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    • #6439
      Vanessa Law
      Managing Ambassador

      Megan left me a lovely note this evening, that got me thinking how much more we are than the label ‘transgender’ or ‘crossdresser’.

      We are doctors and painters and engineers. Mothers and daughters, lovers and confidants.

      We are people, some trapped in the wrong body longing to get out, others with a duality that brings them joy.

      We have fears, and triumphs. We experience love and loss. We hope, we dream. We are human.

      Who are you, when your identity is not confined to be transgender?

    • #34184

      First and foremost, I am a husband and father.  I’m retired from a career in information technology (data storage and data analysis) working as a government contractor (space and agriculture).  I’m a leader in my local church teaching adult Sunday School,  serving at times as a worship leader, and volunteering with the churches outreach to the homeless.  I’m an egghead/bookworm with a love of religious history and development, philosophy (especially that of mathematics and science), cyclist, tennis player, and lover of the weird and exotic.  The last one gets expressed in listening to music most people hate, watching movies that get limited viewing because they are weird, and reading fiction that blends reality with unreality (which is different from fantasy).

      • #201342


        My resume` is much like yours, except my career field was military, followed by 14 years as a volunteer Paramedic/Firefighter.  I love to read real books, mostly sci-fi/fantasy and view the same on TV.   I’m addicted to Dixieland Jazz (with a record collection to prove it)  I play the Alto sax (badly), and for years have described myself as “the last Jazz Baby”.

        Bettylou and my other self would not recognize one another, but for one shared passion: Small animal rescue, mostly rabbits.

    • #35837

      I am an executive with a global company, husband, father, and ex-military.
      I am a golfer, avid gardner, and most importantly, a T-girl!
      Hugs and kisses, Angela

    • #35845

      I’m a husband to a wife who I love more than anything, father to 2 wonderful daughters, son, brother, friend to a close circle of friends.  Former jock (college rugby), business executive that escaped the rat race and now owns a manufacturing company.  Most importantly I’m me, after a life long journey to figure out what and who that is.

    • #36790

      A husband, father with a daughter in college and a son in high school. Currently, I am a member of my local planning board and the at home parent, though that role is diminishing. Before that I was the senior photographer for one of the most well know auction houses. I have been and still am an avid rock climber, backpacker, competition rifle shooter, competition bicyclist and a fly fisherman. I am also known for my cooking, baking and skills at old house restoration.

    • #39293

      This question is somewhat of a difficult question for me to answer for I don’t really consider myself as Transgender. I dress to different degrees on a daily basis but come the weekends I’m a Drag Queen, a gay one at that. I only work part time as a waitress and hostess at a gay bar whereas I’m also a part time escort. Haven’t really thought too heavily on going all the way as Transgender although I am considering HRT only for some of the benefits physically.

    • #39729

      I am son to two amazing loving parents, who love me dearly. I love them more than I can say. Love my brother and sister. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Graduated from college with a BA in Speech-Communication.

      I am a retired airline flight attendant. I worked in the airline industry for over 25 years. A serious leg injury ended my airline career in 2014. So, I had to reinvent myself, by starting my own airline flight attendant consulting business. In addition, I am a Miami Marlins (baseball) fan, Oakland A’s (baseball) fan, Los Angeles Kings (NHL Hockey) fan. Despite my leg injury, I maintain an active and healthy lifestyle. I do not smoke, rarely drink. Never even attempted any illegal drug. When I was able to travel, I used to visit Australia as often as possible. Usually in October/November which is the spring time in Australia. I flew into Brisbane or Cairns (Queensland). Visited The Great Barrier Reef. Plus, Australia does have professional baseball (Australian Baseball League).

      I love cats (and dogs too). When I moved here to Florida, I had two cats. My male cat, Panda died in early 2013. One evening, Panda went out in the yard, but never returned. My guess is, a coyote, or some other animal attacked Panda. My female cat, Little Kitty, passed away in March, 2016. I adopted Little Kitty in 1996. So, we shared 20 wonderful years together.

      So, I keep busy with my airline flight attendant consulting business. In addition, I just started another business, assisting hotels, restaurants, and retail stores, in improving their customer service, and customer satisfaction ratings.

    • #40263

      When i dont cross-dress i am a husband and a member of the Military. Being in the military has presented allot of complication with crossdressing. Even before and still after the repeal of the dont ask dont tell its very difficult to be a cross dresser. This is not the military fault and i dont hold one bit of a grudge or bitterness towards the service. Its a complicated to allow crossdressing freely open in the military because of the vast personality need to make a successful military. This is just not a male but females in the military have these same personality traits. I am not out to make a statement and have kept my crossdressing a secret even from my wife. Now i am one year out to retiring i am not sure if i will boardcast who i am or at the very least tell my wife that i crossdress. In time as i get more distant from the military i may do that we will see.


      • #40549

        Thank you Nikki, for your service to our country! Enjoy your retirement!

    • #40542

      I am a husband to the woman that i love more than anything (but she wouldn’t understand my want to dress). The father tof the brightest autistic son.

      I don’t get to dress much or for long when i do. I would like someone to help me look more passable, and take me somewhere that i would be acepted.

    • #40597

      I am a 40+ truck driver retraining as an electrician.   I dress when I can and have discovered a piece of me that I have been repressing for ever.

      I am now comfortable being an amalgamation of who I was and who I repressed.   I believe I am a better person and better to be around now I am whole.

      I am much better than just me now, I have a secret inner me that makes me feel good about myself again.

    • #42561

      I am still a sissy maid 24/7. I dont have a job and am always dressed like a girl, totally all the time. I used to work in a dress store as a girl but when the owner sold the store, the new owner didnt want a sissy girl working with them, so I had to stay home and become a good sissy maid.

    • #51643

      I am a father to four kids, just found out that I am going to be a grandfather for the first time.  Recent divorcee trying to put my life back together and an IT Sales Manager for about 45 people.  Only started down this road about 1 year ago and trying to figure out where it’s taking me.  Love this site and the support from everyone here.

    • #53187

      I am a divorced father of two daughters, a military veteran, and have worked at a variety of jobs since I was 12 years-old.  I was once in law enforcement until I lost control of my car during a pursuit and was injured and eventually medically retired much sooner than I had hoped.  I am now single, date occasionally, live alone with my dog, and work in a warehouse where I go to work as Gina.

    • #53813

      Hi. I am a father of 4 children, I live in Greece, I am divorced and in love with the woman who marked my life 25 years ago and who is temporarily now living in the US. I am a civil engineer with Masters degree and I love painting. It’s only a few months that my diversity came out and I can say that I’m excited.  I like ..Sasha even if she can’t be shown everyday.  The unknown scares me a little, but the support I get from the woman I love is great and I’m going in small steps but ahead. My life has gained new interest and I am grateful to this site. Thank you

    • #54553

      I am divorced and father of 2 girls that are in college. I do wear some of my preferred clothes to work but still have to present as a male. I wear a bra, panties and stockings with no issue. I also wear clear nail polish everyday. I do work in a mostly female environment and they are so comfortable around me they do not censor anything they discuss. I am fortunate to be a happy girl…but hopefully one day can shed my male self and live as my really happy girl self.

    • #54948

      When I am not Jessica I am a husband, father and, grandfather.  A really young one though. 😉   I have a wife who is somewhere between tolerance and acceptance.  This makes me luckier than many I know.   She still doesn’t want to ever meet Jessica though.  So there are trade-offs I suppose.  I am also a professor  who loves working in academia.  I have the work schedule of your typical college student and I am quite spoiled by it.  And since my summer vacation has just begun I am quite happy at the moment.

    • #54957

      I was a soldier, a knight errant, a medic, a killer.  After the war, I became an exterminator licensed in all western Canada Provinces and Northern, US. Montana, S & N Dakota (sounds like s&m doesn’t it!). The killing has stopped, remorse set in, and now I embrace my Other self. I am a gemini, male/female twins in my mind.     Lady Veronica Graunwolf

    • #59145

      I am an accountant and a civil law notary in Louisiana. I work full time at a major University. I am currently in therapy for dysphoria. I identify myself as a transgender woman but I am somewhat fluid because I am ok with my male gender. After all I spent nearly 60 years living in male body. But during the past few months I have been identifying as being more feminine. I am a widower my dear wife unexpectedly passed away in her sleep on March 29 2015 the worse day of my life. I served in the Navy from 1973 to 1993. After the Navy I wanted to become a mental health counselor but instead became an accountant for money reasons. But I volunteered myself to work as a crisis and suicide counselor on a helpline. I am proud to be transgender. Finally I feel real and happy.

    • #60010

      Who am I don’t we all ask that question the truth of the matter is I know that answer in my heart and soul I feel like I’m Kristen Bell’s sister. I know it sounds strange to say that but I’m down-to-earth silly and funny and I also like doing all the things that Kristen Bell does. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I know that I have a cock and then that would scream that I’m a boy a man a guy but my genitals don’t Define me. You hear that I may see a cock in my pants or dress but that’s not who I am I feel like I’m both a sissy and a transgender woman and also a real women and no one can tell me otherwise. I know I don’t have the money for the surgery. I may never do. But I can live knowing that I am a girl in the inside up. In my mind I Mary men I’m married men. I know it’s funny how I’m not feeling like the gender I was born. You have people the don’t understand who you really are the thing is regardless of the understand or not those people still love you.

