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  • #654412
    rebekka moore
    Registered On: January 7, 2017
    Topics: 94
    Replies: 1098
    Has thanked: 679 times
    Been thanked: 2784 times

    Well as we know yesterday was Father’s Day.  We did the usual, bbg, and such, young adult kids where home and I received cards with nice messages from everyone, including my Wife.

    The card she gave me what heavily referencing the “MAN”, IN BIG BOLD LETTERS.

    the MAN i married

    the MAN i see,

    the MAN this and that

    I was really (and still am) put off with this.  Because I was bbq’ing too, I was dressed more in drab than usual, not wanting to get nice things messy.  She even commented on this!  Saying I didn’t “look like I usually do”.

    I want to tell her but I know it will turn into a big argument.  I may in the days to come, but was just really put off and annoyed.

    Thanks for listening,


Viewing 13 reply threads
  • Author
    • #658458
      Eileen Bach
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 304
      Has thanked: 158 times
      Been thanked: 1197 times


      You are a husband and father, what better day to remind you of this? Many more women might be accepting of a husband’s cross dressing if she were sure the man she married isn’t going away. Obviously, you wife is giving a less than subtle hint, that you’ve gone beyond her comfort level.


      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #658428
      rebekka moore
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 94
      Replies: 1098
      Has thanked: 679 times
      Been thanked: 2784 times

      Hello Everyone.  Instead of hitting the “thanks” button on every reply I’ll just say, I really appreciate all of the feedback and perspectives.  It really helps, especially (and sincerely), those that differ from mine!  I’m obviously reacting through an “emotional eye” with clouded and preconceived vision.  So those comments really help!

      Thank all of you Lovely Ladies!


      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #655038
      Lara Tucker
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 856
      Has thanked: 18994 times
      Been thanked: 3057 times

      Sorry to hear that your wife brought this up in a card on Father’s Day.
      I think I would let things cool a little, and maybe have a discussion then. Things could get too hot in a hurry if you are both still worked up.

      I hope things work out well for you both!


      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #655033
      Jackie Davis
      Registered On: May 9, 2022
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 32
      Has thanked: 83 times
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      I wouldn’t go looking for a fight on this. She gave you a card and she mentioned your appearance in a non-negative light. You’ve chosen to interpret both as negative comments from her, but the only thing that makes them negative is how you interpret them. Personally, I’d ignore those comments – it’s not what I’d want to have “the big argument” over. Besides, if she was trying to be snide and you respond to it, you are taking the bait. I’d let it go.

      On the flip side, I’m in an unhappy marriage, so what do I know? 🤷😁

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #655123
        Emily Alt
        Duchess - Annual
        Registered On: August 24, 2019
        Topics: 14
        Replies: 786
        Has thanked: 650 times
        Been thanked: 3727 times

        Agree.  As they say, pick your battles wisely.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #655029
      Jess Secret
      Registered On: February 18, 2021
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 406
      Has thanked: 1036 times
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      I’m sorry to hear that Rebekka, and my advice would be what a few others here have said, which is you and her need to sit down and have a talk about everything. Innuendo and lack of communication isn’t healthy for a relationship and if she’s upset about your dressing the both of you need to communicate to work things out, one way or another. Things will get worse if that doesn’t happen.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #655020
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 699
      Has thanked: 3992 times
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      Hi Rebekka:

      I’d have that talk with your wife, otherwise you’ll both live with too much unhealthy tension.

      I had “the talk” with my wife and was prepared to pack-my-bags. It didn’t happen. She just shrugged her shoulders and said, “Yeah, I know.”

      But our talk was more than just about fashion. It was also about gender, identity and my trans feelings. Once I spilled those beans it all became more clear for her and, dare I say, accepting! We’re still together and having fun! (BTW, my wife is a Tomboy. She owns one dress and only two pairs of pantyhose, black and nude. I um.. have hundreds!! LOL!!)

      However… I don’t think you’ll get the same reaction as I got, but I so hope I’m wrong!!

      So here’s a twist: I can see it from her point of view. I am very pansexual. When I see a masculine man BBQing with commitment so his guests are fed well and takes the time to ensure everyone is enjoying themselves plus throws the ball with all the kids and compliments a woman with class and respect, I get very turned on as a woman. The last thing I want to see that man wearing is a bikini and high heels. I’ll wear those, thank you very much!

      Not sure if this helps, but good luck!


      • This reply was modified 1 week ago by Barb Wire. Reason: Grammar!!
      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #654959
      Kim Dahlenbergen
      Registered On: November 18, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 121
      Has thanked: 78 times
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      I would say that your wife is clearly sending a message. So, maybe its time to sit down and talk about what that means to you and her. I don’t like to see relationships fail due to cross dressing, but at the same time I don’t think any partner in a relationship should be controled by the other. There needs to be room for self expression and growth. I hope the two of you can find a way to make it work in a mutually fulfilling manner.

      My ex and I could not.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #654951
      Mary Jane
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 527
      Has thanked: 841 times
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      We have enough problems controlling how we feel. We certainly cannot control how others feel.

      My wife married a man. And sleeps with her man. And likes me as a man. She has no control over her emotions and thoughts.

      The same as I find it repugnant and repulsive (even if dressed enfemme) to think about flirting with or doing more with another guy. I like women. And I like my wife being a woman.

      I can make all the philosophical reasonings and excuses about perhaps if… but, thats not the reality.

      Anyways. Life is complicated. It sounds like your wife doesn’t want to be a lesbian.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #654918
      Olivia Livin
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
      Topics: 56
      Replies: 1655
      Has thanked: 9543 times
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      Hi Rebekka

      Bummer on fathers day. I too dressed less for the day, my gf noticed and asked, “cuz its fathers day not mothers day” we and my daughter laughed.

      From what you’ve written in the past, she already has a good idea of who you actually are, she’s just shall we say unappreciative of it and thats unfortunate. You probably should have an honest conversation about it if you plan to continue with your rights to growing and being happy with yourself. But, theres a pretty good chance of raised negativity from her side.


      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #654873
      Amy Myers
      Registered On: February 11, 2019
      Topics: 23
      Replies: 1644
      Has thanked: 4908 times
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      I understand your feelings, as I would feel much the same. Perhaps she was happy to see you dressed more drab than usual? Though what you should do about is the really difficult thing to decide.

      If you can let it roll off your back that might be the best for household harmony, but it depends on how you feel a few days later.


      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #654856
      Stephanie Bass
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 3592
      Has thanked: 51824 times
      Been thanked: 12751 times

      Hi Rebekka so sorry girl that your wife is reluctant to support you as the girl you are in your heart heres hope for you💖💖💖 to hopfully change that feeling someday and be accepted as a girlfriend as well as a husband ..


      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #654852
      Emily Sis
      Registered On: March 25, 2021
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 75
      Has thanked: 88 times
      Been thanked: 411 times

      I know that sentiment all too well. Sorry.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #654423
      Diane Rakers
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 1011
      Has thanked: 1788 times
      Been thanked: 3528 times

      Hi Rebekka,

      I’ve been a member of CDH for 3 years and, by far, the biggest challenge, is dealing with our wives,

      There are those wives who are “on board”, but for the most part there is grudging acceptance at best.

      Very tough, Rebekka. Very tough.


      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #654420
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 80
      Has thanked: 377 times
      Been thanked: 229 times

      That is a shame that your wife saw fit to use such an occasion to gaslight you. I have to say that I would be very unhappy with such behaviour.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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