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I’ve been a crossdresser for a long time, and one day I asked myself a question. It seemed like a silly question at the time, but I found myself in a conflict in trying to answer it. I actually had to think about it for a long time. The question I asked myself was: If I could live my life over and could choose living as I am now living it or as a straight male as I was meant to be, which would I choose? You might feel that I should have added the choice of a straight female. Since I’m a male and a transvestite M to F and not a female, I didn’t add that choice. I want to know which out of the two that I am now I would choose. My male side answered the question as a straight male and for good reasons. For most of my life I’ve live alone. When I was a young transvestite, most transvestites hid in the closet as I did. My need to be feminine prevented me from having children. Yes, I was married, but I married at a late age and having children at such a late age didn’t seem like a good idea. My feminine side, Edie, answered the question to live the life I am now living. I enjoy being feminine. I love wearing sexy dresses, spike heels, lovely wigs and makeup. In the end, I couldn’t answer the question. I’m now going to ask you girls the same question. If you could live my life over and could choose living as you are now living it or as a straight male as you were meant to be, which would you choose? Again, I’m not giving you a choice as a straight female. As far as I know, none of you are an actual female.
I would choose to live like I am, only I would live as a woman full time, and I would never look back .
I would live as i am now although i wouldn’t be in the closet i would tell the world and his dog this is me I’m a cross-dresser except it, i would wear my clothes with pride and embrace my feminine side wholeheartedly xxxxx
That is an interesting question, Edie. I had to read your prompt several times before I was clear about what you were asking. Given the choice, I would live as I do know. I am who I am and I don’t want that to change. Since I embraced my femininity a few years ago after resisting for so many years, I have had only one regret. That was not being honest as a teenager when I was outed. I have often wondered how my experiences would have been different had I elected to be honest with my parents and myself instead of burying my feelings for nearly twenty years.
MacKenzie Alexandra
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Knowing what I know now includes the two beautiful children I love and the wife I love so could I sacrifice them for myself? Loving husband and father, no; selfish me yes. Wow this tough! I have realized as I have grown older I am definitely more tg than cd and I know I would be personally happier if I were to live that life and my wife would probably have been happier with a better “man”. BUT: I love my children enough I could not knowingly choose to erase them so I would suffer through life never being who I truly wanted again. That said I would definitely be out and not deny who I am and would make many changes to help myself and wife with a much better life understanding what we really were dealing with.
🍷C
I’m going with Rochelle. I would live as I am now but I would fully transition to be a woman. I figure my psychy is about 80% female and 20% male so this would be the logical way for me to go with no regrets.
I’m going with Karley, living as a male, young, very passable with the mind and insight that I have now without the roller coaster cycles of purging, guilt and self hate. I would love my two selves and not be in the closet. I would also learn self defense both verbal and physical to be able to stand up for myself. As for my SO, I would love her to be my SO or a very intimate best friend without any secrets of who I am. We have no kids, so no problem there. Dogs yes, and they do not care about any of this.
I have enjoyed my journey a lot. I don’t have children but I am married to the love of my life. I wouldn’t want to sacrifice that in the least. I also wonder what it would have been like to have not hid for so many years. Then again if I had been out as a younger person I’m pretty sure (knowing my personality) I would have ended up living full time as Jessica and still changing my own oil, building camper-vans, and working on my house.
I would chose to be what I am now, a male who likes to cross dress. Although I do cross dress more and more I have truly enjoyed my male life to this point. I have great grown up children and a wife I love dearly. She accepts this side of me so I have the best of both worlds. The cross dressing side may have been at least partially responsible for a divorce from my first wife.
I would choose to live as a transvestite . I did marry, I do have children. I feel the ‘real me’ when I am dressed. I am so relaxed, so comfortable , I would not wish to hide it anymore. I would love the fact that getting home and being able to cross over is the over ridding factor for me, in regards to the question. I thought about it a lot myself actually. 😊xx
Tbh for my part there was a choice until I was 16 and then there wasnt any more..I believe even if I chose male I would have found my femme anyway. perhaps i also never considered it a choice? I never really thought of it that way. Anywhoo I do believe I was and am too open minded to say I would stay on the male path. Stylish females turn my head every day as do gorgeous makeup applications. Not sure this is a conscious decision or years of habit but idk if I would feel connected if things were different.
That is a tough question! When not in femme mode, I play the straight male. I like my male body, doing guy things, etc. But then I see a gorgeous woman and I wish that I could be like her…her hair, clothes, body. Oh how I yearn to have a female body. When I get all dolled up, I feel sexy but I’m still a man! If I had the choice, it would be difficult. It would be nice to have a “switch” for man/woman. I’ve never been a woman but I want to know what it’s like to have all the parts because I admire the lady parts. I am a male and at times I like being a man. No matter how hard I try (tucking, makeup, clothes) to be a woman, I’m still stuck with my male body. Who knows, maybe being a full blown woman wouldn’t be all I dreamed about!!!
So in the meantime, I try to make the best out of my situation.
This is probably the most difficult question I’ve had to answer in decades. But after a few seconds of serious thought it becomes easy. I would not change a thing. Born in 60 makes it easy, having two awesome children makes it the easiest. I would not give up anything or change anything in my life because A) it made me who I am as a male. B) I would not have had two awesome children, grownup. C) I would never have met my current wife who has embraced who I am. D) this is outside of your question but my personal truth – I am a female trapped in a male body and have been since birth. Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗
Danielle💋👠
This is probably the most difficult question I’ve had to answer in decades. But after a few seconds of serious thought it becomes easy. I would not change a thing. Born in 60 makes it easy, having two awesome children makes it the easiest. I would not give up anything or change anything in my life, so be a male is my answer, because A) it made me who I am as a male even though I’m truly female inside. B) I would not have had two awesome children, grownup now. C) I would never have met my current wife who has embraced who I am. D) this is outside of your question but my personal truth – I am a female trapped in a male body and have been since birth. Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗
Danielle💋👠
It would be nice to go back and remove all that fear and secrecy I went through, and found a lot more time to have dressed and found joy in doing so. But As Karley pointed out the timeframe makes a difference. If I was a child today I suspect I would have told my parents how I felt and could have ended up visiting the gender identity clinic. Where that would lead to is hard to tell.
In the present I am now content to be how I am. I try not to look back and think “if only…” as it doesn’t achieve anything. Much better to concentrate on “what’s next…” But to answer your question Edie, I’d take the same path (a MTF CD) but be much more confident about it and my individuality in general.
Edie, thanks for a great question! And I think I would choose to have spent more time as Michelle than holding her in for so long. The one drawback, possibly not meeting my wife who has been my rock for such a long time, though knowing now what I know about her, she probably would have accepted it. – hugs, Michelle
I don’t think I would change a thing. My wife and I raised three children into responsible adults with college degrees, no arrests, no substance abuse issues and no pregnancies. Had I rescinded my male personality during the children’s formative years, it would no doubt have had a negative impact on them. And when my wife got sick, she needed me as a man to be the rock in her life until she was no longer able to live at home. Here we are in 2018. All the kids have moved out, the Mrs. is in a safe place where she gets 24 hour care, and I have the home to myself. Now is the appropriate time for me to finally relinquish the title of “man of the house” and fully accept the feminine side of me that has been crying to be set free for so many years. And I’ve never been happier.
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