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I’m still pretty early in my research of crossdressing. I’m just trying to learn as much as I can.
I was wondering what everyone’s reason for crossdressing is. I was wondering if generally, everyone dresses up for the same reason, if there’s a large variety of different reasons.
So the question is: why do you crossdress?
My reasons have evolved over the years. At first, It was primarily about the feel of the clothes. I liked the feeling of a tight dress up against my chest. I liked the skirt rubbing against my legs. I loved the feel of the fabric.
Now though, it’s more about trying to look and feel as much like a woman as I can. It’s about trying to look pretty. Before, it was mainly about the dresses, but now I want to shave my legs, put on makeup, have fake breasts, and wear wigs.
Before, I never even thought about wearing high heels. Again, it was just about the feel of the dress. But now, I’m thinking about getting some, cause I like to feel like a woman.
Again, I’m just wondering if everyone’s reason for crossdressing is the same as mine, or if everyone has their own reason (I imagine it’s the latter).
Also, I’ve decided on “Belle” as my name. I wanted to hang on to “Ellie,” mainly because my favorite female fictional character is “Ellie” from the “Last of Us,” and I liked being named after a really cool character lol. Belle feels more right though.
Many reasons really, im different! Mens clothing bores me, I love feeling pretty and I love the feel of the materials and main reason I long to be a woman as im a total failure as a man xx
Thanks Laura xx
Forget to mention the great pleasure and I love the support lingerie gives you and how sharewear can turn my slightly manly body into a buxom wench. There are so many reasons I could list so many. Womens lingerie is beautiful and mens is so 😴 boring 😴
Men’s clothing is nowhere near as interesting as women’s clothing, and neither does it have as much variety. At formal events, you’ll see women with a variety of different outfits, while men can only suits. Shopping for suits doesn’t take long, seen as there aren’t many options.
I wouldn’t say they’re boring though, but I totally understand why you think they’re boring. That’s not the reason I crossdress, but it’s interesting that you said that. For me, it’s more about feeling like a woman.
I suppose as a woman you can style your hair in more ways than a man. If you’re a man and you have short hair (like most of them do), there’s only a few ways you can style it. The styles look good, but I wish there was more variety. Girls can have french braids, crown braids, fishtail braids, low ponytails, high ponytails, french twists, etc. Even if you’re a man with long hair, there’s only a small number of “acceptable”hairstyles you can have.
You might just as well ask why we like to dress.
That’s not a facetious remark, I’m serious – when we decide what we want to wear, we’re creating an image – and, like it or not, we’re apes, we want to emulate nice images that we’ve seen.
The fashion industry tries it’s hardest to sell images, and we want to buy. We want that look for ourselves. We imagine what it would feel like to look like that – and women’s fashions are modelled by women, so when we men put on a dress and see the resulting image, few would head outdoors looking like that!
We have to go all the way (not everyone, but most of us). We get the wig and shoes – but we need a bust, something to suggest hips, makeup, jewellery, a handbag – everything to make the image authentic and help us fit in, or at least, to look the part from a distance.
Then we discover that we really like this image – we feel comfortable with it. That’s when you know you’re a full on cross dresser, in the sense that you’re a man dressing in images marketed to women.
But I am a man who likes the looks that the industry sells to women – I have done since I was a small boy.
Why should I be restricted in my choices when women aren’t?
This isn’t a cry of “It’s not fair!!”, it’s a question to which there is no reasonable answer to say I cannot make my own choices.
The instant a woman puts on makeup, she is creating an image that is not really her – it’s a created image.
And yet it is her. The makeup enhances what she has, and she feels better when looking at the image in the mirror.
We’re no different.
Every “cross dresser” knows the moment when the lipstick has been applied (usually last), and the results can be admired.
We’ve created our own image – we are mistresses of our own journeys. We are free to be our authentic selves.
Love Laura
I never thought of it that way. I suppose if I see an attractive female model I sometimes think “I wish I looked like her.” I guess non-crossdressing men (not sure what the proper term is) look up to male models, but for whatever reason, we crossdressing men look up to female models. I wonder why.
