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Hello All,
It’s been about 2yrs since my husband admitted to me what I had suspected from about one and a half years before that. We were two months off our wedding and I know this is going to sound very wrong and selfish but I kinda forced to tell be the truth. My reason is that I did not what to start our married life with lies. As I had said I had suspected for quite a while and every-time I draught it up I was told I was being silly. Once he told me the truth I was fully supportive and we talked about how we were going to include Chloe in our lives. All though I’m supportive I was a little apprehensive in meeting Chloe as I was not sure how it would be. So we agreed to go at my pace. We started by doing each other’s make and my husband and I went shopping for new make for her as she only had scraps of what she could buy cheap online so I kitted her out with some nice new stuff. I have not yet seen Chloe in full hair, makeup and clothes but this is my aim. After this then who knows, want will happen. All I know is I love my husband and Chloe as she is part of him.
Two years on from this we are not any further and we stop the make up evenings, however it was taken up with trying to find our own place. COVID then hit and I was made to shield as I’m a clinical vulnerable person and I sunk into depression therefore, sadly Chloe got pushed into the cupboard while my husband supported me as I was not aloud out and see friends, family and work, which is not just a job to me it is who I am and takes up part of being. In December 2020 things got a bit better for me, I was back in work and we got our owe place. However in moving an argument about getting Chloe’s clothes etc out of the old loft. He kept saying we will just leave it there and I was saying no it’s part of who you are and he then said it will be better if we leave it all there for us all. This is the moment I realise that Chloe was back in the closet again and it was my fault. I managed to get him to bring Chloe’s stuff with us. So my plan was to see if I could encourage Chloe back into our lives again. Sadly in back in isolation, but this time I have more support from colleagues at work who are helping with my mental health. To help Chloe I have looked at some you tube videos for some support and I’m here to get support and advice from both MTFCD and their wife’s / SO.
sorry if at times I may have seemed selfish to their needs. I’m a supportive wife and love my husband and Chloe very much. I’m also here to ask any questions that might be in a newly come out to wife/SO
hope to hear from people soon
PurplaAngel
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Hey girl, it’s very hard for any crossdresser to find a partner like you who support crossdressing. Your husband is really lucky to have partner like you. Good luck to you both. Keep helping your girl.
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I am a wife of a CD’ing hubby. While we have been married for 15 years, this is newly-found news for me. I have went through a numerous different feelings and emotions about it. I know it took so much for him to tell me about it and I fear my wishy-washey feelings will push him back into the closet as well. I do not want this bc we have become so much closer during all of this.
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Registered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 14Replies: 114Has thanked: 98 timesBeen thanked: 533 timesYou truly are an Angel I know it’s not easy and I wish you and your partner every success. Covid has pressured all of us and has brought me out to my wife only 11 days ago. Living remotely and then being shielded has meant that Lisa who was already repressed added to my mental stresses and resulted in deep depressions and mood swings. We had a conversation, not the first, to talk things through and I told her about my crossdressing. She immediately recommended that if I wanted to wear panties I should do so. She helped me allocate space for my lingerie in the bedroom and has even given me some panties and a skirt. It’s not all plain sailing and there are ups and downs and further discussions but I’m very hopeful.
My angel of course did her own research and on about day 3 sent me this link. http://karenannetaylor.orgfree.com/contents.html The article on Jung was the one that caught her attention but the one on “A modified Harry Benjamin’s scale” also caught mine. In both I could see my journey and it was strongly reaffirming to see my transvestism codified in this way.
sending you both best wishes
Lisa xx
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If she I on here and wants to talk to someone, I’m here for her. Also like wise for you if you what to ask me more on my development as a wife of a crossdresser I’m more that will to share. Private message me if both of you wish
take care
PurpleAngel xxx
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Welcome PurpleAngel!
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Update:
First of all I would love to say thank to all the Lovely ladies that have replayed either here or in private. I’m overwhelmed by the love and support you have all shown me.
So a few nights ago I asked my Husband if I could do Chloe’s makeup as I have picked up some nice new ideas and I have recently got myself some new makeup, but as I’m again in shielding and not aloud out that I wonder if Chloe could try it out for me. He smiled and replied with “yes, only if you want to”. With that I smiled and went upstairs to get my makeup box (all Chloe’s stuff is in the loft after moving just before Christmas, he said that he wants to have a sort out of everything). So that went extremely well.