      • #92263

        Don’t treat your self like that!  I had some collage but ended up working in the studios making about 28.00 an hour cleaning up behind people.  My name is Vickie

    • #60082

      I was an systems engineer and an author of Sci FI novels. I am retired and still working on technology and writing away. Can do both of those in male or female mode. Best of both worlds.

      Hugs, Dana

    • #60131

      Me…just an uneducated slob, wishing i wasn’t.


    • #62490

      When I am not Karyn, I am a husband who is planning, and in the beginning stages of GRS, with the blessing of my beautiful and supporting wife.  I am a retired deputy sheriff with 30 years under my belt, now working security in a junior high school at a local school district.  I love playing my guitar (although I can play it whether I am Karyn or not), and love riding my Harley with some of my guy friends who have no idea about me or my plans.  I try to be Karyn as often as I can, which is not as often as I would like.  I love being female and wearing dresses and skirts.  Looking forward to my first time out as Karyn.

    • #62493

      A husband father and a fire fighter EMT. Loving the joy and Duality my life has brought to me combined with an understanding wife who loves me dearly I couldn’t ask for anymore!

      • #62495

        Lanna, you are soo lucky to have an understanding wife!
        Hugs, Angela

    • #62531

      I identify as transgender all the time because it’s part of my being. But I do not present myself as a transwoman all of the time, especially when I am working in at the office. I work as an accountant at a major University. My University does not discriminate and allows for transgender identity and expressions. I am allowed to express my transgender identity but so far I have decided not to because I still don’t have the courage to so. Maybe in the future. I am also a civil law notary. I am a father, my son is is an adult 43 years old and he knows that I am transgender and he is supportive. I was married for 36 years but sadly she passed away 2 years ago and I miss her every day. Sadly I am a widow

    • #63029

      Dad first and foremost, I have two great boys and I am committed to them.
      Divorcee soon…separated now after over 20 years of marriage.  Painful! But not as much as it could be, it’s a mostly amicable split and I’ll always love her. She says she loves me and even has talked of “salvaging” the marriage, but I think she is just tired of no longer having access to my money. lol
      I’m also an IT professional and pretty good at it, and a martial arts instructor, and getting good at that. I was very small and bullied as a kid and teaching people, especially kids, to defend themselves is very rewarding.
      I also love pen and paper roleplaying games like D&D.
      Struggled with depression since I was 11, and diabetes, but I’m beating both through diet and exercise, without medication.

    • #63077

      I’ve been pretty much anything i needed to be: a carpenter, a cabinet maker, a plumber, an electrician, a musician, a songwriter,a computer programmer an hardware constructor (redesigned the operating system and memory configuration of my Luxor ABC 80 inthe early eighties and made my own graphics card), an ecological farmer, a car repair man, a collector, a bookbinder and much more. But most I’m a husband of 22 years, a father of three teenage sons and an enviromental consultant with a degree in analytical chemistry working for the same employer for 22 years (yes I got my degree, married and started working in the same year, 1995).

    • #63107

      In the closet, lol.  Middle aged married 24 years father or 2 daughters, engineer, travel with work so I have my chances to dress and have started going out more and more.

    • #66142

      Whether en femme or not, I am the same labels- anthropologist, teacher, social worker, atheist, songwriter, person who watches way too much TV, general pain in the ass, etc.  The only difference is the clothes I happen to be wearing at the time.

    • #66410

      Me……just a bloke.

    • #66679
      Gina Angelo

      Where to start? First I’m an identical twin. I mention that first because I realize that was my first label. Not an individual but a twin. And I love being one

      I am also a medical professional and I wear a lot of hats in the hospital. Flown on helicopters to get patients amongst other things. I am a published research scientist, and sadly an inactive musician

      Thrice divorced, made some bad choices there but finally learned who I am, what I need, and what I deserve

      Also regret that I have no children due to a brain tumor

      But in Gina, I have found new strength and an identity. Confidence and empathy. Transgender is a label but bigender describes the coming together of my two life forces

    • #66923

      I’m a nuturer to my baby. A Loving, trusting, sensual, kinky, accepting, non judgemental, sometimes sad person. Mainly happy though. Just feeling a little dysphoric right now. Once I accepted the whole me I stopped beibg ashamed of who I am. I leaned to love myself for me rather than hiding behind labels like bi, freak or he/she. S

    • #92343

      Redneck, geek, American football fan, bookworm, introvert lover of tabletop RPG’s(D&D), and Christian. To name a few labels. I am an emotional compassionate person who is learning who he is and learning to love himself.

    • #92347

      WOW, Vanessa. Well said.

    • #92348

      I’m a retired private investigator, of 35 years. I’m a semi professional pool player, rated 48th in the state of California. I love bowling, and mountain climbing.

      • #92725

        Hi Veronica. I am a retired professional investigator. as well.  Criminal stuff, living in Poway.  My lovely wife accepts Kathy, however, she does not wish to spend time with her.  My “Kathy time” is of the lonely variety, sorry to say.  That said, I do have time to be myself when the bride is out of the house.  It is a minor victory for Kathy.  Underdressing is acceptable.  We even co-mingle our laundry.


        • #94202

          Hi Kathy,

          Happy to hear from someone, who can understand, the danger, a life like ours can have. However, I was never really happy, until I discovered Veronica. Now that I’m retired, and live alone, I am Veronica every day for as long as I desire.

    • #92531

      I’m a writer, sometimes. I’m training to be a healer, but that’s more spiritual than physical. I work on trees for my day job, and I am a pretty emotional man. I feel, nor see any shame in letting emotions flow, and making sure to let them flow in healthy ways, not destructive ways.
      I cry during sad scenes in movies, and even though I love being Tiffany, I really really like my facial hair.

    • #93091

      The most recent label is the one my wife gave me. She said I was out of control. She meant this as a compliment. Lol right! Here’s why she called me that. Over the last few months as I shared with her who Sabrina is and not Dane she was supportive yet cautious. My personality shift has been life changing for both of us. As a male I was extremely overbearing and controlling. I’ve made a 360 degree change. Sabrina aka me is out of control and my wife is loving it. If I were to give myself a new label it would be a partner, better father and better person to everyone. As a teacher i believe learning and evolving never stops.

      • #201509


        Interesting commentary; I also have noted that Bettylou is a nicer, more agreeable person than my other persona.  It’s a shame she took so long to make an appearance…life would have been so much more interesting.

    • #94193

      I do not separate my life into dual areas, I am just me whether I am grocery shopping, working in the garden or changing the oil in the car. I am a industrial electrician by trade, working on cell phone towers, oil refineries and projects along that line. I enjoy the physical and mental challenge from my work. But I just live one life, being who I am.

    • #95109
      Edie Majeski

      I am a divorce and never had the joy of having children. Sorry to say but my crossdressing ways played a major part in me been childless. I am a retired machinist, which now allows Edie to come visit whenever she wishes.

    • #95351

      I’m a musician, writer, lover of life, husband, eldest brother. Labels for me have been many and I’m trying to just accept who I am. All of me. This is tough sometimes still getting a little shame, but this is my journey. I am a stained glass window with multiple colors, shades, shapes, and designs. I love them all.

    • #112611

      Honestly, I do not know the answer to question.  It is a question I have trying to answer now for several years.

      I understand the various roles I have within the family; son, brother, husband, father, protector and provider. My roles professionally and within the community but I still feel that I am searching for my true identity.

    • #112630

      Hello Vanessa,

      I am in IT and self taught at the beginning. However I have been and done many jobs in my life. The second longest job was as a weapons loader in the USAF for 9 1/2 years. I was a copier and fax repair technician for 5 years then self taught IT taking my first two Microsoft certifications on my own then moved to the IT side from the copier side. Now I work in IS at a hospital and love the job. My most important position in life is to love my wife as much as I can and be there for her since she is there for me and my feminine self. TTFN💋👠



    • #113955

      Who am I? I love the uniqueness of the titles and labels that many ladies have offered. I am many of those but I am discovering that I am much more because of the woman who lives inside. I like to think of it as living a gender-blended  life. Being able to fill the needs of my family and friends and fulfilling my needs by dressing and presenting myself as the women inside.

    • #114884

      At the heart of it, I love to create. I have a strong need for external praise on my accomplishments, probably as I did not get many growing up. I like fairness and order. I like wit and puzzles, which challenge my mind.

      Using labels, I am a physician, computer programmer, father, husband, furniture builder, gardener, make preserves and breads, photographer, handyman, and I create a fantastic illusion of a woman. Since my wife cannot tolerate giving me praise for this creation and has not wanted me to go out in public, I have to share it in the online communities.

