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  • #396057
    Krissi S
    Participant
    Registered On: October 1, 2020
    Topics: 3
    Replies: 55
    Has thanked: 131 times
    Been thanked: 267 times

    Okay, this probably needs unpacking.

    So my wife is the only one (apart from this lovely community) who knows about my dressing up. When I go to buy my makeup, I either order online, or she is with me and she just buys it ‘for herself’ and I just hover behind her because I’m too much of a wuss.

    During these times, I’ve normally told her what I need, and then feign looking disinterested in the shop next to her. She normally needs to buy a few things for herself anyway, so she isn’t really going out of her way too much. That’s kinda been our system ever since my interest in dressing evolved into makeup too.

     

     

    So we’re in our local Superdrug (a health and beauty store in UK) looking at all the liquid foundations and primers and things. Today, my wife doesn’t actually need anything, and I can tell that she is getting a little bored trying to find the stuff I need. My wife is talking to the shop assistant for specific shades that she knows I use from past products. We’re filling our basket as the shop assistant is finding the products my wife is asking for.

    But at one point, she asks my wife a question about whether she wants to have a product that would help moisturize and hydrate her skin before she applies her makeup. My wife turns to me and asks whether I would like that type of product. I immediately freeze for a moment before just mumbling ‘yeah, that’ll probably be good,’ under my breath and in the basket the product goes. The shop assistant goes back to recommending other things for my wife.

    It is at this moment right now that my wife isn’t having anymore of it now, and after she is offered the next suggestion, she stops and then turns to me and replies that it’ll be easier if you ask him, as all of this (she gestures the basket) is for him.

     

    There is this slight pause as I see the shop assistant suddenly look at me for the first time and I assume have to quickly reassess all the advice she’d been previously telling my wife. I can feel my cheeks going a little red, even under my face mask, and for the life of me, I have no idea what that last suggestion to my wife was.

    Then it just becomes this surreal daze for me where for the first time ever, I am being talked to about how I would like my finished look to be, whether I’m going for the subtle or more striking approach. She recommends products based on the local trends and my skin complexion, she even suggests an alternative to one of the items I already have in the basket, now that she knows it’s not for my wife. My wife is mentioning that when I’ve tried applying my makeup in the last few months, I’ve said that I’ve struggled with certain aspects, which immediately throws any potential ‘Halloween’ excuse out the window. The conversation then moves onto colour correctors to hide certain typical male facial attributes, and whilst she doesn’t know exactly what would be best, is suggesting certain products that may conceal or help with any five0clock shadow. I’m just shyly nodding this whole time and saying ‘that sounds great,’ and ‘I think that may work,’ as my head-space has been completely screwed up throughout.

    When we’ve got our basket complete, we both thank the shop-assistant for her help and go to pay for our things… Well, this time they are all my things. The shop assistant isn’t even there anymore as we queue up, but I’m still feeling quite shell-shocked that I’m quiet as a mouse when my wife is talking to me.

     

    My wife and I start talking about what happened on the way home, and she said that she hoped that it would give me confidence for the future now that it’s happened, and that it’s 2020 and that she’s sure many guys wear and buy makeup. She knew that I would be awkward like I was, but she hoped that the next time ‘I’ went to buy ‘my’ makeup, I would be confident enough to just ask the shop assistants if I needed help choosing, whether my wife is there or not.

     

    And… in all honesty…

     

    …I think I might.

     

     

    Throughout the whole experience, the shop assistant was really professional and helpful and wasn’t judgmental or anything. I don’t know if this will always be the case, but after hearing someone give makeup advise tailored specifically for me’ for the first time ever, I feel it might be hard to just hide away in the future hearing second-hand advise for someone else.

    I’ve kinda just been processing all my feelings on this, as it literally happened a couple of hours ago, and that is why this has been a very rambly post, but a part of me feels extremely relieved that it has happened now.

     

    I guess my wife may know me better then I do sometimes and knew that I needed this push at this time.

Viewing 16 reply threads
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    • #397520
      Jessica Wilde
      Participant
      Registered On: October 5, 2020
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 42
      Has thanked: 50 times
      Been thanked: 331 times

      Wow! I have to say that I think my initial reaction would probably had been a strong urge to strangle her.

      It’s pretty awesome that the girl in the shop just shifted conversation to you and helping you get what you needed without missing a beat or even batting an eye. That part would have relaxed me and probably would have quelled the urge to strangle my wife. All in all that sounds like it must have been a pretty nice experience.

      I have only tried makeup maybe a handful of times but want to try again. What I would really like is for my fiancé to teach me how to do my makeup as she is awesome with her own makeup. She always looks stunning when she gets done with her makeup. Unfortunately me in makeup is a big problem for her so I’ll probably never get to have that experience.

