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  • #708844
    Jackie Davis
    Registered On: May 9, 2022
    Topics: 4
    Replies: 48
    Has thanked: 118 times
    Been thanked: 253 times

    I’m an older guy with a wife who doesn’t know I occasionally dress and would completely freak out if she did. A year ago, my job changed and required me to work away from home in a rural area (west of Springfield, IL) during the week, so I have a little apartment where I stay. There, I can completely dress in the evening and become Jackie, complete with wig, makeup, and my best hip swiveling walk. 😉 I don’t go out dressed (nowhere to go) and it’s nearly impossible to find another CD in my area.

    I have to retire in April to help care for my wife. She is always around the house, making it impossible for me to keep anything there. It’s becoming clear that like Cinderella, I’m going to turn back into my old self in April and Jackie will be no more, and that makes me sad.  I find myself thinking about what I’d still like to do as Jackie, but between a rural location and a ticking clock, the sands of opportunity are slipping through my fingers.

    I don’t know there is a solution for me, but girls, enjoy your lives.


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  • Author
    • #709087
      Fiona-Ann Moss
      Registered On: October 7, 2018
      Topics: 390
      Replies: 1259
      Has thanked: 3814 times
      Been thanked: 4615 times

      Ooooh Jackie, i can well understand your situation and future thoughts. You know your wife better than anyone else so you must be pretty sure of the response you would receive if you came out to her. Its a difficult one because of your wifes health issues too and you certainly dont want to tip her over the edge. It seems obvious to me if you are home 24-7 that the oppurtunity to dress with your untold wife is nigh on impossible. Unless she knew, i can see no other option but to leave the house to maybe spend a night in a hotel or maybe you could get in contact with a group or friends reasonably near to where you are. You would be suprised at how many of us are out there and how many are quite close! Even if you treated yourself to an outing once a month, its better than nothing and it would give you something to look forward to. I really hope things turn out well for you Jackie.

      With Love, Fiona xx

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #709062
      Michelle McQueen
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 31
      Replies: 1809
      Has thanked: 12994 times
      Been thanked: 9078 times

      You said you retired to help care for your wife so I assume she is disabled in some way and you said “help” care for her so again I assume you have someone helping now. If all my assumptions are the case then you may not be able to dress as you did before but there will probably be times you can get away or at least some time to satisfy your needs. Don’t get depressed and think you can never express Jackie again because you will always be miserable and that will cause problems.

    • #708887
      Trish White
      Registered On: December 2, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 484
      Has thanked: 3128 times
      Been thanked: 2086 times

      Hi Jackie, I know what you’re going through girl. The same thing happened to me when my wife retired. All of a sudden she was around 24/7. She was ( key word) totally against my crossdressing even though I had come out to her before we were married.

      So we sat down and talked about what we were going to do. She said well since you dressed up when you went to Vancouver on business trips why don’t you go again and find some friends there. So that’s what I did. I joined two CD social groups and have been to two events already.And a three day gathering in Kelowna is coming up in April. So my advice to you is have the talk with your wife about your crossdressing. Also I would strongly suggest you google Kandi’s Land and find an old post titled ‘A letter to the wives of crossdressers’. If you can’t find it you could message me your e-mail and I can send it to you.
      I follow Kandi and had her send it to me and gave it to my wife to read and since then she is becoming more and more accepting of my cross dressing.

      good luck girl,

      Trish ❤️

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #708879
      Jennifer Lynn
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 326
      Has thanked: 137 times
      Been thanked: 1866 times

      My expiration date is when i breathe my last.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #708874
      Marlene Roberts
      Registered On: December 9, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 287
      Has thanked: 4082 times
      Been thanked: 751 times

      Hi, Jackie, I sympathize for your situation. Very difficult.

      Have you tried broaching “the talk”? Maybe your SO is not as adverse as you think; you won’t know until you test the waters. Try small. like wearing panties instead of male drab, explaining that panties are so much more comfortable; they are!

      Then small steps. Wishing you a smooth journey. Best, Marlene.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #708876
        Jackie Davis
        Registered On: May 9, 2022
        Topics: 4
        Replies: 48
        Has thanked: 118 times
        Been thanked: 253 times

        My so has trouble understanding things she hasn’t experienced personally, and she sees things very black and white. She can’t understand why anyone would be attracted to crossdressing or a trans lifestyle – because she isn’t.  Heck, I think she worried when I bought colored briefs – lol.  She’s a wonderful mom and grandmother, just not some who would understand this.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #708873
      Darlene Hollis
      Registered On: January 18, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 29
      Has thanked: 17 times
      Been thanked: 146 times

      I was in a similar situation where I was maintaining a separate residence for work.  I changed jobs and no longer required the 2nd residence.  A full purge went with that.  That lasted about 6 months, and then I couldn’t resist the urge to replace bras, forms and some nighties.  I still travel some for work, so I sleep somewhat in girl mode when traveling.  But I’m missing the full wardrobe, wig, makeup experience.  My SO would not be understanding, so I keep my collection small to where it’s manageable to keep private.  I will be retiring in a couple of years, so have the type of looming expiration date.  My only advice would be don’t purge if you can store somewhere safe,  then as your new routine develops, you might be able to find some girl time.


      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #708869
      Clarissa Cross
      Registered On: July 17, 2021
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 161
      Has thanked: 1205 times
      Been thanked: 659 times

      Sorry for your situation, that must be awful for you, hope you will find a solution

      5 users thanked author for this post.
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