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  • #421869
    Sara Scarlet
    Participant
    Registered On: December 18, 2020
    Topics: 2
    Replies: 2
    Has thanked: 26 times
    Been thanked: 50 times

    As some of you know, I have only recently joined this forum. Forgive me if this comes out as something of a ramble because it’s quite hard to organise my thoughts on this. I have been dressing since my mid teens (a good number of years ago now) and absolutely no one is aware of it and I have never spoken to another soul about it.

    Yet, here I am now on a forum, about to talk about who I am to a group of strangers.

    I’ve no idea why I started dressing. I think at first it was because I wanted to feel what the clothes felt like. I found it a exciting to dress. I guess I still do. I have heard users on here from what I’ve read call it “the pink fog” and I think this is a highly accurate description of what it feels like. I can go months or, have in the past, gone years without dressing, all though I have had a thought or two from time to time. Then, all of a sudden, it seems to take over.

    I have only ever dressed in private and never to a very deep level of transformation. Clothes, a little make up and a wig is about the limit of it. In the past I did have a female mask which makes it so much easier as you don’t have to try to get the look. I could never go out dressed like some of you amazing ladies on here do. Believe me, with my height and shape, I couldn’t pass for a lady even if it was only in a room of blind women.

    I’m quite comfortable with who I am. I don’t feel as if I’ve been born in to the wrong body but at the same time, I often fantasise about what it would be like to live as a women, if even for a short while.

    As for my sexuality, I have only ever slept with women but if I was ever pressed I think I would have to say that my feelings are that, I could be considered bi-sexual. I’m curious to know but not so much that it’s something I feel I have to do to be complete.

    Though I don’t want to talk about my private life, it’s enough to say I’m very, very happy.

    I feel incredibly nervous about typing all of this and at the same time, strangely excited by it.

    I know it’s a random stream of thoughts but it is who I am.

    Thanks for reading it. Sara. X.

     

Viewing 9 reply threads
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    • #423638
      Bridgette VonSmirff
      Lady
      Registered On: October 18, 2020
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 449
      Has thanked: 7375 times
      Been thanked: 1792 times

      Merry Christmas… season at least. This is a wonderful safe place to express your feelings, frustrations and desires along the CD road we all travel. Since finding it, I’ve found that I’m not the weirdo I thought I was, I’m just me. You be you. You’re the only one who can, and if you never take the chance to fully be you, whoever you are, then you’ll have never been.

      Bridgette vS

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #423492
      Clara Cross
      Lady
      Registered On: December 7, 2020
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 137
      Has thanked: 371 times
      Been thanked: 619 times

      Welcome Sara. Can I just tell you, I can relate! It can certainly be more than a little frightening to try to understand our own cross dressing when we live it isolated and hidden away. I also shared your hesitance to jump in on CDH and to declare my crossdressing to “strangers” on the internet. Almost as scary as crossdressing in the first place.

      You’ve already seen the outpouring of support from all the lovely ladies here. I encourage you to embrace and use that support to give you the confidence that comes with knowing you are not alone. But always remember, you are you, free to follow whatever path calls to you.

      So glad to have you here,
      Clara

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #423491
      Sara Scarlet
      Lady
      Registered On: December 18, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 2
      Has thanked: 26 times
      Been thanked: 50 times

      Thanks everyone for the thanks, the wonderful comments and the feedback. Lots of love. Sara. X.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #423103
      Trisha Lilly Hibbert
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 8, 2020
      Topics: 23
      Replies: 444
      Has thanked: 2657 times
      Been thanked: 1583 times

      Hi Sara.

      You sound like a lovely woman. I’ve just started X dressing myself. Went out last week in women’s jeans and boots and a lycra top under a drab jumper. No one noticed. They’re all too wrapped up in there own world. Just remember the pockets in women’s jeans are terrible. Lost my card because of them. Guess what I’m saying is if you want to there’s ways to espress your femininity in public without being noticed. I feel a hell of slot more confident now because of it.

      Love Trish

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #422959
      Sandy Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 401
      Has thanked: 823 times
      Been thanked: 1745 times

      Hi Sara.  Keep reading here and sharing your own story,  everyone is so supportive.  For myself, I am an early riser, up usually at 5 am or a little earlier.  I first went out of the house walking outside to the garage or 2 or 3 houses down the block.  In the late spring I moved to driving to a nearby Interstate rest stop at sunrise and sitting a park bench reading for 15 to 20 min.  By Sept I stepped up to going to Ulta to get my hair colored ( wanted to cover the gray in my now shoulder length hair) dressed fully in fem.

      What I am saying is maybe start with something small and moving to something a little more as you feel you can and want to .  It can be so satisfying and another little step can make it so much more comfortable to just be you and acceptance is possible.

      Sandy

    • #422908
      Cindy Lou
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 18, 2020
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 431
      Has thanked: 1852 times
      Been thanked: 2000 times

      Merry Christmas Sara, and welcome. As you spend more time here you will discover how much we all share in common. Everyone who graces this forum quickly discovers what a friendly and accepting place this is, in fact very often people come here with an extremely open attitude in the first place, ready to divulge their innermost secrets and desires to strangers due to their anonymity, soon many of those same strangers become friends. I hope you will stick around because you have so much to gain here.

    • #422902
      Tabitha Tee
      Lady
      Registered On: July 30, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 291
      Has thanked: 1340 times
      Been thanked: 960 times

      Hi, Sara! You sound a lot like me. Rest assured this is a great place to meet supportive people who can relate to what you’re feeling.

    • #422899
      Bianca Everdene
      Lady
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 720
      Has thanked: 2764 times
      Been thanked: 2766 times

      Hi Sara

      Welcome to the site. Hope you have fun exploring and stick around.

      Who are you?

      A wonderful person buried under a lifetime of masculinity, being who you are supposed to be because of societal gender stereotypes and expectations, not who you want to be.

      ❤️Bianca

    • #421954
      Robyn Devine
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 24, 2020
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 591
      Has thanked: 1877 times
      Been thanked: 2514 times

      Sara

      Thank you for sharing your story with us. 🤗❤️

      How do you feel now that you’ve put it out there in the open?  Doesn’t it feel great to just “put it out there?”  I can say you share a lot in common with many of us Girls here.  Many of us including myself have walked a similar path to get here.

      As many Girls here will also say…dont worry about passing, worry about confidence in yourself to go out in the world.  Im 6 ft flat footed.  I love 3-4 heels and boots and the handful of times Ive gone out, its been great.  Alice is right…most people are too absorbed in what they are doing to care.

      It is very nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time.  Its a path your feminine side has wanted to walk probably most of your life and now your finally going to do it.  We will certainly cheer you on and support you.  Questions are always welcome, dont be shy.

      HUGS – Robyn 🤗❤️

    • #421877
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 2707
      Has thanked: 1893 times
      Been thanked: 5451 times

      Hi Sara,

      Thanks for sharing.  I know what you mean about ones shape and never being able to pass.  I’m about 6’ tall and have been overweight all my life.  But dressing has always been wonderful.  The feelings are fabulous and it’s a pleasure to wear a dress and woman’s shoes and all that goes with it.

      I’ve found when I’m out dressed most men are so absorbed in their own thoughts they don’t notice.  Some women might smile but often will pass on by.  Most situations are welcoming.  The scary part is leaving your home and getting to one’s car.  But once you are at your destination I can enjoy a cup of coffee, a restaurant meal, or browsing at a store.  With the pandemic things are different but going out can still be thrilling.

      Alice

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