      Glad your makeup trip was an unexpected pleasant surprise!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #397519
      Leslie
      Participant
      Registered On: September 14, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 41
      Has thanked: 324 times
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      Yes, l know the young lady I go to for makeup was the first non-family person I outed to. And she has been very supportive and professional and the closest to a GGgirl friend I have. Sometimes it is almost as if we were shopping together, kind of fun.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #397493
      Krissi S
      Participant
      Registered On: October 1, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 55
      Has thanked: 131 times
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      I just bought makeup on my own for the very first time today. A red lip liner and contour set (I had got a pink set a few weeks ago, but after recently getting my first red lipstick, I wanted something to go with it.)

       

      I still had butterflies as I was looking for what I wanted, but I didn’t care. I was just determined to keep going, and I am so happy I did it. Cashier didn’t blink an eye either when I went to pay for it.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #397527
        Amanda Burton
        Participant
        Registered On: January 15, 2020
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 230
        Has thanked: 2578 times
        Been thanked: 836 times

        Wow Krissi, congratulations, that a fantastic step in the right direction. As many of have said once you have over come the fear your mind builds up,and you experience your first purchase along, you can see that it’s no big deal to the assistant and many are extremely helpful too. So proud of you sweetie, it takes a lot of courage to extinguish your fears and triumph. Now you can enjoy the experience of make up shopping by yourself, it’s gorgeous you will be in heaven. So happy for you Krissi. Fabulous news.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #396314
      Bianca Everdene
      Participant
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 521
      Has thanked: 1681 times
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      Hi Krissi

      What a wonderful experience for you. Outed to a complete stranger! And realising those from whom you are buying are there to sell to anybody. And they usually are knowledgeable anout what they sell, and professional. Well done to your wife giving you that little push to gain your shopping ‘independence’.

      The more you do it the easier it really does become. I think it is also to with the nerves we show. If we appear terrified, the sales assistant will be less comfortable as well. Confidence is the key, whether it be clothes, make up, purses etc, I am here for ME, this is what I want, and I would like some help please?

      They will be so happy to help, and get a sale🤣Have even heard stories of membersbhere making friends ofbthe sales assistants who are hsppybto see you back.

      ❤️B

    • #396196
      Amy Myers
      Participant
      Registered On: February 11, 2019
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 1032
      Has thanked: 2592 times
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      I can imagine how you must of felt as well! However, I’d say if you folks are regulars then the staff might have figured it out anyway. So hopefully this will help you a lot in the future.

      I’ll tell you about my experience. Last summer I had a professional makeover at MAC Cosmetics, and it went great, however by the Fall my tan was fading (I’m caucasion but tan very heavily), and needed a new and lighter foundation to match my skin. So I went into our local drug store, which is a large chain here in Canada and, with my heart in my mouth a bit, asked a young woman about foundation. To which she then went into action!

      She sat me on a chair at the counter, whilst she buzzed around and got a few testers to try. Then, after asking my permission, she proceeded to try then all out on my cheek, one at a time. The cosmetic counter is right at the main entrance to the store, and a lot of other customers, mostly women came in, but I don’t think any of them gave me a second look. Most didn’t look at all.

      Then she went off to get a few more samples and I was still sitting there with makeup on my face too! Whew! She did get a very nice match to my skin tone, which I bought. She has since helped me with finding nails, and other cosmetics. Then last week I was into the same store, but later in the evening and another staffer came up as I was looking at some mascara and asked if she could help me. So I simply told her what I was looking for, and she was also helpful friendly and professional. Never did I get any kind of OMG, I can’t believe it’s a man vibes from them.

      I do live in a small town, and it would seem rather conservative at times, but even here in Farm Country folks seem to be very enlightened!

      Amy

    • #396184
      Paula F
      Participant
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 580
      Has thanked: 992 times
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      Congratulations Krissi on a positive huge step!!  We all have to cut those apron strings at some point, and your wife stayed right there ‘just in case’.  Make sure she knows how much that help was appreciated and needed to get you going.

      PaulaF

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #396164
      Mary Jane
      Participant
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 24
      Has thanked: 32 times
      Been thanked: 131 times

      I say, “Good on yah wife!” No one bats an eye lid when a bloke buys makeup today.

      I’m always buying makeup in drab. I’m unapologetic looking through the sales bins.

       

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #396106
      Rei Durden
      Participant
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 134
      Has thanked: 786 times
      Been thanked: 357 times

      This gives me courage as in the next few weeks I will be going make up shopping for the first time. I hope I’m as lucky as you, so glad it was such a positive day out!

    • #396095
      Kelly Terry
      Participant
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 86
      Has thanked: 60 times
      Been thanked: 313 times

      Congrat on another step out of the closet, and done by your SO never the less. I guess breaking down that barrier felt good in the end, do you think you can go to another store on your own to get some makeup tips?

      I wonder what your  next step will be, you ask the store clerk for help with buying a dress for your self?

