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  • #429969
    Belle (Ellie) Porter
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    Registered On: January 4, 2021
    Topics: 2
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    I’m still pretty early in my research of crossdressing. I’m just trying to learn as much as I can.

    I was wondering what everyone’s reason for crossdressing is. I was wondering if generally, everyone dresses up for the same reason, if there’s a large variety of different reasons.

    So the question is: why do you crossdress?

    My reasons have evolved over the years. At first, It was primarily about the feel of the clothes. I liked the feeling of a tight dress up against my chest. I liked the skirt rubbing against my legs. I loved the feel of the fabric.

    Now though, it’s more about trying to look and feel as much like a woman as I can. It’s about trying to look pretty. Before, it was mainly about the dresses, but now I want to shave my legs, put on makeup, have fake breasts, and wear wigs.

    Before, I never even thought about wearing high heels. Again, it was just about the feel of the dress. But now, I’m thinking about getting some, cause I like to feel like a woman.

    Again, I’m just wondering if everyone’s reason for crossdressing is the same as mine, or if everyone has their own reason (I imagine it’s the latter).

    Also, I’ve decided on “Belle” as my name. I wanted to hang on to “Ellie,” mainly because my favorite female fictional character is “Ellie” from the “Last of Us,” and I liked being named after a really cool character lol. Belle feels more right though.

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    • #435083
      Araminta Purdy
      Lady
      Registered On: January 23, 2020
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      I don’t think I answered this particular question.

      I cross-dress to be pretty. It is the same way anyone, female or male, who wants to be feminine and attractive tries to achieve those goals and enhance them with a pallet of artistic techniques.

      In fact, I do not feel that “cross-dress” is accurate. To me it is just “dress to be feminine and attractive”. Because it applies to many people of either sex I invented a neutral term, ‘athenase’ after the dressing, bedecking and beautifying of Pandora by Pallas Athena. I am an ‘athenist’.

      My sense is that discernible variations in motivation for masculine-to-feminine athenasing is that age at onset is significant. Particularly ages 2-5, 11-18, 40-70.

      Younger ones appear to be feminine gender invariant. They are girls, insist upon it and tend to be feminine all of their lives. Some change point-of-view upon puberty. But much depends on social environment and conventions. A three-year-old male who insists (justifiably) that he is a girl can learn very quickly NOT to bring up that subject again. They then subsume their real selves and invent a persona consistent with the requirements of the empowered and maybe live sad, grouchy lives. Opportunity is also a major issue.

      The pubescent male, in the majority of cases, find suddenly that the matter of femininity (especially in matters of decision-makings and assessments) suddenly lurches not only into sharp focus (and it was probably always a tickling curiosity) but to a degree that tends to blot out one’s vision of anything else. Often this intense desire to investigate more closely this thoroughly fascinating matter results in the intense need for acquire a tangible, feminine presence; just for Science you know. Usually the only available subject is one’s self. For some this might be seen as a ‘phase’ that phases out but for some (those curious from youth especially) this is a glorious Epiphany. There is music in the air, a light shines and one finds something in ones’ self that seems to have always been there, is soooo natural and makes you feel beautiful.

      Older onset athenasing I have not heard of too often, a few anecdotes of widowers possibly missing their spouses. But I also sense that, perhaps, these are instances where all along they needed desperately to be feminine and this was their first opportunity. Opportunity is always a major issue.

      So I athenase because something rooted firmly within me needs to be beautiful, feel feminine and feel that I am clean and smell nice. To be pretty! I call her:

      Araminta.

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    • #435070
      Michelle Cross
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      Registered On: January 8, 2021
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      Like many others, my first article of clothing was a nylon nightgown of my mother’s.  But once I put it on, the feeling was amazing but I also loved how it made me look like a girl (12 at the time), even without makeup or wig. I would just look at the neck down. Of course I got aroused and the dye was cast. I would come home from school and had a few hours to put on things and, well…  you know. I tried, hose, pantyhose, panties, slips, dresses, ,heels. Anything and everything in my mom’s dresser and closet. After marriage I continued with some of my wife’s things when I could, eventually buying my own things to fit better. Once the internet developed I  found there were others like me. Got a cheap wig, some makeup and continued to dress in private when I could. It did not matter if I dressed fully or not, just enjoyed the feeling and look of my legs/body in fem things. About 20  years ago I found a CD dressing service in Atlanta and decided to see what I could look like with proper foundations, makeup, wig and clothes. I had a 3 – 4 hour session taking a lot of digital pics. When I later reviewed the pics I was please and thought I made  a pretty woman. The lade that did the makeover had also complimented me on my looks and encouraged me to go out as Michelle as she thought I would pass. After that I started buying better wigs, breastforms, better makeup, etc. I went out with a CD group to a restaurant and bar. I went back to the CD service several times a year but usually stayed in. However, I never wanted to partially dress. If I dressed, I wanted to make the full transition and present as a woman (not a man in a dress). For me, now the “excitement” is being out as a woman … shopping, dining, meeting people, etc. and being accepted.  As a woman, other women treat you differently which I enjoy. Some men have hit on me but I wear a wedding ring set so I am  not interested (and I am NOT attracted to men). I enjoy all the clothing styles, shoes, etc. that I can wear as a woman that men can’t. Men’s clothing is so boring.