Yes, it’s a very interesting question – thanks for asking it!
All I know is that I loved what girls wore from age 4, and wanted to wear so many outfits!
Around 9 or 10, I started looking at the ladies clothing in catalogues – the big catalogues that had everything, so I started ogling the toys, but kept going back, especially to the lovely dresses (and underwear!).
I was almost desperate to wear those clothes – but why??
I guess the marketing people did their job and sold the image – I may not have been the intended market, but I am still hooked!
My first ever “catalogue” purchase arrived today – 3 dresses, a wrap and a pair of gorgeous ankle boots! Can’t wait to try them on 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Love Laura
Yeah, I totally understand that feeling of being desperate to be in women’s clothes. I especially get that when I’m looking at women’s clothes on the internet. It’s like I’d do anything to dress up like a woman in that moment. Nice to hear people have the same experiences as me!
Have fun with your clothes! Those ankle boots sound nice. I want to get some shoes.
I just bought my first pair of panties and pantyhose, should be arriving sunday!
You’ll certainly have some experiences with those… just wait until you get your first bra and dress to complete the femme outfit – shoes and wig will follow, then forms and makeup if I’m any judge!
The 3 dresses and wrap are exquisite – well 2 out of 3. One is in a canvas type material that wasn’t clear in the image – but it’s a nice fit – they all are – and the wrap is just darling!
The materials of the other two dresses are just dreamy – better than I imagined.
Can’t wait to wear them out fully femme – haven’t tried the boots yet, but I may get a chance tonight…
Love Laura
OMG, the boots are amazing!!!
Perfect fit, well made, and MUCH better in the flesh than the pictures!
Sequined!!!!
Glad to hear you’re liking your new clothes! Those boots look nice! What kind of dresses are they?
I have worn dresses, wigs, and a little bit of makeup before. I’ve never had a full transformation though. I’ve never had it all on – bra, panties, makeup, wig etc. I’m slowly buying more and more though. I want to have the full transformation ASAP.
A pro makeover is so worth it – if I was you, I’d plan a day and night out, when it’s safe to do so, have the makeover booked for a couple of hours before you want to go out in the evening.
Your call, but whatever you do that day, a makeover will make you feel amazing!
Love Laura
There are many reasons that we dress. I rose from bed a 4am this morning and put on a cami top, sparkly jumper black skirt and tights with panties underneath, I almost forgot to mention the panties as I wear them every day and no longer own any mens underwear. Immediately I was dressed I felt right so I suppose it is something within that makes us want to dress. It is pointless trying to deny it as the urge will become too strong. I suppose it would be similar to anyone else trying to suppress their personality. If you love something just do it.
Love to everyone. xx
JoJoOur desire to crossdress comes from something deep inside of us. The only thing I can compare it to is the feeling that I was meant to become a writer. There’s something inside of me saying “you are a writer,” and there’s something else saying “you like women’s clothes.”
Many think transgender and crossdressing people want to cross genders because of something that happened in their childhood. Not a traumatic incident, but that there was something that turned us into the way we are. I don’t think so. I think it’s just something in our bodies which tell us we need to crossdress.
I knew I was a crossdresser after a had a dream where I was in a dress. I don’t think THAT is what made me a crossdresser. I think my inherent desire to crossdresser was just projected in the dream.
Yes I’ve been purging my male clothes which is very liberating as it means I’ve got less items of mens clothes and sooner rather later I’ll have no option but to dress as a woman all the time, which I kinda do anyway
Because, because, because, because… of all of the wonderful things it does!
How very true!
Male clothing is so restrained, restricted, rejected… oh, another suit day… my oh my what tie to wear? What… Khakis? Non! Ok beach today shorts and t-shirt… boring. No… not an orange vest day… ahhhh! Lace ups or sneakers or… perhaps jandels (flip flops)! I rest my case m’lud.
