- This topic has 349 replies, 186 voices, and was last updated 6 months ago by
.
- Posts
What an interesting question! As a faithful husband of 57 years, I would have to answer “no”; but Bettylou is sorely tempted by the thought of doing so, just once, to learn how it is when the heel is on the other foot. But no hanky-panky.
Hugs,
BettylouDoing it now dating a man going on little over month now. Feels so natural he knows of lifestyle and support me for my choice.
Donna
Rich with no family and a bad ticker? yup hahaha kidding… sorta.
The right one, I would date. But they would have to understand, I have 2 lives and be ok with that.
This is something that has been on my mind of late. In my male persona I would say no, I’ve never had the desire. As I get more and more into my feminine nature I am not so sure. I would say being a faithful husband would hold me back, however, if I wasn’t married and approached by the right man while I was in Fem, I honestly don’t know if I could say no.
Hugs, Liara
Liara, you expressed my thoughts nicely. Thank you. Being attractive enough as a woman that it would motivate a man to ask me out is in itself a very intriguing and exciting thought. I like it.
But as you say, being married and faithful, limits what I am willing to consent to in my femme expression.
Charlene
Omg noooooo….
Sorry, but I would not date a man whatever I was wearing…..I find them repulsive….just my opinion!!
Lesbian grace xx
Ouch! If I didn’t know I was really a girl, I would be hurt by that comment, Grace. But I have to admit I’m much more personable and better-looking as a girl than I was as a guy.
Hugs,
BettylouOh Bettylou…I would not hurt anyone…. especially you!!!…..but that person who looks at me in the shaving mirror each morning…..
no thanks xx
Have to answer yes I would. Oh my I already have.Getting to be a woman with a man while dressed is such a rush it’s just feels so good and right. Oh yes they enjoyed it too.
Although I have always been attracted to only women and their femininity. I have to admit that I was smitten the first couple of times that I caught a guy checking me out. at first it made me uncomfortable but when I realized that he was looking at me as a woman. Just watching me walk and shopping. It’s a bit intoxicating. Although I got a tremendous lift from it. I am married and wouldn’t do anything with anyone else.
I agree with Bettylou. As a faithful husband who does not want to hurt my wife with expressions of my feminine self I would have to say, “no.”
However being attractive enough as a woman that a man would be motivated enough to ask me out because he wanted to spend time with me is a powerful thought, full of intrigue and excitement.
I like the possibility and probably would say yes if my circumstances were different. But like Bettylou; no hanky-panky. I am not woman enough for that.
Yes, BUT he’d have to be:
a) Aware that I was a bloke
b) Understand that I’m straight
c) Accept strictly no physical contact
d) Bring his white stick and his guide dogBeing single, never married in my male persona I would say No.
As a female, well I may hesitate, however …
Sure if he is filthy rich and can & would pay for ALL my transformational surgeries from male to female.Yes, BUT he’d have to be:
a) Aware that I was a guy
b) Understand that I’m straight
c) Accept strictly no physical contactHi Debbbi I do read there is a lot of CDs have fantasies of being with a man when dressed. Like many CDs I discovered I enjoyed expressing my self in the fem very young before puberty age maybe 7 or 8 then puberty hit like most young girls and boys my sex hormones just went wild. It is a time of discovery and experimentation. We all have been there. We discover who and what draws our attention and we begin to gravitate to what draws our attention. I can only speak of me because I consider my self a expert when it comes to me. I was drawn to the female form. I loved everything about being female. I love them so much I wanted to feel what is was like to be a girl. So it begins a life long desire to be something you are not. A lot here know that story. What maybe a little difference than most I started go out very young presenting as a young woman. It was a little easier when your 120 lbs 5’8 and had long curly hair. A very good friend and a little older than me introduced me to a couple of gay night clubs. There I learned I was not attracted to men at all. I did not like how they smelled or looked there is nothing about a man i found or still find attractive. I did like men being attracted to me. There is a sense of power that i did not have in my young life. Men made me feel pretty and desirable. Now i know I do not need a man to make me feel that way. I feel that same way when I getting a compliment from other woman. Coming from a GG is the ultimate compliment not to diminish the feeling coming from another CD. We are our own best critics. We are confirming the feminine part of us that has been kept hidden. Its like a feel good nerve getting exposed to the out side air. If you are attracted to men dressed or not then you are simply attracted to men. I believe more than half the world population is attracted to the male form so you are not in the wrong. YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN TO CONFIRM YOUR FEMININE IDENTITY . If you are married and you have a fantasy of being with a man when dressed then I suggest keeping it a fantasy and see if you confirm your inner identity in other ways. That can be a very dangerous and a game changing fantasy for married CDs. If you are attracted to men and single then have at it there are plenty of men “waiting to be used and abused by you” I love that song. Thank you for your post and thought provoking question. Luv Stephanie
Hi Stephanie! Your thoughtful response is full of truth, experience, and wisdom. Thanks for taking the time to express your insights to us. I do not need a man to make me feel femme. Like you I have known the feeling of wanting to be a girl from a very young age. I must say the variety of responses to this question have been more than I expected! They all represent the beauty of the CDH community. Each of us share a special desire to be femme without losing who we are as individuals. It’s a gift we all share. Hugs, Debbie Lynn
Stephanie, thank you for your thoughts. Very well spoken. I totally especially agree with your statement; YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN TO CONFIRM YOUR FEMININE IDENTITY.
A cis-woman doesn’t need a man to confirm her femaleness / femininity. She may enjoy a man’s company, companionship, and attention, but she knows intrinsically who she is. . . . unless like some of us she struggles with gender dysphoria.
As a non transitioning trans woman may I answer the question, “how do I know that I am a woman” this way. The same way a cis-woman knows she is a woman. She just does. As do I.
Charlene
Hi girl! YOU WERE WRONG TO STATE YOUR OPINION AS FACT I like women not men But as a transgender woman in transition I have had fantasies of being with a man But I am not attracted to men and never have been But if I found the right guy I would give it a try I wouldn’t be with a man, just something he has And not for intercourse! I would LOVE TO MEET A SWEET KIND GENTLE TRANS WOMAN THAT would be a chance I have hoped for A chance to develop a special relationship where we would spend our lives together Committed and faithful to each other! I love doing all the girlie things with my few GG girlfriends From shopping, to doing each other’s makeup Or just being together There is a special feeling I get to have women treat me like their girlfriend Again, doing ALL THE GIRLIE THINGS TOGETHER
Hi Debbie,
An interesting question that can lead to all sorts of self-examination and discovery.First, as others have said, I’m married for 44 years and have always been faithful. So a real date is out.
But, tbey say a healthy fantasy life is good for you … so.. do I fantasize about being with a man? Oh absolutely.
Hugs, Jillian
I think it would be disingenuous of me to reject the idea offhand so, under the right circumstances . . . maybe. I don’t know what those exact circumstances are but anything is possible. I’ve yet to meet a man who “takes my breath away” but there have ben a few (very few) i would admit are handsome/attractive. Mostly my thoughts on men are, “I don’t know what she sees in him. “
-
Realizing at puberty that I was bi I say yes, but like many females who realize they hold the real power, I’m picky. Any man I date has to be handsome, nice personality, treats me like a lady and not a one night stand, has to be clean and in good physical shape… everywhere. Of course hes an admirer of CD’s and knows I’m a CD. Its such a thrill being pursued by such a man but they are so few and far between. Being an old Cougar doesn’t help.
Besides that I’m currently happy married = no dating interest at all I am (dressed or not) not interested in men so go on a date with a man is not interesting.
Now one may wonder what if I’m single and it’s a transwomen, then it’s more down the lines of any women. I think it depends on personality and so on more than what gender one was born as (and given that I’m to old to have any more kids that part doesn’t matter)./kt
Absolutely, dated a few men along the road and I love being treated like the woman on the date and after.
Absolutely not. Only ever been into ladies
Hi Debbie
Never
Love Sarah
xx
Oh forgot to say the man dating now he is clean shaven so smooth. Plus know treats me with respect and kindness. Feel like I am his queen and he is my strong handsome king.
Donna
Love this topic Debbie since I’m probably one of the few CDH’ers who happens to have a boyfriend and this is my opinion of course but let me tell you it’s *heaven*. For those who don’t know my story, I considered myself “straight” in my teens but I started becoming really interested in guys right around the start of my 20s and my femininity had a lot to do with it. Wearing gorgeous lingerie to bed every night definitely aided in making the feminine thoughts about guys kick in, but I started having intense thoughts about wanting to be with a guy and have a boyfriend during the day when not dressed as well which is when I knew what I wanted. There was a guy in my circle of friends who I thought was *really* good looking during my high school years. Eventually we became best friends and then upon finding out each other was bi, the romantic attraction was immediate. I told him I dressed and he was anxious to meet Jess especially when I eventually told him that I was a lingerie girl. We’re still together and it’s been blissful ever since! Our relationship is amazing, especially romance and intimacy. For any of you ladies who have wanted to scratch the guy itch, take my advice and go scratch it if you can find the right guy. Sure there are some bad ones out there, but some great guys are out there also.
And if anyone wants more details about my relationship with my boyfriend do not hesitate to message me, trust me you’ll be convinced that you want a boyfriend after getting feedback from me.
