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  • #456973
    Stephanie Scott
    Participant
    Registered On: February 8, 2021
    Topics: 18
    Replies: 246
    Has thanked: 706 times
    Been thanked: 1299 times

    We have a lot of depth and breadth of experience here (I’m not saying you’re old, ladies!). So based on your own experiences, perspectives and wisdom give the 1 best piece of advice you would have for each of the following: (could be philosophical, could be about family/dating/relationships/marriage, could be practical — “these are the best breast forms/ make sure to get matching bra and panties,” etc):

    1. Teenage CDer

    2.  Beginning CDer

    3. Married CDer

    4. Closeted CDer

    5. Open CDer

    Mine would be the same for all 5 categories: Pray. Pray that God would lead you down the right path, that He would make clear what you should do with this “gift” of femininity He has given you, and that you would glorify Him in all you do. But that’s just me. Curious about what all you wise ones would say to any one or all of these categories.

    God bless,

    Steph

Viewing 7 reply threads
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    Replies
    • #457368
      stephanie plumb
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 146
      Replies: 1954
      Has thanked: 3114 times
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      Don’t take just anyone’s advice. They all have their own agenda’s and challenges, biases, opinions and hangups.

      Follow your heart, only you know what’s best for you, even if you have to learn the hard way through trial and error. Trust to your instincts.  Trust your own judgement.  Only you know what you like.  Advice like “wear pink panties, because that’s what I like” is useless.

      But if you really want good advice – go with Grace’s and you won’t go far wrong!

    • #457361
      Regine Rich
      Princess
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 788
      Has thanked: 7787 times
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      Mine would be simple, but sometimes pretty hard.
      For all categories, be confident in who you are, and as Gen said, admit to yourself what you feel, and wear it well
      Regi

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #457353
      Paula F
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 1029
      Has thanked: 13085 times
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      It is basically the same throughout your life: 1)  Be as honest with yourself as you should be with those closest to you.  2)  Admit that you are a work in progress, no one is perfect.  3)  Mistakes will happen, own up to them and fix what needs fixing.  4)  RELAX for heavens sake, you will survive.

      PaulaF

    • #457009
      Effie Fulk
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 7, 2021
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 540
      Has thanked: 1125 times
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      Advice: as mentioned by some already..

      don’t be like me… that is:

      secretive about your cd’ing to your spouse…

       

      • #457056
        Stephanie Scott
        Lady
        Registered On: February 8, 2021
        Topics: 18
        Replies: 246
        Has thanked: 706 times
        Been thanked: 1299 times

        Effie,

        So true. The issue is never as simple as we’d like though. Are there times when we are actually protecting our spouse by not telling her? Could the truth be more ultimately damaging than the secret? Just because something is true, does that mean it MUST be revealed? Is it dishonesty by omission or instead fair to keep something that is just for you yourself even within the confines of marriage?

        Not saying I have the answers, but the questions are thought-provoking anyway.

        Thanks for your thoughts as always! 😊

    • #457007
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: February 16, 2021
      Topics: 52
      Replies: 1098
      Has thanked: 3815 times
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      Hello Steph…..

      Lets have a go at this….advice…mmm.

      Teenage….take your time, you have your whole life ahead of you.

      Beginner….whatever size wardrobe you have, its just not big enough.

      Married….be honest, if you dont tell her from day 1, it will get harder.

      Closetted….be brave, take a leap of faith and try a trip out…you will never look back.

      Open….grace, living the dream…no regrets….

      and to all 5 categories…NEVER purge….the biggest waste of money ever, because nearly all of you will start again….

      remember, these are just Scarlett suggestions….

      love, grace xx

       

    • #456996
      Wendy Swift
      Lady
      Registered On: May 11, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 415
      Has thanked: 333 times
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      For all categories, resist the urge to purge !  I’ve turfed many good articles of clothing (the top one that I regret is the 80s-90s style aerobic wear, the spandex leotard and spandex leggings).  I can’t find those, and when I do the price is at a premium.

       

      • #457357
        Diana Morgan
        Lady
        Registered On: February 22, 2021
        Topics: 7
        Replies: 574
        Has thanked: 4199 times
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        So, so true Wendy, when I think of the things I have purged over the years I could weep….

