- March 3, 2021 at 7:20 am #456973Stephanie ScottParticipantRegistered On: February 8, 2021Topics: 18Replies: 246Has thanked: 706 timesBeen thanked: 1299 times
We have a lot of depth and breadth of experience here (I’m not saying you’re old, ladies!). So based on your own experiences, perspectives and wisdom give the 1 best piece of advice you would have for each of the following: (could be philosophical, could be about family/dating/relationships/marriage, could be practical — “these are the best breast forms/ make sure to get matching bra and panties,” etc):
1. Teenage CDer
2. Beginning CDer
3. Married CDer
4. Closeted CDer
5. Open CDer
Mine would be the same for all 5 categories: Pray. Pray that God would lead you down the right path, that He would make clear what you should do with this “gift” of femininity He has given you, and that you would glorify Him in all you do. But that’s just me. Curious about what all you wise ones would say to any one or all of these categories.
- March 4, 2021 at 2:34 am #457368stephanie plumbBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 146Replies: 1954Has thanked: 3114 timesBeen thanked: 8988 times
Don’t take just anyone’s advice. They all have their own agenda’s and challenges, biases, opinions and hangups.
Follow your heart, only you know what’s best for you, even if you have to learn the hard way through trial and error. Trust to your instincts. Trust your own judgement. Only you know what you like. Advice like “wear pink panties, because that’s what I like” is useless.
But if you really want good advice – go with Grace’s and you won’t go far wrong!
- March 4, 2021 at 1:57 am #457361Regine RichPrincessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 28Replies: 788Has thanked: 7787 timesBeen thanked: 3465 times
- March 4, 2021 at 12:57 am #457353Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 13Replies: 1029Has thanked: 13085 timesBeen thanked: 4060 times
It is basically the same throughout your life: 1) Be as honest with yourself as you should be with those closest to you. 2) Admit that you are a work in progress, no one is perfect. 3) Mistakes will happen, own up to them and fix what needs fixing. 4) RELAX for heavens sake, you will survive.
- March 3, 2021 at 8:48 am #457009Effie FulkDuchessRegistered On: February 7, 2021Topics: 21Replies: 540Has thanked: 1125 timesBeen thanked: 1737 times
- March 3, 2021 at 11:41 am #457056Stephanie ScottLadyRegistered On: February 8, 2021Topics: 18Replies: 246Has thanked: 706 timesBeen thanked: 1299 times
So true. The issue is never as simple as we’d like though. Are there times when we are actually protecting our spouse by not telling her? Could the truth be more ultimately damaging than the secret? Just because something is true, does that mean it MUST be revealed? Is it dishonesty by omission or instead fair to keep something that is just for you yourself even within the confines of marriage?
Not saying I have the answers, but the questions are thought-provoking anyway.
Thanks for your thoughts as always! 😊
- March 3, 2021 at 8:44 am #457007Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 52Replies: 1098Has thanked: 3815 timesBeen thanked: 5683 times
Lets have a go at this….advice…mmm.
Teenage….take your time, you have your whole life ahead of you.
Beginner….whatever size wardrobe you have, its just not big enough.
Married….be honest, if you dont tell her from day 1, it will get harder.
Closetted….be brave, take a leap of faith and try a trip out…you will never look back.
Open….grace, living the dream…no regrets….
and to all 5 categories…NEVER purge….the biggest waste of money ever, because nearly all of you will start again….
remember, these are just Scarlett suggestions….
love, grace xx
- March 3, 2021 at 8:10 am #456996Wendy SwiftLadyRegistered On: May 11, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 415Has thanked: 333 timesBeen thanked: 1754 times
For all categories, resist the urge to purge ! I’ve turfed many good articles of clothing (the top one that I regret is the 80s-90s style aerobic wear, the spandex leotard and spandex leggings). I can’t find those, and when I do the price is at a premium.
