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While I am new here, I am not new to the debate over what label I should have based on my life choices. I really liked Kymera Romaine’s survey if we feel both genders at the same time or not. It seems that society feels we all have to fit into some neat little box with a label on it, so they can point to someone and say “oh they are ______”. Why? I’m sure that someone more of a background in human behavior can answer that question (I am an engineer, so much more math & science geek). I answered yes to the question, because I feel I am both genders at the same time. Sure, there are moments when one is more dominant, and generally I am dressed as a male (or what society deems to be male). While I am not old enough to have first hand experience, there was a time when women were told they could not wear pants, hence the term ‘who wears the pants in your family’ if I woman showed dominance or control in a relationship. When I have read discussions about hetero men that choose to cross dress, the questions arise as to his true sexual preference, and some presume that he is looking to transition to a full female role at some point. While for some that may be true, and perhaps those are the ones that we hear about the most. What about those, like myself, that just enjoy dressing on a part time basis, yet are still attracted to women?
My personal feeling is that I am hetero male, who does have a female side to my being, and she is allowed to express herself. My wife and I can be out shopping, at dinner, or the park, and both of us will take notice of another woman’s outfit/shoes/jewelry. We will have a conversation about something we saw that attracted our attention. There are times when I see something I would wear, and she says it to me before the words are even out of my mouth. We have seen our relationship grow in new and exciting ways since Heather has come to the surface. I still like wearing suits, tshirts with my favorite sports teams, and everything in between that is masculine. I am a biological male after all, and I love being with a woman. I also at times feel like I am a woman, when I am shopping, or cooking, or spending time with my wife, because she likes having Heather as her partner in crime, as she puts it. We enjoy so many things that most spouses never get to experience, and it has added another layer to our relationship, which has made our bond even stronger. So, while there are some that feel they need to have a label for everyone, I say we are all people struggling to make our way through this wild and crazy world. Love and peace to all! xoxo
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