        3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #457059
        Stephanie Scott
        Lady
        Registered On: February 8, 2021
        Topics: 18
        Replies: 246
        Has thanked: 706 times
        Been thanked: 1299 times

        Wendy,

        Oh the Great Purge of ‘09 still haunts me — the shoes, the skirts, the dresses, the jewelry, the wig — aarrgghhh! And I think the point is that no matter the truthfulness of our conviction at the time to stop, for most, they end up returning at some point and lamenting that loss.

        Thanks for your thoughts!

        5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #457672
          Beth Green
          Lady
          Registered On: February 24, 2021
          Topics: 12
          Replies: 177
          Has thanked: 629 times
          Been thanked: 892 times

          I am in the process of one last great purge. I am throwing out all of the MEN’S clothes! All of the underwear went first! Ugh! Then I sorted through the socks, t-shirts, blue jeans and sweatshirts. Omg, that man kept everything no matter how ratty. I think I will keep a couple blue jeans, t-shirts and sweatshirts. Maybe someday I will want to play dress up as a boy! The Victor/Victoria thing, the woman who dresses as a man to play a drag queen. In our case, a man who dresses as a woman to pretend to be a man. Weeeeiiiird.

          I am already at the point where only Beth leaves the house because he has no mens clothes to wear. That and she is in charge now and he is in the closet. She still loves her man side just as much as ever but she is the boss now.

          😜👿❤

          Beth

          3 users thanked author for this post.
          • #457676
            Diana Morgan
            Lady
            Registered On: February 22, 2021
            Topics: 7
            Replies: 574
            Has thanked: 4199 times
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            Sounds like the “Mother of all purges” Beth, I love that you are embracing the feminine you and only letting ‘him’ out on your terms. I’d say go for it but you already have.

            💋 Diana 💋

            2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #456986
      Andi DuBois
      Lady
      Registered On: January 7, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 69
      Has thanked: 86 times
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      My one piece of advice (which I wish I had been brave enough to follow at the time) is to be honest and open about dressing at the start of a relationship.

      If they can’t accept the dressing then it gives them an opportunity to leave before things get serious.  It also saves any sneaking around and potential conflict later.

      -A.

    • #456979
      Genevïéve
      Lady
      Registered On: July 28, 2020
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 1045
      Has thanked: 9067 times
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      Mine would be all the same also…

      ‘Do Not feel guilty or ashamed… dessing and being feminine is a wonderful thing. It’s not a crime, nor is it immoral…’

      Embrace all that it has to offer… 🥰

      Love,

      Gen ❤   (57 y/o)

      • #457067
        Stephanie Scott
        Lady
        Registered On: February 8, 2021
        Topics: 18
        Replies: 246
        Has thanked: 706 times
        Been thanked: 1299 times

        Gen,

        Really basic but profound. Don’t fight the gift but rather figure out how to incorporate it into your life in a positive meaningful way that doesn’t do damage to your conscience. Great message; thank you!

        4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #457016
        MelanieElizabeth
        Lady
        Registered On: January 9, 2021
        Topics: 8
        Replies: 97
        Has thanked: 223 times
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        Your right gen. I found that being honest with myself has helped me to be honest with my s.o. The longer you wait to accept your feeling the harder it is for her to accept you. We aren’t criminals but I felt like one for years. Accepting yourself for what you are and how you feel is the key to life In my opinion.

        5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #457033
          MelanieElizabeth
          Lady
          Registered On: January 9, 2021
          Topics: 8
          Replies: 97
          Has thanked: 223 times
          Been thanked: 537 times

          Sorry to reply to my self but I feel so passionate about it. I wasted many years lieing to myself about dressing. “It’s only a little fetish , just a pair of stocking that’s no big deal. I’m not one of them”. Then came heels and later a wig and makeup and then  the realization maybe I always was one of them. All the while I tried to drink my feelings away. It drove a wedge between me and my family. Going threw life in denial will make you miserable, not to mention a terrible husband. I think learning about yourself and embracing it no matter what it is, is the single most important thing an individual can do.

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