      Hugs, Ellen

    • #114934

      Well let’s see… When I am not Sassy which has been a while since she has been able to get out. I’m a 41 year old guy who has been through a lot of ups and downs in his life. I can say that I have not been myself lately. I’ve been in a I guess you could say a dark place in my life and started gambling which has been my lastest bad habit. After wasting way to much money and realizing that I am not lucky. I have been trying to get a grip on my gambling addiction. (It’s a horrible addiction, worse that any addiction I’ve ever experienced). I realized what I am doing is running from myself and the things I truly enjoy. I use to enjoy being a DJ and producing electronic dance music. I ran into some legal problems last year and while I was incarcerated from March 2017 till April 2018 my equipment I used to make music and DJ with was stolen along with Sassy’s clothing and accessories. There was so much more taken but it’s not important to this story. So when I was released I didn’t have any of those things that I enjoyed. Instead of taking what money I had and purchasing new stuff to make music or to become Sassy I got the bright idea I could try my luck and take my winnings to replace the stuff. Well let’s say that it was a bad decision and since April this year I’ve been through thousands of dollars with nothing to show for it. So I decided about a month ago and I would stop gambling and put my focus on the things I truly enjoy which is music and being Sassy. I haven’t been able to start purchasing anything at this time. But I can say that just window shopping for new outfits, wigs along with  watching and reading about dressing up has been great for my depression. I’m feeling better and more positive about life again. I so can’t wait to go shopping for wigs, heels, make up and clothes soon. Once I get Sassy back together I will start working on the music equipment. I’m so ready to be beautiful again. Until that time I’m just a guy who is dealing with his addictions. Having a good support system is key which is why I decided to find others who share a common interest. So any positive advice is welcome. Thanks for reading 😉

    • #174622
      Stef Smith

      I m just a heterosexual male that likes to be pretty sometimes and feel sexy and free

      nothing more nothing less

      this is me !

    • #174809

      Husband, father, too many jobs to list from engineer to Housing officer. And proudly a fighter for the working class.

    • #174907

      I am the one my family comes to, in sorrow, joy, disaster, hopelessness, and need for safe haven.  I have and will never turn them away…….for any reason.

      I am the rock for my spouse.


    • #175163

      I’m an involved loving parent of three and a grandparent of five as well as a caring and supportive partner to my lovely SO. I’m involved with community volunteer groups and continue to enjoy my daily work as a renovations contractor. I’m known by most for my sarcastic wit, casual easy smile, and outspokeness with regards to waste, greed and excess. I endeavour to learn and grow every day

    • #175231

      I am a husband to a wonderful wife, father to 2 daughters, retired from a profession that served my well.
      Spend time around the house, plus too much time birding.
      Just love the feel of dressing in feminine clothes, that’s all no desire to undergo further changes.
      At present what I am is happy and very content.

    • #178727

      I have been married for 34 years to a loving wife.  She has known about my dressing for 30 of those years and is fairly supportive.  I am closeted otherwise.  I have two grown kids who are contributing to society, and I work in the family business.  I am considered a leader in my community.  I am not transgender, but label myself as a crossdresser.  (I hate labels, but, oh well). I enjoy dressing, then returning to my natural self.

      Somewhere in my 40’s, I was able to accept myself and realized this is who I am, and am not going change. I do not consider myself trapped in the wrong body, I am quite happy the way I am, but am empathic to those that feel they are.   I had the typical things a crossdresser goes through happen in my life, married thinking it would go away, purging, etc.  That was the most difficult thing in my life to come to grips with, but when I did, what a peaceful place.  I have enjoyed female clothing for as long as I can remember.

      As others have mentioned, it is regrettable that when information is sought, there is so much smut out there to sort through, and that does not help anything.  This will be, and has been, one of the biggest challenges going forward, that our community faces.  Stereotypes are difficult to break, when the lowest denominator shows up when people are searching for information.  The negative image will continue, mostly because the community is mostly closeted and no personal interaction takes place, so others do not see first hand that it is just not a group of pervs and weirdos.  Television does not help either, while very progressive in many ways, crossdressing is still portrayed as deviant behavior, for the most part, with few exceptions.  One of the few positives I can think of, was the Drew Carey Show.  Finding sites like this takes a bit of doing, but is very satisfying when you do.


      • #198201

        Do watch the inspirational film “The Boy in a Dress” by David Walliams. It paints a very positive picture of cross dressing.

        Love Laura

    • #182352

      I’m not sure I’m understanding the question but here’s my reply..I’m David…Devra when I’m dressed up as a beautiful woman. I’ve just recently started coming out more with my love for feeling beautiful and enjoying my feminine side. I even feel better just writing this reply. Myself I just love to dress in my women’s clothing whenever I want to. I’m still looking for a woman who accepts me as I am and I’m not into men. This gets mistaken quite often. I first put on pantyhose when I was 9 years old and as hard as I’ve tried I can’t give it up. I love how I look and feel dressed up as a woman. I threw everything away in 2001… and i regret it to this day. I still get scared going out in public but it’s getting better with the help of some girlfriend’s. .some family I’ve shared with and a support group I have through the VA. I can’t put into word’s the freedom I feel when I’m out and about in public and surprisingly the support I hear from some. I’m 60 now but I still carry myself pretty well and my legs can sometimes make my girlfriends jealous. Thank you all on this site and especially you Vannesa.

    • #182377

      I’m going to answer as I read the question:

      I am a human being, somewhere on a sliding gender scale, created by humans.

      I like to wear certain items of clothing, made by humans for humans.

      Some women like to wear these items too, but many do not. They have a choice.

      I also make my own choices. I believe in the message central to many films, songs and TV series (No pun intended), to be yourself and believe in yourself no matter what.

      This is very difficult, as, although what I believe in is in no way illegal, it seems to upset some people (Some people are upset by all sorts of things, such as the price of bread, whether Brexit is good or bad and so on), and so I am forced to keep my choice of clothing secret in most situations.

      The inherent ridiculousness of this situation is not lost on me, but I strive to find out what it is that upsets others so much.

      And so far, no-one has come up with a good answer.

      So I am a person marginalised and trapped for no reason whatsoever.

      This will not do.

      As Freddie Mercury said, I Want to Break Free…


    • #182381

      I am married to a wonderful wife, two beautiful daughters and three exceptionally good looking and intelligent grandchildren. (I MAY be a little prejudiced…lol!)

      I’m a senior manager for a large commercial construction company and the owner of a small residential service company. I hope soon to retire from the commercial company and devote my energy to building my company to a more profitable (retirement income) venture. I giggle when I think that some day I may be able to get a “woman-owned business” classification!

      Most of my life, I identified as a crossdresser, but I’ve recently acknowledged to myself that I’m truly a transgender woman. It’s exciting and scary…but I love my life!



    • #182403

      As a single parent I am both father and mother to my children. I am a doting son to my wonderful mother who lives across the street from me. I am a brother to my three siblings. And I am a teacher, mentor, coach and surrogate father to the approximately 150 students I teach every year. I used to make a lot of money as a New York lawyer, but now i make something far more important. I make children think and grow in ways even they never thought possible. And nothing is more rewarding than that.

      • #198219


        Your words touched me, you are a great woman.

        Thank you for sharing.


    • #195846
      Amy Myers

      To use the labels, which are important at times, though there is no doubt I am a crossdresser, I do not believe that I would ever become transgendered. I love being a man, and have a definate male persona, but in the last year, Amy, has certainly gelled into a person who deserves recognition, and needs some time for herself.

      For many years, I was completely closeted, and only dressed up a few times a year, then that wasn’t enough, and Amy rather “came to be” late last year, and I think of her birthday as Jan 1 2019. About a year ago, I was still just my male self dressing up, but then “she” needed more.

      Now I’m making cautious steps into the big wide world as my femme self. Scary, but somehow necessary to me, and unbelievably satisfying. All has gone well, so far, but I could not of done it so quickly without the support of a local group of CDer’s who I got to know about through one of the Ambassadors here.

      Sadly, so much of the information out there about crossdressing is so fetish oriented that the impression many can get is not the right one. Also, there seems to be a perception that most are gay, and that’s not true either, but of course some are. There is much education of the general population that needs to be done, I sometimes think that we, the CD community might be where gay and lesbians were several decades ago. At least here in most areas of North America, and some places in Europe as well where is there is wide acceptance of alternative lifestyles.


      • #198217

        Great answer Amy, I feel exactly the same way. Thank you for let me know I am not just the only one who think like this.



    • #195853

      I’m joe dirt, seriously a father of two boys, a husband of 17 years to a wonderful women. I’m an electrician, a vet, a role model for junior electricians, a brother and a friend.

    • #195905

      I am Laura and/or {insert male name here}.

      The remainder of the question is the same asked by the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland, and has one answer: Me.


      Love Laura

    • #197796

      My identity shouldn’t be a “word”. My identity is who I am. What does it matter what color, what religion, what sexual orientation, and what my opinions are? Like what was said from the beginning, we are all human beings. So why not let everyone live in peace and happiness with themselves? Do I hate? I do not, to each their own as long as they are happy with their lives. We need to remember our time in this world is a clicking clock with an alarm going off at any given minute. There is no time to waste on hatred and prejudice. It is very easy, just let people be themselves. Violence and harsh words do nothing but make a situation worse. Do I argue against other’s views? I do not, just wish people would, as a whole, not judge others for their personal perspective in life. What is the reason to hate or disagree with a persons actions or appearance if it doesn’t affect you? I really hope our world makes a change for the good. It has begun but so much work is still needed. I will be long gone by the time things change for the better but I hope and trust that it will. My identity is always going to be a human being. Lucky enough to live in the USA and be myself. Everyone else out there please don’t give up! When you give up, you lose. You have to keep fighting and trying to win. Be happy and content with whom you are, the alarm could go off at any minute.