I wanted be as sexy as the women I appreciated
The first time I looked at my fully made up reflection I couldn’t understand why I never looked that attractive in my male guise despite many women desiring me.
Being brought up by two wonderful women!
Loving the click clack of my first heels echoing in my psyche.
Having always given dressing advice to friends and acquaintances
Getting to understand the entirety of me!
Once I began I knew I couldn’t stop. I can repress of course but never stop! Give up the corseted life? Give up my Dior nylons? Give up my heels? Give up lipstick… are you mad? Give up my boobs? My jewelry, my scarves, my self? Jamais de la vie?
This a road only once travelled xxx //Polly
For me, as with many, I liked the feel of the material and there was a strong arousal component. This soon evolved to loving how I looked wearing the clothes and adding a little make up , admiring how feminine I could look. Now I am really looking into presenting as feminine as possible and wanting to be treated as a woman when doing so.
Sandy
Sounds like you and I are in a similar boat. At first, it just felt good, but it’s evolved into wanting to be a girl.
It felt good and then the urges took over and I had to dress everyday or I would be really sad
I crossdress because ive always felt very different from other men and ivev tried to purge it out of me but it never goes away so im slowly becoming the woman i know i am deep down and its going to be a long journey but im willing to do everything to make myself the person i want to be and that person is krissy
For me it started out to fulfill erotic fantasies. That gave way to stress relief and a desire to look like a woman. For the last few years I’ve dressed to match how I feel inside. I go about my business and tend to forget what I’m wearing. I see myself living full time in a few years. I want curves of my own.
Because Caty has been an integral part of my life for over 40 years. Yes it was the arousal thing back in my youth, but this gradually morphed into me realising I have a very strong feminine side in my personality and it needs to come out whenever it can.(As in right now and it…. feels wonderful….
I totally agree with other posts that male clothing is so boring, especially “undies”. So although I have the usual “quota” of the above, I hardly ever wear them. (medical appts etc). I wear female underwear 24/7 and especially enjoy winter when I wear heavy duty opaque tights. a/. they are lovely and warm and b/. I have arthritic knees.. so..
Happy dressing
Caty
Oh my goodness, where do I even begin ?
– fabric/material. I remember the first time I touched and wore my mom’s panties. The fabric of the panties was incredibly soft and smooth. As a small kid, I was confused as to why women’s panties were so soft and smooth while my tighty whiteys felt like burlap and 40 grit sand paper. When I tried the panties on, even though I was a small kid, it felt right, the material was so smooth against the skin, and it just enveloped everything nicely.
– fashion. Let’s face it, men’s fashion is dull. Even an expensive tux is dull and boring. What do men’s fashion consist of ? Pants, shirt, and maybe a blazer. Wow, incredibly dull. Compare that to women’s fashion, you have a plethora of tops, bottoms like pants/skirts, dresses/gowns, and you can mix and match and come up with something new. Shoes for guys is dull too, dress shoes and maybe runners ? For women, pumps, flats, block heels, boots or even thigh highs, the list goes on and on. Height of heels also adds to the already huge variety. For me, swimwear. Women’s swimwear has alot of variety, from bikinis to one piece, and within one piece you can further drill it down to beach one piece or competitve/racing one piece. What do guys have ? broad shorts or jammers.
– feeling of dressing like a women. Combine fabric/material and fashion, the feeling you get when you transform into a women is incredibly unbelievable. When I transform into Wendy, I feel so relaxed, like all the stress from work as suddenly disappeared and I can be at ease with myself. Irony here is after a day at work my wife cannot wait to take her bra off, for me I can wear a bra + shapewear all day and simply feel so comfortable and relaxed.
Thanks, Belle, for the great post! I think I am in between two of your reasons: one, the feel of fabric and/or clothes on my body and two, trying to look and feel as much like a woman as I possibly can, given personal limitations and marriage. Being a man in women’s clothing brings out both the masculine (which I don’t want to lose but tone down) and the feminine (which I want to acknowledge and understand). Regardless, it gives me great peace and joy, something we need desperately during these crazy days!