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    • #433656
      Celine Onaback
      Lady
      Registered On: November 14, 2017
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      I love to crossdress because I need to escape from my male self to get in touch with my female side. Every now and again, I will dress up as Wonder Woman (just for fun). Sometimes I can get bored by men’s clothing. However, I do get turned on by women’s clothing.

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    • #432087
      Edie Majeski
      Baroness
      Registered On: April 7, 2018
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      There was a time when I thought the feel of a sexy dress on me was the reason I dressed, but I’m not too sure that was the reason anymore. Yes, I use too wear a lot of sexy dresses as you might have notice from many of my pictures, but I don’t wear those dresses much anymore. Today I prefer a more casual, mature look. What I now notice that I get an extreme satisfaction at changing my male appearance into a very feminine appearance.

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    • #431488
      Samantha Peders
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      Registered On: May 12, 2020
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      With me too it was originally the feeling of the forbidden fabrics on my skin. I started with panties and pantyhose. I progressed on to satin dresses and leather skirts. I realize now that my desire to present as a woman is rooted in my wanting to be the object of desire for the men I love. As an adolescent I had several boyfriends. Some of them encouraged me to act like a girl. When I did they were very affectionate i find myself wanting to relive that. At the time I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed  it. I was too ashamed.  What a pity.

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    • #431476
      Requal Joanne Jones
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      Registered On: December 15, 2020
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      All of you lovely ladies have explained all the reasons for crossdressing so beautifully. For my summary it just brings out the femininity inside my male body and makes me feel wonderful.

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    • #431474
      Bettylou Cox
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
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      Short answer: Because I’m a girl; I just can’t pass the physical.
      Longer reply: When age and medications caused a hormonal shift, I felt the need to get more in touch with my feminine side – starting with ladies’ tees and jeans. In time, this need grew stronger, ending in a complete wardrobe, pierced ears and long, permed hair. All of my clothes are now ladies’ and I wear them because they feel right and natural on me.

    • #431454
      Carla
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      Registered On: September 16, 2016
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      I thought it was just about the clothes. In secret I wore them but quite quickly I needed the hair, then socks appeared in the bra. Now I have to look as feminine as possible. When I’m dressed I feel happy, content and alive. It’s a feeling I’ve never had for such a prolonged time in my life. As said previously… the first time ‘want’, the second time ‘need’.

    • #431445
      rhonda
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      Registered On: October 13, 2015
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      Once you try on fem clothing , it gets into your system , first I want too , second I need too

    • #431417
      Brittney Andrews
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      Registered On: August 1, 2019
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      When I first tried on women’s clothing it was because of the feel of the material; the soft cool feeling of nylon panties and slips. It was also the lite and airy, not thick and stiff, flow and movement of the material on my physical frame.

      Where as these reasons are still with me, I now realize the reason I want to wear women’s clothing is because of my feminine spirit. I’m gender fluid, the body of a male with the essence of a woman.

    • #431403
      Krista
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      Registered On: January 24, 2017
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      Hi Belle, It started for me when I was young (and that was a long time ago) and it was mostly about arousal.  Everything feminine was sensual;  the feeling of the clothes, etc.  But as I matured, my reasons also matured.  Every year I go on a solo retreat for a week to the Rocky Mountains where I have time to reflect about the past and think about the future.  Prior to my Mom passing away, she gave me my name, Krista.  After she passed, upon reflection, I realized that while my father wanted a “manly” son (which really never described me though I did try at one time), my Mom wanted a daughter.  So now I can be the daughter Mom never had and I’m quite happy about it.  If she was still with us, I know she’d be OK with it (father not so much).  My SO doesn’t understand and hates talking about it though I’ve tried many times. As soon as I mention it she cuts me off.  I guess I’m glad that my SO knows, let’s me dress around the house in front of her to a certain degree and has never told me to purge but it would be nice to talk to her about it.  Stay healthy, stay safe, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.

