Mens room or ladies room

Use Mens or womens bathroom if unisex not available

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  • #153119
    casey Hermoine
    Registered On: March 16, 2018
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    So I was in a store the other night and had to go to the bathroom.  It was only my third time to be out other than walks.  I felt like I was passing pretty well and had not had any odd looks so decided to use the ladies room. There were not many people there and I scoped it out and found it to be empty. So I took care of business, of course sitting down in case someone came in.  Everything went fine and i proceeded to shop.

    I told a gg friend of mine that is very supportive and she said she would beat the crap out of me if she suspected I was a man in the ladies room especially if she had her young daughter with her.

    Did I do the wrong thing?

    Note: There was not a unisex available.

    Would love to hear others thoughts!

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    • #403982
      Rayna Carlian
      Registered On: March 4, 2020
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      I was lucky that my wife went with me(2 girls going to the bathroom, cliche’). But we went to the ladies, got in, did what was needed, washed hands and left. No fuss, nothing.

      I honestly kept my gaze down since I was standing about 6’3″ in my heels. I just wanted to draw as little attention as possible.


    • #339741
      Deborah Sullivan
      Registered On: February 27, 2020
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      Whenever en femme I use the ladies bathroom and not had any problems. I just go in with confidence like its no big thing. I will arrange my makeup at the mirror if no one else is standing there

    • #199800
      Rachel Plain
      Registered On: July 4, 2016
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      Like others, I use the Ladies if I’m en femme, and the Men’s if not. I have almost certainly been read whilst en femme. But I have never had an issue. And I regularly use large, busy facilities in shopping centres and railway stations. Even stop to tidy up my hair and makeup sometimes as well.

      If I’m at a cosplay event, where I can afford to be flexible about what gender I’m presenting, in which case I will exploit the situation and use whichever loo has the shortest queue 🙂

      (An aside: One railway station in the centre of Sydney has loos that consist of a series of single cubicle opening into the concourse. Those of one side of the concourse are Ladies. Those of the other are Men’s. One day I was visiting Sydney with my wife. I was in male mode. I went to the loo there; none of the other Men’s cubicles were in use. I came out to find my wife still queuing for one of the Ladies’ cubicles. So I waved her over, and she used one of the number of available Men’s facilities. As we can all attest by our being here today, the world didn’t end!)

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    • #199560
      K Swim
      Registered On: July 8, 2019
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      I don’t dress in front of an audience, so I must use the men’s bathroom. But when I am alone at the lake, however, I don’t have to make that choice when NEITHER exists.

    • #199530
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      No way would I visit the men’s in a dress!

      Love Laura

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      • #246403
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        Laura, neither would I; that would be asking for trouble. Fortunately, single-use, or “family” bathrooms are becoming common in public places.

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    • #173377
      Simone C
      Registered On: January 23, 2019
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      Man mode, male. Femme mode, female.

      I am conscious men make a different sound peeing than women so maybe flush to cover the sound in the ladies room.

    • #153228
      Mary Summers
      Registered On: October 28, 2018
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      I try to avoid the ladies room if at all possible but sometimes it isn’t. I have never been confronted by another lady, but I never look at them, do my thing, and leave. Once I was in VA and a male cleaning person came in never announcing he was there. Another lady in the room alerted others he was there by starting a conversation so the everyone would know a male was there by hearing his voice. Clever.

      A gg friend once had a conversation with me about a ladies room and how she thought it was terrible to have men going into there restroom. I told her they needed to have unisex restrooms and that stopped the conversation.

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    • #153217
      Dame Veronica Graunwolf
      Registered On: May 8, 2017
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      When in male attire……mens. When en femme……womans.

      Dame Veronica

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    • #153212
      Jennifer Green
      Registered On: October 24, 2016
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      I think you would get beat up if you used the men’s room. Yes I always use the women’s restroom if I am dressed up. I do my thing, wash my hands, check my makeup and move on. I don’t lolly gag around in there. In Colorado and many other states, you are allowed to use the bathroom you associate yourself with.

      Your friend, no offense, is the type of person that drives me nuts. We are not perverts, we are not checking out kids in the bathroom or trying to do wrong things to anyone. To me it is such a ill sided manor to think of cross-dressers, trans, etc as this type of person

    • #153206
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
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      Casey, I don’t think what you did was wrong.  Beating the crap out of someone for simply using the restroom seems questionable though.  Anyway I just try to side-step the scenario by seeing that the restroom is empty if at all possible.

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    • #153197
      Caty Ryan
      Registered On: August 27, 2017
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      I dont get to go out much as Caty and yes I’d always use the ladies. The best way to train yourself to “do the right sitting thing” whilst in there, is to do so ALL the time.

      I’ve done that now and its just second nature….And of course I put the cover back on the seat too!!!! Could never understand why females think this is so important!!.

      Also when in drab, a/.  I try to remember to practice getting in and out of my car as if I’m a skirt or dress. Posterior on seat first, then demurely??!!! swing my legs into the car and b/. even tho I’m wearing man shoes, I try to practice the female walk in heels. Small steps one foot slightly in front of the other!!



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    • #153179
      Registered On: May 20, 2017
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      When out en femme I always choose the women’s unless unisex bathrooms are available.

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    • #153172
      Kaarina silberg
      Registered On: February 2, 2019
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      Sister,you did not  a wrong thing.Woman goes to ladies room,i would do so



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    • #153162
      Deanna Lowe
      Registered On: August 30, 2018
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      I think you did what you had to do but some locales have misdemeanor laws concerning concealing ones identity so you have to check. Crossdressing is considered concealing ones  identity.

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      • #173336
        Sophie Valcar
        Registered On: March 25, 2019
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        l think this is  hard sup ject  l meen what do you wait till you get home, do you make sure you have been before you go out, l feel maybe there should be a very good guideline for us all to know ,and there should be more shared toilet.

      • #153240
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        In Virginia it is a class 6 felony to “conceal his identity, wear any mask, hood or other device whereby a substantial portion of the face is hidden or covered so as to conceal the identity of the wearer, to be or appear in any public place”

    • #153147
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      I’m basically in agreement with T.J. And Anne. If you are presenting as a woman, use the ladies room.

      However, depending on the circumstances I may decide to hold on until back home.

      Yes, being “passable” would make a difference. But even those who may consider themselves to be “totally passable” are read at times. And there are places where it would be more acceptable than others. So, like Anne said, I would also avoid confrontation as much as possible. Heck, more than once there have been cases of cis-females confronted by other women who thought they were transgendered! Confrontation can end badly for us, in particular if you have to call some friend or relative who doesn’t know about your gender issues so they can bail you out… we have rights, but we have a lot to lose too, in many cases.

      Gaby 💜

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    • #153122
      Anne Preuss
      Registered On: December 13, 2018
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      Addendum to Casey’s post….I do NOT think you did the wrong thing.  You checked the bathroom and found it to be empty.  My past experiences have been with Unisex bathrooms but if in a similar situation as Casey (and there were children in there), I would leave the bathroom and return when the children have exited so as to avoid any potential confrontation with an adult(s).   I know some people will say “you have a right” but my philosophy is to avoid confrontation when possible.  Things only get messier when a situation escalates.   After all, isn’t it about blending in?   And yes, ladies, when using the womens bathroom, ALWAYS SIT DOWN.

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