Hi Jess! Great post girl My story is much like your’s I live in thick pink fog every day and I’ve been wanting to find a cute gentle man or trans guy to love and share my life with! I feel so feminine all the time that all
I think of lately is a kind man to be a woman for! Please PM details and I’ll share my two times with a cute guy 30 years ago I should have married him!Hi Lucia! I would love to hear about your experiences! I think I’m ready to date a man…just wanting to learn more from ladies like yourself. Hugs, Debbie Lynn
- If I were single, I’d love to date someone who gave me the same effort, attention, silly pick up lines, flirting, willingness to try adventure, and adoration I try my hardest to give my wife. I wouldn’t stop giving such things myself to whoever I was dating. Now that I’m more atune to the world I would be open to it.
This is just me. Not speaking for anyone else.
My wife and I have a very unique relationship, as we’ve sat and talked, we have both realized that she has always been the masculine one. I’ve always been the feminine one. Oh sure, there were moments when one of us was called to appear to fill our society’s expectations. But we usually tag teamed those as well.
I’m in love with her, but in many ways she is also my “him” when we are out, she will totally treat me as the lady, opening doors, ordering for me at restaurants, all of it.
she exhibits what I find to be the ideal male traits without the negatives.
for men themselves, I am not a fan. I mean I don’t like the “typical” male behavior. And I have issues with them due to a sexual assault. While I believe that I would not date a man enfemme due to being married, I believe if I weren’t married, that the after effects of the assault would be a barrier and I wouldn’t be interested, at least at first.
Although… all that said, if she woke up tomorrow morning as a male, I would stay, because I’m attracted to the person inside.
so I guess I’m going to have to settle for at the moment I’m taken and my wife fills the masculine role in our home just fine. If I were to find myself alone, It’s unlikely but not impossible.
So speaking as someone who is single. I have thought about it and while I am not against it, I don’t think I have ever met any guy who has made me think that, “yeah, I could be fine dating him”. Well, maybe one, but they are ultimately completely off limits as they already have a partner.
Just one of those things where it is like in theory I would be totally cool with dating a guy if he agreed to some basic ground rules, but in reality I’ve never felt the pull, so probably not.
I have had 2 experiences with men in the last 6 years they did not want to go out and be seen with me they turned out to be totall pigs, all they wanted was sex. They seem to feel they can do what they want because of who and what we are. So no not a chance I’d rather be alone than set myself up for that kind of abuse again. I am in a good place having fun
Cheers
Kate
Yikes, sorry to hear you had rotten experiences with guys Kate but they’re definitely not all like that. I can definitely understand you being turned off though.
Hi again Jess, I enjoyed reading your post and would like to chat with you about the details I wouldn’t ask normally but you offered sweetheart Peace and 😘, Lucia
When in male mode the thought of being with another man doesn’t enter my thoughts but when Gail and the pink fog take over I find myself entertaining thoughts I wouldn’t have considered before. I doubt it will ever occur but with the right man and at the right time I would consider it. Like all girls how far it went would depend much upon him and the night.
Gail
Debbie, In years past I dated a few times and thoroughly enjoyed it. Being treated like a lady by my date was so very affirming in a most feminine way.
I haven’t dressed for a long time as the ravages of time and some physical issue make it no longer pleasing to me. I do have very fond memories of those very feminine experiences and dating was the best of them all for. E.
GenivieveNo, I would not. I consider myself heterosexual.
However, reading through the comments, I believe only one poster mentioned a situation similar to mine, over the years. I did not marry until I was almost 30. Prior to that, I was attracted to and dated women who had male traits to their personalities but who were attracted exclusively to males. In other words, they were heterosexual women.
Prior to marrying my wife, I was fortunate to have dated some wonderful professional women. They just did not enjoy wearing dresses, cosmetics, high heels, and perfume, whereas I did. In this type of relationship, I was the girlfriend, and she was the boyfriend, unless we had to fulfill some traditional commitment where we were expected to appear with our genders and sexes matching.
There is tremendous satisfaction in being treated as a girlfriend by a strong dominate woman, and it is a relief to have the woman take the lead in things. One partner I had would suggest we go back to her apartment after dinner and the show. She would sit me down on the sofa and rub my shoulders, then turn me around next to her, pull off my heels and give me a foot rub. Honey, that’s what it feels like to be a princess, and after that she could do whatever she wanted.
Since I am heterosexual, I would not.
I am attracted to femininity. The sex of the other person is irrelevant. So whether the other person is male or female is not an issue, only whether they are or are not a woman.
As for coitus, that is not going to happen anyway in the usual sense, so that is not an issue either.
There are apparently a number of feminine males who would like to present, behave and be treated as a woman but who do not have the opportunity to have these experiences without the ‘expectations’ of some rather unsavoury persons. I am not particularly ‘savoury’ as such, but my own experiences and knowledge allows me to understand their desires and I would be honoured to accommodate them. Take her out to dinner or dancing or some theatrical event; that sort of thing. Just have a good time together.
So, in that sense, I would be eager to escort an attractive, presentable, relatively sane and feminine lady. Again, the sex would not matter nor should it.
On the other hand.
If I were to be the woman and a male wanted to go out with me, since I am stealth, it would have to be relatively ‘confidential’. I do not know whether I would ‘pass’ (not sure if I really care), but I would try. As for coitus, well, I suspect I could be seduced probably without too much effort. Again, gender, rather than sex, would be the issue. He would have to be relatively masculine, considerate and well-behaved. However, I cannot think of why any such male would be attracted to me, so I have no real expectations. It would be flattering, though, and a desirable experience.
Araminta.
I have been single my whole life and have always been attracted to men. I have been in a few good relationships over the years, but haven’t been very lucky in love. I am so envious of many of you that seem to have very wonderful partners. When I was younger I was just as interested in sex as the men I dated. As I got older I still am interested in sex, but I don’t want that to be the only reason that I go on a date. I have always been up front about being transgender when I meet someone. It really does seem like most men seem to think that makes me an easy one-nighter. Honestly it really feels good to say no.
Recently I met a really nice man. We have been dating for about a month and it has been a dream! He treats me so wonderful, just like the lady I know I am. We have not had sex (mostly his choice). The other night we were watching “Bachelor in Paradise “ he knows I love watching it, even though he doesn’t he sits and lets me curl up to him and acts like he’s enjoying the show. I really thought maybe that we would……but no. He has really helped me have such a better view of men. Sounds weird huh. I’m hoping my luck has changed.This is a funny one, because I have always considered myself straight. Don’t even look at men in that way by accident. But dressing is about femininity and in that sense what is the ultimate expression of femininity of not attracting the eyes of a male. It’s a question I was thinking of asking the group, because day to day Id never think of it, but Allison would probably entertain a kiss…
My first kiss was all it took. I was hooked right then and there. Damn, why did he have to be so good and cute on top of it.
The best word I can use in my case is magic.
YES!!!!!!!!!
I have in the past and I would again without hesitation. I just love being with men. Love it. Been a bit of a dry spell lately, however. 🙁
Jenny, I just them too. What most attracts you? For me it’s their swagger around a submissive girl like me.
I would, with a lot of caveats. The primary one being that I’m in a long term committed marriage so that makes this very hypothetical. I’m attracted to femininity (gynosexual), so another trans woman would have a better chance than a cis male. I also have my own criteria for non-feminine men and that would further lower my chances of finding the right person. I used to think my attraction to some men was purely physical but recently I found myself attracted to a YouTube science presenter based almost solely on his eyes and the mind behind them so… I guess anything is possible.
— Abbie 🥰
That would be so delicious I think. To have a big strong arm to hang onto and let everyone know he’s mine. TeeHee. And who wouldn’t want a sweet kiss goodnight. 😉
hugs girls
Rosiebeth.makes you toes curl.
My first one was absolutely magic.
Mine too 2nd one that still dating now more magic. More like when together like fireworks. And a dream of heaven.
Hi Debbie,
Hypothetically, I think that it would be enjoyable with a James Bond character of the type portrayed by Sean Connery. Maybe meet him at the roulette tables and go from there.
In other words, yes… I would like to have the experience of being a Bond Girl. 🙂
James would have to go home without though as I am not attracted sexually to men.
However, one can dream.
Aurora Eden
(Octavia Ivanov)Hi Aurora! Such a wonderful idea to be a Bond Girl! Sexy, flirtatious, intelligent, maybe a bit sinister! And to walk into a swank casino on the arm of 007 !! Let’s see what would I wear to catch his attention….hmmmmmm
Hi Debbie,
Your reply is number 002, so we are getting there. 🙂
I would want to be one of the opposition, as those in the intelligence game say… at least those in the movies do.
Black dress with plunging neckline a must. Red high-heeled shoes. Necklace and jewels not only worth thousands of dollars in their own rights, but also double as surveillance tools.
The idea that intrigues me then, is like that… A worldy-wise debonair man, such as James Bond… a romantic encounter but we both know to beware.
Got to win big at chemin-de-fer as well.
I think what I am saying is that yes, if the date comprised of all the romantic trappings… dinner at a swanky restaurant included.
Aurora Eden
Oh my Aurora you would look ravishingly wicked. Love the opposition concept…gender, geopolitical sides, view of the world! So charming!
For me it would be a white chiffon dress just above the knees with gold lace trim. Tight bodice to accent my 40 D’s and flair at the waist to a slight petticoat. I want all eyes on me….long tanned legs accented by cream white stilletoes and a gold ankle bracelet that was an electronic monitor recording conversations…..hmmmm. Oh James, can we try Baccarat tonite Darling?
