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    • #466847
      Hippie
      Lady

      Who said a crossdresser has to look like a women to crosdress? I am here to say, ” You Don’t Have To Look Female To Crossdress!” Look those that know me and a few of you know me in my real life. You know I don’t hide my male form and crossdress openly and in public.

      Think about GG’s. See how they dress for everyday life. They wear jeans, sneakers and tee shirts. And yet they dont try to look like a man.

      So why do we have to look female to wear female clothing? I will be the first one to tell you. You don’t need to look female to enjoy female clothing.

      Hippie

    • #466874
      Dawn Wyvern
      Managing Ambassador

      There are no rules, no boundaries and no measurements.

      Uniqueness is all that matters and being comfortable being the best ‘you’ you can be

      Hugs

      Dawn

    • #466875

      Hi Hippie

      Nobody said it. You be your own wonderful self. Love your confidence Hippie.

      I think many do go to the extremely feminine end of the spectrum. Things we are traditionally denied as males, just to experience this wonderful ‘extreme’ femininity- stilettos, skirts, dresses, sexy lingerie, long wigs, make up, nail polish, fancy purses, perfume, etc etc. Mostly in private, for fear of ridicule or embarrassment or causing angst to those nearest and dearest to us. And I have been there and love it. But you are right most women just go about their day in jeans, sneakers, pants, tees, knitwear, no make up or nail polish or purse, basically the same as men, an if that’s what they want that’s fine. But I think if that’s all we wanted why bother being here. Most here love and want to share their love of all those overtly feminine things, a physical expression of our burgeoning, often suppressed feminine side. And releasing these feelings and expressing it physically is just such a joy for many.

      I also feel for some it is a kind of disguise. To try to look as close to their feminine ‘ideal’ as possible to go out into the big wide world. Hoping that being able to ‘pass’ as female will draw less attention and just be able to relax and go about your day.

      You are a shining example of just going for it, wearing whatever the hell you want and if people have a problem with it it’s there problem. And you have your wonderful accepting wife by your side. I’m sure many here aspire to having your confidence, and I read stories daily here about tiny steps, sometimes huge leaps, coming out more expressing our wonderful obsession in our daily life.

      Stay golden Hippie, I know it’s not your point, but you are an inspiration.

      ❤️Bianca

       

      • #466988

        Wait- no measurements?  Okay there’s going to be a line for the fitting room!  Ooh maam if you don’t like that dress, I’ll try it!

        • #467035
          Anonymous

          Most of the fitting rooms are open here, now (except Kohl’s; and I find I really enjoy using them as an aspect of being Bettylou.

      • #467232

        That, my dear Miss Everdene, was extremely well put.

        Clara

      • #467238

        Darling Bianca,

        I do so agree with Clara… well put and particularly to the point. The biggest step I took was realising that I didn’t need to particularly well made up to be out and about for everyday chores and stuff.
        However, I, personally, like to present well! I did as a man albeit in a studied dishevelled look.
        Somewhere… along the long line of stereotypes there is a point where crossdressing crosses over into a certain transition of male to female without HRT and sex reassignment.
        I’ve always trod my own path with fashion… ever since high school. Some of my clothing styles have been feminine in appearance (but Glam Rock will do that!) but I have always felt confident in my choices.
        I never, consciously, dressed as a woman though. Sometimes androgynous, sometimes OTT but never as a woman!
        Now, however, I get up in the morning and the first act is to dress in my feminine clothing… without thought. It has become something I’m far more comfortable with nowadays. A quick slip, slap, slop… a slash of lippy, a wee touch of mascara and… the day is mine!

        Keeping up appearances, Polly

        • #467394
          Anonymous

          Polly Stewart wrote: “Somewhere… along the long line of stereotypes there is a point where crossdressing crosses over into a certain transition of male to female without HRT and sex reassignment.” Yes, it does, Polly; and it’s so subtle that it may be awhile before you realize that you have crossed over. That’s how it was for me.

          Hugs,
          Bettylou

    • #466878

      Not me, Hippie!

      Cross dressing is one thing, female impersonation another, a drag queen something else, a transitioning person, a creative person after a look, a person who feels like a woman inside and needs to express that – or even combinations.