      • #201129

        Right on Kelli, don’t ever let anyone persuade you otherwise. Jackie…….

    • #197812

      I’m Jackie Wild, I’m not transgender, transexual or shemale. Other than wearing the labels drag queen and or a cross dresser I really don’t have another clue as for what I am. I live 24/7 as a gay person that wears makeup daily, don’t own one stitch of male clothing. However I do have over 40 wigs, a closet and dressers full of what is deemed “womens clothing”, and I have my nails done every two weeks. I could go on but I believe I’ve half way answered the question. Speaking of question; what am I to be called?

      • #201616

        You are a wild child girlfriend but all joking aside you are a smart and supportive friend the ultimate Queen kiss kiss 💋 💋 Jasmine

        • #204875

          Thank u Jasmine, that was sweet

        • #216135

          What an awesome compliment Jasmine, luv you to, thank u, Jackie…..

    • #197854

      So who am I? I’m a father to two (now adult) children and of course, a husband of 26 years to a bemused wife. I’m a British ex-pat now living permanently in Australia, where I have dual nationality. I am into miniature wargaming – most eras of history, sci-fi and fantasy – and also boardgames and role-playing games. Also photography and, at the moment, learning and performing burlesque. We like to go camping when we can, and I’m a massive Sherlock Holmes nerd. Oh, and I work in IT.

    • #198241

      i am really a split person, one a faithful husband and father, who has  lovely and somewhat tolerant wife(who has known about Giselle for 8+ years), who has put up a front and gone through the motions for the past 37 years.

      the other is a woman with a man’s body, who will have to live with my situation for the rest of my life

      i so respect those sisters who have the courage i lack and really have never had to be who they are and accept all the consequences both good and bad

    • #201502

      Who am I when i am not Bobbie?

      i am a retired/disabled physician still mourning the loss of much more than just  a career rather a life calling.

      i am a father of two both adults neither with any knowledge of Bobbie or that Dad likes to dress up like Mom.

      i am an aspiring author and poet who lacks the dedication most days

      i am a hiker working and training to thru hike first the Florida Trail the the Appalachian Trail (not very feminine that)

      i am disabled first by a neuromuscular disorder that crippled my hands and weakened my legs, then by the loss of my right leg below the knee.

      i am all of this and more.  Like all people i am a complex mix of aspects and habits, of knowledge and faith sometimes contradictory and yet fused together in one

    • #204112

      Thank you Vanessa for saying what we all at times feel.  I am a factory worker who performs his duties each day Monday through Friday.  Then comes the weekend and Michelle gets to go out with friends and enjoy the activities in the surrounding communities!  I am comfortable with my duality and have been.  Michelle brings out the best in me and my friends can see this.  All those lost years of suppressing because of society”norms”!  I am now out as much as I can be and look forward to all that I can accomplish as Michelle.  You are a strong person and I applaud you for moving forward to be the true you and for developing this website.  We all love you and cherish you!


    • #232064


      I like most people have many labels, to the outside world I am male, Welsh, a gay man, a husband.  Each Identity is part of the whole. Amanda is just one fabulous part.  I feel we are blessed as individuals.  We get to experience the whole range of human experience.  I’m just as happy as a stubble face man in a shirt and tie as I am in skirt, heels and make-up.  We all have elements of masculinity and femininity in us all. We have the gift of being able to recognise this, embrace it and act on these elements to be our full and true selves.

      Amanda 🤗xx

    • #232101

      I’m a husband, partner and friend. I’d love to think that I could still be one of those if I ever did decide to transition.

      I’m an academic who holds multiple degrees.  I’m an educator and also a student (currently working on PGCE number 3).

      I’m a lover of film, theatre, travelling and MotoGP (Congratulations to Marky Mark Marquez.  World Champion 2019).


    • #233026

      I’m a father and husband to a wonderful family. O am also an infrastructure manager that wishes he were a chef. Most of all a crossdresser who is in the closet and doesn’t want to hurt his family with a long held secret. And to top it all a person who is unsure whether further transition is in her future.

    • #242474


      I am so happy. You created this site. Because of support I get here. I was able to buy my first pair of pantyhose. They are black and feel great


    • #242512
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual

      This is a very interesting topic.  I have seen a few surveys, which pose this very question, and there is a definite pattern, not absolute, but there is an identifiable pattern. 

      Our director of outreach in my support group actually keeps statistics of not only our members but also CDs who have contacted her and shown an interest in our group. 

      The pattern seems to indicate people in macho-type professions and detail oriented professions gravitate toward cross dressing. 

      Stock brokers, accountants, engineers, law enforcement officers, electricians, mechanics, career military, computer programmers, college professors, gun smiths, carpenters, fire fighters, and many others gravitate toward cross dressing.

      Is this pattern conclusive proof, probably not, nevertheless, it is interesting to see what we all are, when the pretty clothes and make up come off. 

      Oh, me?  Retired military, followed by a civilian career as an electronics engineer. 

    • #242569

      I’m a construction worker M-F during the day, then I’m a mix between m&f at nights and on the weekend. I myself, feel that I’m bigender. I would like to do some transition but keep my downstairs 😊. I doubt I will ever get to do it, but I can dream. I do at least have a supportive wife, but our son does not know, at least we don’t think he knows. Like others, I want to say thanks for creating this wonderful site.
      Hugs, Ruby

    • #243173

      Five nights a week, I am involved in hospital security.  It’s not just writing parking tickets in the parking areas or making sure all the doors are locked at night.  We sort of define or duty as protecting hospital asset’s.  Those assets are not just the physical property, but also include the staff, patients and visitor’s in our facility.  Some times, that involves showing compassion to people we do not know that have just received some bad news, or joking and talking with children who are really pretty scared by the things they see and have heard about hospitals.  Most kids like for me to stop in and check on them and maybe show them the one card trick I know, and I always give them the number to the phone I carry with me at all times.

      I also like amateur photography.  That is taking pictured of people and thigs other than me, I am actually pretty camera shy when I know someone is taking my picture.  I play guitar well enough to enjoy it for me,  no requests please, LOL.

      My favorite computer game is ‘Sims4’.  With the newest version of the game, we can finally have gay and crossdressing Sim’s in the game, you can even give the cross dressed males a swishy feminine walk.


    • #272605

      Perhaps the most important thing that this site does is to let people know that they are not alone, that they are not the first and won’t be the last. MANY, closeted or not, live in isolation and cannot connect with their Tribe. Isolation is a terrible thing and we must continually work to break that down.

      I am a 71 now. My progression over the last 3 decades was gay to bisexual to crossdresser to non-binary transgender. I present as female 80% to 90% of the time and am comfortable in doing so. My weaknesses are clothes made of silk and short skirts, short skorts and short shorts. Since I retired and relocated to the SoCal desert, the vast majority of people that I’ve met only know DeeAnn. Few have met Don. My persona is an amalgam of male and female. I have no plans to transition as I do not have dysphoria to any significant degree. Sexually, I identify more as lesbian than anything else these days.

      I am with my 2nd wife. I have 2 grown children from my first marriage and 2 grandchildren. I’m a retired mechanical engineer, a motorsports fan since the mid-50’s, movie buff and a computer and photography enthusiast. Musically, my tastes are all over the place. Artists on my iPhone/iPad include Sade, Glenn Gould, Scott Joplin, TuPac, Alicia de Larrocha, Judy Collins, The Heavy, Rihanna, Adele, Hilary Hahn, Mark Ronson, Sergio Mendes and a number of others. As Harry Reasoner once said: “If there is a pattern, I fail to discern it.”. I was a board member and treasurer for our local trans organization for 2+ years and a steering committee member for our local HRC group for 2+ years. I am currently the volunteer coordinator for the Palm Springs Pride organization and a member of The Women’s Circle. Presently considering joining OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change). One bedroom of our house is DeeAnn’s Den and serves as clothing and shoe storage and dressing and makeup space.

      I like being Me!

    • #272622

      Hi. Another good question.

      I am ex-military, an infantry soldier for 13 years, and now I am a designer, maker and seller of metal bird ornaments. I am also a singer, specialising in folk ballads.

      I am a father of a grown up daughter, a son, a brother, a cardiac emergency survivor and an all-around good egg. A friend to a few, an acquaintance to more and recognised by yet more.

      I hope that answers your question.

      Sian x

    • #272959

      “My darhling – you look MARVELOUS”   Love your pix!

    • #272984

      I am a husband and a father, farmer so (Biologist, botanist, animal psychologist, mechanic, meteorologist…) Professionally, I am an exploration geologist and mentor to new geologists. I am training as a RPAS (drone) pilot.
      I am also very interested in sustainable forestry techniques, particularly coppicing and hedge laying.

      In short I am a jack of all trades and master of none!

