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    • #704750

      Why do we risk our relationships, being ostracized, our careers, etc? I have given a lot of thought to this over the years and have come up with this list at least for me.

      • Early on it’s very erotic, especially if you started young.
      • As time goes on you get to develop a separate identity and that person is in your control.
      • As that persona grows, she demands more time released from her prison that you keep her in. You are losing control of her.
      • All the times you purge you are really trying to get her back in the prison, but you can’t. Why is this? Because you can no more stifle her because she is you.

      Final thoughts. Your female self, in my case, is a made woman you are her sugar daddy. She doesn’t have to work, you dote over her and provide everything she needs and most of what she wants. There is no other woman that can compete with her. You are madly and truly in love and there is no stopping it. I do so love you Tommie!!!

       

      Love,

      Tommie 💋

       

       

    • #704751
      Erika Henderson
      Duchess - Annual

      Tommie, I think you have nailed it!

    • #704788

      Very th9ught full comments Thank you

    • #704789
      Emily Alt
      Managing Ambassador

      Well, I can only speak for myself….. I’m  trans BTW.

      My earliest memories go back to when I was 3 or 4.  She’s always been in control.

      Life went off the rails a few times. I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if I heard what she was saying.

      Sure there were some erotic moments. Moments that often had an assertive feminine twist. What else would you expect from a horny young woman?

      Those memories have faded.  What I vividly remember from those years is the many female friends I had.  Girls I envied.  Women I bonded with.  A shared connection that was unlike anything I had with my few guy friends.

      This girl’s been acting like a guy for a long time and has gotten damn good at it. But it’s all just an act.  A facade.  And a fraud on occasion.

      Time to close that chapter….

      She’s got a career and doesn’t need a sugar daddy.  She knows what she wants and how to get it.  She loves herself.

      ….and she loves the jerk that put her thru hell.  Wouldn’t be here without him.

      /EA

      • #704791
        Thea
        Lady

        Fantastic!  You’ve just got it so spot on! Thanks again!

    • #704793

      Very interesting explanation.  I think that could apply to most in some way as well as each person having their own reasons.  I like how you talk about letting her out of prison, I kept her there my whole life with a very occasional opportunity to see the sun.  A couple yearsago I finally let her out and we’ve been happy ever since.

      XOXO
      Suzanne

    • #704797

      Hi Tommie everything you have said is exactly how i feel, I know that Roz is her own person and she is forever knocking on that prison door shouting let me out of this closet, it’s my turn to see the light, you know you want to wear that dress 👗 you know you want to wear them stockings, you know you want to wear that bra, so stop resisting start dressing, you know it will make you feel better,

      Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀

    • #704799

      Hi Tommie

      Why do I dress?

      I love it.

      The feel of silk, satin, lace, Lycra, nylons, chenille against the skin just feels sublime to me.

      Womenswear just has so much more fashion choices, lengths, fits, colours, embellishments, trends,  not to mention items taboo to ‘men’ like skirts, dresses, lingerie, heels.

      Love the ability to change how I look if I wish, make up, hair, jewellery, skincare etc, and perfume, love it.

      So much fun experimenting with different fashions and putting a look together.

      Why do I love it, well why do people love different hobbies, love sports, love cars, love their god, love climbing mountains, love animals, tattoos, gaming, cookery, charity work, etc it’s just who we are, all different, and that’s wonderful

      Allowing this femininity out has also helped me to lose inhibitions and make my life richer. I now freely express my more feminine traits, more tactile,  empathetic, drive more defensively, happier and not afraid to show it. I have scented candles, flowers in the house, even more soft furnishings LOL.

      It is just ‘right’. I know I am now more completely me than I have ever been. Do I look funny, don’t care, chin up chest out, smile and be confident. I like me and that’s the most important thing.

      I totally get that women in a relationship with a man who does what we do probably will have a problem with it. Not going to go into that because I am divorced (nothing to do with cross dressing, never did it during the 14 year marriage). I have forgone the prospect of getting serious with a woman again. Why? Well do I purge this, the best part of me for a woman? Came to the conclusion, no!!!

      One thing women hate more than anything else is not having the moral high ground in a relationship. When it all boils down I am doing nothing wrong and will never have a woman try to tell me I am doing something wrong, or I am an embarrassment. This is me and I won’t be somebody else for them.

      The important people in my life know and accept Bianca and that is all that matters, my grown kids know, and my work colleagues know. My parents have passed away and I am not religious.

      B x

    • #704808
      Angela Booth
      Hostess

      I think you have fundamentally got it between you, Emily and Bianca.

      Of course we could add to the list but it covers things quite nicely and I can put myself into that framework.

      I wanted wear a dress like the girls did when I was about five. I did it and it felt quite normal and quite right for me. I didn’t think it was wrong but others did. I carried on taking any opportunity to do so and even my mother and sisters might dress me up. I felt I had more in common with girls and associated with them in preference to boys. This was an age when you couldn’t express yourself in this way.

      Puberty was an interesting time as my hormones drove me and dressing had a sexual thrill but then a lot of things did! It didn’t over ride the need to dress because I felt right doing it. I liked girls wanting to associate with them in a non sexual way seeming to have a better empathy and similar temperament to them. I was always looking at what they wore and would look on in envy. Dressing took a bit of a hiatus for many years but the need didn’t go away. As with Emily I lived the expected way of life and did a good job bu it didn’t diminish my true feelings.