      The uniting element is the interest in clothing designed for the “opposite sex”.

      A debatable term…

      Love Laura

    • #466882
      Peta Mari
      Lady

      Do we look like a woman to dress, or do we dress to look like a woman?

      Do we feel like we are a woman, and therefore dress, or do we dress to feel like a woman?

      So many questions. So many variety of answers…

       

      • #466883

        So true Mary Jane. I think the answer varies a little for each one of us AND THAT’S OK. 🤗

      • #466899
        Alice Black
        Duchess

        Mary Jane,

        I liked the conundrum way you expressed yourself. Sort1 of like Shakespeare’s to be or not to be that is question. Well put.

         

        Alice Black

    • #466889
      Anonymous

      Hi Hippie.

      There are so many elements related to crossdressing…

      So let me focus on one only. Intent. Maybe the one thing I disagree the most about when people say that “women get to crossdress every day and nobody cares”. I’d say that in my opinion they are not trying to look like men when they do, and this is also basically because for the most part, they are already wearing “boyfriend jeans, boyfriend shirts” and many other “men’s styles” made and designed for women. So, with few occasional and few intentional exceptions, they are not wearing men’s clothes.
      Having said that, at some point for many of us crossdressing went far beyond from “just” wearing women’s clothes. And I mentioned before, even if designers started releasing lines of men’s dresses, skirts, lingerie, etc all “for men”, I’d stay away from those for sure.
      So, those who, like you, enjoy wearing whatever clothes you are in the mood for, more power to you! I believe you have better chances of getting mainstream acceptance because most people can understand that “those womens clothes” are nicer, softer, prettier than “mens clothes”. While understanding why men may be wanting to be women is still very hard to understand for way too many.

      So, your motivations may be very different than mine, but I do appreciate the message you send out because I’m sure that there are others who feel like you do but they may get caught on how what they want (be able to wear whatever they want) has been bundled up with gender related “transgressions” by society.

      Gabriela

    • #466891
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      I love to look like a woman when I dress. It’s like my long time fantasies to wear what women wear, look like a woman, act like a woman, experience being a woman and do things I love seeing women do. When I was only partially dressing, it was scary but exciting at first, then I wanted to do more for the entire experience and live out dreams and fantasies

    • #466902
      Alice Black
      Duchess

      Simply put. I just like to wear woman’s clothes – their look and their feel. How close I can get myself to looking like a woman is another story. And still, another story is can I master all the feminine mannerisms if and when I would decide to go out in public. Actually, probably the most I wlll do is try to gather a group of my CDH local chapter friends together and meet at a restaurant or where ever. And even that is an effort.

       

      Alice Black

    • #466911
      Anonymous
      1. Hippie.

      Everyone on CDH is trying to create…something.

      but we all go about it in lots of different ways…it’s just being comfortable in your own mind with the finished article.

      I guess we all have a goal of how we want to look…there’s nothing written down anywhere about what that look should be.

      I love my image, it’s how I feel comfortable and I really need to be the ” girl” or as near as I can get to her….

      maybe the fact is that grace isn’t copying anyone…..they are all trying to look like me!!!!

      Smiles, grace xx

      • #466915
        Anonymous

        I would love to look like you, Grace….but I’m a few decades late for that.

        Hugs,
        Bettylou

        • #466918
          Anonymous

          Thank you !!!!…..

          Bettylou….you are just lovely as you are…. ❤️❤️❤️

      • #466927
        Hippie
        Lady

        I agree with you 99%, why not a 100%, because I need that 1% to do my nails.
        Hippie

      • #467380

        👏👍😂🤩

    • #466913

      Hi Hippy great post as Stephanie I feel like a woman inside and when dressed I try to emulate the woman that’s inside me  as close as I can .. I still have the manly side that I have to uphold for work and when the wife needs the honey doos done ha ha .. Where I live it will never be aloud as going out as a old farmer rancher area with old values so a community that dosent allow change so I cant wear femme things and get away with them  but around the house meaning inside wife dosent care what I wear as Stephanie or hubby she says let us all live together .. She is nit much of a girly girl as Stephanie is so I make up for her not dressing the part when I dress as she says one of us has to look like a woman around here so I jump on that ha ha  ..