Hugs,
Ginny
I’d imagine this would be very expansive and extremely varied!…
For me it began as a tribute to the people who I adore the most. The women in our lives. Looking as best as I can like them in a way to honour them. It evolved into my own pursuit and is a now a total ‘source’ for me. Primarily, it’s about ‘getting away with this’ And truly, that’s all there is to it for me!
Thanks!! 🙂
Glad to see so many of us have had the same desires and feelings about crossdressing. Sure the feeling of all the different fabrics against the body and delightful fashions to express our moods and emotions. The clicking of heels on a wooden floor or long nails clicking on a computer. As we evolve then the understanding that we love the world as women and relating like that to the world. Having two personalities and characters in one body. Now spending more time as Debbie and shedding off my male drab self
Hi Belle, It started for me when I was young (and that was a long time ago) and it was mostly about arousal. Everything feminine was sensual; the feeling of the clothes, etc. But as I matured, my reasons also matured. Every year I go on a solo retreat for a week to the Rocky Mountains where I have time to reflect about the past and think about the future. Prior to my Mom passing away, she gave me my name, Krista. After she passed, upon reflection, I realized that while my father wanted a “manly” son (which really never described me though I did try at one time), my Mom wanted a daughter. So now I can be the daughter Mom never had and I’m quite happy about it. If she was still with us, I know she’d be OK with it (father not so much). My SO doesn’t understand and hates talking about it though I’ve tried many times. As soon as I mention it she cuts me off. I guess I’m glad that my SO knows, let’s me dress around the house in front of her to a certain degree and has never told me to purge but it would be nice to talk to her about it. Stay healthy, stay safe, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.
When I first tried on women’s clothing it was because of the feel of the material; the soft cool feeling of nylon panties and slips. It was also the lite and airy, not thick and stiff, flow and movement of the material on my physical frame.
Where as these reasons are still with me, I now realize the reason I want to wear women’s clothing is because of my feminine spirit. I’m gender fluid, the body of a male with the essence of a woman.
I thought it was just about the clothes. In secret I wore them but quite quickly I needed the hair, then socks appeared in the bra. Now I have to look as feminine as possible. When I’m dressed I feel happy, content and alive. It’s a feeling I’ve never had for such a prolonged time in my life. As said previously… the first time ‘want’, the second time ‘need’.
Short answer: Because I’m a girl; I just can’t pass the physical.
Longer reply: When age and medications caused a hormonal shift, I felt the need to get more in touch with my feminine side – starting with ladies’ tees and jeans. In time, this need grew stronger, ending in a complete wardrobe, pierced ears and long, permed hair. All of my clothes are now ladies’ and I wear them because they feel right and natural on me.With me too it was originally the feeling of the forbidden fabrics on my skin. I started with panties and pantyhose. I progressed on to satin dresses and leather skirts. I realize now that my desire to present as a woman is rooted in my wanting to be the object of desire for the men I love. As an adolescent I had several boyfriends. Some of them encouraged me to act like a girl. When I did they were very affectionate i find myself wanting to relive that. At the time I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed it. I was too ashamed. What a pity.
There was a time when I thought the feel of a sexy dress on me was the reason I dressed, but I’m not too sure that was the reason anymore. Yes, I use too wear a lot of sexy dresses as you might have notice from many of my pictures, but I don’t wear those dresses much anymore. Today I prefer a more casual, mature look. What I now notice that I get an extreme satisfaction at changing my male appearance into a very feminine appearance.
