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Hello to all the lovely ladies on CDH.
Tho I’ve been retired for over 15 years, as I move into my “dotage” and look back with pride at a successful small business career, I ponder if things would have turned out differently had I been born female.
Being a child of the 50’s and 60’s I guess if was born female, the “stereotyped” occupations back then would have had some influence on me. Nurse, fashion designer, shop assistant, “Clever Secretary”, homely housewife with 3 kids and a frilly apron, etc etc
Yes, whilst still at school I liked the idea of journalism, (See the articles I have written for CDH) and aeronautical engineering, but in the end nothing came of those two potential “female jobs”
I started work in a manufacturing business in my late teens and the “dirty hands on” work would never have lent itself to “things femme”. Nor would the freezing in winter and stinking hot in summer helped any “femme” feelings.
But having ended up as a part owner and “up in the office”, perhaps I may have allowed myself to think I would have been the “power dressed” female executive. A look I have used many times over these last few years..This would have been enhanced by a career that involved much interstate and overseas travel….Tho the idea of being the “lone female traveller” with all that entails in terms of security and eating alone in restaurants and bars would have been a drawback…
All comments and thoughts welcomed
Happy(power??!!) dressing
Caty
I have often pondered this. My answer is yes. I work in an engineering lab now. I know in my heart that if I was born female, I would be a nurse right now. I love nurturing and helping people heal.
Hi Caty Most defiantly i would of been a nurse. My Grandmother was a nurse, My mother was a nurse. My three sisters are nurses. I would of been expected to be a nurse. Its a very honorable profession that requires you to be strong during times of sadness. You are allowed to feel and express compassion, empathy while nurturing those of us who maybe sick or even dying. I do not think there is any other profession that best fits the qualities and essence of being born a female at that time. Nurses are very accepting and even invite our feminine nature at the same time they do appreciate your physical strength given to you because you were born with a male body.. They will know your heart and that is what is most important when in times of crises hit. I still believe it is a great profession for those in our community.
Luv Stephanie
Hi Caty
No, I am and will always be a nurse.
Have had to clean up, and clean off me, just about everything that can come out of a human body! Been punched, kicked, sworn at. Shapeless bland uniforms. Work 12 hour shifts, nights and weekends. Never ending scrolls of paperwork. Not the best paid job in the world.
Living the dream🤣🤣🤣 but I wouldn’t change it regardless of gender.
❤️B
Being in a design profession I do not think being female would have changed my career path but it would have changed how I look and feel doing it. Being around sophisticated and fabulously dressed design women day-to-day I have been able to see first hand sharp and trendy fashion styles. This has influenced me formulating my own style based on my professional interactions. In addition to their fashion sense I have been able to observe first hand how they present themselves as professional, smart, confident and creative. On rare occasions at office parties, professional events and galas they really shine. They go from great to AMAZING!
This topic really made me think. I am in the IT industry, but if I was born female, would I have started my path in the IT industry ? Years ago when I went to school towards IT, there was very few females in class. Over the years there are more females in the industry, but back then it was predominantly male.
I honestly don’t know where my career would be if I was born female. I think for sure my interests would be much differently and I don’t think I would have pursued a field in the IT industry at that time.
Well Caty, my honest answer is I have no idea what my career would have been if I’d been born a girl instead of a boy. For starters, the messages I got from society about what is and isn’t acceptable for me to do (and not just as a career) would have been different. Then there’s the fact that I would have seen the world with slightly different eyes. Women have to be more aware of things like personal safety than men do. That’s just one example.
Of course there are things that men have to be more aware of than women do, but I have a feeling that a lot (most?) of the GGs on this site are aware of that. That’s another reason we should be glad they’re our wives and girlfirends. (And fiancees too, of course.)
I worked in a sporting goods store for 6+ years, starting as a salesman and ending up as an assistant manager. Before anybody goes thinking that I most likely would have been a cashier at the store, one of the best assistant managers and easily the best truck driver we ever had were women. So who can say?
Thought provoking question Caty, Thanks.