      With all this on the go I don’t know where I find the time to dress, but I do, and I try to work it into what I do where possible. Today for example, I was grouting a bathroom while wearing a bra and cami with full makeup on.


    • #273171
      Cassie Jayson

      HI everyone I am 65 and the father of 3 adult kids and grandfather of 2.  I have been a letter carrier for 26 years and as long as my body holds up I am looking for another 5.

    • #273477
      Robin Snow

      Hi Vanessa,

      This is such a wonderful thread.  I spent the better part of my professional career doing application development when that left me in 2008 I changed careers and went into education.   I taught HS math for a couple of years.   Then one day my wonderful wife and I decided that we were done.  We sold the house in Connecticut and bought a little place in Vermont.  I currently manage a ski program at a local resort and run a small craft business making wooden bowls and other gift items.

      Living the dream!



    • #279857

      Hi to every one im a husband father of 6 adult kids and 6 grand children . Had numerous jobs thru out my life married for 35 years to a wonderful loving wife she met Stephanie about 1 year after marrage and has tolerated her not fully approves of her but lets her visit lots more now that kids are grown up on there own and like some others she says she is lots easyer to get along with (lol) she buys me items like clothes makeup heels wigs  and some times helps her come over for visits  I am a loving husband and a crossdresser  really not looking to transition just like to be a pretty woman as often as I can thanks stephanie

    • #279867
      Alice Black

      I am retired computer programmer who worked that field for over 35 years. I have been married for 12 years and actually knew her for 8 years before that. She does not know my crossdressing secret.

      I just retired in January and am looking for things to do. Joined CDH in part as gives me something to do.

    • #279896

      I am man with a feminine side that is desperately seeking to get out.  In the last few years I have found myself dressing more and more and have started to look for like minded individuals to discuss things with.  I am very happy to have found this site and just being able to share my thoughts and feelings has been so helpful.

      In the last few months I have made the desition to start making some changes in my life to help express my feminine side.  So, Bye bye body hair and I’m letting the hair on top of my head grow out.  Going for an androgynous look.   I am not interested in transitioning and I don’t like make up  so going out in full femme will not happen for me.  However,  I am looking for and finding some things (clothes) I think I could wear to help Leann express herself.  Then I just need the courage to come out and start wearing the stuff in public.

      Like many others here, I am in a “macho” profession.  Maintenance tech, mechanic, builder, fabricator…. Jack of all trades.  Hobbies include motocross, model trains,  gardening and crafts.  I have a very artsy side and of course I absolutely love women’s clothing and i am a complete shoe whore.  it’s a good thing I have large, wide feet and can’t fit in most women’s shoes.  Otherwise I would have a house full of cute strapy heels and ankle boots.  Which would have me completely broke…lol 🤣🤣🤣

    • #280524

      I’m a veteran served 8 years active duty, six of those were spent at sea as a mechanic. I can get greasy, love the smell of oil, diesel and salt air. I can take an old motor apart, put it back together and make it purr like it just came off the assembly line. I love to get dirty, but more over I love to feel pretty and be feminine.

      • #629267

        I would like to Thank You for your service. I did not expect to encounter so many veterans. Thanks to alll of you.

    • #330033

      Love the question and the responces!

      I am first a father to triplet 2 year olds, thats my superpower as well. Have 2 grown daughters, a 16 year old step son that has been part of my life since the age of 4. A husband, a brother, and generally a nice guy. I was a combat engineer in the Army, a drill Sergeant, Air assault, and veteran of the gulf war. Retired after 20 years. Sports fanatic, hockey player, Tae Kwon Do blackbelt. And much more.

      But now I am happily Transitioning to become Traci Lynn, as opposed to the old Tracyee Lynn in my male life. But that will never change the person I was, or the love for my family.

      Thanks Traci Lynn

      <p style=”text-align: right;”></p>

    • #330063

      I am a retired husband, father, and grandfather, three adult children and one grandchild.  I’m 67 years old and my secret is known only here on CDH with no plans to transition further.
      After retiring from being a bread vendor and Teamster driver I spend time at our mountain property chopping wood, hiking and fishing.  Being a grandfather takes front seat a lot and family and church time is a priority.  I play a banjo and am taking lessons(because I have time now!).
      I’m happy being male but I have a feminine side that I have nurtured for most of my life.  Being able to dress up helps to make me feel that I am just a person, one with emotions, empathy and compassion.  Thanks




    • #334143

      My name is Jessaca Scarlett I am almost 55 and although I was a cross dresser for 42 years, in a prison of my own making , I have now moved on to become transgender and dress and act female 24/7. We live in West Wales on a small holding with 4 dogs and 2 rescue horses. While not totally self sufficient we could be.

      I am sure we all question should we transition? What drives us to the next level? Let’s say there are so many questions we ask ourselves before we “come out” and actually become the person inside who has screamed and screamed.

      Lets continue! I am a carer for my partner of 26 years Pamela. Before that I had trained as a professional dance teacher and became a Fellow in my own Society (I retired with a repetitive strain injury) I still dance now, not expecting to, and have my own studio. Before that I was a Postmasters son working on counter service for 20 years. Spent some time with BT and moved on.

      So apart from Ballroom and Latin dancing what are my hobbies. I ride horses when we have one rideable and also I am a Class A radio Amateur. I spend a lot of time doing ground duties . We don’t have any tractors So the donkeys me pulling the trailer. It all sounds very physical but I know when I transition some things I may not be able to do.

      What does the future hold? I am now retired but working still very hard by choice on site. I will be going private to initiate my hormone therapy after the virus as receded. I am already on the 2 year waiting list to see the gender clinic so one day I might get an appointment. Where off on are holidays when it’s allowed and maybe down size in the next few years.

      Why am I transitioning!? I suppose I have always known I have been different. Not mixing in male company easily? Always wanting to choose the girls choice? Giving rather than taking? Wanting to wear and choose female clothing! Make up and nail varnish smell Devine. It’s no good being the best man at the dance when you want to be the best girl??

      Why fight the personality within when she has your best interests at heart.

    • #334332

      I’m a VietNam era veteran, retired user application programmer and project engineer, former air traffic controller, married twice, the second time passing 40 years now, father of 3 adult children, 2 married each with a boy and girl, although almost a generation separates these cousins (the oldest two are in college). Yeah, OK Boomer is me! I’ve changed infant diapers off and on for over 45 years, the latest time a month ago. I enjoy alpine skiing, golf, hiking, biking, kayaking, traveling, doing outreach programs for a non-profit I belong to. I really like bar team trivia contests (our team finished 2<sup>nd</sup> in the state a year or so ago) I’ve been a cross-dresser practically all my remembered life thinking seriously early on of transitioning, but decided not to. I write tg fiction which is online. I shared my ‘secret’ with my spouse, but we don’t discuss it, and I dress in private. I absolutely love my wife, my children, and my grandchildren, and for some reason, they all seem to like me.

      • #629266

        Thank You so much for your service Chloe. I appreciate your sacrifice.

    • #339910

      I am a father to a blind adopted son, husband and best friend to my wife, someone who ensures the safety of the public and coworkers my job.  A 42 year old who is comfortable with myself and my place in the world.

    • #360851

      Great topic, it helps me to get to know more about my sisters.

      I’m the dad to “several” adult children, and one younger child. Been with my third, and current wife for 12 years. I am currently in outside sales, which doesn’t really lend itself for being Kayla. I am 59 years old, and have accepted myself as a bi gender. I am comfortable as a male, but am most happy and joyful as Kayla. My wife has know of my crossdressing (and supportive)for 10+ years, but just recently I came out to her and two of my kids as bi gender. My wife is not as enthusiastic about it as I had hoped, but my two kids are highly supportive of me being me, whatever that may look like. I have no plan to transition, although I would love to have breast (I often read about ways to develop them, and dream about having my own). I have never gone out en femm fully, but plan too at some point. I love makeup,  as well as looking and dressing like a lady and will soon be getting a makeover.

      Above all else, I am just who I am.

      Peace and love ladies,


    • #362081

      I’m just an average woman trying to make something of myself. I’m not sure whether I fall under transgender or just regular crossdresser.

    • #404248

      I’m not proud of my live. It start seeing girl clothes and i became the crossdresser who many people surching for. Many of the girls gets offended but, believe me, and i really think this is true, if we all  find ourselfs strying female clothes, because something call us, something pulls “the other girls” ( a few or many, i don’t now) to try, (i was, i am) the stuff that you don’t want to be associated. Its a problem if a girl get the mind trapped there. If that happens, it’s just because their minds are 100% in the sex part. The clothes, felling pretty, is not there. Not love, just sex. Many mens surch this. Its not a clean path. It feels an explosion of pleasure this way, but after a wild, when i comeback to real life, i feel some kind of emptyness. Its not easy to switch my mind. If many girls expect the end of the day to put a shoe, a skirt or makeup, whith a smile in their hearts, many of us loose that train somewhere, and its not easy to get back on the track. Not long time ago,i feel just perfect to dressed up and seeing girls in their outfits. But i’ve seen movies….. and i have to try.

      I do not now if i can express my thougts and fellings in a way that you understand me.