The next evening I told him that I had joined this website, to help me get advice from other so I was not asking him questions all the time. He said that he did not mind me asking questions, however he was also happy that I had another place to talk to like minded people. I also approached the subject that I would like to see more of Chloe in the near future when she is ready and got her wardrobe sorted out.
So finally this is update so far. I will continue you up date you on our journey together if you wish. I am also happy to except private message or friend request from those who wish to offer advice privately or share their story with me.
Again I wish to thank all the kind words, I started to try reply to everyone separately however I had more messages than I thought I would have.
lots of luv
PurpleAngel
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This is very helpful with the shame that comes along with a closeted CD. I have not been able to fully disclose Michele to my wife and it is very hard at times. Keep up the good work
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- Registered On: January 14, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 144Has thanked: 25 timesBeen thanked: 608 times
Hi PurpleAngel,
The world needs more beautiful people like you. My wife is also immune compromised due to her cancer treatment. During this horrible pandemic we have struggled as have most. Since she likes Stephanie a lot, I at least wear panties everyday. It is a morning ritual for me to show her the “panty of the day”. Maybe you could start small like that by just replacing all the male underwear with panties in his dresser. You might want to just let him know that you really want Chloe to be part of your life. I know that when my wife encourages me to get “really pretty” I am sooo happy. Maybe you could set a date night for Chloe and do those girly things like makeup and nails. I have been doing my wife’s nails since the pandemic started. I always dress up and we have a really relaxing “girlfriend” experience. Maybe when he gets home from work, have Chloe’s things laid out on the bed and let him know that you expect to see Chloe that evening to hang out with. I know that a lot of these things may seem pretty drastic, but maybe you just need to initiate since he can’t seem to help himself. Since I discovered Stephanie, she has really helped her grow by pushing my limits and my confidence has grown because of it. Also my love for her grows everyday because of her acceptance of “all” of me. Sometimes the stress of this pandemic is overwhelming but I know that he will be much more relaxed and happy when dressed as do I. That in turn will make your life better also. I do hope that you can help him back out of the closet. I am sure you know by now but “GG”is a genetic girl. Best wishes on your journey… Stephanie
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Registered On:Topics: 1Replies: 31Has thanked: 27 timesBeen thanked: 186 timesWow I was not expecting this, it has hit home with me very much. I totally get it and I know why Chloe went back into hiding. My wife and I have been married for 15 years, 10 of which she new but I lied and to keep her I put Katie away. I would of course be deceptive and hide/lie about everything, I was afraid to come out and I was afraid of her leaving me as she was the one true love for me. About two years ago we came to that point of neither of us was happy anymore so I told her I needed to be the person I am inside, to my surprise and many therapy sessions later along with the worst fights and depression, wanting to take my own life as well, we finally reached a point where we made peace and are doing much better. Don’t worry I’m getting to the point lol. Pre COVID I was going out and being who I wanted to be with her and also by myself, once COVID came about I myself started to drift away from dressing all the time to sometimes not at all. It’s like during hard times or extremely hard times I was not feeling like dressing not because of my wife but because life had thrown me a challenge and in protecting my family and health as well as my wife’s health it was just easier to focus on survival, after all that’s why most of us were in the closet in the first place, to survive. If I had any advice it would be to love him, keep close to one another and support each other and eventually she will come out again once the threat is gone. I live in Los Angeles which is a COVID hot spot and I have family and friends dying and it’s just a mess so I dress less at the moment. It’s because I’m just trying to survive and hopefully when it’s all over my wife and I can go out together again with me as Katie. I also know that it takes a lot of effort to dress and feel good about yourself so if your in a crisis then most likely it’s just temporary. Maybe talk about places or trips you may want to take or places to go after all this is done. I do know I feel it, the survival instinct is real and living where I live it’s basically knocking on my door I do not go anywhere, I order everything online Katie hasn’t stepped foot in a store since and it’s heartbreaking to feel that way but it’s true. I hope you get through all this, I hope we all do, it’s hard times for us with gender issues in a pandemic as it has affected my life to its core. I hope this helps.