Like many others, my first article of clothing was a nylon nightgown of my mother’s. But once I put it on, the feeling was amazing but I also loved how it made me look like a girl (12 at the time), even without makeup or wig. I would just look at the neck down. Of course I got aroused and the dye was cast. I would come home from school and had a few hours to put on things and, well… you know. I tried, hose, pantyhose, panties, slips, dresses, ,heels. Anything and everything in my mom’s dresser and closet. After marriage I continued with some of my wife’s things when I could, eventually buying my own things to fit better. Once the internet developed I found there were others like me. Got a cheap wig, some makeup and continued to dress in private when I could. It did not matter if I dressed fully or not, just enjoyed the feeling and look of my legs/body in fem things. About 20 years ago I found a CD dressing service in Atlanta and decided to see what I could look like with proper foundations, makeup, wig and clothes. I had a 3 – 4 hour session taking a lot of digital pics. When I later reviewed the pics I was please and thought I made a pretty woman. The lade that did the makeover had also complimented me on my looks and encouraged me to go out as Michelle as she thought I would pass. After that I started buying better wigs, breastforms, better makeup, etc. I went out with a CD group to a restaurant and bar. I went back to the CD service several times a year but usually stayed in. However, I never wanted to partially dress. If I dressed, I wanted to make the full transition and present as a woman (not a man in a dress). For me, now the “excitement” is being out as a woman … shopping, dining, meeting people, etc. and being accepted. As a woman, other women treat you differently which I enjoy. Some men have hit on me but I wear a wedding ring set so I am not interested (and I am NOT attracted to men). I enjoy all the clothing styles, shoes, etc. that I can wear as a woman that men can’t. Men’s clothing is so boring.
I don’t think I answered this particular question.
I cross-dress to be pretty. It is the same way anyone, female or male, who wants to be feminine and attractive tries to achieve those goals and enhance them with a pallet of artistic techniques.
In fact, I do not feel that “cross-dress” is accurate. To me it is just “dress to be feminine and attractive”. Because it applies to many people of either sex I invented a neutral term, ‘athenase’ after the dressing, bedecking and beautifying of Pandora by Pallas Athena. I am an ‘athenist’.
My sense is that discernible variations in motivation for masculine-to-feminine athenasing is that age at onset is significant. Particularly ages 2-5, 11-18, 40-70.
Younger ones appear to be feminine gender invariant. They are girls, insist upon it and tend to be feminine all of their lives. Some change point-of-view upon puberty. But much depends on social environment and conventions. A three-year-old male who insists (justifiably) that he is a girl can learn very quickly NOT to bring up that subject again. They then subsume their real selves and invent a persona consistent with the requirements of the empowered and maybe live sad, grouchy lives. Opportunity is also a major issue.
The pubescent male, in the majority of cases, find suddenly that the matter of femininity (especially in matters of decision-makings and assessments) suddenly lurches not only into sharp focus (and it was probably always a tickling curiosity) but to a degree that tends to blot out one’s vision of anything else. Often this intense desire to investigate more closely this thoroughly fascinating matter results in the intense need for acquire a tangible, feminine presence; just for Science you know. Usually the only available subject is one’s self. For some this might be seen as a ‘phase’ that phases out but for some (those curious from youth especially) this is a glorious Epiphany. There is music in the air, a light shines and one finds something in ones’ self that seems to have always been there, is soooo natural and makes you feel beautiful.
Older onset athenasing I have not heard of too often, a few anecdotes of widowers possibly missing their spouses. But I also sense that, perhaps, these are instances where all along they needed desperately to be feminine and this was their first opportunity. Opportunity is always a major issue.
So I athenase because something rooted firmly within me needs to be beautiful, feel feminine and feel that I am clean and smell nice. To be pretty! I call her:
Araminta.
My dressing has evolved greatly in the last three years, to where Im wearing dresses this weekend. I take better care of my body and have even been around some of my family dressed. There are other things going on in my life but for now that is good, but complected. I look back to the teenage boy in his sister’s dress, bra with water balloons, panties, pantyhose and heels, to the woman who is happy with her life and not worried about what others think. My wife has helped to guide me on what she saw as the woman in me and has been a great woman in my life.
I don’t remember the first dress I put on, but there are photos of me as a toddler in dresses with bowes in my hair. My Grandmother told me stories about me being called a little girl when I was young.
My first conscious choice was to put on a pair of panties to see what they felt like. I loved the feeling, can’t tell you why. This progressed quickly to trying on garden and stocking to a dress, to makeup. I only dressed when I was alone and the opportunity presented its self.