      Every girl, every person, wants to be happy. I belive some girls just want to put some kinky clothes and have sex. Hetero or homo, don’t metter at all. And they rich their gold with that. Put the videos on the internet its a kind  of exciting. I put one once and i take him off in the next minute. Thrill.

      I do not want, and i can not do that, justify the actions of all girls but the other girls find their way to express their feminine side in a way that  many girls can not find their mirror in those girls.  Some have no chance to choose. The doors closed in the “normal life”. Porn and prostitution open that door.

      If i do not feel strong enougth, to put a outfit and go out, what do you  think of many of this girls of the underworld ( or not that deep) to get free and go in the Wright way. Others do no wanted.

      I think in the end of all, i just trying to convince myself theres no wrong paths. I’m on nogirls land. I do like to feel just feminine when i dresse up and just walk in my room feeling good and well dressed. In the same coin i have thougts, feelings that is no compatible with the way of living of a lady.

      I do not know what to write more,just trying not judge in the some way that you not want to be judge. Women and gays still have problems in the day by day to get accepted. Many of the girls stands up and fight.Many others do not pick that fight. The fear wins.

      Just…. nothing.

      Trully from the heart.

      I do not think that is a just


    • #404261

      Hi Vanessa

      An excellent very interesting post I am a total defined crossdresser. I have been in the closet now for forty years. I can’t see myself ever coming out, my wife has always appeared intolerant towards CD’s & Trans. Job to know how she would react if I told her due to amount of time I’ve

      been in secret. I am very happy to called a crossdresser and proud of it, I have not came out because I really don’t want the ill feeling between us. My wife only knows my male side a  highly skilled technician and successful sportsman. However the people that aspire me most are all female, really doubtful how she would react to find out her husband, prefers everything feminine in life and has a bigger female wardrobe than her. Anyway I am a Crossdresser who is very happy with herself.

      I love all of you Ladies. Sarah xxxx

    • #404757

      I’ve always been sort of a man’s man….a problem solver, the guy you call when the job had to get done, welder, mechanic, etc….

      I’ve never understood my attraction to wearing women’s clothes but it’s something that has been with me for most of my 50+ years. It’s only been recently that I’ve really started to be ok with ALL of who I am.

      Honestly, the drab guy side of me got to be pretty boring. I’ve pretty much mastered my career choice, I’ve reached many of the goals I once had and I really sort of ran out of challenges. Now, my challenge is to discover the different facets of myself so I can enjoy and grow them to become a more complete person. I am happy as a man and I’ll probably never want to transition to a woman but there is a definite duality to me that always frightened me until now.

      When I embraced this feminine side of myself, I began to feel more whole and complete than I ever have. She was starving for love and acceptance but never again. I know Kristin will always be an important part of who I am.

      Hugs to everyone

    • #404797

      I just reread my response from some time ago and, while I wouldn’t change anything, I would add this…

      I don’t believe myself to be confined. Actually, just the opposite. The discovery of my true gender identity has been liberating. I am not confined by trying to be somebody that I wasn’t. I’ve allowed myself to be me…

    • #404932

      I love this thread and the responses.   First of all I am a husband of almost 19 years.  I am the father of 3 wonderful sons that are growing into their own paths to life.  I am a carpenter by trade, with over 20 years of home building experience.  I am a wood worker, locksmith, painter and general tinkerer.  I love nature, I love riding ATVs with my wife, I love shooting, and model trains.  I am happiest when I am doing things for others, although it takes a little prodding sometimes. I try to be generous but don’t always succeed.  I am a crossdresser from a very early age, sometimes very ashamed of it, now I own it.  I believe each and every one of us has a challenge to make our tomorrows easier for those that come after us. Each of us were given this great challenge because each and every one of us has the strength to take it on.

    • #405134

      OK, whenever someone asks “who are you” all I can think of is Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club. “Who are you? Who are you?” And he was so serious.

      Anywho, I’ve worn a few different hats in my 52 years. I’ve been an assistant manager of a sporting goods store, a legal messenger, and a webmaster. Right now I’m a poet who’s looking to get something published in a poetry magazine and eventually self publish a book of poems. Preferably my own since the government takes a dim view of plagerism.

      I’m a son, a brother, and an uncle. I’m a friend and a cantor at church. I’m someone who lives daily with bipolar disorder and diabetes. I have character flaws that I’m trying to work on.

      I know what you meant but I don’t feel confined to a transgender identity. Yes I’m transgendered but that’s only one piece of who I am. I’m not a poet, I’m not a diabetic, I’m not a brother. Those are all equal parts of me. For me to emphasize one at the expense of the others just feels wrong to me somehow, you know?

    • #473820

      First off, I so love this article and I wish there were more articles like this one. My situation is definitely the duality version. All my life my male identity was dominant throughout my life, but then there were pockets and sections sprinkled throughout where someone else in me showed that they were present. No nothing like being bipolar or having a split personality (maybe split personality lol), just another aspect of me shining through. To keep this brief, it wasn’t until the summer of 2020 where doing extreme quarantining gave me the opportunity to really look inward at who or what was this second being of me. It was then that I found Quinetta, and once I did a lot of questions were answered. For example, my male identity (and I as well) both enjoy the female body but not just the physical attraction of wanting them but the attraction of wanting their body as my own. The latter I realized was me Quinetta throwing in my two cents every time a pretty woman crossed my eyes. Not just in person but in magazines and TV/Movies. So now when I am the primary and my male identity is paused, I appreciate and study a woman’s body I find attractive not just because I would like to be intimate with her ( because Quinetta is pansexual;) ), but also to compare hers to mine and see how much difference there is. See if I could wear the same types of clothes and get the same effect (or affect?) on my body.

      So to sum things up, myself and my male identity have to share time so both remain happy. If one goes too long without enough primary time I can feel that things would turn up bad. Just know that every time I am on here my male identity knows to go sit the fuck down somewhere and wait until I am done lol.

      Kisses…I love each and every one of you…

      • #473829

        Your situation is so much like mine … my thought is to feminize myself such as shaving legs and of course to begin to acquire panties and hose and undergarments I can safely wear underneath male clothes …

    • #473869

      I am a sensitive feminine spirit. I am caring, loving and optimistic. I consider myself female with a male outer shell which is slowly changing.

    • #474289

      Leaving gender completely out of it, I am a humanist, an atheist, an anthropologist, an activist, and a musician. I am a humanist because I prefer to live a life, to paraphrase the Humanist Manifesto- without supernaturalism, that stresses human agency, and affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity.

      I am an atheist because of this philosophy, and because I see no need to believe in the supernatural or religion when science is more than adequate for explaining the world and everything in it. I also see no proof that you have to have religion to be moral or to be a good and just person. Morality and goodness are not the sole domain of religion.

      I am an anthropologist by schooling and by temperment. I celebrate and embrace the differences in people. I abhor xenophobia, racism, sexism, and all forms of ethnocentrism. I believe cultural relativity is key to understanding others. I see value in exploring other cultures and worldviews, and how they handle their lives.

      I am an activist because I don’t believe problems get solved by being ignored or thinking that “it’s really not my place to say or do something.” It is our place to do what we can, as much as we can, to as many as we can to address the problems of the world.

      I am a musician because I see music as a universal language, and as a form of self expression that can express emotions and thoughts like no other art form. Music is a part of the natural world that humans have elaborated on and created a uniquely human form that can give expression to our inner mind. The power of music is about the closest thing to the supernatural that I believe in.

      I am also someone with a deep sense of curiosity, a driving need to help others, a strong sense of morality, a believer in the power of humor, and a seeker of truth. I like to think I’m a well rounded woman.

    • #616752

      I have always been  a sensitive artistic person and have been a writer, poet, musician, photographer, graphic artist and an art teacher. In school I was never good at sports but the one always called upon to do posters, murals or any other project that involved art.  I love music and am easily moved to tears by it, I will be found weeping during some part of a movie and actually love chick flicks. I’ll take any one of those over a typical action thriller.  I don’t have a macho bone or muscle anywhere in my body! I have successfully raised two children and had a wonderful lengthy marriage with a beautiful and understanding wife that was brought to an end by cancer.  I remarried several years ago but she has  difficulty understanding the needs of somebody who is considered transgender.  So I soldier on and find solace in my femininity and spend a lot of time with my art and music.










    • #617139

      I’m just your normal everyday guy who is more sensitive and emotional than probably most men. I work hard to provide for my family as to be expected.

      The only thing that makes me different on a daily basis is I always wear feminine undergarments.

      • #628703

        Same here Lacy.

        Nothing special to look at (me that is) but always wearing something underneath.

        Hugs X



    • #619479

      ..I regard myself as the “3rd option”

      – One may be the loneliest number, BUT…~ it has 3 letters…

      I see myself as ‘Universal”… undefined / uncategorized, but comfortable in my skin. (Now) *


    • #620689

      I would say I am just another imperfect human being on this road called life, trying to be the best human I can be without harming others. I try to be the best friend, relative, co-worker, employee, or girlfriend I can be, and hopefully make the lives of those I come into contact with a little better. I don’t always achieve these goals, but I do try as much as I can.