I have dated men/males exclusively since I was 15. The only time I did anything even remotely romantic with a girl was in 6th grade. She was a good friend of mine from class and didn’t know a thing about Paula, and she talked me into letting her practice kissing with me, so I did. I think it may have lasted all of 10 minutes or so. She is the only one in my life, except my mom and sis with the familial kisses as I grew up.
The first time I was romantically kissed by a man let me know in my mind what I had been trying to figure out for a long time, that I was attracted to males. It left no question in my mind that it was right for me, and I had found my first ever true direction as a young adult and knew which way things would be for me after that day.
Now, to listen to a lot of feminists, ALL men are lousy, potential rapists, and more than willing to physically and mentally abuse those weaker then them. Although I have met and dated my share of drut men, by far and away, the vast majority of men I have dated have been just the polar opposite of current thinking.
I cannot explain why, and I will not attempt to, I like men. I am myself not a small person, and my line of work can be very physical. But once I am in the presence, not to mention the arms, of my men friends, I am putty. I adore their strength and chivalry (no it’s not dead). Their willingness to take the lead on a date, and how they treat me as the woman they want to be with, not just some sexual conquest (though I have been that too, and I’m not saying how many).
Those of us who have been intimate with a man and enjoyed themselves, know exactly what I am talking about. Many are curious and will admit it, other’s won’t, but that is okay too. And no one should never be forced into any type of encounter they are not 100% comfortable with.
We are all different, but so much alike also.
“If you don’t give up, and you don’t give in, you may just be okay!”
PaulaF
I so agree with you Paula! I have only dated men, I’ve never been with a woman. I have had my share of lousy men, but when you’re with the right man it is wonderful.😍
Jeannie💋
Great comments Paula!
Same here, I’ve been attracted to other boys and then men my whole life, starting around age 10 probably. And that first time with a man was utterly life changing. It just felt perfect. And then the first time with a man while dressed as Jenny was pure heaven.
I can honestly say I have never had a bad experience with a guy. Never.
Sure, some were and are better than others 😉 But for all the male bashing GGs and some Gurls like to do — I couldn’t disagree more. One thing I appreciate about CDH is the number of girls like you who share their experiences. 🙂
Paula:
Your quote, “Don’t give up, don’t give I, you just may be alright (paraphrasing here. Darn short term memory), made me want to cry there for a second. That is so beautiful. Being of an age and a generation where people like us were frowned upon and told we are deviant sinners has left me with all the baggage that can come from that. It’s always nice hearing that it is ok to be and that it will all be OK in the end. So thank you very much for your beautiful words and the sentiment that they convey.
Let me start like many, by saying I’m happily married to my beautiful wife and have been for 27 years. Also, whether out en femme or in drab, I never find myself looking at a man and thinking, “hmm, he’s cute”. Now on the other hand, a good looking woman (and that would include a lot of you girls 😉) will give my whiplash.
For a while now, though, that’s been a part of the confusion I feel. When inundated with the pink fog, I constantly fantasize about a certain part of the anatomy shared by men and transgender women and myself, too. And in some of my fantasies, do involve when it’s attached to a man.
But when does reality ever exceed the splendor of fantasy?
That being said (if I weren’t married, and I don’t see me not being married any time in the foreseeable future), I would be open to it. I can definitely see Raquel walking through a park holding hands with a handsome 20-something stud or studette, or sharing a romantic dinner, or even being intimate.
Oh, and I respect and appreciate everyone else’s views responses.
Much love,
Raquel
In recent years, I have relaxed and do occasionally look at a man and think, “Wow, he’s cute.” A few of them I even think about days or weeks later. Going to the gym has become a lot more interesting. It’s fun to be able to look with some desire at people of all genders.
Good for you, Stephanie. We are all different and that’s what makes us wonderful and special. I hope one of those gym boys sweeps you off your feet.
For me, whether en femme or in drab, except for in my fantasies, I’m just not attracted to men. Why in fantasy, but not in real life? I can’t explain.
I think I would. Not something regular or long term, but every now and then it would be nice to have my femininity recognized by a gentleman. Provided he was polite and handsome, and treated me with respect. And depending on how the date goes I would even feel so inclined to ‘go all the way’ should the moment feel right.
I am just guessing here; a sort of vague intuition. I suspect that some ladies here are not exactly cross-dressers as such but are, in fact, women. Not female but fully, continuously and evidently feminine in most if not all ways.
That is why I am not really fond of the term, “cross-dresser”, it doesn’t really fit the permutations. To me it’s just “dressing”. Some females do it, not all; some females do it all of the time, not all; some males do it, not all and some males do it all of the time. ‘Dress’ and other feminine behaviours.
To me that’s a woman.
I also get the sense that, although there are brown bananas in every bunch, the ‘nice’ sex partners are ‘nice’ because they are attracted to women even if they do happen to be male. They may prefer male women due to their femininity plus other desirable features. That takes understanding and perception.
I cannot help but suspect that this indicates a level of sanity not always evident. Perhaps it is only the less mature that we hear of but men who like cross-dressers may be, in general, a special (in a nice way) segment of our culture.
Araminta.
I would as well. There would be, however, several caveats related to dating not being an open invitation to sex, etc. In addition, I would insist on full disclosure so as to avoid a “Crying Game” moment where it was assumed that he knew but clearly did not. The more opportunities I have to step out as Mary Priscilla whether with other sisters or a gentleman, the more I am reinforcing my commitment to enjoying my felinity.
Thanks for asking.
I live full time as Danielle and although I would prefer to date a woman, I have met few interested in someone like me. So, I will and do date men. I enjoy being the center of attention (and, I’m not gonna lie, desire) but have a vetting process that quickly weeds out most jerks. And a lot of men interested in someone like me are jerks. If they want what I have to offer, they got to put in the work and prove they are worth it.
I long to date a man as Alicia. It would be bliss to do things straight couples do everyday from shopping, going for hikes, dinner and a movie, making dinner for my man and intimate times. With my current closeted life, not likely to happen but a girl can dream.
-
When I read the title of the forum I interpreted it as, would I date – a man en femme (he was also a cross-dresser), as I began reading the replies I immediately realized the obvious connotation, would I date a man – en femme (he was just a guy and I was the only one cross-dressed). LOL
I currently identify as gender fluid and so far my feminine side hasn’t felt the desire to be courted by a man. I am not looking for a “knight in shining armor” to swoon over. Or a man who will be my emotional/physical fortress to protect me. In fact, tall, muscular or manly men, in general, don’t physically appeal to me, and neither do common attributes of the male personality.
Now, when I was considering my initial interpretation of the title, I came to the conclusion that I probably would be open minded to the prospect of dating another cross-dresser. While my interest lies in women, the femme personality attributes of a cross-dresser may be fairly similar to that of a GG. Also, I’m sure we’ll have a lot of common life experiences and feelings to connect with on an emotional level.
So for your intended question I’ll say no, and for my silly interpretation of your question, I’ll say yes.
Nyomi
I also read the title at first as whether I would date a man who was dressed en femme, then read the thread and saw that the intention was that we would be en femme and date a man. Right now, I have a steady boyfriend who knows about my crossdressing but has not yet wanted to experience me that way. If my partner and I should ever break up, the basic ground rule for my next partner definitely will be that while we are home I will be en femme. Hopefully he will be as well.
Hi,
For me first, off I am married to a wonderful woman that I love and fully supports me being my true self. So I am not really going to be dating anyone. My wife would not like that.
Taking that out of the conversation, I have found that generally speaking I do not like men at all. A lot of men that I have met have been pretty immature or the typical “alpha male” and that just turns me off. Even when I have found men that weren’t like that, and I have met many that would be a good “catch”, I have not been attracted to at all. I find generally speaking that I am most attracted to women. Even when I am dressed as a woman, if I see a woman that has caught my attention I will look at her and sometimes will go up and introduce myself.
Been dating this one guy going on over 2 months now. Seems like a real winner in my book treats me like a lady. Respects my desires and emotions always doing little things to make me happy. Maybe the one to be married to in the near future. Been with me through my past facial surgery had done few weeks ago.
A great guy. Also great lover too.
Donna
big definitly so far. Hard to find someone that truly thoughtful and all. And respect myself. Hope anyone that goes down the path truly find the one they wanting. Specially the ones that are single.
Donna
He would be a very lucky guy to find a wonderful woman like you.
Debbie –
I’m sure it’s a question we have all pondered. For me, I am really attracted to the feminine side of things, I am quite comfortable as a male when I am in that mode and feel no romantic attraction to the masculine. Crossdressing for me is the ultimate expression of my feminine side. Stripping away (so to speak!) all the trappings of male mode and engaging in the ritual of feminization lets the inner girl out front and center. As such I would only be interested in dating a man if had a very strong feminine side, best expressed while dressed as a woman. Kinda confusing but there it is.
Hi Debbie:
I will forever remain faithful to my amazing SO.
But if life chose otherwise, I would send each suitor on a quest to bring me back a goblet filled with gold. If he looked at me in confused silence, I’d say, “NEXT!”
However, if he looked at me with a smile and asked, “Will that be the red or white goblet?”, I would wrap myself around him right then and there!
xo Barb
If I were single (which I’m not and now don’t ever expect to be – except for a passing of my SO, God forbid it should happen!)
