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    • #684294
      Anonymous

      Hi ladies!

      This is a poll question that may make you think a bit more than some of my other polls have, but it’s one that I think all of us who are crossdressers or anywhere on the transgender spectrum have given some thought to, at least once.

      So here goes…

      As a crossdresser, would you willingly give up your male priveleges so that you could live more fully, or even full time, as a woman?

      So what do I mean by that?

      Well, let’s face it, we live in a male-run and -dominated world. Men are generally the ones in power, they make the decisions, they run the businesses, and so on. In short, they’re in charge and they make the rules. And whether we’re an alpha male or not  (I’m assuming most of us here on CDH are not), by the mere fact that we have XY chromosomes, we benefit from those same rules that govern most of the world, so we have some, if not all, of the same priveleges that men in leadership positions have. But depending on where in the world you live, women are often considered to be second-class citizens, they may make less money and don’t have all the same employment, educational and promotional opportunities men do.

      Now as crossdressers, we live for those times when we can transform ourselves into the women we so desire to be. We long to be able to express that feminine part of ourselves in public, so that we can be seen and treated as the women we want to be. But here’s the dirty little secret. As crossdressers, we also have a safety valve that real women don’t have — at some point, we can go back to being men. This menas we get to pick and choose when we are women, where we go as women, what we do as women, and so on, but we also know that when we have to be, we’re still men. Women don’t have that option, they’re women 24/7.

      Sure, for some of us, mainly those who have fully transitioned or are in the process of transitioning, they’ve moved (are or moving) from the MTF crossdresser world into the world of being a woman 24/7. So they probably have already given a lot of thought and consideration to what that means. They realize that they may be giving up some of those male priveleges. But that’s okay, because it means they’ll be able to live fully as the woman they have always needed to be. I suspect (but don’t have first hand knowledge) that for those women, that’s not even a consideration, but I’m very curious to hear their perspective on this question.

      And that’s how I know I’m not fully transexual (besides the fact that I’ve never completely felt I was born in the wrong body). Because I honestly can’t say with 100% certainty that I would give all of that up. Yes, from a conceptual standpoint, I would love to be able to live as a woman full time because, like most of us here on CDH, I truly do have that longing, that desire, and even a need to be able to express the woman inside me and to live as her. But once I begin to think about what that would really mean, how I would live, what I would have to deal with, I pause (and this is also not even considering the impact of that choice on my family, friends, work, etc). Would I give my male priveleges up? Really? I honestly don’t know.

      How about you? Whether you’re a crossdresser or transexual, I’m sure you’ve thought about this decision, but I don’t know if you’ve thought about it from this perspective.

      I’m really curious to hear everyone’s thoughts on this.

      Hugs,

      Holly

      PS – you can choose more than one response if you need to

    • #684300

      Hi Holly, yes, of course, there’s no doubt, as I’ve already done it!! Gladly and very willingly.
      Was it worth it? A thousand million times YES!!!

      Hugs,

      Ms. Lauren M

    • #684332
      Anonymous

      I have looked all over, in the basement, under the cushions, in the trash, oh there it is, yep 5:45 am and I’m up, feed the pup and off to work, hey the wifes up early today at 9:30 male privilege your talking about? LOL

    • #684333

      Hi Holly, and all you lovely girls, I’ve quoted this and will share my thoughts on the topic.

      “Sure, for some of us, mainly those who have fully transitioned or are in the process of transitioning, they’ve moved (are or moving) from the MTF crossdresser world into the world of being a woman 24/7. So they probably have already given a lot of thought and consideration to what that means. They realize that they may be giving up some of those male privileges. But that’s okay, because it means they’ll be able to live fully as the woman they have always needed to be. I suspect (but don’t have first hand knowledge) that for those women, that’s not even a consideration, but I’m very curious to hear their perspective on this question.”

      For those of you who don’t know my story, a small but important piece of info. I was born transgender, I knew I was supposed to be a girl from the age of four and have lived with that knowledge my entire life.
      So, for me, growing up as a very feminine boy, who always wished he was a she, and paying a definitely hard price for that, the male privilege was shoved in my face so many times by various males through my life that I basically developed a hatred of the the concept. It came at me from males who were very patriarchal and often quite misogynistic, so I also grew up with a very distasteful view of anything to do with “the male privilege”.
      Just recently, several men, including my youngest brother who refuses to accept Lauren, actually said to me these exact words: “I can’t believe you’re willing to give up your male privilege!”
      Unfortunately I viewed it as more of a curse than any kind of privilege. I’ve always been very feminine
      and extremely sensitive, most of my interests are in the fine arts, music, writing and photography.
      I never fit in with guys growing up or any of the men in my adult life, but always had a crowd of girls.
      I have found far greater acceptance and appreciation as a woman than I ever did as a man.
      Now a childhood dream from early in my life has been fulfilled, and I am actually living as a woman!