    • #621754

      Husband, father, son, brother, uncle, lawyer, athlete, passionate, empath, emotional, intellectual, proud, shy, moderate introvert, kinky, smart

    • #628677

      I am a retired tow truck/truck driver from Vermont now living in Florida. For years I kept my fetish for women’s lingerie and clothing confined to wearing nightgowns. Now you will find me dressed in panties under my work clothes running a chainsaw, working on my ’51 Chevy, and remodeling our house. In the evening I get dressed totally enfemme from dinner time to bed. I love that I have shed the burden of having to claim to be of one gender or the other, and go with whatever personna I fell like. I only wish my wife and I felt comfortable with going out in public.

      • #715818

        51 chev, cool we ( holly, Lola , and I ) accept you as a C3.  Car crazy cutie.

    • #628891

      Yes, we are a diverse group. I have spent most of my adult life as an administrator in government, academic, health care and non-profit organizations.

    • #629270

      I’m retired from being a self employed residential homebuilder/remodeler and having a couple other side businesses over the years. I wasn’t always self employed although that was the majority of my work history but I think I had an interesting history that included being in the military, a branch manager, a law enforcement officer, a delivery truck driver, a home inspector, a prison guard, and a custom furniture builder. I’m very happy to be retired now and having the time to explore what has been living inside me all my life… a girl who just wanted to be herself. I am thankful I don’t have to run in the hectic, competitive, rat race every day… life is good… now back to my nap.

    • #654118
      BobbiJo C

      I’m a father of 3,grandfather of 14, husband of 46 years, electrician for 48 yrs, contractor for 30 yrs, scout leader for 25 yrs, baseball coach for 10 yrs, church member for 64 yrs, mentor, and now have started transitioning after a very long journey with the SUPPORT OF ALL OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
      Otherwise perfectly normal.
      BobbiJo C

    • #654131

      I am who and what I am and have no desire to label myself.


    • #711338

      I am who I am. Truck driver, fire fighter, Army veteran, security guard, construction worker and a farmer. Being able to live how I want is a great joy to me. When I do get the chance to go out dressed I present myself as a lady and act accordingly. I have had nothing but positive reactions

      • #711761

        I am also a firefighter,EMT formerly a farmer and military!
        I spend a lot of time in Bates Boots, duty uniform and cap!
        At home mostly and a few times out with wife…I am me Lisa; a soft gentle lady with a gentle touch and huge heart! So happy dressed and happy! Love being me!

      • #711765

        Allyson! Got a tip that has worked for me and I can see it working for any in high temp jobs!
        With the PCBs we are exposed to, 2 years ago we have to take showers after each structure fire and clean duty uniforms! I wear panties 24/7 and usually good at off with duty trousers but got caught and only one comment but off the top of my head I replied; some guys wear tighty-whities and I assume rest boxers! Stay damp or wet down there for maybe 45 minutes at least!
        I choose to wear panties so they dry in 15-20 minutes and no irritation from undies unlike what you wear! Surprisingly one of female firefighters found out and complimented me on subject!
        Hope subject material wasn’t offensive!

    • #711446
      Tanya Jay

      I am a Christian, I am hopelessly in love with my beautiful wife of 19 years. I am a father to 2 young daughters. I am a older brother, a son, a cousin, nephew, uncle and friend. To be honest, I am “that guy”. When things gets tough I will make the hard decision. I am a employer and buisness owner. I am a gambler, and a leader. The things that I do, and decisions I make affect many more than just me, and I feel the importance of the weight, that role carry’s. I do find a small amount of distraction by my hobby, and this is the reason I feel like I have been put in a situation where I will never be able to get to involved with my crossdressing. It would be much to easy to run and hide in a world that is comforting and beautiful, when I have so many that depend on me to be the person I have to be to make all of this work. That being said it is a place of mental solace to adopt a more nurturing and submissive mindset from time to time as a way to detach and come back with a fresh attitude. I could be a very hurtful and depressing person to be around, if I stayed submerged in my other personality constantly. I think that my interest in something so far from my normal personality, is Gods way of helping me learn to emphasize, and try to look beyond the day to day and see the importance of people and that sometimes our biggest flaws can also be a huge asset if used correctly.

      • #711456

        I definitely can relate having been a LEO leader, and type A personality I  have lived the life you are living thanks for sharing.

      • #711762
        Emily Rae

        Very well said, and I can totally relate as I am similar to what you describe.  Although not a business owner, I am a leader of a global company in the US and I can relate to the responsibility I hold for others under my watch. I do believe my femme side is very present in my day to day interactions with people so I believe I’m a passionate and empathetic person in a male dominated industry

    • #711772

      Who am I?  What a great question.

      I am an Engineer, parent of a 22 year old engineering student, parter of 34 years. Wood worker, Yogi, student of the Toyota production system, Teacher, Buddhist,  cyclist, runner, and A lover of fashion.

      Weather I am male or female, all the other things I am are still true.


    • #715811
      Carlie Blanche-Dubois
      Princess - Annual

      Technically, since I just recently allowed “Carla” to exist permanently at age 66, I guess you can call me (excuse the intentional pun) a late bloomer! I am retired 12 years aka “gainfully unemployed” and worked 34 years in IT for the American government (Medicare). I love movies and am a poster/memorabilia collector. Music has been the biggest influence in my life. I love classical, jazz & blues. I am a major fan of film soundtracks. BUT nothing compares to live metal shows. Last June, at the age of 66, I crowd surfed at one of the largest metal festivals in Europe (Download) in front of 100,000 head banging metal heads! Because of my love for an Italian metal band called “Lacuna Coil”, I now have famiglia all over Italia and visit there often. I even drive on the “correct” side of the road in the UK ;)! I go to bi-weekly movie viewings at a friend’s home theater with several close friends who know I am Trans and at 67, I am the youngest in the group! So many other facets to this old rough cut “cubic zirconia” called Carla/Charlie! Because I have both Carla & Charlie in me, I’ve chosen a nickname by combining the first half of Carla with the last half of Charlie. So, Ladies….please call me “Carlie”. Thank you Vanessa for EVERYTHING you went through to be there for all of us, particularly to this shy old gal! xx

    • #715827

      Husband of 54 years, father of 3, grandfather of 9, working life in the automotive world, life long student of military history, veteran, and volunteer now that I’m retired.  Let me tell you the auto world I worked in  was pool of testosterone.  We were so starved to even see a woman that we often acted juvenile.    Love women and love trying to emulate them also, it’s best of both  worlds.         Finally I would like to thank all my vet sisters  for their service to our great country.  You are so many , I use this to thank you all individually.  Please try to help our vet brothers and sisters as the fight the physical and mental demons every day.

    • #715832

      Who am i, that is the question, I’m a father of 3 a grandfather of 7 and a great grandfather of 1 , I’m a husband of 51 years and not till i retired 4 years ago did i actually take any notice of my poor wife who had to bring up our 3 children on her own basically, I was always mostly at work trying to get the money to pay for all the bills and feed the family, over the years my time as Roz was very limited, for a few years before the lock downs i could have the odd few days to open the closet door and let Roz see the light I’m hoping that this year and the years to come i can start opening the closet door more often X

      Hugs Rozalyn X

      I would just like to take some time to thank my sister’s who served in the military, I didn’t serve myself but thank you all for your service X



      • #715890
        Carlie Blanche-Dubois
        Princess - Annual

        A line from a 1969 song by the band Steppinwolf: “It’s never too late to start all over again” 💋 xx

        • #715915

          Thanks very much Carla, sometimes i wish i had the courage to come out of the closet fully,

          Hugs Roz X

          • #716085
            Carlie Blanche-Dubois
            Princess - Annual

            Dear Roz,

            I am 67, retired form 34 years with Medicare…now I’m on it lol!. I live by myself and have suffered for years, the awful and painful cycle of purging:

            1. Buy a few panties, bras, clothing, etc.
            2. Feeling shame, self-loathing, fear of discovery.
            3. Return or donate the items.
            4. Sense of relief in returning to a “normal” lifestyle followed by a bout of depression.

            I suffered this for years with “the itch” returning stronger each time.  Last spring, it returned stronger than ever.  I decided that I had to break this vicious cycle and give Carla a permanent place in my life.  I got an LGBTQ based therapist.  I feel that I have both a woman and a man in me.  That would explain why at the age of four, I kept getting caught in my mom’s lingerie drawer.  Nothing else could explain why I fell in love with and had a desire to wear lace and satin at four years.

            So….over the past weeks, I have come out to many friends on both the straight and the LGBTQ side.  Last week, I went to my 71 year old sister’s house on my 67th birthday and came out to her and her husband and their 50 year old son.  THAT was my biggest fear…of dying someday in my lingerie and having my family go into my house and see “my stuff”!  Contrary to all my anxiety and fear, they were very accepting of Carla.  I told my sister that she now had both a brother and a sister.

            I am still completely in the closet when it comes to being dressed outside.  I wear a bra and panties everyday under my clothes when out and about, but yesterday, I went to my sister’s for dinner.   I guess you can say that I went out as CD.  I had a bra (no inserts), panties, women’s jeans, women’s “AERO” t-shirt, women’s sneakers,…  purple and lavender colors.   I still was a guy, but was much more feminine…..Carla   They were just fine with me.  Since I have Carla in me and Charlie, I combine both of them into my Fem nickname: “Carlie”!