- March 4, 2021 at 1:38 am #457357
- March 3, 2021 at 11:43 am #457059LadyRegistered On: February 8, 2021Topics: 18Replies: 246Has thanked: 706 timesBeen thanked: 1299 times
Oh the Great Purge of ‘09 still haunts me — the shoes, the skirts, the dresses, the jewelry, the wig — aarrgghhh! And I think the point is that no matter the truthfulness of our conviction at the time to stop, for most, they end up returning at some point and lamenting that loss.
Thanks for your thoughts!
- March 4, 2021 at 4:55 pm #457672Beth GreenLadyRegistered On: February 24, 2021Topics: 12Replies: 177Has thanked: 629 timesBeen thanked: 892 times
I am in the process of one last great purge. I am throwing out all of the MEN’S clothes! All of the underwear went first! Ugh! Then I sorted through the socks, t-shirts, blue jeans and sweatshirts. Omg, that man kept everything no matter how ratty. I think I will keep a couple blue jeans, t-shirts and sweatshirts. Maybe someday I will want to play dress up as a boy! The Victor/Victoria thing, the woman who dresses as a man to play a drag queen. In our case, a man who dresses as a woman to pretend to be a man. Weeeeiiiird.
I am already at the point where only Beth leaves the house because he has no mens clothes to wear. That and she is in charge now and he is in the closet. She still loves her man side just as much as ever but she is the boss now.
- March 3, 2021 at 7:42 am #456986Andi DuBoisLadyRegistered On: January 7, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 69Has thanked: 86 timesBeen thanked: 282 times
My one piece of advice (which I wish I had been brave enough to follow at the time) is to be honest and open about dressing at the start of a relationship.
If they can’t accept the dressing then it gives them an opportunity to leave before things get serious. It also saves any sneaking around and potential conflict later.
- March 3, 2021 at 11:46 am #457065LadyRegistered On: February 8, 2021Topics: 18Replies: 246Has thanked: 706 timesBeen thanked: 1299 times
As I mentioned to Effie, I think you’re right but it’s still more complicated than maybe we would like to allow. Every situation and person is different, and there are some very good competing reasons and some non-dishonest reasons to decide not to tell.
Thanks for giving this some thought. Great advice!
- March 3, 2021 at 8:18 am #456998Kathleen 60454LadyRegistered On: January 8, 2020Topics: 44Replies: 413Has thanked: 2056 timesBeen thanked: 1498 times
I agree with you 💯%. Be totally honest and completely open at the beginning and all throughout the relationship and you will having less problems to deal with.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Kathleen 60454.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Kathleen 60454.
- March 3, 2021 at 7:28 am #456979GenevïéveLadyRegistered On: July 28, 2020Topics: 26Replies: 1045Has thanked: 9067 timesBeen thanked: 4301 times
Mine would be all the same also…
‘Do Not feel guilty or ashamed… dessing and being feminine is a wonderful thing. It’s not a crime, nor is it immoral…’
Embrace all that it has to offer… 🥰
Gen ❤ (57 y/o)
- March 3, 2021 at 11:48 am #457067LadyRegistered On: February 8, 2021Topics: 18Replies: 246Has thanked: 706 timesBeen thanked: 1299 times
- March 3, 2021 at 9:15 am #457016MelanieElizabethLadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 8Replies: 97Has thanked: 223 timesBeen thanked: 537 times
Your right gen. I found that being honest with myself has helped me to be honest with my s.o. The longer you wait to accept your feeling the harder it is for her to accept you. We aren’t criminals but I felt like one for years. Accepting yourself for what you are and how you feel is the key to life In my opinion.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by MelanieElizabeth.
- March 3, 2021 at 9:56 am #457033MelanieElizabethLadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 8Replies: 97Has thanked: 223 timesBeen thanked: 537 times
Sorry to reply to my self but I feel so passionate about it. I wasted many years lieing to myself about dressing. “It’s only a little fetish , just a pair of stocking that’s no big deal. I’m not one of them”. Then came heels and later a wig and makeup and then the realization maybe I always was one of them. All the while I tried to drink my feelings away. It drove a wedge between me and my family. Going threw life in denial will make you miserable, not to mention a terrible husband. I think learning about yourself and embracing it no matter what it is, is the single most important thing an individual can do.
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