’ the other person’s sex based on what our senses tell us. That it we are attracted to what we see, hear, smell, etc. regardless of whether the impressions created by by our senses are accurate or not in deciphering the sex of the other person. That is why, even if we think of ourselves as wholly ‘heterosexual’ we find males who are successfully feminized attractive. We find them attractive not because they are males but because they are feminine. It is the gender of the other person that creates the attraction and not the sex.
Now, sex between two males is, in fact, ‘homosexual’ sex, because that is what ‘homosexual’ means, any activity between persons of the same sex. But, as far a I am concerned, a singles tennis match between two males is ‘homosexual’. So is professional football. Lots of aggression, physicality and masculinity.
Sexual attraction is therefore stimulated by gender (femininity-masculinity) not by sex (female-male).
A male who is feminized (i.e., a cross-dresser) is likely to find themselves sexually attractive. As far as I can tell, that is one of the major, initial motives behind cross-dressing and is the result not only because of an attraction to femininity (i.e., to women) but due to a subliminal desire to be feminine.
If one is sexually aroused by femininity when they are feminine it often is not long before they consider the possibility of being the feminine-receptive partner in an intimate situation. One thing that is striking in the case of cross-dressers who consider such a possibility is that the degree that the other partner might be ‘handsome’ is not an issue. The two major issues are the virility/masculinity of the person and the respectful/genuine behaviour of the other person. There are hints that, fundamentally, the male partner is a stand-in for the cross-dresser’s masculine persona. Mind you, these factors can change and there are anecdotes of those who have had the opportunity to experiment finding their role as the woman to become enhanced and increasingly desirable and their affection for their male partner developing into genuine emotional attachment.
This is not to dismiss the truth that some males are genuinely males-seeking-males (I limit myself to the term, ‘gay’, although I would prefer something else.) It is generally assumed that such males seek masculine males and are attracted to masculinity. This has led to the assumption that males who feminize to specifically attract males do so only to be attractive to males-seeking-males. Actually they seem to more desire men-seeking women. There seems to be no consideration that such males are almost solely invariantly feminine, essentially full-time women and that they do not specifically seek males attracted to masculinity. It seems to me that the term ‘homosexual’ is too simplistic to describe such a situation. Similarly a male who seeks a feminine partner and is sufficiently secure in their own sexuality not to be limited by the other person’s sex cannot be adequately described as ‘homosexual’. The terms, ‘bisexual’ and ‘heterosexual’ seem to me to be also based on the assumption that one is attracted to sex and not to gender.
Consider this. If one to say that if a male is ‘heterosexual’, and it means that they are solely attracted to the OTHER (not the sexist ‘opposite’) sex then, if one is male, one is necessarily attracted to ALL females because it is the fact that the other person is female that creates the attraction. Obviously this is not true. One can easily think of many females who are not sexually attractive although many such females can (and do) feminize to a degree so as to create some sort of strange attraction. If it is true that a ‘heterosexual’ male is NOT necessarily attracted to ALL females then the fact that a person is female is NOT the basis of the attraction. They are actually gynecophilic (sexually attracted to femininity or women, not necessarily to females). It the gender of the other person, i.e., femininity, that defines the male’s sexual orientation. Remember that gender and sex are NOT equivalents. If they were the same then a male could NOT be feminine and we know males CAN be feminine therefore being male is not a barrier to being feminine.
It is estimated that about 9% of males are homosexual. In all probability about 9% of cross-dressers could be so considered as well. But these are possibly the males-seeking-males who a gender invariant feminine as above. I would assess their orientation somewhat differently from males-seeking-males based on masculinity although they also seek males who are masculine. Rather I would see them as women seeking men. A difficult and subtle distinction. A cross-dresser who is gender variant only would seek a masculine male when feminine. A feminine, gender invariant male would like seek a masculine male at all times.
Then there are (masculine, gender invariant) males-seeking-males who specifically seek feminine males. To me sexual orientation is far more complex than the simplistic heterosexual-bisexual-homosexual models allow for.
Basically, that two-thirds of crossdressers consider the possibility of sex with another male is a measure of their gender at any one time and not the sex of the other person. As is often reiterated in numerous anecdotes one is only ‘homosexual’ when ‘dressed’. So a consideration is that one’s sexual identity as the receptive or initiative (or feminine or masculine) partner in an intimate encounter is largely dictated by their gender at that time.
Oh dear! I have rambled on again and forgotten what point I wanted to make. I am so wooly-brained.
Araminta.
I have penis envy but not when dressed! Due to a genetic hormone screw up. I have had changes due to much greater estrogen and progesterone than normal males. I could stop testosterone shots and really go female which in time I will cut them back but I need muscle mass for my job. I have small but definitely breasts! I identify as a female from nipples to knees 100%. My goal is to be more feminine in all areas! My wife, best friend and lover in our romantic moments are 2 girls and we both love it! At times in the gym I have noticed larger ones and wondered how that would be to feel it but not make sex with it!
My wife put it best as we were discussing our fantasies one night! Our 2 common ones are another male or another female in bed with us! Since we have had these fantasies for 16 years and never acted on them we can share real feelings! How would I act mentally if she had a man in bed and I said fine since mine is small enough you use a female name for mine and I can’t do things he can! I think it would be normal for you to try that. Then she asked me what if I had another female and I told her, I would be very jealous and I would feel competition since I am your woman!
Its just interesting my true feelings on that! We both agreed neither would ever happen since our marriage is first and no complaints from each of us on sexual part!
My answer to this question has definitely changed over the years. When I was younger I would have given a very definite (near violent) “Hell No!” to the idea of being with a man, even when I’d spent rather a long time and no small amount of cash making myself as sexy and attractive as I could.
However, my attitudes have softened a lot over the years and, as I teeter on the edge of a complete life as Rachel, the thought of eventually giving myself to a man I find attractive doesn’t generate the same feelings inside me at all. Indeed, sitting here now, reading some of your stories, I feel rather excited by the thought that one day I might be the one being held and caressed.
It feels rather good to confess that
Rachel xx
Hi all, I’m a hetrosexual man. When I’m Ann I’m more attracted to women than men. I’d love to be with a woman when I’m dressed. Wow! Never spoken about this before!!!
I have spent many years complaining of toxic masculinity and equally as many years apologizing for my gender!
Because of this I have developed a certain degree of disdain towards other men. I have very few male friends and those I do have l like immensely. Have I a desire for male companionship when dressed? No! I like female company and feel very comfortable with other women.
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