            So, at a late age, I am doing as you are doing…..letting Carla open her “closet door”.

            As an “old guy/new gal, I can say with tongue firmly implanted in cheek: “I am a late bloomer!”



          • #716127

            Hi Carla if i was single again and i was to get a divorce i would live as Roz 24/7 , I would have to move away to somewhere no one knew me, I would purge all my man clothes and have all my Fem clothes in my wardrobe, I’m not sure if i would transition fully though i think I’m a bit too old to fully transition, I would like to try estrogen to see if it gave me more of a feminine figure it would be lovely to have a more of a female shape X

            Hugs Rozalyn X

          • #716528
            Carlie Blanche-Dubois
            Princess - Annual

            I also want to feminize my body, but do not want to transition fully.

            I am asking my therapist and looking into self-feminization using HRT.  I am currently taking “Pueraria Mirifica”. It’s an extract from a plant in Thailand that is claimed to be able to soften skin, for nail health, and promote breast growth.  All of my reading says that the jury is out on how effective it is.  I’ve been taking it for 4 months.  I’ve noticed more sensitivity in my nipples, which are also in perpetual state of “perkiness” for lack of a better word lol.

            Just sharing my experience.  Always do research on these kinds of supplements and weigh the pros vs. the cons.

          • #716581

            Hi Carla thanks for sharing your story with me, I think I’m a little like you i also think I’ve got male and female inside me, As I’ve gotten older my female side has gotten stronger when I’m out shopping i seem to look more at female clothes in the stores, the thing is that I’m very limited to what i can do because I’m married, I’m a bit overweight so I’ve got some man boob’s and my wife is always saying if they get any bigger i will need to wear a bra maybe i should call her bluff and say ok let’s go and buy one, lol X

            Hugs Rozalyn X

          • #716647
            Carlie Blanche-Dubois
            Princess - Annual

            I like your style! 🙂

          • #716653

            There’s no harm in trying is there Carla, it might start with her buying me a bra and ending up with buying me more Fem clothes you never know X

            Hugs X

    • #716541

      Wow! I love the queation. Who I am is of less import than who I am becoming. I am the sum of all my decisions good and bad. I am the wise choices and my regrets.

      • #770133

        Love this response! I so agree it isn’t who I am but rather who I am becoming. The past is the past and I want to focus on the future. For me it is a more authentic version of myself. While my outward appearance and how I present myself to the world is changing, the person I am inside is not. The exception to this is that as I move more toward my feminine self, I am becoming calmer and more at peace with the world and myself.

    • #764222

      Who am I? I’m a husband of 13 years. A father of 1 and a stepfather of 2. A grandfather of 1. A dog dad of 3 amazing German Shepherd’s. I’m a veteran, an inspector for an electric utility company, a state certified EMT and Reserve Firefighter. I am both my male half and Nichole half every day. I wear women’s undergarments daily concealed by my work clothes. It allows me to keep my feminine side alive daily and reminds me how amazing I feel as Nichole. The thought of fully transitioning is not something I think about, although the fantasy of surgeries or hormone therapy is there just for the mere fact of having my own real breasts and no need for breasts forms anymore. Yet I enjoy the ability to live almost two separate lives. I will never take the husband away from my wife nor shall I remove the father figure from my children. I love and support all of you wonderful ladies on here and whatever your choices may be. I am happy and ecstatic to be part of this community and family on CDH. Who am I; I am Me and Nichole all at the same time!

    • #764235
      Emily Shy

      This is quite a good question but I have to say first and foremost I’m a person.

      But yes I’m a Crossdresser! And that is my label I use.  I don’t do it fully often but underdress when ever I can. I’m not interested in transition so I don’t see transvestite fits but would like bigger boobs (not much mind you) I’m not gay or full bi but yet I’m curious so not sure on that label. Unfortunately there is no official label that’s describes me and looking for group meets of people who fit my bill don’t exist so I have to roll with the stereotypical ‘trans gay guy’

      I would like acceptance but not wanting crossdressing to be the norm either because the taboo aspect is part of the appeal for me. Hope I answered the original post correctly and not waffled on. xx

      • This reply was modified 5 months ago by Emily Shy.
    • #764238

      Always risky responding to an 8-year old thread, but the question is good enough to warrant it! I am large, I contain multitudes. Topping the list, father to an amazing 21 year-old daughter. My marriage to her mother wasn’t awesome and dragged on a lot longer than it should have, but I’d do it all again to have my daughter. I’m now married to a woman I love so much that I didn’t know this kind of thing was possible; she’s an incredible supporter and ally of my crossdressing/nonbinary journey. Then there’s all the other things: Educator, Counselor, Artist/Animator, Musician, Writer, Son, Brother, Motorcycle Nut, Bicyclist, Wannabe Adventurer, World Traveler, Sailor, Baritone, Wine Aficionado, Cook, and reformed homebrewer. I’m 57, in my fifth (or so) career of education, following 17 years making videogames, a career in the wine trade before that, a career in the specialty coffee business, and a brief foray into being a professional musician.

      “The past and present wilt- I have fill’d

      them, emptied them.

      And proceed to fill my next fold of the future.”

      -Walt Whitman

    • #764263

      First off great question along with some great answers ladies.

      Who am I? Wow, this takes a little soul searching. Like so many others I am a man, a husband (40+ years), a father “Daddy”, a grandfather “Poppy”, a son, a brother, a friend, a stranger, and underneath it all I’m a crossdresser. I have worked behind the scenes for 40+ years in broadcasting and post-production of radio, TV and corporate. I’m a producer, a director, an editor, a techie, now I am retired. I am a 5 year cancer survivor, but I always feel it’s not over. I like painting, writing and photography, just don’t do it enough. Then deep inside is a totally different world where I am Lisa.

      (The rest was rather long, so I posted it on my wall if you care to read on)

    • #764359

      Who am I? I am Lauren, that is my real, given name, not a pen name. I am an intersex woman who has embraced who she truly is, who she was born as and always knew it. I have transitioned, and departed from the part of my life where I was always pretending to be a male but often a failure at the role.

      Hugs girls,

      Ms. Lauren M

    • #764432

      Off the top and all along I’ve never felt that a “crossdresser” actually fits into the whole LGBTQ structure. I’m not sure where of if they (we/I) do.

      Currently, I wear womens clothes, except for a matching (mens) shirt to what I’m wearing. Always stylish and has to go with everything else I’m wearing, down to my (femme) shoes.

      I currently do not wear makeup or a wig. I do wear jewelry to match (womens jewelry) and will probably soon get my ears pierced. I want to progress more into wearing more and will.

      But my point is, I don’t feel like there is a place for a “crossdresser”, which I am, in the current definition of things.

      I a me, who I am, trying to be as authentic (to myself and to others) as I can be or dare at times!

      I’ll throw in one more factor as well. My age. It definitely plays a part. Other than here at CDH, it is difficult to find resources etc, for people in my age group, without being related to porn. (not a knock against porn). When ever I find / see anything it is all geared to 20 somethings, and I’m a 60 something.

      Note I am not complaining, just stating my point of view.

      Thank you for the thought and topic!
      Love and hugs,

    • #770147

      It’s so great that this thread has continued throughout the years because I think it’s very important for those of us that are new to the site and as a reminder for all of us that have been here a while.

      To support even further about us being more than a label is the fact that when you start to meet of the people like us what you will find is an amazing group of people. No doubt being able to relate to us plays a huge part and why we are so connected but the kindness, compassion, love and friendship that I have experienced from meeting people on the site equals if not exceeds the friendships I have that started when I was in grade school. One of my sayings is that you surround yourself with people that fill your cup not empty yet. That has happened so much with the friends that I’ve met and CDH.  We should never be ashamed of who we are!


    • #770289

      “Who are you, when your identity is not confined to be transgender?” Vanessa

      So far, I don’t view myself as being anyone other than myself. No matter what I am wearing.

      If you do a search for the phrase, “clothes makes the”, you don’t just get “clothes makes the man” as the result. You also get girl and woman.

    • #203277

      As a fan of heavy metal, I leave the bad bits in my music. All the dark stuff I don’t really want to talk about.

      It’s therapeutic to me, and I hope that, by sharing, others realise it’s not just them that feel that way, and by letting it out, you can put the goodness into your life!

      Just a different take on the function of music – which, after all, is communication as well as art, and a very, very rich sound world it is.

      It would be a pity to confine oneself to a single corner.

      As someone who read for an honours degree, I have certainly heard and enjoyed a very wide spectrum. It’s not all “Classical” music.

      Love Laura

    • #203288

      i remember a quote attributed to Leonard Bernstein as he was honored at the Kennedy Center.  A reporter asked what kind of music he liked expecting doubtless some answer like Baroque or Romantic.  Instead the maestro responded, “I like good music and that can be found in all genre.”  People forget he composed for Broadway and the movies as well as deep classical.  i enjoy many types of music from Gregorian chants to Rock to Celtic to Bagpipes and hard classical depending on my mood and need at the time.  Just as i express my masculine self sometimes and my more feminine side at others.  

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