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  • #404517
    Grace Scarlett
    Participant
    Registered On: July 26, 2020
    Topics: 50
    Replies: 1431
    Has thanked: 6666 times
    Been thanked: 7931 times

    Hello girls…I hope everyone is feeling good.

    This is something that will probably raise quite a lot of different opinions…here goes – do you thing a basic membership fee would deter trolls and trouble makers??

    Would you pay a small ” one off” life membership fee, say £10 to be a basic member (Lady), obviously all other paid member ” levels” would stay as they are…maybe for the fee you got ,say, a 50 photo allowance or something similar.

    I just wonder if the trolls would go to the trouble of paying to join, just to throw insults, so making CDH a safer place. Please don’t misunderstand me, the girls in charge do the most wonderful job, the problem being they can only usually act after someone has been hurt…….I’m sure you all have your own ideas….

    stay safe, grace ❤️❤️

Viewing 36 reply threads
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    • #407309
      Cindy Rush
      Lady
      Registered On: June 12, 2020
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 63
      Has thanked: 335 times
      Been thanked: 391 times

      I would and plan to be a paid member here very soon.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #405901
      Amy Myers
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 11, 2019
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 1148
      Has thanked: 3136 times
      Been thanked: 2999 times

      Bettylou, I agree with you that though a small membership fee would deter any troublemakers, but it would also likely deter those of extremely limited means, where $10-20 might be a real issue. Then those who are so closeted that they are deathly afraid to do an online, or other potentially traceable payments.

      Amy

    • #405603
      Bettylou Cox
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 1703
      Has thanked: 3020 times
      Been thanked: 5708 times

      IMO, this site is a treasure, and worthy of paid support from everyone.  The only valid reason I can think of for having free memberships is to protect the girls who are in the closet and can’t pay online or by check without revealing themselves.  I’m sure there is a workaround for this, but it might mean a lot of work for someone to manage the payments.  Personally, I would rather tolerate the trolls than force any of our ladies to drop out.

      Bettylou

    • #405602
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1071
      Has thanked: 10066 times
      Been thanked: 3459 times

      Hi Grace it could go either way as i was free for a bit till i could arrange to pay and  i went all in as a princess as i want to support CDH keep alive as its a big help to all here especialy new girls here that cant pay  so im happy to step up and keep us going in the right direction but i think shooting the trolls would be a better solution  lol hugs to all my sisters past present and future love you all .

      Stephanie Bass

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #405599
      Molly
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 260
      Has thanked: 1346 times
      Been thanked: 805 times

      Honestly;

      I decided to pay within the first day of finding CDH, but needed to convince the SO that it was appropriate for a regular payment.   I would happily have paid a one off $5 fee (price of luxury coffee) for a free level membership if I was to know that it helped deter most of the unsavoury individuals.

      Failing that, I’d be just as happy if the only way a free account could communicate with the site was chat (that’s well patrolled), and posting to forums (in which case it’s obvious that they are a member)

      Basically if someone want’s in enough, then we can’t stop them from posing as a CD or trans to gain entry, but hopefully we can deter some of the more lazy/inept/cheap individuals by a once off charge.

      To combat the issues of “I can’t pay electronically”, we can offer a “Contact an administrator to make your case for an exception”.

      Finally if we really get way out there… You can pay once off $50 and get back $40 at six months unless you misbehave, or it can ALL be applied to a membership if you start one.

      The question is how to provide enough of a preview that CD individual know it’s worth it.

      -Molly

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #405379
      Evelyn
      Lady
      Registered On: June 18, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 47
      Has thanked: 237 times
      Been thanked: 169 times

      I would certainly pay a fee to ensure the safety of this site. I’m from the UK and although I’ve not been a member for long, I think  it’s the finest website for us that I’ve ever experienced.  Worth every penny to keep the idiots out. Xxx

       

       

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #405363
      Jamie Taal
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2019
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 85
      Has thanked: 448 times
      Been thanked: 446 times

      I like CDH because because there is an application to enter and no membership fee. I am on a tight budget and would prefer to keep the base model free with increased level of access based on added membership fees. Yes, you have to apply and that keeps most of the creeps away but I feel that it is worth it. Violators can usually be spotted and banned quickly. I have grown to have thick skin related to trolls and report them immediately and get on with my life.