Katie B
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What a great post Katie transblessings from down under! Xxoo
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- Registered On:Topics: 1Replies: 31Has thanked: 27 timesBeen thanked: 186 times
Thank you Sophia, it actually helped me to get that out as I’ve been having trouble during this last year and it was getting dark. Let the light shine in to help me see my way back to how things used to be.
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On Katie I could here that in your post and did concern me!
I know what you mean when life is out of kilter so to speak it’s so difficult to focus on our femme needs!
I believe this is due to our inner femininity has been denied most our lives and plays second fiddle!
Take heed that we understand and love to express this phenomenon but creative fulfilling feminine life!
Love to keep in contact and chat!2 users thanked author for this post.
- Registered On: December 8, 2020Topics: 23Replies: 425Has thanked: 2619 timesBeen thanked: 1523 times
Hi Purpleangel, you sound like an absolutely wonderful woman. There not much I can say that hasn’t already been said. I agree with Taralynn, assure him that it’s safe for Chloe to come out when she wants to and store her clothes until then. Once again I’d love to say you are a remarkable woman and welcome to the CDH family.
Love Tish
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Hi PurpleAngel,
As a crossdresser myself, I have experienced many periods in my life when Katie went back into the closet voluntarily. Actually there was nothing I could do about it. There was just no need for Katie to be there and I didn’t feel bad about it either. What I did know however, that Katie was never fully gone. And at some point she wanted to come out again.
It is great that you are so supportive of Chloe and I know from experience how important it is to have an SO who actively supports you. If Chloe is just a little like me, she is still there, but she has no need to surface at this moment. For me it happened at times when the focus is on other things, like for example the health of your SO or other important events.
For what it is worth, my advice would be to just give it time. Chloe will come back for sure and with your amazing support, she will thrive and stay longer and longer each time.
Warm regards,
Katie9 users thanked author for this post.
- Registered On: November 2, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 155Has thanked: 785 timesBeen thanked: 565 times
Hi PurpleAngel
You are a truly amazing woman/wife. I’m transgender, but I was denying that for about 50 years and I have just come out. It was a real life changer for me. Could it be that your husband hasn’t accepted for himself that he is a cross dresser. Still there is a voice in my head that says “ what are you up to, are you out of your mind”, even though I know I’m on the right way.
If you want to help him and to me it seams that you actually like him dressing. So maybe you should sit down with him and tell him what you feel and that it’s all right to dress. There are so many out there all over the world. And no matter where we come from, almost everybody can feel shame and fear of what we are doing until you finally accept that it is no strange thing to do. And maybe he is afraid what other people will say if they finds out. You are so right to support him. And as I said in the beginning, you are amazing. Make him feel amazing too when he is fully dressed. 💕💕💕
Lots of Hugs
Lily-Rose
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- Registered On: October 17, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 1095Has thanked: 8581 timesBeen thanked: 1985 times
Hi Purple Angel, Teralynn here. Welcome to our wonderful online community. You will find lots of love and support here. I look at crossdressing from a psychological perspective. Concentrating on the the why and how of crossdressing matters rather than helping with fashion and makeup type matters. I would like to congratulate you for being so accepting and supportive of your husband’s crossdressing. I would recommend that you not push him in either direction on his crossdressing journey. There are many reasons why crossdressing people decide to stop crossdressing, but statistics show that most crossdressers that stop will get the urge to do it again and as the years go by the urge get stronger. The best thing you do it is let him is let him know that should he ever want to express Chloe again it will not be a problem with you, and leave it at that. If you miss Chloe than you can let him know that in a casual manner like telling him a pretty dress would look nice on Chloe if you were still dressing dear. But don’t suggest that he start dressing again. Instead let him decide on his own. Meanwhile, join the support group for significant others and you will get help and understanding. We have lots of knowledgeable and friendly people on this site who will make you feel at home. If I can ever be of further service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall or a private message will get the fastest response. – Blessings
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- Registered On: December 21, 2017Topics: 6Replies: 309Has thanked: 34 timesBeen thanked: 686 times
PurepleAngel
Firstly welcome, you have come to the right place for support. You should be congratulated for trying to support your husband in a positive way, I suspect he blames himself for your mental issues, but try to reassure him. You re right Chloe is part of him, aways has been and always will be you just try to find a way in which she can be included in your lives, easy to say hard to do, but I am sure it will be worth it in the end……………………
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- Registered On: January 23, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 276Has thanked: 397 timesBeen thanked: 951 times
Quite right! Never purge! Perhaps cull out worn out or no longer relevant garments (gives one a reason to go SHOPPING) but otherwise, store the rest away carefully in a trunk or something. The odds of wanting the feminine clothing in the future are actually quite high.