      Big hugs girls, remember, it’s a lot more fun being a girl! 🙂

      Ms. Lauren M

    • #684334
      Davina
      Lady

      Holly, great question. I voted no (so far the only one who voted that way, so obviously I sm in the minority). I am simply a male who likes to crossdress from time to time. I don’t pass as a female, so I just do it because I so enjoy it. However, I am not willing to give up being male and doing the other things I enjoy in life. I so respect those who want to change for what ever reasons and wish them the very best in life!

    • #684341

      Yes, no doubts! I would also fight for great representation for women as I do now! Hate to admit this but women are smarter then men!

    • #684365
      Emily Alt
      Managing Ambassador

      I think if a crossdresser willingly gives up their male privilege to live as a woman they’ve moved to a different place on the trans spectrum.  That’s where I’m at.

      • #684367

        Thank you Emily, yes indeed, a much nicer place on the spectrum, I’m right there with you girl! 🙂

        Hugs,
        Ms. Lauren M

    • #684407

      Hi Holly I’ve voted maybe, if i was single of course i would live fully as a woman who wouldn’t, but I’ve been married for such a long time and i don’t think my wife would accept my feminine side, as for our children we very rarely see them only on special occasions like Xmas and birthday party’s, so on the occasion’s i do see them i could possibly underdress , I could keep one set of male drab clothes for those occasions, everything else in my wardrobe would be lovely women’s attire X

      Hugs Rozalyn X 💋

    • #684421
      Anonymous
      Duchess

      Hi, I’m practically doing now. I’ve made several significant changes in my life. I’m working on developing Jocelyn’s identity in the world. She is quickly becoming a member of society. As I walk, talk among the free, only a handful of people know Jocelyn’s other persona. She’s here to stay.

    • #684428
      Thea
      Lady

      Wow: what a question.  From the deep sadness and almost palpable sense of loss I feel when I have to undress:. then yes… But the effect on my wife would be devastating. But, shame on me, my finger hovered over the “yes like a shot choice”!

      Hugs Gabby xx

    • #684458
      Angela Booth
      Hostess

      I understand the term ‘Male privilege’ but in my life I cannot say that I have had any benefit. The school I went to seemed to have a progressive attitude in that boys did home economics and even needlework! There were as many girls as boys in sciences and in fact every class. In my worklife I was never paid more than the girls and worked in environs that had equal opportunities and pay. So to live as I do today is a natural progression and sometimes I feel that as a woman I have more privilege than before. The biggest is htat I am accepted into their world.

      • #684545

        I rather agree.
        No doubt there are male privileges (which we take for granted and hardly perceive) but there is also usually a high price to be paid for them – and this is not normally discussed.
        From my male point of view, it seems that women enjoy a set of privileges too – and indeed, their privileges seem to outnumber those of men.
        My late wife on the other hand, was always quick to point out the disadvantages of being a woman fulltime in society every time I mentioned being more public or fulltime about my becoming “Katherine”.
        It’s a conundrum.
        Love,
        Katherine

    • #684472
      ChloeC
      Duchess

      Hi Holly, well, first I had a mother who was a very, very strong woman.  She persevered through hardships where most others would have thrown in the towel, and pretty much succeeded.  Since my natural father passed away when I was 4, it was my mother who I viewed as the ‘standard’ adult, so from that upbringing, I always felt that males and females should be judged on their character not on their looks. And I never understood why any sane person would consider ‘male privilege’ as something like a birthright.

      The real issue for me is not male privilege, but unreal expectations from my extended family. If I started publicly crossdressing or pursued surgery, I’m sure my adult children’s first action would be to contact their mother and ask, “is Dad crazy? Some late in life psychosis? How are you handling it?  Note, they would do that first before coming to me and wanting to sit down and listen and ask questions.

      So, if my spouse first, then me second could deal with it, well, I’d just have to muddle through with our kids. My feeling is that me giving up male privilege would be pretty much the last thing on their minds or mine.

      Hugs, ChloëC

    • #684560
      Roberta Broussard
      Duchess - Annual

      I think that women have just as many privileges, some even better than men. If I only had to consider myself.  If i thought that my 2 daughters and their 3 kids would not be traumatized by it. I would jump at the chance to live out my life as a woman. I keep this as my secret. Only to spare them any chance of grief or added stress.

      I have no fear or hesitation over taking on the world in a dress.

      • #684967
        Carolyn Kay
        Baroness - Annual

        Your statement speaks volumes, at this stage of life we have to be considerate of our kids and grandkids. Even though I do believe my kids have their suspicions no sense confirming them at this age, it could only cause grief for everyone.

