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Hi Jennifer , I’m gender fluid & for the most part I’m usually balanced by both genders , but I do have periods ( lasting from a few minutes to hours ) where I’m totally female. These are the most emotionally draining times but fortunately I’ve a fantastic wife who understands/ supports me/ us.
This question relies on the presumption that sex and gender are not synonymous (which necessarily makes gender a subjective trait). That viewpoint will be widely disputed outside the CD community – but since we are “insiders”, here goes:
I chose 80/20; 80 because my anatomy and sexual orientation agree. Happy with 1 woman for 1 lifetime, and no second thoughts. 20 because I never “fit” into male social norms, I have much too much empathy for small animals and children, and I do let my emotions overrule my logic too often. And then there is my fascination with dressing. Maybe I should have listed 65/35. I’m lost when I can’t measure things quantitatively.
I find myself on the 42.17/57.83 range 😉
Gabriela,
Don’t beat around the bush, girl; can’t you be more specific? 🙂
Ok after my “smarty” answer, something a bit more serious.
If the idea is to quantify “masculinity/femininity”, most people will be inclined to answer highly on “female”, being that this is a CD related site. But then again… how can you determine what is feminine and what is masculine in an accurate way? It would depend a lot on the social construct of what are “masculine/feminine” behaviors and activities. And is it really tied up to the male/female persona?
So, if I say that I’m loving, caring, nurturing, etc, those are not exclusive to females, as much of being assertive, decisive, strong, etc are not exclusive to men. Or liking bright colors or knitting or cooking or doing laundry vs fixing engines or playing sports.
At the end, as a crossdresser I can say that while biologically a male, I have lots of what society calls feminine attributes, and I have a need to express parts of my personality presenting as a woman.
Percentages? Meh… not really important, only for the anecdote.
Hi Gabriela ,
Love your second last paragraph 😊
Gabriela,
I was trying to express the same ideas as in your reply, but since the question was posed in statistics mode, I answered the same. Your reply was the better for avoiding the “trap”.
Bettylou
I said, 60 female/40 male. It would be more accurate to say 50/50. I’d say my hope is to try and find a balance with both the masculine and feminine sides of my personality.
I am one of the two, at the time of this writing, that voted 100%. This is because I’m trans, from birth and not man-made and not with HRT ….et al. I’ve been leading the life of a female model for so very long (and makeup and makeover artist, internationally), and wearing heels ONLY (usually Goth boots of some flavour), that I’ve kind of forgotten how to act to be “male” anymore. While many are working with adapting to the femme side, I’m on the other side of that fence. I’d have to practice my hiney off to pull off being a convincing male, as I am ‘very’ effeminate(sp?), yet not what I called a “screaming sissyboy” or anything of the like. I am who I am! (one last change (genitals) ….would NOT make me a woman either). That’s another “Magic of Makeup” (per se)? ha!
I pray this is ‘chill’ with everyone….
Today Im 60 40 M to F. tomorrow who knows. Its fluid.
What can I say…Im noncommital.
Wow,
I answered 0% female. Although I love dressing up I have like no “girly” in me. I love working in the yard and on cars. I have no interest as living as a woman. The only feminine thing I love doing is shopping. I can literally look at womens clothes all day. I am both attracted to and want to emulate the models wearing them. Weird stuff I know.
Hermoine,
We are all weird, in one way or another. As a guy, I found shopping a chore to do only when necessary. Then when my daughters became teens, I started shopping for them and their mom when on deployments – and liking it. Now, I shop for me in the women’s shops, and it’s almost an addiction. I don’t wish to be a woman, either – but my dream is to be passable as one.
I said 40% female.
I know I’m a man, I just don’t identify with most men I’ve met. Actually, I find maleness repulsive.
It’s the reverse with women. I find feminist very attractive, and always find something beautiful in a woman, no matter what her appearance.
But I cannot change the fact I know I’m a man any more than I can change the fact that I love to dress as a woman.
I don’t feel like a man when dressed, but gender is not important to me. It doesn’t define who I am.
I went for sixty per cent female and forty per cent male.Mainly because I spend about four or five days a week dressed enfemme at home.I have had feminine feelings all my life.I spent most of my childhood and adoscelence wishing that I had been female even though as far as I am aware I am not trangendered.In public I present myself as a male without any problems and if I am honest I am not unhappy with that.I am not a typical alpha male I have to say I have never been very sporty.A lot of people who know me are well aware of my sensitive nature but I don’t think anyone regards me as effeminate.My voice is quite masculine.I am very sensitive to a woman’s feelings.It’s probably not surprising given that I am a crossdresser.If however there was such a thing as reincarnation I would come back as a female even though it’s definitely not all honey.I definitely wouldn’t relish periods and pre menstrual tension.My wife suffered from it terribly before she had a hystorectomy and I can vouch for the fact that it is no joke.