And if I had completed the appropriate SOC and transitioned
And if there was someone who was actually interested in me
Well, I most definitely would jump at the chance.
Just way too many ifs with where I am. As I’ve stated a number of times here, I am totally heterosexual in all senses of the word. And, yes, I can understand some wondering about that, but it’s who I am, not what others see of me.
I would without hesitation, my wife and I have a mutual boyfriend (poly relationship for those who didn’t know already). But then, I am Bi, and would have had no issue dating a man even before I came to terms with my femininity.
He doesn’t mind me dressing, in fact is excited about it, but I respect my wife’s boundary of not dressing outside our home, and the subject has never come up with him due to that. But given his response to me even talking about dressing in general at times, I seriously doubt that would be an issue with him either!
Jade would 100% date a man! Jade is interested in other gurls but has a desire to be with a man. Jade loves to flirt and get compliments but very much wants to feel what its like to be with a man.
When dressed its what Jade tends to think about the most.
Meet up with a great man and has respect for you no matter dressed or not. Will make your toes curl. Also when he treats like a woman would be treated.
Donna
yes I have like said before been with a great guy over 2 months now and everything about him is like a fairy tale. Like a puppy dog always wanting to be by my side.
I was asked this a year or two back and I was pretty sure I would not have at that time. Although I consider myself a lesbian, in the last year I have found myself thinking about this question. I have decided that yes I would like to date a gentleman and would be very comfortable with it. I live most of the time as Coral and only revert to male mode when need be. I think when you have been living as a woman it might come into question now and then. I don’t know why I started to think about it, but it seems like the more time I live as Coral the more I feel my male self vanishing slowly into the sunset. If anyone else knows what I’m saying, please explain it to me. Love Coral
Know what you mean Coral. Myself pretty much all my male features are almost gone. Since being on HRT and just had my face done few weeks ago. And my vocal is fem. All that left is the bottom plumbing and that will be changed next month.
Donna
Ahhh, Carol. Many of us know what you’re saying. It’s the explanation that is hard. I think your answer can only come from within.
It’s that “journey” that everyone keeps referring to. No two people follow the exact same path. We may see many of the same sites along the way, but we all arrive by a different route. That is, if we ever really “arrive”. You see, this journey has no end but the ultimate one.
I try to just enjoy the ride.
Learning to ignore the trolls under the bridges who want to disrupt your journey will lead to a more pleasant trip.
Only in a Fantasy………..I would be a lot younger………very very passable, he would know I am a CD. What happens in the fantasy cannot be shared here…………………..karley
congrats flower so happy for you and your SO.
Hugs
Donna
I have been out with a man twice. Both times were great. I will do it again.
While I’m married 2my wife I wouldn’t consider any relationship with anybody. If I was living on my own? Well who knows? The question I ask myself would anybody male, female, trans, bisexual etc want me? Having said that even if I was crossdressed I would never get rid of my male parts.
Think I’d be a male lesbian if that’s not a contradiction in termsLiz
It’s kind of a confusing topic for me. When I am dressed, I kind of crave attention from men. I would definitely go on a date with a man when I am Chloe. When I am my boring male self, I have no interest in men whatsoever. What an odd dichotomy to possess!
The question for myself would be would I date a girl out of fem? For me males are my attraction. I’ve always been attracted to the same sex. It’s really difficult to ask myself if I’m more attracted to them when I’m dressed to kill? Yes but I choose men only.
Debbie, my oh my, has your question got my gears squeaking and grinding…🙄
For most of my CD life, I just enjoyed dressing and yes, the sexual excitement that went with that. During those first thirty years I, Jules, never had the realization of “her self”. All that time I thought my CD was just a “thing” and a “sin”…
As I’ve aged I’ve become more spiritual and a seeker of truth. As I turned that spotlight on my CD I’ve learned that my female side, me, Jules is a real spiritual and emotional separate “being”. I now believe I have two essences sharing this male body; one, Jules was born in the wrong body (by choice, my vanished twin sister), and of course my male self is in the right body. This realization has come after years of meditation, reflection, study, counseling, and Shaman work.
Along with this realization is that I, Jules has the all same desires and needs of a real women, because I, Jules, am 100% woman.
So for the last few years I’ve actually felt sad knowing I’ll never experience all those things most real women experience; kissing a man, lovemaking, wearing a beautiful wedding dress and getting married, getting pregnant, nursing a baby, etc… You might ask, why don’t you transition if you feel that strongly? Well, my male side, a husband, brother, father, and grandfather loves all of his life as well.
Since I’m happily married to a wonderful supportive women it seemed to me that I’d only ever experience any of my female desires in fantasy. And my fantasy was awesome, as I’d pretend, make up stories, and act them out that a man would love me, take me out, bed me, and do all the things a man does with a woman. That was satisfying…,to a point.
Then, THEN it happened, sort of…
While in Hawaii I met a man, a real man on line. Being a very inexperienced girl, and never having done that, I sort of fell into it innocently without knowing what I was doing. His sweet complements went straight to my heart. And when he said he desired me, well, I melted from the inside out, completely. I was putty, his putty, putty he could mold with his kind flattering words. And then he send pictures! OMG! He made me feel female desires I did not even know I was capable of, ones I didn’t know existed. He made me feel like a silly young girl, alive, lost in thrilling emotions and lust. He made me love him, long to be with him, to please him, to be held by him, kissed by him, sleep with my head on his chest, and to have him make love with me – all night long…This was so heady, so unexpected, so overwhelming – I felt like a giddy school girl – and the hot Hawaiian sun only made it all the more steamy and real.
However, it was all so wrong because we are both married…
There probably was never going to be a physical meeting or physical loving. We both discussed and understood that. And that rationale told us it was ok, but… And I rationalized it was ok because I could separate my female and male selves. Yet…
Yet, it was wrong. So I did the hardest thing I’ve done in years, I asked this sweet man to end it. I asked him to end it because I knew I was too weak to trust myself.
Yet, even now, two weeks later I long for him. I long for what can never be with tears in my eyes and streaming down my cheeks…
So, YES! Yes, I’d love to date a man, be with a man, love a man, and be loved by a man, a good man, a man just like the one I met.
But, sadly, rightly, wrongly, tearfully, and tragically I’ll have to wait till…, till when? Till someday, a next life to experience the joy, contentment, children, love, satisfaction, and emotions most generic women experience.
Humbly,
Jules
👩
PS speaking for both my female and male sides, I believe there are far more good caring wonderful men out there than not. Life is short, so be gorgeous!As others have noted, this question brings up many other questions. I’m married and totally monogamous, so, no chance. However, if not, then sure, yes please! I am bisexual, but alas, have never gotten to experience what it would be like to be with a man. I confess to frequently fantasizing about the subject, but my devotion to my wife means I must decline.
Catherine
This is such a complex question to answer for me. Essentially however, I think I’d be open to it. But until I figure myself out, I’ve held strong (as difficult as it is sometimes) and continue to turn everyone down. I feel like “dating” would introduce even more mental complexity to the existing madness. LOL. So, my answer… I don’t know.
This is a great question and one I’ve never been able to discuss with anyone until I found CDH. So it’s the first time that I can be honest about it. When I’m in guy mode I have no interest in men, but I am a girly girl and when I am enfemm I do find myself checking out the guys.
When I was away for a few days at the coast I was dressed every evening and one evening I decided to go to a gay club for a few drinks. During that time I gentleman bought me a drink which I accepted. He was very good looking and nice so we talked and danced and drank and I found myself being attracted to him. He complimented me on my looks and told told me what great legs I had as he slid his hand up my leg. I don’t know if it was the drinks or him or both but we ended up in my hotel room and eventually made love.
I have never forgot this evening or him. I think if I lived in the city we could have ended up in a relationship. Having said this one of my unfulfilled fantasies is doing this again only with a women but at this stage I’m afraid it will remain only a fantasy.
So I guess deep down inside I’m probably a bit bi but I lean more towards women than men.
Hope all you girls have an awesome Christmas, please stay safe.Love,
TrishI have dated men on several occasions, but only in my fem mode. When I am dressed my mind shifts totally into a womanly perspective. If a man is attracted to me, it enhances my self-image. I do not hide my secret if seems to be moving toward sex. Otherwise I just enjoy the attention of a man.
Thanks, Trish, for your openness. It is important as, in many such anecdotes, there is a question of veracity. Your simple, yet fulsome, account has a note of authenticity that seems supportive of one of my basic concepts.
It seems to me that males are usually very susceptible to seduction. Additionally, males who are feminine are susceptible to seduction by another male under the right conditions (i.e., “very good looking and nice”).
To those who resolutely assert that, “That they would never!”, I suspect that you too can be seduced.
It is also one reason why I feel that sexual orientations aren’t bisexual, unisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, etc. but just sexual and asexual and it is gender and not (on the surface) sex that provides the motivation for attraction.
Araminta.
Hi Araminta, I think you’re absolutely right. I wasn’t in the club looking to hook up with anyone really. Rather it was a place I felt safe going to have a few drinks. The whole thing was very spontaneous. One thing it did do though was confirm my femininity and honestly make me feel wanted and confirmed. It is not something I was ashamed of nor something I regretted. I believe, given the right circumstances, it could happen again either with a man or a woman.
I scrolled down and was surprised by all the yesses.
