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Okay, this probably needs unpacking.
So my wife is the only one (apart from this lovely community) who knows about my dressing up. When I go to buy my makeup, I either order online, or she is with me and she just buys it ‘for herself’ and I just hover behind her because I’m too much of a wuss.
During these times, I’ve normally told her what I need, and then feign looking disinterested in the shop next to her. She normally needs to buy a few things for herself anyway, so she isn’t really going out of her way too much. That’s kinda been our system ever since my interest in dressing evolved into makeup too.
So we’re in our local Superdrug (a health and beauty store in UK) looking at all the liquid foundations and primers and things. Today, my wife doesn’t actually need anything, and I can tell that she is getting a little bored trying to find the stuff I need. My wife is talking to the shop assistant for specific shades that she knows I use from past products. We’re filling our basket as the shop assistant is finding the products my wife is asking for.
But at one point, she asks my wife a question about whether she wants to have a product that would help moisturize and hydrate her skin before she applies her makeup. My wife turns to me and asks whether I would like that type of product. I immediately freeze for a moment before just mumbling ‘yeah, that’ll probably be good,’ under my breath and in the basket the product goes. The shop assistant goes back to recommending other things for my wife.
It is at this moment right now that my wife isn’t having anymore of it now, and after she is offered the next suggestion, she stops and then turns to me and replies that it’ll be easier if you ask him, as all of this (she gestures the basket) is for him.
There is this slight pause as I see the shop assistant suddenly look at me for the first time and I assume have to quickly reassess all the advice she’d been previously telling my wife. I can feel my cheeks going a little red, even under my face mask, and for the life of me, I have no idea what that last suggestion to my wife was.
Then it just becomes this surreal daze for me where for the first time ever, I am being talked to about how I would like my finished look to be, whether I’m going for the subtle or more striking approach. She recommends products based on the local trends and my skin complexion, she even suggests an alternative to one of the items I already have in the basket, now that she knows it’s not for my wife. My wife is mentioning that when I’ve tried applying my makeup in the last few months, I’ve said that I’ve struggled with certain aspects, which immediately throws any potential ‘Halloween’ excuse out the window. The conversation then moves onto colour correctors to hide certain typical male facial attributes, and whilst she doesn’t know exactly what would be best, is suggesting certain products that may conceal or help with any five0clock shadow. I’m just shyly nodding this whole time and saying ‘that sounds great,’ and ‘I think that may work,’ as my head-space has been completely screwed up throughout.
When we’ve got our basket complete, we both thank the shop-assistant for her help and go to pay for our things… Well, this time they are all my things. The shop assistant isn’t even there anymore as we queue up, but I’m still feeling quite shell-shocked that I’m quiet as a mouse when my wife is talking to me.
My wife and I start talking about what happened on the way home, and she said that she hoped that it would give me confidence for the future now that it’s happened, and that it’s 2020 and that she’s sure many guys wear and buy makeup. She knew that I would be awkward like I was, but she hoped that the next time ‘I’ went to buy ‘my’ makeup, I would be confident enough to just ask the shop assistants if I needed help choosing, whether my wife is there or not.
And… in all honesty…
…I think I might.
Throughout the whole experience, the shop assistant was really professional and helpful and wasn’t judgmental or anything. I don’t know if this will always be the case, but after hearing someone give makeup advise tailored specifically for ‘me’ for the first time ever, I feel it might be hard to just hide away in the future hearing second-hand advise for someone else.
I’ve kinda just been processing all my feelings on this, as it literally happened a couple of hours ago, and that is why this has been a very rambly post, but a part of me feels extremely relieved that it has happened now.
I guess my wife may know me better then I do sometimes and knew that I needed this push at this time.
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