My undergrad degree is in Recreation which is well populated with females. My masters degree is in Environmental Studies/Urban Planning, also a field with lots of females. So I don’t think my education path would have been any different and certainly many of the full-time jobs I’ve had are quite open to females. But definitely my summer jobs while going to university would have been different as I was in quite a few student jobs that were very much male focused. And I most likely would have faced more challenges (such as sexual discrimination) in rising up to my ultimate career position as the CEO of a $200 million organization with over 1000 employees (very few females in this role in this particular industry though the future looks bright for more females to move into this type of position). When I retired, I did recommend a female as a possible candidate to take over from me. The hiring board went a totally different way and hired a guy whose management style was out of the sixties. I heard they thought I brought too many “feminine” qualities to the position. Lots of “good old boys” in this industry who end up on the hiring boards. Sure glad the guy who was my replacement only lasted 18 months and now the new guy is more like me. All the Best, stay safe, stay healthy, Hugs, Krista
I joined the Navy in 1964, at 17 years old, in order to avoid being drafted into the Army. Vietnam was on fire at that time and I, coming from a poor family, was not likely to go to college where a deferment would keep me out of the military. The odds of going to Vietnam and making it home in one piece were not good. So, Navy it was. Following 9 years of service I joined a SoCal police department from which I retired over 16 years ago.
Were I born female the draft would not have been an issue, therefore joining the Navy would not have happened. I would also likely have remained in the Los Angeles area rather than ending up in the San Diego area following military service. So – – , my whole life would have been totally different. Most likely a typical female job, secretary, bank teller, or a grocery checker etc.
Most likely, I would have married and had kids, like most couples in those days. I remember my mom working at the Frito Lay factory. She had to wear a cute, pink striped dress, as a uniform. I admired the dress and secretly tried it on a few times.
By now I would have settled in to my role as a Grandmother, and like my lovely wife now, a cornerstone of our nuclear family. Nothing wrong with a life lived as a nurturing mother, grandmother and family cornerstone. Interestingly though, I would not realize how blessed I would be to have led that life without all the secrecy, lies, and hiding of my true feelings that have been a part of me, my whole life. Guilt is a powerful emotion and it poisons your soul. Rationalizing my desires and urges allow me to smooth the guilt factor.
I honestly do not know if I would change my life’s journey, if I had the chance. I have had a productive, meaningful life. Serving my Country, my community and providing for my family – above all, raising two wonderful daughters who have given us given us awesome grandkids.
My bride knows about Kathy and kindly allows me to underdress and to also have “Kathy time” by leaving me home alone for hours at a time so that I can be my alter-ego. Sadly,, she does not wish to see me dressed – although, she has caught a glimpse or two of Kathy, on the rare occasion when she returned home early or unannounced.
Sorry for the too long response – I guess I am just making the best out of the accident of birth that gave me two personalities. I love both of me!
Me again…
Someone mentioned flight attendant… Now there’s one I should have included. I grew up under the flight path of the old Melbourne airport and have had a life long interest in aircraft. I also spent FAR too many hours on the likes of 747’s in my business career.
So looking back if I was born female I would have loved to have been a “hostie” aka hostess..The immaculate make up and hair, the uniform.. the travel.. “all of the above”…
Especially if I ended up working for Qantas and became one the the wonderful female flight attendants who looked after me so well, in all my years of flying with them…
Other airlines…..Mostly “no comment”….
Tho “male me” will always treasure my “middle aged business man’s dream” of taking a lovely Qantas Flight attendant to lunch in London… (Spoiler alert). she had one of her flight attendant mates with her…
Also the irony that in her early 20’s my beloved applied for a “hostie” job but was rejected cos she was not tall enough.
Happy (“hostie”) dressing
Caty
Caty,
My answer is a firm Yes! I discovered in my late 40’s that I was born to be a Medic, after spending 20 years in industrial research and medical laboratories. Beck then, I would have been an ER Nurse, since Paramedics didn’t exist until much later, and I would not have been drafted and done a tour as an Army medic. Eventually got in 16 years as a USAF Flight Medic, and another 8 years as a Paramedic. Been retired 20 years now, and I still miss it.
Like many others, it is a mixed bag… i am a scientist and army combat vet (13 yrs in national guard, with a tour in Afghanistan)…
Given my love of science, I am sure that I would have still pursued that career, but I suspect that the road would have been much more fraught than it was as a man (there is still a fair amount of discrimination and harassment of women in the hard sciences). As for the army, I am sure that I would have still joined, as I did it out of patriotism (in q995) rather than a financial need (I hope this does not come out the wrong way….if you raised your hand and took the oath, you are deserving of praise… reason behind it does not matter)…but same…the journey would have been much more fraught given the high number of serial abuse/assault within the military….