      Stephanie bass

      • #466929
        Hippie
        Lady

        I know about the farmer/rancher life and the old world views. I to am a farmer, but I am fighting the old world thinkig here. After so many yrs of fighting back. They now starting to accept me, I just won’t back down.

        Hippie

        • #466936

          I agree with you Hippy but at same time I moved here 15 years ago and just now being accepted as a friend here so cant quite push things yet ..  Others have tried it as a couple of dressers moved about 5 miles away from me and never got to meet them as they were pretty much chased away from the area it was a shame they were here only a couple of weeks like said never got to meet them and packed up and moved away sold home and gone ..

          Stephanie

    • #466921
      Becka
      Lady

      This is an excellent point!!

      In my form of dress I’m not wearing make up or have my nails painted, I would like to, but I think I make it a point to look good in what I’m wearing.

      My wife comments a lot about how “dressed up” I am compared to her. She will have on leggings and a top, comfy shoes and I’ll be wearing my skinny jeans, booties or my casual womens flat loafers, a “cool” shirt to match and a jacket if it’s cold enough. (Love my jackets!) Of course I’m “fully dressed” under it all.

      But I’m that way when dressed in DRAB. Very “put together”

      Again however, I’d love to go out full blown dressed to include a wig and full make up at some point.

      Love the topic, Hippie!

    • #466941

      Hi Hippie.
      I agree, you dont have to look female to cross dress, and would advise anyone and everyone, to only do what makes them happy.
      However, that being said, I am finding the more I DO, make myself more feminine, the more I like it? The feelings ratchet up, every time I try something new, and become more fem.
      So, in my case, I am discovering it is sooo much more than just crossdressing. Do I want to transition? no, not at this time, but am I enjoying this feeling of being, more woman? most definitely, and I am so excited to see where it takes me next.
      Just my opinion,
      Hugs, Regi👩💕

    • #466945
      Anonymous

      Interesting thought, Hippie.

      We shouldn’t have to justify how we dress, and I have gone out as just a guy in a denim skirt, and I’m not alone. But which came first; the egg or the chicken? When I first began Dressing, I just wanted to do it…no specific reason. Now, that want has graduated to a need, and I can see that I want to dress like a girl because I feel like a girl; it’s a reflection of how I see myself in my mind’s eye. And of course, I want to look the part as well as dress the part.

      Hugs,
      Bettylou

    • #466973
      Eona Oh
      Lady

      As an underdresser it’s all about how I feel rather than how I look. I don’t shave my legs or any other part of my body but I still feel like a million bucks in a pair of stockings and heels. I look like a man in women’s panties.

    • #466996

      Of course no one said you have to look like a woman in order to crossdress.  Even wikipedia says “Cross-dressing is the act of wearing items of clothing not commonly associated with one’s sex.

      If I am at home alone, I’m perfectly fine in just wearing women’s clothes without having to go all the way.  But I realized very early on that if I want to go outdoors in women’s clothing, I’m much better off looking like a woman.

      If I go out in obvious women’s clothing, like a skirt or dress, or flowery top, but otherwise look like a man, I will draw attention to myself.  People will pause and look, and perhaps laugh at me, or perhaps shun me.  If I see someone I know, they will question me, and likely tell others in the same circle who will question me, and this will go on for a while.  Some may accept it, and others may not.  But I still have to be part of the community, and it would definitely make uncomfortable,  even if it didn’t feel embarrassed or ridiculed by it.  And when I first started, I did have these feelings.  Even today I usually don’t want to draw attention to myself.   If I’m dressing like less only 1% of other women, it isn’t too far out of context I can still get away with it.

      However, if I go out looking like a woman in woman’s clothes, most people won’t give me a second look.  Over time I have learned enough mannerisms to fool most people on appearances, even if I have on just a minimal amount of makeup (enough to cover my facial hair).  Of course, in the last year I will wear a more feminine mask instead of makeup if I’m around people.  If I pass by someone I know but in an different context (such as passing a co-worker in a store as opposed to seeing them at work), they are very unlikely to recognize me because at first glance they will see a woman, then go back to their own thoughts of what they need.