      Maybe there can be a one time $10 fee (or other amount based on national currencies) that gets charged upon application and then reimbursed after a few months based on good behavior and amount of activity. It’s not perfect but could eliminate another level of the everyday trolls that are not willing to part with a nominal fee.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #405354
      Nancy Gamms
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: March 1, 2017
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 188
      Has thanked: 22 times
      Been thanked: 412 times

      Just thinking out loud.  Is the biggest problem in private messages or chat? Can there be different levels of access?  You “earn” it as you have been here and played by the rules?  You can post in forums first, then chat, then pms.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #405272
      Casey Amber Twitchings
      Lady
      Registered On: May 15, 2020
      Topics: 36
      Replies: 340
      Has thanked: 310 times
      Been thanked: 1259 times

      As a number of folks here have said there will always be trolls. If they want to troll badly enough they will figure out a way to do it even if it means using a stolen credit card number. And believe me, they will. If I had to pay to be a member here I would have to leave. I know I’m not alone.

    • #404897
      Regine Rich
      Princess
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 534
      Has thanked: 5618 times
      Been thanked: 2326 times

      I think a small fee would be a wonderful idea. It would certainly keep the average troll away. I think the ones that have an agenda would still show up, but im not just sure how many of those are really around here?
      but,just full disclosure, I’m already a happily paid subscription member, so my opinion maybe is biased:-)
      Hugs, Regine

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #404874
      Amanda Burton
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 853
      Has thanked: 6702 times
      Been thanked: 3249 times

      Wow…girls….brilliant interaction..as usual….it seems the overriding opinion is ” keep it free”…

      That’s wonderful, I hope not one of you lovelies has taken any sort of offence at this topic, after all, it’s all about opinions isn’t it???

      Personally, CDH is my haven too, and I would hate to lose just ONE of you because of paper trails, or whatever other reason….thanks…..big huggs,

      grace ❤️❤️

      Grace sweetie no one has taken offence of  your question. If fact you always come up with really interesting ones to debate or take part in.

    • #404861
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 50
      Replies: 1431
      Has thanked: 6666 times
      Been thanked: 7931 times

      Wow…girls….brilliant interaction..as usual….it seems the overriding opinion is ” keep it free”…

      That’s wonderful, I hope not one of you lovelies has taken any sort of offence at this topic, after all, it’s all about opinions isn’t it???

      Personally, CDH is my haven too, and I would hate to lose just ONE of you because of paper trails, or whatever other reason….thanks…..big huggs,

      grace ❤️❤️

    • #404803
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 10, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 748
      Has thanked: 9 times
      Been thanked: 1972 times

      Also, there is at least one person, and perhaps others, who would not be able to pay…

    • #404739
      BillieJay
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: September 21, 2018
      Topics: 212
      Replies: 71
      Has thanked: 196 times
      Been thanked: 280 times

      as the chat manager, I can tell you that trolls are real and they are a consistent pain in the… you get it…

      I’m afraid, however, that such a fee would chase off the shy new girls that need what this site does, but they aren’t sure yet if they want to make any commitment at all.

    • #404738
      Anonymous
      Registered On:
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 106
      Has thanked: 2019 times
      Been thanked: 457 times

      I try to be active and helpful, and I have come to figure out “ me” in my time here on the site because of all the communication and info I have read here. But if I have to pay I would have to leave… I’m not out and I can’t have a trail

    • #404734
      Genevïéve
      Lady
      Registered On: July 28, 2020
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 554
      Has thanked: 5233 times
      Been thanked: 2340 times

      Trolls….  is it really that big of a problem… ?

      Gen… 💋

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #404707
      Sa•man•tha
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 392
      Replies: 1633
      Has thanked: 7205 times
      Been thanked: 6190 times

      Hi Sisters,

      We have other tools available, which we can and do use.

      The thing I’d like everyone to understand is that when you get hit by a troll this person is seeking to glorify themself.  It’s not a personal thing.

    • #404705
      Kelly Terry
      Lady
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 169
      Has thanked: 157 times
      Been thanked: 669 times

       

      The first thing I do before replying to a post is check the posters profile, to get some idea of who I am talking to, and who I might consider being friends with.  Initial restrictions may only serve to put genuinely interested girls off.  What’s the point, they will think, if I can’t do anything?

      As Grace pointed out in another post – a virtually blank profile may be genuine or it may be an indication of a potential troll.  Everyone is encouraged to fill out their profile so restricting access to it defeats the purpose of it.

      I’m not saying block unless you pay but I’m thinking that if you can’t just create a free account and then directly see all people and send private messages to them it makes it a little harder for trolls to start spamming people.

      I don’t know how other people started here but I would expect that one start with looking around, feel the need to reply or start a topic and then create a account. After then replying starting maybe 10 posts (and more than 5 minutes passed) the profile info opens up.