        • #685029
          Roberta Broussard
          Duchess - Annual

          Yep, i do not want to finish out my career in life without my family. I can dress as often or as ling as I like but I make it work.  I guess it’s a quality and not a quantity thing.

    • #684600
      Gwyneth
      Lady

      I’m late to this glorious “Holly poll”! You can guess my answer!!

      I’m one that is wondering where this male privilege is as well. At least THIS male that is very subservient. I was up at least by 4am for work unless I was working overtime, then 2am. Why? So either wife could stay home with kids if they wanted (wife 1 didn’t, wife 2 did for 15 years! Men almost NEVER get that opportunity.). I for one have always regarded the ladies as the stronger sex. The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world. Those of us males that found out early just how wonderful sex feels are at a distinct disadvantage. We had to take initiative. Handle the rejection. Spend mightily to gain favor. Then if offered the opportunity of intercourse, do everything perfectly. If we didn’t, we definitely heard about it. I’ve been told things about my prowess (or lack thereof) that I would never tell a woman!

      Now if the question is about physical strength, that’s different. While most women have given me much mental abuse, men can physically abuse women much easier. And I hate that. I’ve always believed any man that would rape or abuse any woman should be put away. How long? Long enough to make SURE it wouldn’t happen again. And yes I know if I went back and lived my life as gay, I could certainly defend myself against this type of abuse much easier.

      But back to the original question: I would quickly give up any perceived advantage to live as a woman. Yes because of the easier access to intercourse. But if I had the reverse hormonal distribution, my feelings toward that might be different. That and being instilled from birth “whatever you do, don’t give him THAT!”.

    • #684611

      Holly,

      Your question is intriguing for a variety of reasons and possible answers. But for me, I’d have to say ‘no’. For me, I love to escape from time to time in my little “Jill world”, to express my femininity even if it’s just to myself, my cats,  and occasionally my wife. I treasure those times, I really do, but I’m happy to be a guy, too much in fact, to give it up.

      Now personally, I’ve never experienced male privilege that I can think of. I’ve never been paid more, or had doors of power open for me simply because of the plumbing between my legs. I know that such things do happen, and that’s very misogynistic and wrong on so many levels. But despite not experiencing those advantages, I’m still happy being me for the most part.

      By that I mean, I wish I were much taller (I’m 5’8” and the runt of my family) younger (who among us wouldn’t want that?) and much stronger with more muscle mass. Not a very feminine wish list, I know. But that’s who I am.

      However, if science suddenly caught up with science fiction (I’m specifically referring to the show “Altered Carbon” which I highly recommend) and we could move our consciousness from one body to another, including one of the opposite sex, would I try that? Especially one that is young (25-30) strong, vivacious, with all the right curves? Now THAT would be very tempting!

      Hugs, Jill

    • #684615
      Anonymous

      Hi ladies!

      I really appreciate all the answers and points of view on this question. They’re extremely interesting and insightful!

      Let me clarify one point that perhaps I did not make clear. I’m not saying that I personally have any more male priveleges than anyone else here on CDH, or have been the beneficiary of them. I don’t and I haven’t. But the fact is that as biological males, by default we do inherit some of those priveleges, whether we knowingly or willingly take advantage of them or not. And while I completely agree that alpha males are definitely NOT who I am or would want to be (see some of my other polls and articles on this topic), most times I’m honest enough with myself (which I hate being) to realize that for me, although I would love to live fulltime as a woman (and yes, I really, REALLY would), that would only be if I was single and didn’t have a family. Why? Because the impact to my life, family, friends, job, church, etc. would probably be too great for me to willingly give up. And that, ladies, is a somewhat sad observation on my part about myself, but also telling.

      But also, as you’ve all probably figured out by now, I love posting questions here that make us all think about what it means to be trans (anywhere on the spectrum) in today’s modern world. Because whether we transition or not, these are all issues we face and have to contemplate and/or consider.

      Hugs,

      Holly

      • #684622
        Gwyneth
        Lady

        Holly, I was only answering in view of my life. Being in Memphis, at least in my life span, I have seen no male privilege, nor have I witnessed any white privilege. But to your point, I would have gladly given up living male to be female. I had 2 brothers and really only one female cousin. It seemed she had privileges I could never have. Of course, she was (and is) drop dead gorgeous!

        And yes if I had been switched at birth, then I would have had the female equipment and the frustrating attempts to have some men try to fulfill my needs. Am I making sense?

    • #684720
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess

      I’m sorry Holly, I don’t see any ‘male privelege’. At least not in today’s world -maybe in pre 1960’s. Actually I see in some ways the ‘female privelege’. Women are allowed to express their sensitive sides, which I envy

      . Cassie

    • #684898
      Lola Caprice
      Baroness

      I LOVE the clothes, makeup, wigs, but for day-to-day I am happy as a male.  Never any interest in living as a woman but I respect those who have that desire.