    • #431399
      Deborah Sullivan
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 27, 2020
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      Glad to see so many of us have had the same desires and feelings about crossdressing. Sure the feeling of all the different fabrics against the body and delightful fashions to express our moods and emotions. The clicking of heels on a wooden floor or long nails clicking on a computer. As we evolve then the understanding that we love the world as women and relating like that to the world. Having two personalities and characters in one body. Now spending more time as Debbie and shedding off my male drab self

    • #431394
      Kitty Van Curen
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      Registered On: November 3, 2020
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      I’d imagine this would be very expansive and extremely varied!…

      For me it began as a tribute to the people who I adore the most. The women in our lives. Looking as best as I can like them in a way to honour them. It evolved into my own pursuit and is a now a total ‘source’ for me. Primarily, it’s about ‘getting away with this’ And truly, that’s all there is to it for me!

      Thanks!! 🙂

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    • #431392
      Ginny Virginia
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      Registered On: December 22, 2020
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      Thanks, Belle, for the great post! I think I am in between two of your reasons: one, the feel of fabric and/or clothes on my body and two, trying to look and feel as much like a woman as I possibly can, given personal limitations and marriage. Being a man in women’s clothing brings out both the masculine (which I don’t want to lose but tone down) and the feminine (which I want to acknowledge and understand). Regardless, it gives me great peace and joy, something we need desperately during these crazy days!

      Hugs,

      Ginny

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    • #431382
      Wendy Swift
      Lady
      Registered On: May 11, 2020
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      Oh my goodness, where do I even begin ?

      – fabric/material.  I remember the first time I touched and wore my mom’s panties.  The fabric of the panties was incredibly soft and smooth.  As a small kid, I was confused as to why women’s panties were so soft and smooth while my tighty whiteys felt like burlap and 40 grit sand paper.  When I tried the panties on, even though I was a small kid, it felt right, the material was so smooth against the skin, and it just enveloped everything nicely.

      – fashion.  Let’s face it, men’s fashion is dull. Even an expensive tux is dull and boring.  What do men’s fashion consist of ?  Pants, shirt, and maybe a blazer.  Wow, incredibly dull.  Compare that to women’s fashion, you have a plethora of tops, bottoms like pants/skirts, dresses/gowns, and you can mix and match and come up with something new.  Shoes for guys is dull too, dress shoes and maybe runners ?  For women, pumps, flats, block heels, boots or even thigh highs, the list goes on and on.  Height of heels also adds to the already huge variety.  For me, swimwear.  Women’s swimwear has alot of variety, from bikinis to one piece, and within one piece you can further drill it down to beach one piece or competitve/racing one piece.  What do guys have ?  broad shorts or jammers.

      – feeling of dressing like a women.  Combine fabric/material and fashion, the feeling you get when you transform into a women is incredibly unbelievable.  When I transform into Wendy, I feel so relaxed, like all the stress from work as suddenly disappeared and I can be at ease with myself.  Irony here is after a day at work my wife cannot wait to take her bra off, for me I can wear a bra + shapewear all day and simply feel so comfortable and relaxed.

       

       

      • #431874
        Belle (Ellie) Porter
        Lady
        Registered On: January 4, 2021
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        For me, Dressing up like a woman relieves stress. When I put on a dress, it’s like everything is right in the world. As you said, the fabrics up against the skin feel amazing.

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    • #431261
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness
      Registered On: August 27, 2017
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      Because Caty has been an integral part of my life for over 40 years. Yes it was the arousal thing back in my youth, but this gradually morphed into me realising I have a very strong feminine side in my personality and it needs to come out whenever it can.(As in right now and it…. feels wonderful….

      I totally agree with other posts that male clothing is so boring, especially “undies”. So although I have the usual “quota” of the above, I hardly ever wear them. (medical appts etc). I wear female underwear 24/7 and especially enjoy winter when I wear heavy duty opaque tights. a/. they are lovely and warm and b/. I have arthritic knees.. so..

       

      Happy dressing

       

      Caty

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    • #431255
      Emily Alt
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
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      For me it started out to fulfill erotic fantasies. That gave way to stress relief and a desire to look like a woman. For the last few years I’ve dressed to match how I feel inside. I go about my business and tend to forget what I’m wearing. I see myself living full time in a few years. I want curves of my own.