So, I do not think the end results would have been dramatically different, but tge journey would have DEFINITELY more difficult
I am pretty sure my employment direction would have been a lot different if I had been born as female. My mother was a lifelong waitress, starting that when she was 16 and an unwed mother with my older sis in 1956 (The scandal just left her mom scandalized, omg. LOL.) She stuck with it though and was Lead Hostess at a couple of the more upscale restaurants here. That rubbed off on me and I have worked at different aspects of the culinary career, so I know I could have done pretty well in that direction. I’ve really never thought about what other kind of career I would have had. Judging by some of my male jobs, I did enjoy retail work a lot, and worked sales in the furniture world for a couple of years.
I have many and varied experiences in the working world and the time of college age, I was not even close to college material, except for the partying part of it, lol. I have done okay with my different jobs and am fairly comfy financially, not rolling in dough, but able to attain whatever I feel I need.
PaulaF
Like others on here, I would probably have entered the caring professios – hell, I did enter the caring professions – I would just have done so much earlier.
Then again, as arthritis runs in my family and this has devastated the females in my immediate family, it would probably have got me as well.
My aspirations would have been much different. Its perhaps a given that girls try harder at school. This would probably still have lead me to the caring professions but as a nurse. I would then have progressed to management and then probably to lecturing / education which is my current aspiration.
Then again, as I would probably have gained my education much earlier, this may have lead me towards a career in medicine – so still in the caring professions, same as now only different.
I would almost certainly have become wife and mother. Who knows if that would have turned out well given that a sizable proportion of men are absolute ba$tards to their wives. Perhaps then have become a single mother – how would that have affected my work life? Would I then have found love again and re-married? If so would that have affected my career?
There are so many questions that nobody can answer with certainty. All I can say is that without question, life would have – for better or for worse – been oh so very different and in many differing ways. Some of which may have been neither expected or welcomed.
Take care girls.
Anne-Marie
Caty, interesting question, and something that I have wondered about from time to time.
My mother had often said if she had had a girl, how much she would of loved to buy her clothes, and make her clothes too. So, I’m sure I would of been a pampered, very feminine girl, and then young woman, attractive even, perhaps. Then dealing men asking me out, instead of agonizing over asking women out! That truly was a tough thing for me.
I have an artistic bent, and worked in the pro photo biz, though I have a real mechanical aptitude as a male, would they have followed me through as a female? Who knows? My mother wasn’t at all! Even though her job during wartime was working in a factory making airplane parts. An intelligent woman, just not her talent. She never worked from the day she was married, which was the thing to do in the very early 50’s, but I know she wished she could of had a career. She was a devoted mother and housewife, which she was good at.
So perhaps I would of been doing some sales, which I’ve done from time to time in my career. I do love music, and have played many instruments from an early age, my mother was a fine singer, and my daughter is too, but she has real power in her voice, like an opera singer does. So perhaps I would of gone into music, which is something I now wish I had pursued with greater energy when I was younger. Though I am no singer! My paternal grandfather was a good writer, had much work published, and an uncle, one his sons was a newspaper man, and a truly excellent reporter and writer. He could really make you feel like you were actually there with the power of his words.
Both talents tend to run in families, so perhaps I’d have those as well. Sing on weekends, and write stories in the evenings, like I do now, for here, and a few other places, only as the real thing, like the look I try to have, a nice somewhat matronly woman.
I’m sure I would of become a mother myself, at least I’d hope for that for my femme self.
Amy
Actually in some ways female biology would has made my career, obstetrics and gynecology, easier, but i remember in my medical school class of 107 students 7 were female. Additionally in ob-gyn residency there was still some of the old surgical prejudice against women. Now today it would actually be an asset both in residency and in employment. Also the bane of my existence Charcot Marie Tooth disease type X which is six linked would not have crippled my hands ending my career. Having that second X chromosome would have helped a lot.
The reason i seem so certain that my career would not have changed is i can never remember even considering any field other than medicine. According to my parents when I was about three years old i walked into the living room where they were and announced “i am going to be a doctor.” with as much certainty as i might say “The sun is shining.” I suspect my illogic sex would have done nothing to change what seemed to me at least a destiny not a choice
The question to me is meaningless. If I were born female, I’d be a completely different person. How could I possibly predict what talents I would have had, what interests I would have had, or how that would influence you for your life? It’s like the game of dropping the ball through the array of pins. A tiny change in the initial condition can have dramatic changes in where the ball eventually ends up.
