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Who in your life doesn’t know about the real you, but you wish they did. Sometimes its a family member, a long time friend, a co-worker, a person you would like help from and so on. The pros and cons seem almost endless, its another point of mental confusion this beautiful woman has brought with her into my life, damn women lol. It sometimes makes what was otherwise an easy open relationship with people that knew me oh so well seem awkward and somewhat more distant. I’m lying by ommission and spending less time with them for fear of slipping up. You want them to know the truth to be able to return to the normal free conversations you’ve had, you want to share with them the joy it brings to your life, and you certainly don’t want them to find out through gossip or wikileaks. But the reasons for not telling are also valid and varied, you like and trust them but not necessarily their spouse with whom they likely share, you’re putting on them the burden of keeping your secret, you fear they won’t accept the new you very well, they are in close contact with someone you would prefer did not know. For new years, I made a list for myself in order of importance as assigned by my logic (oh boy) and made my first introduction just over a week ago to whom would seem to be the oddest choice by anybody elses thinking. And so it begins, I’ll spill the details later. My daughters are next to know.
OK, give it up ladies, who would you wish knew and maybe why
I think my oldest sister, because she would understand and embrace my feelings. The only reason I haven’t told her is because I don’t get to see her that often, and I’d want to discuss it in person, and in private…which can be a challenge. I also have a slight concern that if she knew, that she might push me to go further than I’m really comfortable with. But I’m sure it would bring us closer together.
No one knows except my lovely wife, individual therapist and marital therapist. I would be cool with my sisters knowing, but not my brothers. I’m not sure about our grown children, but my daughter probably suspects already.
I told my wife years ago and now she uses it everytime we have an argument or discussion. She basically uses it to blame everything that goes wrong in our marriage or things in her life. Sure there more to it than that but…
Hi Misti, thats very unfair and unfortunate. Good on you for trying to be honest about who you are. Much good can come from that honesty but there is also always the possibility of negative consequences when we confide in others. We all need to weigh each disclosure for its pros and cons both for the person we are telling and ourselves. I hope you can work through this.
Spilling! The first person outside of my SO to know about Olivia was my youngest daughters best friend.
To preface that, both my daughters are grown adults with children of their own and this particular person is more of a third daughter who has been part of our family for what seems forever (15 or so years). I trust her wholeheartadely and her and I converse fairly easily for unknown reasons.
As we mature the importance of the opinions of us held by many outsiders seems to diminish, yet others seem to matter even more.
She has let me know over the years what it meant for her her to be included in our home and Her opinion matters to me. It was a long detailed discussion and the introduction went very well, she was quite supportive.
My hairdresser of many years was told next because I was looking for assistance with my hair and makeup, again very accepting and supporting.
During a phone call with my older daughter I came clean and as always she totally supports whatever it is that makes me a happier person.
The outcome isn’t always as nice as we hope for, but it certainly is nice when it happens. The relief of no longer hiding the truth from important people is uplifting.
Telling my younger daughter will happen when I can arrange some one on one time, soon.
To only my wife and with this I’m silent. I myself do have a large family and mostly all open to personal difference in others. But even with appearance changes that I’ve been doing ,questions have been forwarded to their mother about my well-being .For her she just tells them your father’s going through a middle-age crisis. For me I’m running with it lol!!. But I know soon I expect someone’s going to ask me what’s up dad , to which I will tell. It’s only a matter of time. They are the most important to me and for others well let them guess. .
Stephanie 🌹
Well after many attempts, I finally had the chance to talk to my youngest daughter about ahemm, my prefered clothing styles lol. When I first said the words cross dresser to her, she chuckled and thought I was joking. I have always joked, and played pranks on my kids. When i didn’t laugh back but continued talking, she got that I was being serious and truthful. We discussed it for a while and I let her know that once it really sunk in she could come back to me with any questions, concerns or limitations she might have. She was accepting, happy for me and interested in what i had to say in regards to what it did for me.
Having told them and having them accept it as well as they have is a relief for me.
There are a few others on my list, but not nearly as important and theres no real rush.
After a lengthy and indepth discussion with the customer I just introduced Olivia to(see owned it at work), I realized just how much I’ve been missing my best friend of many years. I still see him occassionally but we haven’t connected like we used to mostly due to my fear of slipping in some way.
Ive decided to tell him despite my fears regarding his wife, I’m confidemt that he will see and accept me for the person he’s always known and relied on. I need that impartial person in my life that I hopefully can once again open up to about so many things. I plan on being careful, and honest about why I haven’t been there and my fears of full disclosure as it could negatively impact my livelyhood.
Hoping for the best, I’ll let you know.
Just want to say I honor your bravery, coming out to friends can be really challenging but worth it for all the reasons you list. Good luck! And thanks for the updates too it really feels nice to read and helps inspire confidence on my own front.
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