My interest would be to find a cross dresser who was attractive to me and get to know them as a friend who could really understand me. So just friends.
Just corresponding here on the forum has been eye-opening and exciting for me.
I know I am not a woman and dating a guy for me would be very insincere.
This question is so intriguing because it captures the fluidity of both gender and sexuality and also speaks to the ways in which the two can interact.
As someone who identifies as bi, I would date men and I have had some flings with men. That said, I’ve never developed an emotional connection to a man like I have with women. I have also never fully embraced my inner feminine self the way I have now. In fact, I feel like I have become more attracted to men over time, especially as I embraced my inner feminine self. I’m not sure if I will ever seek physical intimacy with women again, but I definitely want that with a man.
Now that I’m divorced, I have considered the prospect of actually dating a man and entering a relationship with one. Part of the appeal of presenting as a woman for me is to embrace the full scope of femininity, including the sexual role of a hetero woman. I would “categorize” myself as bi-curious when presenting as a man, and fully heterosexual when presenting as a woman (or fully attracted to men).
As many here have intimated, this stuff is all so messy, complicated, and evolving. Whenever I try to sort through it, I usually end up with more questions about who I am than answers. I do know that being with a man while presenting as Deana, and knowing that person is attracted to me as I am, is a huge source of excitement, eroticism, and physical attraction.
Hi Deanna, I think the thing I remember most and what really excited me was the man I was with was sexually aroused even before our foreplay even began. I had never been made to feel that feminine before or since. It really was wonderful. I feel that you just go with your heart and things will sort themselves out. Good luck
Trish
Hello and Happy New Ladies
For a very Brief time nine years ago I was intimate with
a man as Natalie. Seperated and going through an awful divorce.
living alone for the first time in years I was exploring many of my
life long crossdressing desires and fantasies. I met a guy online, he was
divorced and clearly a CD admirer, especially a CD in Lingerie.
I met him in public in drab 4 times before we actually met privately.
There were some enjoyable moments but after the third or fouth meeting
to no fault of his I ended the relationship. Overall it was not for me.
I was never comfortable during the act of intimacy. As often in life reality did not live up
to the fantasy. I don’t regret it, but don’t beleive it’ll happen again mainly because
I’m remarried and would’nt do that to my wife.Hugs.
NatalieI am not in a relationship but I have dated men as Alanna and I found it to be amazing.
It was not something I was looking for but it just happened.
This fellow checked me out at a store and was waiting for me when I left. I don’t want to surprise or fool anyone so I told him what I was all about. We exchanged numbers and met later in the evening.
Another time I came out of a grocery store and trying to rearrange my grocery bags when a fellow drove up and asked if I needed a hand. Again told him what I was all about and we met later in the week.
I find many men are more open to this type of relationship because they are also exploring their own sexuality.
Alanna
Yes I have and loved it, Its very different but also as beautiful as the heterosexual relationship but then I m very confident as Ashleigh and was very much the guiding hand of it.
I’m married and respect my wife, but as I have accepted myself through years of productive therapy I realize sexuality and gender are on a spectrum. If its a 1-5 scale for both. I’m more feminine and more attracted to men than I ever realized. Likely a 4 for both.
When I was younger and repressed all of this and acted macho. Then it was oh Im only curious about men when dressed. Now I think my truth is I would definitely date a man, be intimate and even fall for a guy, but prior to realizing this I made commitments to my wife and kids that are too important to me.
Cheers
Jules
Hi Debbie Lynn.
As many of our sisters here have said, yes, I would. However, that’s if I was a single woman, which I’m not. I would love to be on the other side of the fence, getting ready to go out with that special man. Getting ready, picking out the most feminine and pretty lingerie to wear under my new dress. Doing my makeup carefully, so as to look my best for my man. Then choosing just the right jewelry, doing my nails in a pretty color to complement my outfit, selecting my favorite high heels, selecting just the right cut, color and style of wig to wear to enhance my feminine features, and then finally, spraying on just a spritz of his favorite perfume that he likes me to wear. Then waiting with the anticipation of a teenage girl until he arrives to pick me up and go out on our date.
Yes, that is the fantasy, isn’t it???
But at this point, sadly, that is all that it will remain, so while the answer to your question remains a resounding “Yes!” it is only in my mind and in my fantasies.
Hugs,
Holly
Holly,
Your post paints a pretty picture of how I feel when I’m transforming into Raquel.
Of course, I’d feel the same way if my wife knew about and was into it, and I was getting ready for a date with her, too.
No no no no no. Chloe Grace is only into women. Though she has found a few Trans girls on insta that she’s found attractive.
I’ll take that as a no🤣
I would not date a man unless I was totally female and had the correct sexual organs for it. I have often fantasized what that would be like. My life as a man is over. Before I die I would like to live as a woman. Is that so horrible?
KerriNo.
I’m not tempted. I’m not curious.
“How would you know if you don’t try it?” – the same way I know I would not like to jump from an airplane or eat steak tartare.
I have been asked out twice. Twice I said no. To each, her own.
Hi Debbi,
The thought never crossed my mind. I dress not to impress but for myself. Dressing is an escape from the daily grind and a way to relax. I’m very happy as a heterosexual male with a beautiful wife who walks by my side as my equal, soulmate and best friend. Also, I wouldn’t seek a relationship with another woman. You’ll know when you have that perfect person and there is no need to look any further!!!
Best of luck to all on your journey,
Elise
For me, I would not date a man when femme, at those times I think of myself more as a lipstick lesbian, as I certainly would to go out on a date with a woman en femme.
Amy
Yes and have many times. I find the admirers of us are basically straight and will treat you as a woman. It is a wonderful experience being out as a couple and I feel as a total woman.
Hi Deborah
I agree the men interested in us come off as basically straight. I have never known any obviously gay man to show any interest in me at all and I was around a lot of gay men while dressed as sexy as I could possibly be dressed. I have known CD’s and TS’s who were interested in gay men but the interest was never returned.
I would classify men into us as bi as I would most of the CD’s I was with. I would say that men into us are much more likely to be into fetish and BDSM than other men are. Just as with any men some of them can be wonderful guys and others can be dangerous creeps. I found that the majority of them were cowards who would set up a date and then chicken out.
I have seen men have major mental meltdowns after sex over whether they are now gay or not. Some guys like that will blame you for making them gay and can become violent. I was too big for them to try it with me.
I think you hit the point on that.
Your right Barbie, gay men want to be with gay men. The guy’s I always go out with are self introduced as straight men who have wives sitting at home waiting and wondering where there he is. Little do they know that he is spending the night with a cd/drag queen. They usually say we give them so much more than a woman does. That being said men are selfish, egotistic and some are just down right pigs. But, I for one am glad they are for a little while anyway. My motto; get what ya want and kick him out the door till next time!
Thanks Jackie
I saw a lot of wedding rings on the fingers of the men who came to see me. I can’t say I saw it all because every time I thought that something even stranger would come along.
The worst thing I ever had to deal with was a guy who was an insane stalker. He would not stop calling he any time he was high on cocaine and he was always high. He would demand that I drive like 300 miles to kidnap him and force him to become a transsexual.
The man truly was insane. He made the mistake of meeting me in person at an isolated motel out in the Hamptons. I had two pro fem doms with me. He ended up running naked into the night screaming for help. His ID and credit cards had been cut up and his clothing was on the roof. He was screaming because of where I put the Ben Gay ointment. That was a fun night.
Since he had promised us $10,000 for the night to be dominated by the three of us we figured he could pay the motel. I ripped pipes from the wall and the girls slashed the mattresses and broke everything in the room. The room was under his credit card. I would estimate he would have been charged a good $10,000 if not more. We destroyed that room and flooded it.
Girl, I am loving everything about your response! Tell me that you love me, then get the **** out🙄😘
I transitioned several months ago and now live fulltime as a woman. I have gone for coffee with several men so far, but I don’t think that qualifies as a “date”. My sexual leanings are towards ciswomen and not men, I go out with women all the time! So no, I don’t, at this time, see myself dating a man.
cheers,
Lauren M
Like many of us I am happily married to the most wonderful lady. She is not as happy at the moment since she recently caught me and I confessed to her about Ginger. That being said if we were to split up (I pray that doesn’t happen) I would love the experience of dating a man or another crossdresser. I have always had dreams of what a relationship with another man with me being dressed would be like. I have for a long time wanted these experiences. Just a little insight into my mind. Hehe. Love and hugzz Ginny
Like many others here, I wouldn’t stray from my marriage. If I were single? All my adult life (and a bit before, if I’m honest with myself,) I have told myself I was”bi-curious “, but in thinking about this question I realize that if that were really true, somewhere in the 12 years between wife number one and wife number two, I would have made the effort to go out with a man, and I never did. I can tell myself I lived in a rural area, but there was a medium sized city with a major university less than 2 hours away, and a major city that I visited frequently about 4 hours away. So I guess the answer is, probably not.
There is simply no more feminine feeling than walking down a busy street as a woman, with a man holding your hand proudly. (Well, maybe one [blush].}
Try reading my series of articles on a weekend I spent as a woman tourist in New York City … with a man.
It’s called “And What I Wore”
-
I guess it depends on what you mean by “date.” I’m not attracted to men, but I am attracted to everything feminine. If it was accompanying a man for an evening and being dropped off after, sure, but nothing more. If it was spending time with a feminine CD, that’s a different story. 😊
I would, I have a complete reversal of my sexuality when I’m dressed.