When I was older and married I would fantasize about what it would feel like to wear the lounger that I would buy my wife.
I would study women’s Faison, watch the fason TV shows, I had lots of opinions on what would look good on my wife. The whole time wondering what it would feel like on me.
When I got the chance to purchase my own things, shoes, skirts, stocking, panties. It was great, but then escalated to makeup, wig, and wanting to present a woman.
This progressed to going out dressed painting my nails, shaving all the hair off my body. I still don’t understand why, I just know that it feels great and I want to dress as a woman as often as I can.
My wife does not want to see me dressed, I don’t get to dress often, but I want to dress as often as possible. The desire is real and it takes full control. I dont understand why, but I know I feel better for days after I dress.
One day I may understand why, but until then I will enjoy the feeling of being dressed.
Paula
I was always fascinated with makeup. I did like the apparel, but the makeup and becoming a girl was the hook. (Love seeing myself in breasts and hips). Now I feel good about myself when I am dressed. It feels natural and in some ways like I get a 2nd chance/clean slate. I can be more sensitive, caring, and free. In the end it is the unexplainable feeling inside. I get it even when I just dream about dressing. I only wish I would have done this many years ago.
Since age 4 or 5, at least as I can remember, I’ve always thought of myself as female. I don’t always ‘need’ to dress, as I can just use my active imagination (it’s a nice way to fall asleep at night, actually). The dressing just came after that, trying to match the image in the mirror with what I, in the deepest recesses of my mind, knew I should have been.
The added benefit is that when I do dress, I feel even more relaxed and calm and content. Doesn’t have to be elaborate, but when I know I have the time, both to dress and to return to male drab, I love it when I see how far I can go – nice outfit, makeup, nail and toe polish, perfume, hose, heels, wig, attachments, and maybe even venturing out.
I wanted to dress as early as 6 years of age. It all began with my fascination with the bodies of older teenage females. I then went down the rabbit hole and wore a bra for the first time at 8 years of age. When my puberty hit, it was like my urge to wear lingerie was on steroids. I’d see the girls at school start developing and I just couldn’t wait to get home, sneak a bra and panty set from my sister’s room and enjoy the feeling that girls were feeling on themselves throughout the day.
Crossdressing is just being the real me. It’s a step on my way to becoming a complete woman.
I first started putting on my mother’s sexy lingerie when I was around 6 years old and continued until I moved out of my parent’s house at age 18. The next time I put on a woman’s clothes was when I was 50 years old and married. It started when I told my wife that I had had some sexual experiences with men before we were married and that I wanted to “role play” with her. She agreed and she offered me a dress and lingerie of hers to wear.
I have never tried to wear any of her clothes except in private with her. When I do, I feel very feminine and want to make love as a woman. I think my wife would feel threatened if I tried to go out in public, although she and I have gone clothes shopping at department stores where I try on feminine clothes in the dressing room.
I know that sexual preference is not identical with cross-dressing but I definitely feel the desire to be the “bottom” sexually when I am dressed, and sometimes when not dressed. I consider myself to be bi-sexual. My wife doesn’t like to talk about these things but she willingly participates in helping me get dressed, putting on make up and sexual role playing.
To answer the question, “Why do I cross-dress”, would require a “depth psychology” kind of answer, so to keep it simple, it makes me feel good.
I don’t think I can honestly answer this question because I still don’t really know what drives me to do it.
Like others, I started to be interested in women’s fashion and makeup when I was around 7 or 8. That of course lead to me trying on certain articles of clothing and liking it enough that I have kept it up over the years.
But for what the actual reason is for me wanting to express myself like this, I have no idea.
I just like it, I guess.
Cynthia
I probably would have considered transitioning if I was younger.
So I dress like Chloe said “dressing as a woman is the real me”.
Sexually I label myself as bi but have not been with a woman for a very long time and like to please and be very girly when I am with a male partner.
Hugs
Jessica
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