    • #431021
      Celeste Jo
      Lady
      Registered On: April 26, 2020
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      I am generally a boring and by the numbers person so I like have an area of my life where I color outside the lines.

      Also, as I am not into most of what men in my area are into the fact that my wife is supportive of my dressing makes me feel more comfortable in my version of masculinity.

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    • #431018
      Krissy Richards
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
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      I crossdress because ive always felt very different from other men and ivev tried to purge it out of me but it never goes away so im slowly becoming the woman i know i am deep down and its going to be a long journey but im willing to do everything to make myself the person i want to be and that person is krissy

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    • #430818
      Sandy Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
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      For me, as with many, I liked the feel of the material and there was a strong arousal component.  This soon evolved to loving how I looked wearing the clothes and adding a little make up , admiring how feminine I could look.  Now I am really looking into presenting as feminine as possible and wanting to be treated as a woman when doing so.

      Sandy

      • #430872
        Belle (Ellie) Porter
        Lady
        Registered On: January 4, 2021
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        Sounds like you and I are in a similar boat. At first, it just felt good, but it’s evolved into wanting to be a girl.

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        • #431406
          Krissy Richards
          Registered On: June 11, 2020
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          It felt good and then the urges took over and I had to dress everyday or I would be really sad

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    • #430729
      Polly Stewart
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
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      Because, because, because, because… of all of the wonderful things it does!

      How very true!

      Male clothing is so restrained, restricted, rejected… oh, another suit day… my oh my what tie to wear? What… Khakis? Non! Ok beach today shorts and t-shirt… boring. No… not an orange vest day… ahhhh! Lace ups or sneakers or… perhaps jandels (flip flops)! I rest my case m’lud.

      I wanted be as sexy as the women I appreciated

      The first time I looked at my fully made up reflection I couldn’t understand why I never looked that attractive in my male guise despite many women desiring me.

      Being brought up by two wonderful women!

      Loving the click clack of my first heels echoing in my psyche.

      Having always given dressing advice to friends and acquaintances

      Getting to understand the entirety of me!

      Once I began I knew I couldn’t stop. I can repress of course but never stop! Give up the corseted life? Give up my Dior nylons? Give up my heels? Give up lipstick… are you mad? Give up my boobs? My jewelry, my scarves, my self? Jamais de la vie?

      This a road only once travelled xxx //Polly

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      • #430870
        Belle (Ellie) Porter
        Lady
        Registered On: January 4, 2021
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        Yeah, I’ve never loved men’s clothing. I don’t hate it, but it’s no where near as exciting or as comfortable as women’s clothing.

        What I like about being a girl is you can have a different look each day. You can have a different hairstyle, dress, nail color, etc.

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    • #430692
      Jo Jo Sweet
      Lady
      Registered On: September 22, 2019
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      There are many reasons that we dress. I rose from bed a 4am this morning and put on a cami top, sparkly jumper black skirt and tights with panties underneath, I almost forgot to mention the panties as I wear them every day and no longer own any mens underwear. Immediately I was dressed I felt right so I suppose it is something within that makes us want to dress. It is pointless trying to deny it as the urge will become too strong. I suppose it would be similar to anyone else trying to suppress their personality. If you love something just do it.
      Love to everyone. xx
      JoJo

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      • #431452
        Krissy Richards
        Registered On: June 11, 2020
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        Yes I’ve been purging my male clothes which is very liberating as it means I’ve got less items of mens clothes and sooner rather later I’ll have no option but to dress as a woman all the time, which I kinda do anyway

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      • #430864
        Belle (Ellie) Porter
        Lady
        Registered On: January 4, 2021
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        Our desire to crossdress comes from something deep inside of us. The only thing I can compare it to is the feeling that I was meant to become a writer. There’s something inside of me saying “you are a writer,” and there’s something else saying “you like women’s clothes.”

        Many think transgender and crossdressing people want to cross genders because of something that happened in their childhood. Not a traumatic incident, but that there was something that turned us into the way we are. I don’t think so. I think it’s just something in our bodies which tell us we need to crossdress.

        I knew I was a crossdresser after a had a dream where I was in a dress. I don’t think THAT is what made me a crossdresser. I think my inherent desire to crossdresser was just projected in the dream.