In boy mode I am 100% straight and have no interest in men or t’girls. As a girl I am attracted to men, it’s like flicking a switch. I have always wondered why transsexuals sexual preference remains the same as SRS. I know it’s an over simplification but surely if you have always thought you were born in the wrong body shouldn’t your sexual preference reflect that?
It is a mystery to me why a trans-man would want to do the one thing that a man can’t do, have a baby the most profoundly feminine thing in the world, and yet we often see pictures of pregnant trans men .
I am well aware that sexuality isn’t as binary as it once was and that it is more grey than black and white.
I digressed from the main topic please accept my apologise.
Definitely not. I’m a straight male .. dressing up doesn’t change anything about my sexuality. I don’t have an alter ego or separate female personality. It’s the same me just in ladies clothes. I love all things feminine.. I’m most attracted to very feminine women
Not at the moment because I’m married, I have met some men in the past but not en femme, the thing is me and my wife are getting on better now than we were just a few years ago, but I’m still in the closet to her and i don’t want everything to go bad again by coming out to her, if i was single then that would be a different question if i could find a man who would accept me in my female role then i would definitely date him, the thing is I’m BI but i didn’t know until i was in my 20’s when i had my first encounter with a Gay Man, I’m still attracted to women it would be nice to interact with women while I’m en femme too,
Hugs Rozalyn X 💋
For me, it’s not likely to ever happen for a lot of reasons – not the least of which I am married. However, to the extent my alter ego is a fantasy person, I do allow my fantasies to go there when en femme, that others might find me attractive on that level, both male and female. If all stars aligned and were that opportunity ever to arise I am really not sure what my reaction would be, but I would probably kick myself if I didn’t live out the fantasy and experience , in more fullness, a greater degree of female-ness.
If I were to date again it would be as Janet and as her I am noticing a growing attraction to men. As I don’t go out this is theoretical although I socialise online as a female, taking appropriate precautions.
It starts out very slowly but once you meet and kiss the right guy you will wonder why you waited so long.
I had a date the other day with a man who adores me. It felt marvelous to hang on his arm, to lay my head on his shoulder, to cuddle next to him on the couch, to encourage him to talk about himself, to run my fingers through the hair on his arm and his head, to relinquish control and take direction, and to entice him to have his way with me. So nice. I’m waiting for him to ask me out again.
Ive “dated” a man before ( wink wink ) lol. He loved me as a CD. Ex and I were swingers ( very mild not crazy ) and we met a couple (we were all bi ) that we became good friends with. Him and I would meet on occasion for playtime. He was very respectful, gentle, and fun. Out wives knew and were fine with it. So very fun to be dressed and treated like a lady. Lots of good times.
No, I don’t have any interest in dating men. I have thoroughly enjoyed every opportunity I have had to go out with female friends and on a few occasions have met very interesting women when out to bars or clubs in girl mode.
I don’t recall ever being approached by a woman when in male mode, but it has happened quite a few times when I am out as Kimberly.
I have and I will again! The feeling of being the lady in the relationship is so satisfying and made me feel so feminine. Just walking with him holding his hand and leaning my head on his shoulders was thrilling! When we would get to his car the idea of him opening the door for me made me so giddy. Everything about being in femme and a man taking care of you is what every girl should experience. It’s been a while but I am so craving those feelings again it’s so unbearable!
-
Hi I have gone on several dates. So, that would make my answer a yes. I do love women. I am realizing not the same way society has told me I should. Since, I’ve gone on these dates, I’m learning more about my attraction to strong, handsome men. Ironically, my standards are higher in finding a man than they ever were when I dated women.
It’s intoxicating, when he holds me tight. Tells me I’m beautiful. My knees get weak every time.
xoxoxo JocelynI agree. There is no feeling quite like being held by a man.
There is nothing like being with a handsome guy Jocelyn, I have a boyfriend and it’s incredible to be the girl in the relationship! Hopefully things progress into a relationship!
-
Jess, I just spent the weekend with a man. Omg better than I ever imagined. Every aspect of the day seemed brighter. We would cuddle at the end to the night. The only time in my life, I didn’t want to be anywhere else. I was happy. Very happy. With that all I wanted to do was make sure I pleased him.
Loves Jocelyn ❤️💋
-
Jess, I just spent the weekend with a man. Omg better than I ever imagined. Every aspect of the day seemed brighter. We would cuddle at the end to the night. The only time in my life, I didn’t want to be anywhere else. I was happy. Very happy. With that all I wanted to do was make sure I pleased him.
Loves Jocelyn ❤️💋
Only if I was single.I am happily married to a wonderful woman who is very supportive of my crossdressing.But I am attracted to men.In the late 90’s I had a crush on a guy who sat opposite me at my office.He was nearly twenty years my junior and very much a man’s man passionate about soccer and golf.He would have been shocked to know that I fancied him.I fantasised about him on a regular basis for years.I imagined that he was my toy boy husband and wearing beautiful dresses and pantyhose\ tights for him.He once defended my honour against a male colleague who was giving me a hard time which made the fantasy stronger.He moved to another part of the office.A few years later I moved to another branch of my organisation a few miles from our main site.I have only set eyes on him once since that time on a brief visit to my old office.I still think of him.I quite often look at his Facebook profile and drool over the very sexy image of him as stride a motorbike on one of his public cover photos.I am tempted to friend him to see what he looks like today.But we were never really close friends and I do not think he would respond.He is in his early forties now.He is really a nice guy.I still fantasise about being his wife in a submissive role and being the mother of his children.However,it’s pure fantasy and will always remain so.
The short answer is yes, I would.
My alter-ego has a bunch of needs just like my male persona does. She enjoys expressing her femininity and would love to expand her female friendship group for meetups, coffee and laughter. Yet, she also craves intimacy – everything from flirting to dating to sex – with guys.
Both Helen and my male persona are mirror opposites; as @justjennyfromtheblock described, it’s like flicking a switch and an alter-ego kicks in complete with her own set of personality traits.
Both my personas are heterosexual – as a guy I’ve had no interest in dating men, yet as Helen my preference is to be with a man.
One observation however: I’m yet to fully understand whether Helen is attracted to men or whether she is attracted to being with men (if you get my meaning). Curious if any other girls have contemplated similar.
Helen,
In answer to your question. No, you are not the only one who has considered this.
I too am not really attracted to men, but am very much attracted to the idea of being with a man. I have no real desire to be with a man when I am presenting as the male side of myself. But when I slip into a dress, slip into some heels and put on my make-up there is definitely this part of me that is very much intrigued by the thought of a man being drawn to me.
For me, this does not feel gay. Or should I say that it doesn’t feel like I am a man desiring another man. No, it feels much more like a woman desiring a man.
I think that if you can find a man with you can feel safe and comfortable enough to explore that side of your self with you should. Who knows once you have had a few enjoyable experiences with him you may just find that it will awaken something inside of you that causes you to look at men in a whole different light. You may just find that you find men to be attractive in their own fashion, and not just the concept.
I have this crazy dream: I would like to go out on a date dressed in my femme finest with a woman dressed as a man.
Tried it once. However, it was actually three people. Me dressed up, my wife and the “date”. He was so kind and we all had a great time together. It was a very fun experience I must admit(he bought us dinner too!). We knew this person for awhile – it was NOT a stranger.
Would I do it again? Interesting thoughts.
An update: we may be doing this again this coming Saturday. A nice gentleman will be taking us out to dinner and has proposed his place afterwards. I have no idea why he wants us over afterwards….😇
April, I hope you have a great evening. He is a very lucky man.
As much as i would love to, i think the nerves would get the better of me! But i’d never say never
-
I have been on many dates with men, it is something you need to be careful with as many see you just as a sex partner and that is not what I am after. I am looking for a steady boyfriend and dated a doctor for about a year before he went back with his wife. It was the most fulfilling time though of my life as Lauren. I never felt more as who I truly am in those times living daily in full acceptance not as a crossdresser but as a woman. Looking for that again.
Yes without hesitation, years past, a good friend of mine had stopped by while I was decked out in my white satin teddy and white satin bra on. He caught my off guard. I rushed to pull on a pair of cut off sweat pants and a white hooded sweatshirt thinking that I would just answer the door and Shew him away so I could enjoy my dress up time. He was adiiment about wanting to come in. I took a deep breath and let him in.
The living room was dim . I usually have candles lit at night. I forgot that I had pantyhose on. I Noticed him looking at my legs. I thought my sweatshirt was looser fitting than it was but it wasn’t. The zipper must have been lower than what I also thought it was. Being in a hurry to cover up to answer the door everything was quick and a blur. Anyway, I was drinking a mixed drink, I asked d him he wanted one. As I put his drink down on the coffee table, I noticed him looking at my sweatshirt. he was looking at my bra. I was so embarrassed. And didn’t know what to say or do. Mike just smiled and said relax. He wasn’t going to judge me. I was still a bit taken aback. I had to go to the kitchen for a breath. Long story short, I didn’t know he had followed me in.
He saw me with my makeup and complimented me on how nice it looked. I returned to the living room drank a few drinks with Mike, then went to my room, took off the sweatshirt and shorts .
Put on a shear top and shear skirt with my wig, freshened my makeup put on my pink heals and returned.