      💕Lola

    • #684899
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador

      I can’t say I really gave up many ” Male Privileges ” as such when I came out/realized I was transfeminine.  I’ve found in my career working hotels, restaurants, and such that many of my fellow managers and the bosses were women.  So I never was directly exposed to that inequality nonsense much, thankfully.

      Myself, I was pretty much more Zeta than Alpha when it came to extorting my male privileges,lol, so I do not feel much loss.

      Stevie

       

    • #684911
      Gail
      Lady

      Hopefully I will acquire all the Female privileges which I long to have.

    • #684957

      Yes. Except for one thing. My job. I need it right now. At my work, they have hired women and they never last long as they are not treated well. I am not happy about it, but hoping in a few years that I do not need that place. Anyway, many males in this world are so fragile and toxic, I want no part of their caveman mentality and any privileges that go with it.

       

    • #684961

      It was a yes from me. It couldn’t be anything else since I already have. Since January 1995 I have lived as a woman and a housewife in every aspect of my life and my wife is in complete control of every aspect. While it was strange at first, I became completely adjusted to this role and have enjoyed it totally. For myself I can’t imagine living an anything else.

    • #685020

      Looking back, I don’t feel that being male is any sort of privelege. Yes, we might earn more but in my day were expected to pay for everything. We get to open doors, fix the car, fix the drains and wear the most boring clothes, underwear and shoes.

      Hope this doesn’t come over as sexist, because I know that there women contribute more to society than men. I would prefer to be looked after and pampered.

      Rachel

    • #685028

      A great question – but not one based on a premise that I think I could agree with.  Yes; it’s true that – historically – women have been treated appallingly, and it’s still true that they don’t receive the recognition and appreciation that they should.  But “Male Privileges”?  I’m not sure what I could currently describe in that manner.  As time has gone on, the gender gap has narrowed (but only so little and so slowly) but the matter of “privileges” has grown massively; the rich get richer and the poor get so, so, so much poorer.  Frankly, I would give up all of my male privileges (which I admit have often existed in my lifetime) in exchange for the granting of a few “Working Class” privileges – they would enhance my life (and, I suspect, that of most of the other ladies out there) far more.  Working Class women have suffered more than anyone else – and to my mind it’s clear that the biggest problem isn’t the disgraceful treatment of women (whether XX or XY!) but the horrendous treatment of the less well off in society.

      Please discuss:  sorry to be so schismatic……  Holly XXX

      • #685219
        Gwyneth
        Lady

        I remember my mom was going to cosign for a car loan I wanted when I was 17. The bank that she had been with for over 25 years turned her down because she didn’t have ANY credit rating, even though she had paid for 2 cars by then. The banker said a law had just been passed that was correcting that, but it didn’t give her a retroactive credit rating. All the family’s credit was in my dad’s name. She was one of those working-class women. I know that has been fixed by now, but that definitely was a male privilege. I don’t know how that policy could have been in place after WW2.

        Gwyn

    • #685085

      Great topic Holly, very thought-provoking! I would seriously consider it so that I could be more naturally girly and more of a girlfriend to my wonderful boyfriend. Would be a tough decision but seems like it would really be worth it for me being with a guy.

    • #685324

      This is such a good question because things are more fun when you have a choice. Overall, I wish men’s bud women had equal opportunity and that I could just be a guy who wears women’s clothing or simply just a person who wears clothing. I wish we didn’t have so many labels and such. It would be great. Love the question, very good.

    • #685493
      Molly
      Duchess

      Holly;

      Thanks for your questions, they are always interesting!.

      Male privilege is something that I do not feel I have had so much…. But many people have told me just how lucky I was to have it.   This has made me, at times, extremely angry because I didn’t want it or ask for it and quite frankly I’d have hit that magical girl button if I was ever in range of one.

      I have worked in IT and I do know that I have been taken more seriously than many cohorts… I’d like to believe that it was because my ideas were worth it, but often I wonder if it’s just because I’m allowed to “speak louder”.  To be clear it wasn’t just the women, and I honestly prefer working with the women developers, but in dark moments it worries me.

      Yes, I would give this privilege up to live as a woman.

      -Molly

    • #685765
      Mary Priscilla
      Duchess - Annual

      Holly:

      We have never met, but you do have a talent for crawling into my brain and pushing it outward. There are two parts to my response. The first has to do with “if there were no or few complications in my life” I would do it in a heartbeat. The second deals with the fact that the first response is a dream and being fully out, at least this point in my aged life, is simply not feasible.

      As I have expressed in previous responses (mostly to your posts), I love who I am when dressed and locked into my female persona. I will never abandon my desire for being dressed whenever there are opportunities to dress. Right now, I am limited when I can dress because I have to do it when not at home. The pandemic has made my desire to dress problematic for health reasons. So it goes.

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