Even if my parents made love 5 minutes earlier or 5 minutes later, a different sperm might have won the race and I’d be a different person.
For the direct question “would my career have been different,” the answer would almost certainly be “yes, I’d have been a completely different person.” But to answer the question “how would my career have been different,” I would have to say “there is no basis to even begin speculating.”
It’s hard to say, really. Would I have followed my mother into teaching? Probably not, given my somewhat withdrawn nature, which would also probably have precluded retail, another traditional option. Although there are many women who excel in the job I have, inventory services, the very first step, go to a dark parking lot and get in a carload of strangers, which was scary enough for a shy 19 year old guy, probably would have killed the opportunity if I was a young woman. I might have liked to become a librarian like my step-mother, or found a job in accounting.
With my family my mom was the hardest working individual in the family. She is a Medical Laboratory Technician that brought home a large paycheck while my dad worked at a machine shop but later got laid off and at one point got on drugs. I really idolize my mother for giving me and my brother a normal childhood while dealing with my dads depression and drug issues. If I was born a woman I would most likely be doing the same thing I’m doing now, following her footsteps in getting a good education and job. Hell I’m actually doing that now by applying for mlt. A lot of the female members of my family were more successful than the male and I’m proud of that🥰
Without a doubt I would have been a secretary of some sort my mother was a secretary in the seventies and I would sit there and be envious of her and her silk dress pantyhose high heels with her legs crossed at her vanity putting on her makeup truth be told I wanted to be just like Mom so without a doubt my whole life I wished I would have been born a woman so I could have had that sort of job inside an office very clean wearing my dress in my nylons in my heels I’m going to the ladies room. Check my makeup I would have made a very good wife to some man and been the most Lady of ladies I still have dreams about it to this day but I do dress like that occasionally LOL
I work in a male dominated factory and if I would have been born female I would have been a secretary or a hairdresser but definitely a housewife.Oh it’s my dream to run the house wearing totally female clothes not like the young women nowadays they seem to dress more like men all the time.I would have been happy to be a housewife but if I had a choice of jobs it would have been a secretary
im in the plumbing and drain cleaning business so i cant imagine Vanessa would be very good at that shes much to girly lol
I really don’t know where I would be had I been born as a girl. I was not very academic, spent all of high school in shop, became an automotive machinist, then heavy duty mechanic and welder, spent time operating and repairing agricultural, forestry, and pipelining equipment . We took over my wife’s family farm with 90 cow /calf pairs. We sold the cows a few years back, rented the land, and I managed to get a job with a new company repairing hydro trucks. Somewhat slower paced. I have always worked with my hands, and mind. At a point a few years back I was considering going back to school and teaching shop at high school.
Had I been born a girl , maybe I would have been more academic, or at least have paid attention in class. I definitely would have been dressed to the hilt in feminine finery all the time, I enjoy working with people and youth… I would probably have gone into education or nursing .
I work in an office and I’ve always loved to imagine going dressed as Becky would. Nice black skirt (short enough to get the imagination going but classy 😉) black tights with enough thigh showing, boots, white blouse, dark brown hair and not to forget my sexy secretary glasses. So I think Becky would be perfect where I work xx
I work in an office and I’ve always loved to imagine going dressed as Becky would. Nice black skirt (short enough to get the imagination going but classy 😉) black tights with enough thigh showing, little ankle boots, white blouse, dark brown hair and not to forget my sexy secretary glasses. So I think Becky would be perfect where I work xx
A high kicking chorus girl,a pantyhose/tights model or an Air Hostess.
Back when I was 12 years going to church, I used to want to always hold the babies. I loved holding the babies. When I got to high school, it was a tech school, where in 9th grade you rotated through 8 different shops (career choices). I choose my shop (data processing), along with 6 female dominant careers and plumbing where as there wasn’t anymore non male shops.
I truly believe I would have completed college (became an Paramedic, as I found that I loved EMS in college), found a great husband and had a ton kids. When I was younger, I always wondered what it would have been like to be pregnant.
So today, I would be rising my grand-kids, instead of my own kids into retirement.
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