Needless to say we had an in home date that I will always remember
-
And then some? 🤭🤫😂
me too xoxoJocelyn ♥️💋
-
This topic raise many questions, many of the girls, who say they are straight and would not date a man. As femme you are or desire to be a woman, then straight sex would mean dating men. I know a simplistic view of a complicated topic. Can one be a chauvinest and feminist just by changing your boxers for thongs? And vice verse.
Absolutely, and I have.
I have had a tremendous amount of fun on dates with men. Some were by invitation, a couple being hit on and picked up in a tavern (these seemed like the most fun). Those that hit on me were appropriately rewarded for their courage and bravery. And yes, when I am dressed en-femme, I take on all of the female roles possible when I am on a date. I have had a several dates and found them to be fabulous.
I had a wonderful friendship with a man that lasted for 6 years, he was extremely attentive and we were mutually attracted to each other. Our relationship was most definitely not about sex but was a deep friendship that developed overtime into a more physical relationship. We would meet up 8 to 10 times a year, usually in London but also in various places in Essex and the surrounding area, usually we would rent an apartment for a few days but sometimes we would stay in hotels.
I would usually travel to our meetings by train and he would always be waiting to greet me on the platform, I can tell you that there is nothing that can make you feel more like a woman than a hug and a lingering kiss by a tall, handsome man in full view of a a few hundred fellow passengers. Over the years we had some wonderful dates and he took me to some fabulous restaurants and we went to many West End shows and visited some great attractions.
One of our most memorable dates was when he took me to a charity ball, he looked very handsome in his white dinner jacket (tuxedo) whilst I wore a long silver dress and 4” scrappy heels. I am usually quite conservative with my lingerie but on this occasion I went all out wearing a very tightly laced corset, white silk panties and very sheer stockings. This was the first time we had ever danced and it was a very surreal experience being lead backwards on the highest heels I had ever worn in public, I was quite scared about tripping over the hem of my dress but my man looked after me well and made no secret of his attraction to me by often fondling my bottom and pulling me in close to him when I was very aware of the physical manifestation of his masculinity. Towards the end of the evening we were dancing closely when he whispered in my ear exactly what he wanted to do to me back in our hotel room, shortly afterwards we left the ball and after a short taxi ride he kept his promise! The joy of being a woman for a man is a wonderful experience.
After six years we rather drifted apart, largely caused by the difficulties in maintaining a long distance relationship, but I remember our times together with great fondness.
What a wonderful experience Trudy. I have never been with a man not even a kiss. For I fought against where I am now most of my life not wanting it for it was not norm. Well i have been on HRT for a year now and my perspective has changed. I am living full time and I am open to giving it a go. But either man or women will have to be a little patient with me for I have not been in an intimate and loving relationship in a few years. Your story was so beautiful. I really enjoyed the event dressed to the nines and dancing by being led by a man. Oh my gosh. I need a man like that. Sounds like a handsome and respectful gentlemen. My heart goes out to you. Love. Janice.
[quote quote=651345]I have a complete reversal of my sexuality when I’m dressed.[/quote]
I totally agree and feel the same.
I know what you mean. One of my basic tenets is that gender has much to do with one’s sexual identity. Therefore a variable gender would foster a variant sexual identity. Not the vector of Sexual Orientation as such but a variation in the role.
I would be reluctant to use the word ‘opposite’ as it infers that the sexes, male and female, are ‘opposites’ or that the genders, masculine and feminine, are opposite. The sexes are complementary. They work in co-operation. That’s how the species survives.
The genders are not opposites either. They are different. ‘Gender; just means ‘genre’ as, in Literature, Mystery. Speculative Fiction, Romance, etc.”Treasure Island” is not the opposite of “Pride and Prejudice”, they are just different.
It would seem that, sexually, what are deemed feminine behaviours of receptivity and compliance are co-operative with the initiatory and persuasive role of the masculine partner. This is why I do not believe the term ‘homosexual’ is valid as usually used.
True, if the sex is male-male that is ‘homosexual’ sex just as male-male baseball is ‘homosexual’ baseball but when it is masculine-feminine intimacy I feel that term and its intention are misleading. Masculine-feminine sexuality is not necessarily determined by the actual sexes of the participants. However, like the sexes, sexual identities can be complementary.
There is nothing inconsistent with a male being a woman. I am sure the vast number of persons here are convinced of that. A feminine sexual identity is consistent with one’s gender identity at the time.
So, while I recognize the stark differences in attitude, desires and needs that vary with gender I would be loath to define them as opposites. Maybe they are, but the connotations are disturbing.
Araminta.
Hi, ladies:
Reading the threads weaving into a multifaceted quilt of the answer to the prompting question has been fascinating to me. It shows me that there is no one true solid answer in general and with in many of the ladies here as unique, beautiful individuals.
My answer, like many of the ladies in the thread, is rather complex and multifaceted. As Philio I have no romantic or sexual interest in men. But as Jessica I am quite intrigued and aroused by the idea of being the contest of some handsome knight in shining armor. But to be honest with you and myself, I am also a little terrified of it.
I have been with men on a few occasions in my life. Most of these experiences were no fulfilling and quite honestly rather boring. But there was this one man who made me shiver in a way that I had never known before or have experienced since. Alas, no woman has ever made me feel alive, sensual and aroused in my whole being as he did. It is that experience that that makes me think, makes me hope that one day some man will rock Jessica’s world and maybe, maybe, capture her body, heart and mind.
Just for the record you never took me all the way, but for a few brief, glorious moments he he gave me the sweet taste, a barest glimpse of what passion is and what it feels like. If I ever get the chance to experience that again I hope that I’m secure enough in myself to light that night take me on a full gallop on his stallion.
Does that answer the question. 😊
Definitely! I would love to date a man fully dressed and out for dinner a walk and a movie. Hopefully a first date goodnight kiss too.
Aimee, it is a big step. I have found with the right guy it can be a wonderful and mind expanding experience. Feel free to PM me if You want to chat.
Hugs,
Steph
Much as I revel in my feminine side and enjoy presenting as a woman, I feel not an iota of attraction to men in that way (although I have wonderful male friends with whom I share a fraternal love and camaraderie).
There is nothing to me that can replace the sexual compatibility I have with women or their special companionship.
Even when fully en femme (or theoretically, if I were to completely transition), I would probably be a sort of lesbian (or “transbian”, as I think my sort are sometimes known).Love,
KatherineThis is interesting. A guy I have gone out with just asked me to meet him in San Diego for dinner. He is sweet but I am on the fence as to seeing him again.
Actually, they were a lot of fun. He is very nice. It is a bit of a logistical problem because of the distance. He also wants me to spend the night.
I recently had an interesting experience like this.
A friend of mine (a fellow CDer) and I had decided to meet for lunch, however at the last moment she was unable to dress and met me in drab, so it was male and female couple going to lunch. He was fun, held the door for me, and paid for lunch. Though I’m a liberated woman and willing to pay for my own lunch.
Honestly it was kind of fun sitting there with a man having lunch and being treated like a lady! Though there was nothing remotely romantic about it on neither side, well not on mine anyway.
Amy
Actually Amy, I have a number of CD friends who enjoy me taking them out with me as a guy. I am referred to as the backup boyfriend. Being escorted by a guy adds a level of safety to going out.
Sadly, I could not work a way to meet my male friend in San Diego. So disapointed. On the bright side a friend wants me to be her male friend for lunch and shopping next month. It’s always nice to play boyfriend for her.
Up until a few years ago I would have said no but that has all changed.
When I finally fully committed to making a complete transformation it began to open up a whole different world for me. Once I put in all the work including makeup, clothing, breasts, wigs. hip enhancers, corsets and jewelry and began to see myself as a woman it expanded what I wanted. When en femme I began to want to be seen as a woman. As Felicia I began to want to be desired as a woman. Slowly but surely that included being wanted and desired by men.
Now that I have come full circle I would date a man in a heartbeat. I don’t know if that will ever happen but if the answer is yes, absolutely.
No, I’m not interested in dating a man, but I would love for my wife to wear a strap on. So far we have only played with a few small vibrators. But I wish every success to those who are interested in dating men.
I have dated a man as Stephanie and would again. In fact, I’ve decided that I would date a man as Bill, and I’m beginning to get involved with one right now. It’s exciting either way.
Good luck Maygee. Remember one step at a time. Their is nothing wrong with going slow.
Absolutely! I have many times been out En Femme with a man however, when I am in “guy mode” that doesn’t interest me. I do enjoy the company of both men and women equally depending on if I am Jayme or Jamie.
When I am out as a woman I am attracted to men. I was out at a lesbian bar once and was hit upon by a very attractive woman but I felt nothing and just conversed with her no attraction. Yet a bit later in comes a couple of guys one of which asks me out to the dance floor and I readily say yes and start responding to his advances.
If I was in drab though I would have responded more to the woman than the guy. When I dress I feel my whole feminine persona take over me and I respond in the role I am in as a heterosexual female. I wonder if it is a case of split personalities.
OMG yes! Makes me feel complete when with a man as the real me. Have dated a few men over the years and it was totally reaffirming. Fell in love too! The desire to care for a man you adore can be totally overwhelming in so many ways. Crazy, but with one man I soo wished I could get pregnant. Weird I know.
I am so amazed at the response this topic or ones like it gets. The desire for interaction with a man seems to be an urge that so many members seem to hold a fascination with. It’s sad that a serious study never seems to have been done.