      /kt

    • #404704
      Jannie Murry
      Lady
      Registered On: October 15, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 114
      Has thanked: 61 times
      Been thanked: 530 times

      Leave it alone. If its not broken why try to fix it?., This being free is a great way to stay in touch with friends and other people like we are without leaving a paper trail. I for one wouldn’t stay on this site if it wasn’t free. Thanks for all of your input

       

    • #404696
      Giselle Reeves
      Lady
      Registered On: September 27, 2017
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 139
      Has thanked: 569 times
      Been thanked: 426 times

      regretfully i would leave the site

    • #404694
      Paula1
      Lady
      Registered On: October 22, 2015
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 513
      Has thanked: 535 times
      Been thanked: 1119 times

      Beautifully written Karley….and yes, CDH should ALWAYS be a refuge, I have paid for a while, coming from Australia it gets very pricy for myself and there is the trail as well

      Maybe a one off fee could work

      Hugs Paula

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #404679
      Sutekina
      Lady
      Registered On: January 27, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 77
      Has thanked: 1268 times
      Been thanked: 241 times

      10 pounds is steep for me, but I would pay a nominal fee, only after having seen the sight the way it is for at least a month. If I couldn’t see the sight and the value of the forums, I wouldn’t have explored further with this sight.

    • #404628
      karley delaware
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: October 23, 2017
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 409
      Has thanked: 1790 times
      Been thanked: 1139 times

      As a deterrant to trolls, it could work, but so many girls out there need to find refuge here……………………..Like me for instance…………. shy , skittish , careful with money, after much mental back and forth…………joined as a Lady………………found Love, Friendship, Support ,Knowledge, and Confidence…………….budgeted and with  a boost from a small lottery ticket winning,  became a Baroness!! In the short time I have been here………….(tears….sorry)………..I have grown so much!!!  I would vote to keep it as is…………….just need to support and protect one another…………help each other to be strong, confident girls to stand up to the bullies.     karley

    • #404611
      Stevie65
      Lady
      Registered On: September 6, 2019
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 141
      Has thanked: 272 times
      Been thanked: 548 times

      Like that has been mentioned before. Some can not because of family issues and it might not get rid of all the trolls. I would stay depending on the basic rate.

    • #404599
      Gail Rich
      Lady
      Registered On: October 11, 2017
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 38
      Has thanked: 29 times
      Been thanked: 132 times

      I would not stay. It is not about money, it is about the payment trail. I can not have a trail, so I would not be able to stay.

      by the way, anyone who wanted to be a troll would not let a payment stop them.

       

    • #404594
      Stevie Steiner
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 37
      Replies: 799
      Has thanked: 3888 times
      Been thanked: 4243 times

      The issue really is about a payment trail for some as opposed to the fee.  Certainly an issue for those still completely closeted.  Myself, this site has already paid for itself tenfold for how it has helped me and introduced me to many people I’m happy to call friend.  So, I have no issue with the concept at all.

      Stevie

    • #404588
      rebekka moore
      Lady
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 77
      Replies: 872
      Has thanked: 438 times
      Been thanked: 1742 times

      One reason I cannot shop on line much is my SO i tied to every method of payment I would be able to use.

      I sure do not want to start my own account somewhere to pay attention to.

      So while I would be open to paying a small fee, it would be difficult.

    • #404587
      Kelly Terry
      Lady
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 169
      Has thanked: 157 times
      Been thanked: 669 times

      When I joined I was deep in the closet and most kind of payment would revile my true identity (and show up somewhere for my wife to see, not a problem for me since wife know but maybe for others).

      I have now left the closet a bit and could consider paying for more but a monthly payment still hurts a bit (all this “it’s only X dollar per month” from several different online places means you quickly end up in a lot of money every month) so a one time fee could be interesting to me at least.

      I haven’t been targeted by any of the nastygrams the trolls sent out and I’m not sensitive so I would probably just ignore it but it will always hurt someone so a way to stop it would be good.

      The one time payment for something like a few more pics or so could be good but as some pointed out I think several ladies would leave then. Maybe because of just the thought of paying is an issue or how to pay.

      I think a better option would be to go down the path of initial restrictions until proven ok. Like that any new member can not join chat or see anyones profile (and with that no private messages) until they done X posts.

      /kt

      • #404609
        stephanie plumb
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: November 17, 2018
        Topics: 118
        Replies: 1374
        Has thanked: 2031 times
        Been thanked: 5905 times

         

        The first thing I do before replying to a post is check the posters profile, to get some idea of who I am talking to, and who I might consider being friends with.  Initial restrictions may only serve to put genuinely interested girls off.  What’s the point, they will think, if I can’t do anything?