      Over the years I have actually learned to enjoy myself fully presenting as a woman when out.  And perhaps I have taken a few steps into the chasm that is the “gender divide.”  Not that I’ve closed it much, but it has opened up a teeny bit of understanding of what women go through.

    • #467021

      I always wondered why they even have this division between men’s and women’s clothing. I mean, when you think about it, there is nothing inherent in a dress, pantyhose, makeup, or even panties, that says that they have to be the sole domain of GGs. I say wear what you want and what makes you feel good about yourself. The old saying that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” has been around for so long for a good reason. How you look will always be subjective, and there will always be someone who says you look great, and someone who says you look horrible. Therefore, how we look is not as relevant as we sometimes think. We’ll never please everyone anyway, so why not please yourself?

    • #467036
      Anonymous

      Hi Hippie i know for a fact that i don’t look female when I’m dressed as Rozalyne, I’ve always been under the impression that I’m a man wearing female clothes,

      Just once though I’ve had a desire to have a professional makeover with a professional photographer taking pictures of me as Roz just to know what it feels like to actually look more like a woman x

      There’s a place not far from where i live that does 4 hour makeovers for cross-dresser’s they do everything from your hair to your makeup and your nails then they take pictures of your day so you can keep a memory of it I’m hoping it will still be there after the lock down x

      Hugs Rozalyne x

    • #467206

      Requal is just a man occasionally wishes to get in touch with his feminine side and who enjoys the comfort of feminine apparel.

    • #467222

      Hi Hippie

       

      I must admit that I do try to have the appearance of a woman when I dress.  Not just dresses and skirts and blouses.  I wear all kinds of items and find as much pleasure in them as I do dresses, etc.  When I can look in the mirror and see a woman, I really enjoy it.

    • #467223
      Amy Myers
      Baroness

      I know that there is a desire among many to “pass”, some consider it the Holy Grail, but of course you don’t have too if that’s not what you want. Of course we are all crossdressers, but there is a huge variation in what clothes we enjoy, and what is important to us.

      For me, it has evolved over time. It used to be just lingerie and underdressing a bit that was fabulous and enough for a long time, but I’ve slowly become more and more extensive in my dressing. To the point where I now do makeup, shapewear, jewelery, in short the whole nine yards. I very much enjoy trying to be the best woman I can be. Whether it is because I am bi gender and I need the express my femininity that way, I have no idea.

      However though I have gained something, I have also lost the spontaneity I used to have. It takes me quite a while to get dressed, and I lead myself into a certain amount of stress because of this.

      But this is the way I am, but not the way you have to be!

      Amy

    • #467342

      This is an interesting topic for me personally.  Shortly, after I embraced my feelings and chose to explore them in depth, I realized that I needed to be me, not a facsimile of who I thought I was.  Though I did try to wear on wig on occasion, I always felt like I was hiding me.  In delving into those feelings, I learned that I was happy and proud of who I was – a man.  It was just that I was a man who prefers to wear the clothes (skirts, dresses, blouses) that are typically described as women’s clothing.   I am happiest expressing myself as man whose daily style of dress is more akin with a woman in her 40s than a man.  Though I do not express myself as a woman, I do have very deep feelings about having my own breasts.  They are the one aspect of a women’s anatomy that I believe I am missing to be wholly me.

      MacKenzie Alexandra

    • #467399

      i have to agree – i would never pass – i mean ui suppose i could if i put a lot of energy and cash in to it – but i just want to wear nice things, wear a bit of make up and have a nice figure – i suppose being NB it is a bit different

    • #467416
      MelanieElizabeth
      Ambassador

      Such a thought provoking topic hippie. It really has my head spinning. For years I enjoyed an item or two just for the feeling of it I thought. As time has gone on and things have progressed Ive found I love the whole transformation immensely. The other day I dressed for the first time in a month or so and was sort of displeased with my appearance it felt odd to me because the clothes were always enough for me. But now I’m becoming more critical of my appearance for some reason. Everyone has their own motivations for dressing, regardless of what it is just enjoy it.