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        • #431453
          Ginny Virginia
          Lady
          Registered On: December 22, 2020
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          I have had those dreams as well, Belle! Very active and very vivid.

          hugs,

          Ginny

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    • #429985
      Laura Lovett
      Lady
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
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      You might just as well ask why we like to dress.

      That’s not a facetious remark, I’m serious – when we decide what we want to wear, we’re creating an image – and, like it or not, we’re apes, we want to emulate nice images that we’ve seen.

      The fashion industry tries it’s hardest to sell images, and we want to buy. We want that look for ourselves. We imagine what it would feel like to look like that – and women’s fashions are modelled by women, so when we men put on a dress and see the resulting image, few would head outdoors looking like that!

      We have to go all the way (not everyone, but most of us). We get the wig and shoes – but we need a bust, something to suggest hips, makeup, jewellery, a handbag – everything to make the image authentic and help us fit in, or at least, to look the part from a distance.

      Then we discover that we really like this image – we feel comfortable with it. That’s when you know you’re a full on cross dresser, in the sense that you’re a man dressing in images marketed to women.

      But I am a man who likes the looks that the industry sells to women – I have done since I was a small boy.

      Why should I be restricted in my choices when women aren’t?

      This isn’t a cry of “It’s not fair!!”, it’s a question to which there is no reasonable answer to say I cannot make my own choices.

      The instant a woman puts on makeup, she is creating an image that is not really her – it’s a created image.

      And yet it is her. The makeup enhances what she has, and she feels better when looking at the image in the mirror.

      We’re no different.

      Every “cross dresser” knows the moment when the lipstick has been applied (usually last), and the results can be admired.

      We’ve created our own image – we are mistresses of our own journeys. We are free to be our authentic selves.

      Love Laura

       

       

      • #430852
        Belle (Ellie) Porter
        Lady
        Registered On: January 4, 2021
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        I never thought of it that way. I suppose if I see an attractive female model I sometimes think “I wish I looked like her.” I guess non-crossdressing men (not sure what the proper term is) look up to male models, but for whatever reason, we crossdressing men look up to female models. I wonder why.

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        • #430903
          Laura Lovett
          Lady
          Registered On: March 26, 2020
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          Yes, it’s a very interesting question – thanks for asking it!

          All I know is that I loved what girls wore from age 4, and wanted to wear so many outfits!

          Around 9 or 10, I started looking at the ladies clothing in catalogues – the big catalogues that had everything, so I started ogling the toys, but kept going back, especially to the lovely dresses (and underwear!).

          I was almost desperate to wear those clothes – but why??

          I guess the marketing people did their job and sold the image – I may not have been the intended market, but I am still hooked!

          My first ever “catalogue” purchase arrived today – 3 dresses, a wrap and a pair of gorgeous ankle boots! Can’t wait to try them on 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

          Love Laura

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    • #429973
      Krissy Richards
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
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      Many reasons really, im different! Mens clothing bores me, I love feeling pretty and I love the feel of the materials and main reason I long to be a woman as im a total failure as a man xx

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      • #430840
        Belle (Ellie) Porter
        Lady
        Registered On: January 4, 2021
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        Men’s clothing is nowhere near as interesting as women’s clothing, and neither does it have as much variety. At formal events, you’ll see women with a variety of different outfits, while men can only suits. Shopping for suits doesn’t take long, seen as there aren’t many options.

         

        I wouldn’t say they’re boring though, but I totally understand why you think they’re boring. That’s not the reason I crossdress, but it’s interesting that you said that. For me, it’s more about feeling like a woman.

         

        I suppose as a woman you can style your hair in more ways than a man. If you’re a man and you have short hair (like most of them do), there’s only a few ways you can style it. The styles look good, but I wish there was more variety. Girls can have french braids, crown braids, fishtail braids, low ponytails, high ponytails, french twists, etc. Even if you’re a man with long hair, there’s only a small number of “acceptable”hairstyles you can have.

         

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      • #429993
        Krissy Richards
        Registered On: June 11, 2020
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        Has thanked: 348 times
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        Forget to mention the great pleasure and I love the support lingerie gives you and how sharewear can turn my slightly manly body into a buxom wench. There are so many reasons I could list so many. Womens lingerie is beautiful and mens is so 😴 boring 😴

        3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #429988
        Krissy Richards
        Registered On: June 11, 2020
        Topics: 2
        Replies: 147
        Has thanked: 348 times
        Been thanked: 423 times

        Thanks Laura xx

        1 user thanked author for this post.
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