      The need to dress re emerged as it was a better time where I could start to dress more and open up. I could be the person I felt I should have been and start to live that life without fear or criticism. I made some decisions that paved the way to live the life I wanted and, as the old adage says, Good things come to those that wait. No sugar daddy required.

       

       

       

       

       

    • #704812

      Tommie (my real drab name) You are SPOT ON girl with your observations!!!! Perfect identity observation and that’s ME TOO!

      How many others feel exactly the same and fit into that mold lie a stocking foot in a pair of high heels, good job!

    • #704813
      Anonymous

      Tommie, I love the question. I dress because it makes me feel good. I love all the different styles in women’s fashion. If I could get my wife to accept this part of who I am, I would be so happy.

      • #704828

        Work on it together slowly with baby steps. Side down with her ( in drab) and explain your background since childhood and your needs and strong desires and emphasize it has nothing to do with you or her or your lack of deeply loving her or accepting you as a’ woman’ but as your caring husband who, like the rest of us was born as a heterosexual crossdresser.

        Good Luck Jessie girl 👧👍😉

        Meghan

    • #704837

      Yes Tommie you have nailed it and even more so all the comments that followed by my sisters here have shown great insight to add to that. I have always thought I am this way because the way our brains are wired from birth. No apologies  are necessary . We have been blessed to enjoy both genders in this life

    • #704842

      Spot on Tommie!!

    • #704904
      Leah
      Baroness

      100% accurate.

      Why we dress:  the lingerie, satin, silk and lace, skirts and dresses, perfume, makeup. this is more than enough to desire to dress.  It is everything we typically do not have in our “male” clothes.  It feels great, relaxing and naughty.

      The problem, society has not expected this part of us yet…but it is getting better…slowly

    • #704907
      Lola Caprice
      Baroness

      Wow, that really hit home Tommie!  The only thing I would add from my persective is that being Lola is an escape from my otherwise stressful world.  I just commented in another post that my Lola time is the only time I can push everyting else away and fully live in her world for those precious few hours a week.

      I loved the sugar daddy reference.  I do indeed dote over her and spend more than I should, in fact I have to be careful to not make my SO jealous of her.  🤣

      Great post!

      💖Lola

    • #704923
      Julie
      Lady

      I agree. Your female self is at first a fun enjoyable thing to do then over time she becomes the new you so you have to do everything for her and be her all the time in order to be truly happy.

    • #705012

      The question being asked is “Why do we dress?” And for most of us the question is referring to dressing in feminine clothing. My slant on the question is quite different as I’m transgender and have known this forever, from the age of 4 I knew I was supposed to be a girl.
      So why do I dress? because they’re MY clothes, the ones I’m supposed to wear because in my mind, heart and psyche I am a woman. I have transitioned and have been living as a woman now for almost a year and everything to do with ‘dressing’ in feminine attire has become everyday normal routine for me.
      To wear male clothing would be, for me, crossdressing!

      hugs,

      Ms. Lauren M

    • #705095
      J J
      Lady

      To paraphrase George Lee Mallory, “Because we can”. I am a rock climber and mountaineer, and the reason I climb is I like the challenge. The same is true for dressing, I.lime the challenge of trying to look feminine, of breaking norms, of seeing how brave I can be, etc to name just a fee reasons.

      • #705124

        Spot On😉 ! JJ. Exactly the same here , I am a ugly aged looking 75 year old heterosexual male and was a goofy looking homely kid and teen growing up and I still have PTSD flashbacks of times I was made fun of because of how I looked then with a big nose, ears and being called a Dick Tracy character, that hurt- and it stayed ingrained in me- so I created over time with a lot of practice with makeup and wigs to transform myself into a beautiful passable mature woman . another face, another persona and have for decades achieved it- and am very happy 😃 being who and what I look like today [see public pictures in my profile😉]
        Meghan

    • #705127

      I dress to fulfill a need and it feels absolutely awesome! Also feels good to receive compliments from people out in public.

    • #705183

      Hi Tommie
      I think that’s it pretty much accurately put, one way or other this inner woman is desperate to arise and show the world.
      Sarah xx

    • #705233
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness

      Simply because Catherine Louise Ryan, (lovely Catholic name except I’m not), has been and always will be an integral part of me for the last 50 years.

      When I’m dressed, she takes me away to another lovely place of peace and contentment. Especially when life brings the “challenges” we all face from time to time. ( Love that word.. covers EVERYTHING!!)

      Tho I can rarely fully dress during the day, I sleep femme every night, bra, breast forms and temperature appropriate sleepwear, depending on the season.  EG I worked hard all my life and having long been retired, can enjoy the fruits of my labours via sleeping in pure silk sleepwear in this our Australian summer. When sans bra, my self adhesive forms give that extra femme feeling

      Caty does not do cheap and this is reflected in all her other purchases of her femme items. Tho like us all she is a sucker for an outlet mall or good on line sale. (EG Don’t ever let me near a Simone Perele outlet store!!…..)

      Happy dressing

      Caty.

       

       

    • #705305
      Shawn S.
      Duchess

      I don’t know how much more I can add to the list. Every lady in the thread has absolutely nailed how I feel. I dress because I feel more comfortable in female clothing than I do in male clothes. I’ve had this desire since I was a little kid. I just wish I recognized what those feelings meant earlier in life.

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