      • #467537

        This totally resonates with me, Melanie – I had a couple of hours when my wife took the children out at the weekend, and, as soon as they were out, I seized the chance to end the 3 month drought by slinging on a dress…

        But it wasn’t enough for me, so I had a long bath instead.

        The “for me” is the important part.

        Wearing a dress is just male me wearing a dress – and it doesn’t please my eyes.

        I believe that it should, because appearance is not important.

        However, one must be comfortable with one’s appearance, or why choose to look like that?

        I have taken my femme appearance to such a level, that only going the full 9 yards is enough – to be comfortable  and even then, I want to improve it.

        Want, not need, although it does feel rather compulsive, and I regularly view videos on techniques – just like I do with improving my guitar playing or enhancing my computer knowledge.

        It’s a deep down feeling of “do what you do and do it good” – being the best you can possibly be at what you do and constantly seeking ways to be better at those things.

        Parenting, garden care, appliance fixing, acting – you name it, it if it’s a job worth doing, it’s worth doing as well as you can.

        It feels like an attitude that chose me, rather than the other way around, and I suppose it’s a bit OCD – but I get joy from knowing I’ve improved in something (and sometimes a little deflated at seeing people do it so much better, but normally I just enjoy what they do!).

        We humans are complex creatures, that’s for sure!

        When I go en femme, it’s all or nothing.

        I absolutely can’t wait to get cracking on my makeup again – so many techniques I want to try – and I will want to “wear” that face as long as I can.

        Love Laura

        • #467554
          MelanieElizabeth
          Ambassador

          I’m in total in agreement with you Laura. Personally I’ve found I love to dress totally, makeup, wig etc. but that’s just me I got a taste of full transformation and really enjoyed it. Liked it so much I want to see improvement every time (Ie makeup done better, outfit more presentable etc). I know it’s not realistic to think things will improve every time but as the bar is set in whatever I do I want to exceed it the next time. But to get back on topic not all of us are looking to look like women. Some just like to wear feminine clothing to experience the feeling of those things and not to look that way. After all we are are individuals and have different feelings, even though we are all part of the same big family.

    • #467423

      When I awoke one day in the not too distant past, and felt compelled to buy some pantyhose and panties, I just had to go, “hmmmmm. Wonder what that’s all about?”. When looking for answers, I came across a blog which I imagine at least some, if not many, of you are already familiar. For those who may not have seen it, and for others like Hippie who ask, “who said you have to look like a woman to crossdress?”, I point you to Joey over on WordPress.

      https://joeypress.wordpress.com/about/

      Joey is one of my first crossdressing inspirations.  He is also someone who gave me reassurance and confidence. Someone whose story I find to be quite courageous.

      Finding his blog began several hours binge reading his posts under the tab, “True Stories”. Joey has been writing about his outings for over ten years. There is a lot to read. His writing style and manner are very matter-of-fact and to the point. His posts are written with a certain dryness and calmness that belies the power of his very public adventures.  Joey tells us of his outings, many of which seem so mundane and ordinary. But his adventures are anything but ordinary.  Bravely stepping out crossdressed from the neck down, and always presenting as male. Taking a sewing class, learning to country line dance, getting a haircut, shopping and eating out. Extraordinary by virtue of it’s ordinariness.

      I suppose Joey’s experience is different from yours and mine and may be very different from many of the members here at CDH. But I bring up his writing just to present more evidence that this is a very large tent under which we take our comfort. There is room enough for everybody. We need support and validation. While I know Joey’s approach (or mine, or yours, or his or hers) won’t resonate for everyone, there are some for whom it just may inspire the confidence they’re looking for. And hopefully, like most of Joey’s posts, we’ll conclude with the realization that there are many kind people out there happy to help us on our way.

      Best to all of you,

      Clara

    • #467757

      We’re each of us on our own journey, our own path. I know I’m a man, and I intend to stay that way. I know I’ve been clocked while out, but I don’t care very much. Nobody’s ever actually said anything. But… there’s always a but… when I dress and go out, I do try to look as much like a girl as I can. I wear shapewear to thin the middle, pad the hips and rear, forms and a bra, and if like to think I’m getting better at makeup, although I don’t always go all out. Amazing how much goes into a no makeup look…

      You do you, I’ll do me, and we’re good with it, I totally respect your position. If any of us on here were interested in “doing what the majority do” we’d none of us actually be on here to begin with, lol!