        As Grace pointed out in another post – a virtually blank profile may be genuine or it may be an indication of a potential troll.  Everyone is encouraged to fill out their profile so restricting access to it defeats the purpose of it.

    • #404575
      Rachel Williams
      Lady
      Registered On: November 3, 2019
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 114
      Has thanked: 238 times
      Been thanked: 353 times

      Hi Grace

      Whilst I can understand the motivation for the idea I wod makee very unsure about staying. At a nominal payment such as £10 it would not be out of any principle but because of the payment trail it would create as it would mean that my male name would be appearing on the database which might give an incentive for the wrong sort of data hacker which might prove more dangerous for many of us than the action of the occasional troll.

      Rachel

    • #404574
      Rei Durden
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 791
      Has thanked: 4885 times
      Been thanked: 3194 times

      Yes I would.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #404572
      Falecia McGuire
      Lady
      Registered On: January 11, 2019
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 126
      Has thanked: 113 times
      Been thanked: 728 times

      I’m also not too concerned about “trolls.”  But, the option of a one-time payment that would provide some sort of advanced status/membership has merit.  The problem with the current monthly upgrade is setting up payment.  I don’t do financial stuff as Falecia.  My guess is I’m not alone.  I could do a one-time and likely would.  Maybe they should examine 501C3?  Or . . . set up a foundation?  Maybe we’d be a great 3rd party alternative for the US or on the world stage as the World Health Engendering Network (WHEN) to partner with WHO?

      FAM

    • #404569
      Anonymous
      Registered On:
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 38
      Has thanked: 26 times
      Been thanked: 215 times

      The idea of gaining access with payment will deter some but others will happily pay for there fun or have access to ways of paying that don’t cost them a penny.

      I for one can see one of them finding it haleries to sign there friends up and pay for access using there computer or phone then flooding comments all whilst there friends back is turn for a second. just to name one

      One thing that could work is slow verification, where you can only post contact or reply a few times a day till you have proved yourself as no threat. after a week or two of activity the limit is dropped.  this will mean they cant flood insults around unless there prepared to pretend to contribute for a while first. and I really cant see them bothering to do that.

      This as everything would take time reworking the site and overlooked by the moderators, all in all not shore it would balance out to be Worthwhile .

      Altho to be honest what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and what better place to face this then a place like this with the support and help of everyone here, I know this is and other sites are supposed to be a safe havens for people like us, but sometimes I think a little to safe where some can hide from the real world and lock it out for far to long.

       

       

       

    • #404566
      stephanie plumb
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 118
      Replies: 1374
      Has thanked: 2031 times
      Been thanked: 5905 times

      Personally I don’t think a financial penalty on existing members would be fair.   And I agree with Celeste that it might lead to losing a lot of valuable members.   It would be like being given a free drink,  and then asked to pay.

      I do not store photo’s anymore, or use chat and other advanced options, and I hope my frequent participation in the forums is enough to continue to allow me free membership.   One of the attractions of CDH is that it doesn’t treat basic members as a cash cow like other sites do.  If I were to start using advanced options then I would be okay with paying a contribution for the extra access given.

      The administrators of this site have shown that they are quite capable of getting rid of the turds that very occasionally get through.

    • #404549
      Anonymous
      Registered On:
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 114
      Has thanked: 520 times
      Been thanked: 643 times

      If you charged either a one-time fee or recurring monthly fee, I would need to leave.  Not that I don’t have the money, I certainly do.  Money isn’t the issue, rather the issue is this: How would I get the money to you?  Note that I don’t do any financial transactions electronically, only cash or check.

    • #404548
      Celeste Starre
      Lady
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 31
      Replies: 728
      Has thanked: 206 times
      Been thanked: 2204 times

      I expect it would deter trolls but trolls don’t bother me. I just ignore them.  As to extra pics,they don’t interest me either as I can keep lots of photos free at my flicker site.  So to sum up, if this site starts charging everyone, you will indeed get rid of the trolls along with a lot of other members.

    • #404530
      Amanda Burton
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 853
      Has thanked: 6702 times
      Been thanked: 3249 times

      Oh absolutely Grace most would, but there again many hackers can still bypass pay for access sites and indeed many do, just look at the banking world for one. Mine was hacked and two thousand was transferred to account in Scotland some time ago.

    • #404518
      Stephanie Roberts
      Princess
      Registered On: May 20, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 426
      Has thanked: 3439 times
      Been thanked: 1421 times

      Great suggestion Grace. Let’s see what the other ladies think.

      L❤️ve, Stephanie 💕

      6 users thanked author for this post.
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