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so lately ive been feeling really hard to fight the urge to transtion. ive been having really bad anxiety attacks as well im going to talk to a therapist next week. im just curious if anyone else feels the same way about transitioning or are they happy just staying a crossdresser lately ive become sooo confused.
Hi Vanessa,
For me, the urge to transition is means that I will become who I truly am. When you say that you are fighting it, that is a hard way to live. It’s like constantly being at war with yourself. That can cause the anxiety that you are talking about. Your therapist should be able to help you think this through.
I had anxiety and depression my whole life. I spent many years in therapy. Through all those years, my real self was stuffed down and suppressed. Unknowingly, it made progress almost impossible. A few years ago, I started to figure things out. Being my true self has alleviated most of my anxiety and depression.
Hugs,
Chloe
As I understand it you are describing the situation that ultimately defines someone who should transition. The utter, absolute almost-life-or-death NEED to be as female as possible and to be able to live and be accepted as female.
Perhaps you could begin by clearly defining the strategy and tactics of transitioning. Training, logistics and timing. For example, strategy might be your informing people in an expanding circle or tell every at once at once. Tactics would be how you go about it. Training would be like the usually-required Real Life Experience. Sort of catching up on skills absent in youth and becoming accustomed to being a woman an still being ‘made’. Logistics would be putting procedures in order. For example, at what point would you officially change your name on birth records, credit cards. bank accounts, etc., etc., etc. Then there is the cost. Can you afford it? How can you come to be able to afford it?
If you feel the need to transition that strongly then you should be planning. And if that doesn’t make you anxious, nothing will.
But relax. You aren’t going through surgery tomorrow, even if you wanted to. You have time to breathe and think and there are lots of people who have been through what is happening to you. Talk to them, listen carefully and then make up your own mind.
On the other hand, ‘cross-dressing’, isn’t just the clothing. I really do not believe that cross-dressing is just emulating women but being women. I have actually changed my personal lexicon to reflect that belief.
So you have choices, but they have similar difficulties in spite of a generation of accumulated knowledge and information. So, you still need to plan.
I do not know whether to congratulate on embarking on a wonderful adventure or commiserate with your present (and very valid) fears.
Good luck!
Araminta.
I have decided to push my masculine identity away and invite Nicole in as my full time identity. It makes me sooo calm to finally allow that to happen.
I’m on Doctor prescribed hormones and have surgery scheduled early next year, COVID willing. I have posted more details under this forum.
💕Nicole
Ohh… Nicole…
How wonderful! I’m in your camp all the way! I’m making my way through this psychological maze myself. A very different journey and one which is irreversible. I have become more Polly than I could’ve imagined and that has led to discussions about HRT etc… boobs are a must and HRT is becoming an important step… have to come out to my GP soon.
Go for it Girl… ❤️ Polly
Well… at the moment you will have to fly to New Zealand and go into a two week quarantine that you will have to pay for. Then come into Christchurch to see me and my lovely wife… then I will take to to sign up with my lovely GP! After that… well I think, like many here, you’re essential buggered as far as SRS goes as there isn’t the money in the system for more than one a year!
We’d love to host you but… 💋💋💋🌹 Polly
I see Polly! I’ve heard New Zealand is a great place, but I doubt I’d be eligible for such surgery in your country 😂😂. I’m barely eligible in the US. Our country would prefer that people not have medical care at all!!!
By the way, I like your name Polly. I don’t know why, but it seems to fit New Zealand!!!
Your new BFF
💕 Nicole
Hi Vanessa myself going to go full transition been on HRT now for month now this time next year planning on doing the bottom surgery bye bye boys. My top coming along nicely may let them do the natural thing.
Wishing a great Journey
hugs
Donna
We are all unique and what is right for one is not right for all.
Dont follow the herd, make you own path and decisions based on your needs alone.
I was full time for a year in the 1980’s and was on the route for transitioning (3 yrs RLT in those days !), but put things on hold due to starting a new relationship. 35 yrs later I a still on hold in the same relationship but having had the most amazing life in between. My partner knew all about my Fem side from before we got together and has always been an amazing support. I get to dress often and we get to go off to various events and days out. Its a compromise but seems to suit us at the moment.
So just be yourself and choose your own needs. There are aways alternatives.
hugs
Dawn
Hi Vanessa,
I know that I feel better as a woman. Vanessa, I can only answer for me, but even if I was your age I would not transition.
Recently, I came to the realization that I’m transgender, even though I am not seeking hormones and most definitely no surgical procedures.
All the best to you Vanessa,
Lee Ann
I have had anxieties as well, but I’m committed now to the full sex change. I’ve been in counseling for over 2 years now, and have tools to help prevent the purging and cycling.
When I feel a cycle coming I don’t purge feminine clothes. Instead I put them in the back of my closet where they are a little harder to get to. During a cycle I wear gender neutral clothes jeans and simple shirts. Every day before I go to bed I say a soft prayer to myself, “It is natural for Nicole to take over my life. It is time for Gary to leave my life!” Invariably I will want to go back to wearing Nicole’s clothes.
As time has progressed I find less and less cycles and short cycles. My therapist wants me to be cycle free for at least two months before the surgery.
**Edited by Admin**
I was very upset this morning because I touched the wrong place which sets me back.
This whole process has been very hard for me.
💕 Nicole
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