      When I’m out as Wil with my wife, I’m her alpha. When I’m out as Bridgette, I’m a girl. Overall, I’m becoming more non binary, I think.

      Anyways, your mileage may vary…

      Bridgette

    • #469615
      Anonymous

      I agree with the OP.  One doesn’t need to strive for 100% feminine results.  I wear women’s clothes from my socks on down to my coats, boots, shoes, etc.  I wear them all the time with bra and panty as my base.  I dont disagree that people may judge me… but I see people wearing weird things all the time expressing who they are, so, I do too.  I would surely love to wear skirts and dresses and wig and makeup daily as well but that is not in my cards.

    • #469635

      You don’t have to pass to enjoy and participate in dressing.

      It’s a personal experience and one that is for anyone who find it fills the dresser with joy or pleasure.

    • #469831

      Hey there Hippie, I hear you as I enjoy both. I love being fully dressed ,makeup ,wig, and emulating a woman to the fullest but I also love to wear women’s jeans and tops in public while in man mode. Of course it’s panties, bralette everyday and pantyhose in the cooler weather. Lately I’ve been wearing a light touch of mascara and eye shadow almost daily.I believe we all do what feels right at our own pace. If you enjoy it just do it. I don’t think there any rules when it comes to crossdressing are there?  Enjoy yourself hun and just do you!!!

      Hugs

      Ashley.

    • #470690

      Good thing too, I have not been able to pull of the girl look for decades. Yet I still wear girl clothes. I have reached to point in life where I really don’t give a rat’s elbow what anyone else thinks.

    • #466922
      Becka
      Lady

      Love that Lisa! “I wear my clothes…” statement is right on!

      Love you gurl!

      Becka

    • #466925
      Hippie
      Lady

      My clothes, not his or her clothes. Love that reply.

    • #467141

      Im sorry, but that is harsh, Rachel!!
      This is crossdressers heaven, not female transforms heaven. Each of us is here for our own reasons and desires, what makes one happy should in no way be criticized,
      I apologize, Hippy, you are entitled to as much respect as any of us
      Regi

    • #467239
      Hippie
      Lady

      Regine, They must have pulled that post. I was going to go back and re-read it. but what I got was not nice.

      I was going to ignore it anyways. People say stuff like that all the time. Even from our own kind.

      Oh well life moves on and thanks for sticking up for me.

      Hippie

    • #467349

      Hippie,

      In examining my own feelings about breasts, I have often wondered the same.  However , despite those intellectual concerns, I cannot shake the feeling that I feel more complete with breasts that without.  On the rare occasion that I cannot wear a bra even without my forms, I feel uncomfortable and unsupported, especially if any physical activity is involved.  I do not understand these feelings, and they are a point of contention with my wife.

      MacKenzie Alexandra

    • #467544

      Hi Celeste

      In my opinion, they flipping well should mind their own business.

      If I want to go out in public wearing exactly the same clothes as a 21st century woman might wear, who, exactly, has the right to tell me not to, or to criticise my choices?

      If someone has a problem, it’s their problem. If I make someone laugh, it’s much better than making them cry. I’d prefer not to hear the unmistakably moronic hyena laugh, but they’re lesser-spotted, incredibly rare, and Darwin knows what happens to them.

      I walk around crowded streets (obviously in non COVID-19 times) in a dress, with heels, a handbag, wig, jewellery, full makeup, and I behave like a decent human being – and most people will treat me like a decent human being – or better!

      And that’s more than I expect.

      It brings tears of joy to my eyes when I recall just how lovely so many people are, it really does.

      Obviously, the reactions vary from place to place – to which I would say: Go somewhere accepting for a while. Experience what it is like to be accepted, carefree and to be able to make so many positive behaviour choices.

      It’s so liberating (although it does make it difficult to return to “normality”).

      Love Laura

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