I’m in the I’m married so I’m not dating anyone camp. If I wasn’t? Probably not. To each her own but I don’t see Wanda as an “other”, she is still me and I like girls. I can’t say I’ve never thought about being feminine to the point a man would ask me out. I’ve even mused about what the hanky-panky might be like but I’m not going to act on it or set it as a goal for expressing my femininity. I do appreciate both those for whom it is a goal and for whom it’s a reality.
-
I have already responded to this but I will again. It is amazing dating men as your female persona. I feel there is nothing like having a man hold your hand, kiss on you, really desire you as a woman. And the sex, wow the sex. There is something about being a woman in the bedroom as well, in every way possible if you know what I mean. It just makes you feel complete. I have been attracted to men my whole life so I guess it is easier for me and there are many in here who consider themselves straight. I obviously am not. 🙂 So only do it if you are attracted to someone, otherwise you may get yourself into something that you may not want to be in once the euphoria settles and you both are intimate.
I guess I’m what you would call in the old days “bi-curious”, so I would definitely try it. While I’m still attracted to my wife, I’ve grown more attracted to men, but right now it’s only a fantasy that might crumble once I become intimate with a man. Since I’m satisfied with my wife I have no impetus to hook up with a man, unless my wife (that naughty girl) wanted to see it happen. So, assuming I’m single, or my wife’s open to the idea, then yes I would try dating a man.
What an interesting question. I am a 68 year old in a happy 40+ year marriage. My wife came home unexpectedly one day and finally met Josie. It wasn’t horrible (nothing was thrown, knives weren’t impaled!) but it wasn’t nothing. Since then, it has been difficult to have a physical relationship since she has basically rejected me.
Pre-covid, I would occasionally go out to lunch at a local lunch spot. I developed a pretty close relationship with an employee there but it never moved past a hug and peck on the cheek. I enjoyed the hugs and pecks on the cheek but still don’t know where I stand.
If I was alone, who knows. A man date might be fun.OMG, woukd I!!! A thousand times yes! I have dated several men over the years. And not only dated but had a wonderful physical relationship too. There is nothing that can compare to giving yourself as a woman to a man. It’s the best feeling in the world.
Love this Denise
My wife and I have a friend that is a trucker. About once a month he’s back in town and takes us to dinner. He knows I dress and is OK with it. I’ve been out with him en fem and in drab. Being dressed is so much more exciting. I dont have to worry about anyone saying anything when we are out with him. Almost 7 feet tall, just over 300 lbs, hands the size of bear paws. Maybe one day he’ll let me thank him properly for dinner. As of now he’s not into guys but said if he ever changes his mind it’ll be with Sarah. When I’m en fem he calls me Sarah. Feels so good. Even though it’s not really a date it’s as close as I’ll probably get so I enjoy it as much as possible.
I only fantasize about this a few times daily
Sorry, but no way would I date a man . I’m completely heterosexual, and enjoy the thrill of emulating a woman. The conflict is that if you are out and about, and looking good, what happens with unwanted attention from a male towards you as a female. The more we try to look like a beautiful woman, the more attention you might get from men. I hate to say it, but I had a private message from what I found out was called a troll asking me to text him, because he thought I looked good. I was totally creeped out.
If that happened in person, I would run as fast as my heels would allow in the other direction. But I don’t think that the best approach might be to just say, I’m a man, because that too might draw a very different unwanted response. So, I don’t know what I’d do, but I’m getting off subject. So suffice it to say, I’d never date a man. I’d certainly welcome attention from a GG if it ever happened. That would be a dream come true for me.
For me, the answer would be no because of fidelity to my wife. I have many fantasies about men, but for some strange reason, these don’t really translate to the real world. When I am around people, I find myself being very attracted to women and having no pull towards men when I see them in person, but I love images of men’s bodies online. I am much more open to experience than I was when I was younger, and if I weren’t married and the conditions were right, I think it would be an amazing experience.
I think my CD SO has similar thoughts. It sounds as though you love and respect your wife. Do you consider yourself heterosexual? Would you not want to be married now so you could have an experience like this? I am hoping to ask my SO these questions, but I don’t want to upset him. I love him very much and am working toward more acceptance.
Sorry for the late reply. I haven’t logged in very often. The importance of having a loving partner and best friend is much more important than any small fantasy might be. The fact that you ask that question means you are very loving and compassionate. I have never been with a man. Have you asked your SO about this? There is a book called Alice in Genderland where the author husband has an open affair with a long-term boyfriend with his wife’s consent. I don’t think most couples can sustain that type of relationship, but I think it is worth a read. Book club it with your SO. This will open up all sorts of dialogue. Some people are incredibly progressive in their views in the world today. That doesn’t mean you have to be comfortable with everything your SO wants. You sound lovely. I am starting to do some research in this area with an eye towards helping crossdressers and their wives/SO’s. I would love to interview you. It could be done through questions and response on this site if you like. Send me a message. I would love to support you. I am retiring from my first career soon and then going back to school for social work. You would be helping me a lot as well. Take care.
I’m a newbie so this thread is new to me….
My sexuality is only defined in terms of my feminine persona now. I’m bi so I would definitely date a man. He would have to be someone who is kind, respectful, intelligent, interesting and worldly. He would definitively need to completely respect me as a woman and that my role in the relationship is the female.
This has to be the longest thread on CDH that I have come across!
At the moment, being married and appreciating women the way that I do and my CD adventure so far, no, I am not interested in having a relationship with men.
Could that change if I get really en femme with make-up, wigs, shave, etc, at my age? I doubt it.
Just a thought… I am always full of questions because I want to learn more.
Is your change, ending up on a few dates with men, based on what would normally be expected from a woman, or was it a real, new attraction to men?
I have and would if they were the right one. Before my wife passed we would go out together and sometimes hook up with other people that we knew and accepted my being dressed and bi so there wasn’t a problem. With my wife being bi it helped so sometimes we would share other men and women that we knew were okay with sharing.
Yes I would. Although I’d feel guilty regarding my wife I still would think it as a thrill
I dream of going to the movies with a guy holding hands when going into the theatre or even a dinner date. I have never had a same sex experience. So kissing etc would be difficult mentally but What ever happens happens for one date I’d go with the flow, if I liked it I’d do it again if not no harm done. I would make this clear before any date though.
Emily xx
The first hurdle would be me getting out alone and actually agreeing to such a date in the first place as I’m very shy internally although come across as confident.
Super interesting topic. Although the situation most likely never presents itself….I can’t say that I’d say no….if it did. I mean, I didn’t how much I would enjoy crossdressing, until I found myself in a dress for the first time. Long before I found myself on this journey, I envied the role of the woman in dating. The man really has to do all of the “work” when it comes to dating…..from planning, paying, opening doors, while the woman is expected to look her best(which is fun) and ultimately decide how the night ends based on the time she had. And while I know the first part of the woman’s role is fun and exciting(getting dressed), the second part kinda makes me nervous…..but, if he thought I was attractive enough to take out, hold my hand, and treat me the way a woman should be treated, if he spent his evening trying to make sure I was enjoying myself…..then I think I could return the favor!
I can relate to your comment about the man having to do the heavy lifting so to speak. I was so shy in school that I never had dates in part because I was a gawky teenager, and in part because I was afraid to ask a girl out, and the off time I did I really messed up because of nervousness.
Now I have the same feelings as you, could one go through with a date with man, no idea, and I don’t think I’ll have the chance to find out as I’m, married!
Amy
Yes, exactly! I didn’t start crossdressing until my mid 30’s, and as I’ve had time to kinda analyze myself and looking back, I much would have preferred to be “pursued” rather than be the “pursuer”….it’s just more my personality. I’ve never been attracted to men, but if an alpha saw me “made up” and took charge, I believe I’d have a hard time resisting his advances, just from the sheer excitement of the fact, that he thought I was worth chasing. The idea of the man takes care of the date, and the woman takes care of the man, is kind of appealing to me.
What a great question and I loved all of the varied responses. Since I recently have come to terms with my femininity and being Lexi, it is something I think about often. I have chatted online with a few admirers, and the majority of them have been really nice guys (in as much they can be online), but it makes me feel sexy when a man tells you “you are all woman” in his eyes. That’s obviously because they are attracted to girls like us, but nevertheless, it makes me feel a certain way.
Short answer is yes though. If I met the right guy and we had a connection, I absolutely would. Feels good to write that down and that’s why I love this community. News flash…Lexi is a straight girl lol.
xoxoxoxo
Lexi
Despite my femme alter-ego, I am attracted to women. I would more than enjoy an evening out with a woman as Sophie.
I wouldn’t be completely opposed to an evening out with a man as long as he knows it would be totally platonic. I have no attraction to men and would want he expectations to be clear prior to the date.
Sophie
That’s my conundrum, too, Stephanie. I was never much in the romance department, anyway…but I did enjoy social relationships with gg’s when I could have them.
Sometimes Holly just have to play hard to get.
One reason why kinda speeding up the process by getting some plastic surgery done wanting a fem face As as possible.
Not taking sides here. I would choose my partner for their should and their affection for their honesty and their generosity towards others
Why does soul become should ???? never understood the spell check !!!
Me too I would do everything with him, to please a man as Lucille s a must
- The topic ‘Would you date a man en femme?’ is closed to new replies.
Recent Comments