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Hi ladies,
I’m new and I am noticing this group has 457 members but I only see three posts, and the most recent one is 3 years ago? I’m also new at navigating so maybe I missed something.
Anyway, I was curious, since I was talking to my therapist (who is the only other person besides my wife who knows I crossdress), how many of you have a therapist who you talk to about crossdressing? And what about for couples?
Sincerely
Evie
Hi Evie.
I have a therapist with whom I talk about my crossdressing and life in general. I have attended therapy four times presenting as a woman actually.
I don’t see her for any particular reason or with an specific goal. I’m very much at peace with myself, I don’t plan on transitioning, I’m not depressed or angry. I just enjoy the conversation with her. 🙂
I’ve seen a therapist to address deep depression following a divorce. My cross dressing came up (after trying to avoid the topic for three sessions). I was so filled with shame that I could barely say the words, but my psychologist simply smiled and remarked, “It’s not a crime you know.” I really wasn’t very cooperative or fully honest even with my psychologist… I was afraid of admitting that I really wanted to dress and experience life as a woman. I regret not taking advantage of the freedom to speak and possibly explore this part of myself with professional help.
Kim, don’ be afraid to fully come out to your therapist. They may be able to help you being comfortable as Kim and expressing your true feminine self.
. CassieCassie, my time in therapy was close to a quarter century ago. I did benefit from other aspects of therapy, but I missed the opportunity to be fully honest about my cross dressing and gender identity. Even looking back at that time and the things my therapist was trying to help me accept does today lend some beneficial perspective.
I realize for most of my life I have lived in fear of being Trans. But I assumed being trans was one thing…full transition into life as a woman, complete with HRT and GRS. Given my age, stature, family considerations and lingering doubts, I have come to understand I can live my life based on what works for me. Although I hate the expression “living my truth”, I am. In my case, the truth is ambiguous, and that is ok too.
Went to counseling just before and during Covid “PANDAMNIT”. Single and couples. Both helpful, also attended both in Gimger mode occasionally. No longer seing Counselor, but wife seeing own still.
Hi Evie, I don’t have a therapist, the only people i talk to about my crossdressing life are the girls on here, I’m in the closet to my wife so i can’t talk to her about it, she has said on many times she doesn’t understand why some men want to dress up like women so i don’t think it would be wise to come out to her, I’m just a crossdresser and I’m not sure about transitioning i think I’m a bit too old to think about taking that step X
Hugs Rozalyn X
Evie, go to a therapist and open up to all you are feeling. I went to a therapist a few times, but for me I am comfortable where I am. All mt counseling now is here at CDH and sharing with all you wonderful girls.
. Cassie
I have a lot of respect for the profession but never made use of it. I was threatened with needing one when my mom caught me as a young teen. Maybe that’s given me the mindset that I’d be admitting being sick if I went. I think it’s like anything else in life, if you’re not coping, not adjusting, not able to live happily then there’s something there that you can explore in therapy.
I should add that my 1960s mom changed and grew in understanding along with the bulk of leading edge Liberal America, not that I came out to her.
Evie,
I have never considered going to therapy. I have always been excited about dressing since really young (3 year old). I ‘knew’ I needed to hid when I got older, and from 7 to 28 that is exactly what I did. But it never felt wrong for me, only that I knew others would not accept it, and see me an odd.At 28 my wife found out and since then I have had the opportunity to dress at home full time and to underdress the rest of the time (my wife has been very tolerant and accepting).
But Ive never felt that there was something wrong with me. I don’t think that I need therapy, but I do think the rest of society does!
🙂
Hugs
ChristineI have been in several group therapy settings all sponsored by LBGT. I found it much more helpful sharing with other cds than even the therapist who is supportive. The best thing about group sessions is that you make friends to do things with in the community. We have all met up for dinners and outings to events together outside of the sessions. This is my recommendation for what its worth
A good therapist and a supportive network of other cds helps a lot, especially now with the growing negative attention out there. It helps with accepting ourselves, which I think is key.
When I lived on the west coast I worked with a therapist for many years. I was hiding it and didn’t dress a lot so it wasn’t the main focus of our work but it helped to have someone tell me that it wasn’t wrong.
After relocating to the east coast we continued to keep in touch and do remote sessions. He has known me for more than 30 years. After I didn’t have to hide anymore, I sent him a makeover photo from an email address he would recognize with just “guess who.” He didn’t recognize me! We had a good laugh about it.
On a future west coast visit we plan on doing some sessions en femme, should be interesting!
Bottom line, therapy is helpful. One thing, though, is I’ve found that having occasional couples sessions with your individual therapist can help explain things to your SO because they know you, but since that’s your therapist, your SO can start to feel like it’s two against one, so it’s something to have conversations about.
I’ve been 3 different times to see a therapist and told everyone of them about my crossdressing. That was the main reason the second 2 times I went ( one was telephone due to Covid ) . All were very good and very encouraging about the subject. My last one told me I should dress more , come out to more people and don’t try to suppress it. After letting her know I did let more people know who happened to be all female she suggested I try telling a close male friend which I’ve yet to do. She helped me accept myself which did make it easier to come out to others.
Evie,
I have been in therapy off and on since COVID when I came out to my wife and realized I was truly transgender. I found an awesome therapist from BetterHelp, they are $300 per month and great. She has since gone on her own and I pay her $30 a visit FaceTime. She is wonderful and I talk to her about most things TG/CD related.
Hang in there and get you a good girlfriend from this site. You need that to keep your sanity.
Hugs,
HopeI’ve been seeing a therapist for about 6 months and shes helped me with a lot. I started embracing my interest in dressing a couple years ago but I’ve had questions regarding my gender identity and sexual interests. I’m still working to not fall into old patterns of behavior, but with the help of my therapist I’ve begun to accept myself as someone who is gender fluid and I’ve even come out to a family member. My wife has known for a few years and is accepting. She hasn’t been involved in any therapy sessions but she does come up in our talks quite a bit.
Hey, Evie.
I would most strongly recommend all of us, CD or TG, find an experienced gender therapist. Some of us need help sorting through issues, some of us need an outside (ourselves) sounding board.I am a physician with a fair sized practice of both CD and TG patients whom I treat with hormone therapy. And I’m TG on hormones myself. I wouldn’t have given a moment’s thought to doing this without a therapist! While I have 66 years experience living with testosterone, I had none with estrogen prior to initiating hormone treatment myself.
Yes, my wife has one too, and we do couples work also. Our lives are so precious, and they are so important as not to make (any more than necessary!) avoidable errors.
Anyway, welcome! Personally, I have learned much from the really smart ladies here. I sincerely wish you the same.
Dee
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