      /kt

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #396197
        Krissi S
        Participant
        Registered On: October 1, 2020
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 55
        Has thanked: 131 times
        Been thanked: 267 times

        It did feel so good afterwards, and I think a lot of that had to do with having someone actually giving me specific advice for my makeup needs. As for going to other stores for makeup tips or even buying dresses…

        Well, I do feel a lot more confident about the situation now then I did earlier in the day…. We’ll see… 😳😅

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #396093
      Robin Snow
      Participant
      Registered On: May 7, 2019
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 196
      Has thanked: 1337 times
      Been thanked: 833 times

      Congrats!   Your wife did you a huge favor.  Shopping for makeup is not big a deal.  The SAs are very rather accepting of girls like us and are happy to help.

      Robin

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #396089
      Phoebe Smyth
      Participant
      Registered On: February 2, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 118
      Has thanked: 253 times
      Been thanked: 199 times

      I wish I could send you heart and hug gif’s. But how exciting and congratulations on her helping you pop that cherry.
      I’m glad it went well for you but many women in such jobs have worked with crossdressers and trans women. Yet we still get scared and flustered.
      Salons especially.
      You should treat your wife and yourself to a mani-pedi and maybe have your hair and makeup done & bring some apparel with you and go out on the town.
      If your not in a lock down state.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #396201
        Krissi S
        Participant
        Registered On: October 1, 2020
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 55
        Has thanked: 131 times
        Been thanked: 267 times

        She definitely deserves a mani-pedi at the very least. Maybe back/shoulder massages for the rest of the year too 😊

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #396084
      Grace Scarlett
      Participant
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 308
      Has thanked: 1793 times
      Been thanked: 1444 times

      Krissi

      I think your wife has done you proud, now you can ask your own questions, buying your own make up face to face….wow, how wonderful. As Amanda suggested, get back in there girl….get some lippy!!!!

      Warm huggs, grace xx

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #396081
      Heather Harrison
      Participant
      Registered On: August 3, 2020
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 103
      Has thanked: 643 times
      Been thanked: 477 times

      Hi Krissy,

      Your wife did you a big favor. It’s like teaching kids how to swim, throw them in the shallow end, stand by and make sure they don’t drown. Now you can swim!

       

       

    • #396076
      Tiff Any
      Participant
      Registered On: June 1, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 821
      Has thanked: 2360 times
      Been thanked: 1986 times

      Wonderful Krissi , sometimes a little or BIG push is what’s needed , panic & elation at the time but no doubt looking back you’ll laugh & thank her for the next level of freedom that was just opened up for you .

      Wish I was there to have watched it all 😉😉😉😄😄

      • #396194
        Krissi S
        Participant
        Registered On: October 1, 2020
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 55
        Has thanked: 131 times
        Been thanked: 267 times

        Yes, I’m definitely feeling the push was needed now, but at the time I had no idea what to think. I’m sure it would have toed the line between comical and cringy for anyone who watched😅. Hopefully next time it will be easier and I’ll be a little more verbose to the shop assistant.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #396072
      Regine Rich
      Participant
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 50
      Has thanked: 513 times
      Been thanked: 135 times

      How wonderful and exciting for you, Krissi, Congrats, and good luck:-)

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #396066
      Stephanie Bass
      Participant
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 743
      Has thanked: 6233 times
      Been thanked: 2206 times

      Wow Krissi  what a wonderful exsperiance  you had and a careing wife to help with a little push.LOL. to get you going in to the wonderful world of makeup as Krissi needs to make her pretty . and hoe wonderful it is you have a wife who is supportive of Krissi  as to help her . Same as me im still a home girl and will never go out as Stephanie as we live in a small community and cant come out side of home with out real complications as having to move away from family and such . So happy for you getting that push you needed.LOL.  and hope you keep up that confidence and try by your self next time.

      Hugs girlfriend

      Stephanie Bass

    • #396064
      Amanda Burton
      Participant
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 230
      Has thanked: 2578 times
      Been thanked: 836 times

      Hi Krissi, well the cat is out there bag now. But she is right that many men wear make-up now. I can imagine you wanted the ground to open up, and I am sure your wife didn’t do out of spite. Maybe she realised you did need that push, or guessed the assistants realised just maybe over a period of time, that indeed not all the make up was indeed for her. I buy from super drug on a regular basis, never been questioned once, and all with professional service too. The best thing I would do is walk straight back in and buy something feminine like a lippy, it will tame the nerves and give you confidence, and prove the assistants are not bothered at all.. Most retailers have very high levels of customer service and confidentiality.

      • #396189
        Krissi S
        Participant
        Registered On: October 1, 2020
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 55
        Has thanked: 131 times
        Been thanked: 267 times

        Hi Amanda, I was very impressed by the customer service, and although I cannot vouch that it will always be that way, it did alleviate a lot of fears I had. I like your advice about going back there soon and getting something feminine on my own in the future.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
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