You did good! Very good indeed!
Araminta.
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- Registered On: July 28, 2020Topics: 20Replies: 776Has thanked: 6958 timesBeen thanked: 3235 times
You truly are an Angel for being so supportive to your husband and Chloe Luv…
There is nothing wrong IMO if your husband want’s to go back in the closet. Let him do what he needs to do for now. One day he will open up again.
Gen… ❤
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- Registered On: June 26, 2017Topics: 26Replies: 4792Has thanked: 8270 timesBeen thanked: 8282 times
PurpleAngel ..welcome, it’s wonderful to have you here with us and for you to be here together with your husband is very special indeed. Help and support here is for everyone, for your husband true understanding of what this all means. This this is certainly the place your spouse find many of the answers she is seeking. Look into our forums written by others who talk about their experiences, their questions they may ask with many offering help and advice so everyone can understand better on so many confusing topic . Many face this troubling ordeal but be asured there is support and help from everyone here . Relax, get comfortable and both of you enjoy being part of this wonderful community that really does care for all that passes through our doors. And to you lovely GG lady , a place to have your questions and concerns answered . It’s certainly a major issue in a lot of relationships. We all need a place to have others to talk with, to listen and show compassion and help better your own feelings as one continues to grow and discover more of this complicating course in life . There’s a group you may like to know ( wives & significant others ) where ladies like yourself can offer their help to questions only you would like to ask them.
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/groups/wives-and-significant-others/
No body is left out, that ‘s what makes this such a wonderful place to belong. Best to the both of you and hope to hear from you soon. Hugs!!!
Stephanie 🌹7 users thanked author for this post.
Thanks Stephanie for all your helpful and supportive words so far. I’m fairly new to the and a thought some abbreviation are obvious some are not to me, What does GG stand for, sorry to ask and if you get back to me and say what it is it will properly slap me in the face lol. I have asked to Join the group of Wives and SO however have not yet had response.
Luv
Purple Angel
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- Registered On: September 10, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 48Has thanked: 57 timesBeen thanked: 231 times
Please please please contact me if you want to talk!! This is a very tuff subject and you both need support and help. If Chloe is on here please have her contact me also. I want to help!!
Riley 💋
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Hi Riley, I have sent a Friend request, there we can talk. Chloe is not on here as she is on another support forum for just CD. I really hope that we can talk at some point
Luv
PurpleAngel
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Wow you are a very special woman and I hope you get the support you need from this forum! Glad to assist if I can!
Kind regards Sophia xo5 users thanked author for this post.
Thanks Sophia, I’m not a speical woman. Just a woman that is open to the world and what it brings. I wish the whole world would see this view and see that we are special in our own way no matter what race we are, what sexual oritation we are, weather you like to dress occationally in the opposite genders clothes or feel that you are not the right gender and need to transition. However when it come to my husband, Chloe and myself I just need to have more time go get to know Chloe. As I said I’m open to the idea and will always be supportive, just am afraid of say or doing sometime wrong to upset them both. Hopefully with the support from here I can help them.
luv
PurpleAngel
xxx
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- Registered On: February 3, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 64Has thanked: 1248 timesBeen thanked: 219 times
Hello PurpleAngel,
You are a treasure beyond measure and Chloe does not yet realize just how lucky she is to have you in her life. I am going to share with a link to a downloadable PDF that was written with spouses like you in mind. You are further ahead in the process than many others but if you show it to Chloe it might help her understand where you are coming from.
Best of luck to both of you.
Big hugs
Rowena
Helping Wives of Crossdressers to Understand and Cope
Click on the link that shows “gendercentre.org.au › support-resources › cross-dressing > PDF” in order to automatically download the article.
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