Hi Jennifer, Interesting and thought provoking question – I think emotionally I am 80% female and physically I am 60% male – 40% female is a lot. I get the occasional funny look and giggle as a male – sometimes I really like that sometimes it’s a bit embarrassing. When I fully commit to presenting as a female I seem to be accepted quite well and really enjoy that. Starting to enjoy giving femme hints in male mode is fun. Have enjoyed reading the other girls comments on this, I agree with everyone.
Hugs Christina xx
Thanks to everyone for such varied and deep responses. I asked the question of gender identity because I think it both strikes at the heart of our identity while blowing up the whole concept of identity. I love all you gurls and thank you for taking us on this incredible journey together. Love Hugs and Admiration, Jennifer
Oh I’m definitely male by birth and don’t try to be anything else. I was once able to hide my true sex when I was younger. Today I don’t personally believe I’m passable even when I’m not in drag. Don’t get me wrong I adore being different. I don’t own one single shred of male clothing, not even a pair of jeans. I do sleep with the same sex and never have with the opposite. Some ask why don’t I begin hormones and lean towards becoming a woman? Answer; I don’t want to be a woman or transgender. I love me for who I am, end of question.
Although born a male, I have always felt a strong female side to me.
As I get older, is just gets stronger.
My dream would be to get my body sculptured into a hot female and a complete make over to see how hot I could be.
Excellent question, that required a bit of thought. Since retiring (a week ago) I have fully dressed everyday, only changing when I get the text from my wife “ on my way home”. Currently sitting on my back deck deck sipping a beer fully engulfed in all that is Emily. It’s a lipstick on the rim of the glass kinda day. All that being said, I believe I come in the 80/0 category. Mostly because even when I’m not dressed, I’m thinking about being dressed, checking out other women’s outfits, or in the very least, under dressing. I have also changed my walk and most mannerisms to reflect Emily more than her male counterpart. I do still enjoy the occasional cigar, albeit now they most often have a bit of red lipstick on them. 💄👄
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I try to be Rozalyne as much as possible but sometimes it is hard to get the chance, the older I get the more my feminine side shows itself, I’m not sure if it’s to late to transition as I’m 66 but is it never to late to start the process xxxxx</p>
I voted 40F/60M. I live my home and work life as a male, but I have a female spirit that I prefer more. I’ve been incorporating some feminine traits into my male life; Full body shaving, longer finger nails, and painted toe nails. At home I can only underdress and fully fem dress when I’m alone. When I dress en fem for my CD/TG support group meetings, I feel and act 100% female, but present 90F/10M. The lack of make-up skills and a feminine voice are the only things preventing me from presenting as 100% female. I’m currently working on my voice and want to start make-up in the near future.
picked 80% female/20% male, but I think its closer to 95%/5%. I live every moment possible as Paula, but he ‘has’ to be around some too. Fortunately that is not very often, and as I’ve aged, it is less and less that ‘he’ has to come around. Mentally, there is only a slim, micro part that remains male, and I do so prefer how I think and do things after I watch men do the exact same tasks and jobs. To be truthfull, I never felt that I was ever much male in my life at all.
I love this analysis and I must say I feel much the same way. When I am Annie I am 100% female. I try not to let any maleness in and experience the pure joy of femininity and womanhood. You have described my feeling better than I could have put into words. Hugs. Annie
Stephanie, you spoke volumes in a few words. “ I think our gender is more spiritual and is outside of our physical form. Is the body just a shell that our soul inhabits?”
I don’t believe there are genders in the life of the soul. I think each of us is a unique life that struts and frets and then is no more. I think our purpose is to love and serve one another.
Thank you and hugs
Jennifer
Stephanie,
Lots of food for thought in that post. Sex is defined by your (visible) body, gender is defined by your (invisible) mind, and the latter is rarely, if ever, 100% either. Makes sense to me. I know I never “fit” into the male role model, and my brain isn’t “wired” to fit properly into the female model, either. Is it a blend, or is there something else? Sometimes I think I’m 35% male, 35% female and the rest space alien. Forgive me for rambling.
Bettylou
Mine as well….
Do you have a link?
I tried searching, but got a whole heap of results!
I do not know what type of man I am – that’s been a constant feature throughout my life. Not the various images I’ve tried to construct, that’s for sure.
But, since letting Laura loose, that’s almost become a non-issue. A man can be whoever and whatever he wants to be – whatever he likes. That’s the point of being alive, as far as I can see!
Laura has become my raison d’etre.
I am my wife’s husband, and I am also a Karma Chameleon. As the moment suits, that is where I want to be.
I want more Laura time – we all want something more than we have, and that’s important. Jam tomorrow is a vital part of the drive for improvement, to make life better.
To have everything you want, to be satiated is probably not possible, and would only create a hole that needs to be filled.
Like my clothing drawers.
I’ve laundered and bagged up my summer dresses and put them in a cupboard for next year. Must resist the temptation to fill the drawers with winter items. Not going well so far…
Love Laura
Bobbi,
That description works for me, also, except I drink non-alcoholic “beer”. Can’t help but notice it doesn’t “fit” me as a hetero male, married and with no interest in transitioning. I envy you, just a little bit.
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