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  • #626401
    Michelle Poche’
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    Registered On: March 3, 2022
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    Now I know a lot of us say our journeys began dressing in our mom’s clothes etc. but are there any of you out there who’s lifestyle spawned out of something else?

    Get ready for a chuckle…. As I am going all the way back to my origin here.

    It just have been 4th or 5th grade when I began paying attention to sensation in my man parts.  My earliest memory of arousal is that of watching a Boo Berry cereal commercial (does anyone recall that cereal?).  I really didn’t have access to lady clothes at the time, so I can’t recall a connection at this point

    Fastforward a couple of years and Olivia Newton John’s “Let’s Get Physical” single and music video release.  Ooooh my those leotards.  Super arousing.  Heck, just thinking of the song playing is doing a little something to me as I write…

    It wasn’t until I discovered the ladies’ underwear section of the old Sears printed catalogs that my attraction (and arousal) peaked on the sight of ladies in their bras, panties and hosiery.  Both of my grandmothers’ undie drawers were treasure troves to me.  I would rob them each time I would go to visit and and things to my super secret hidden collection I kept.

    As I aged, I was introduced to soft core bondage, or the damsel in distress variety.  I always wanted to be that tied up damsel dressed in vintage ladies undies and pantyhose.  I got pretty good at tying myself up and imagining I was a gal being held captive by soft nefarious character.

    Once I got married, these things played into that relationship.  My first wife like us to have sex with me wearing bra and those water balloons I mentioned in a previous post.  But as marriages do, that ended.  The dressing and fetish got put on hiatus.  I was in the Army and just didn’t have time anymore.  Then I got remarried for over a decade to a woman that wasn’t having any sort of that behavior.  What a drag right? (no pun)

    Another two divorces later and I live single.  The fetish lifestyle sort of played its course out as fas a a sexual release sort of thing.  I do self ties now as a means of meditative relaxation when I’m overly stressed.  I cannot overstate how beneficial it has been for me.

    I have begun crossdressing more and more in my home as that is my safe space where the male me can disappear and Michelle can take over.  I know it kind of sounds like multiple personalities… maybe it is.  But I’m happy.

    I really want to get good at doing my eye make up because the eyes make the look in my opinion.  Like I said, I don’t find myself to attractive as a woman from the neck down but I am getting old I suppose.  That twenty something look is long gone.

    Anyway, that’s my walk… so far.  What’s yours?

     

     

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    • #638312
      Wendy Swift
      Lady
      Registered On: May 11, 2020
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      Oh my, where do i even begin ??

      I’ll try to start at the very earliest but being old my memory isn’t what is used to be :

      I remember in kindergarten (or grade 1 ?), our class would go to the pool as a field trip.  I never had my own swimming trunks, and used the pool’s.  This was back in the day when pools has swimming trunks/suits for rent, not anymore due to people’s “ick” factor on wearing used swimsuits.  But I digress.

      Everytime we went they always had boys’ trunks for me to wear.  One day they didn’t.  They only had a girls’ one piece swimsuit.  Being small, I didn’t care so I just wore it.  There I was in the shallow end splashing around and playing in a girl’s one piece swimsuit.  I don’t recall anyone pointing and laughing, they just walked by to make sure I wasn’t like floating face down in the water.

      I think that is one reason I love womens’ swimwear, especially the racing kind.  It would also explain why I have over 115+ womens’ swimsuits in my collection.

      I remember I was a latch key kid.  After school I would go home, take a bath, and then watch tv waiting for my parents to come home from work.  In the bathroom, my mom would wash her panties and leave it hanging to dry on a hanger.  Everytime I took I bath I would look at it, then I touched it and wondered why women’s underwear had a smoother softer feel to it them guys.  One day, curiousity got the best of me and I wore it.  So there I was, in my mom’s panties in the living room watching TV.  All of a sudden i hear the front door unlock, I quickly took off the panties, threw them into a corner of the coffee table so it was out of sight, and wore my tightie whities.  My dad asked why I was sitting my underwear, all I could say was it was more comfortable.

      That would explain why today I find panties a staple in my transformation to Wendy.  My mom wore granny pantie style and to this day most in my collection are granny pantie style, with a few hi cut panties.

      It was during december and the school held their annual christmas play.  The teacher gave me the lead role but I couldn’t remember the lines so I got demoted to a support role (elf).  One of the clothing requirements for the role was tights (or leotards they were called back then).  Being a small kid, I had no clue what tights were.  One girl piped up and said she had tights she could lend us to wear for the play.

      I remember it was me, another boy, and the girl that played the elf parts and wore the tights.  I also remember right after the play, I ran back to our home room and changed out of the tights as fast as I could because they were deemd “girls clothes”.  Ha !!  If I only knew back them how it would shape my CDing journey.

      To this day, and I think it had to do with that play, tights are an integral part of my clothing choice in transforming to Wendy.

      There are other incidents in my childhood that shaped my CDing it is today, but I think those 3 stand out for me.

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

    • #638150
      Lacy Williams
      Lady
      Registered On: December 23, 2020
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      I guess my story is not much different than most. I wore my mother’s underthings in secret. I found them in the bathroom or hamper and there was the occasional pantyhose hung over the shower curtain to dry. I know I left the hose slightly stretched with the impression of my leg shape and wonder if my mother ever suspected.

      Once I put on one of her stretchy panties, more like a very light girdle, with a crinkly stretchy material and clips to attach her hose. I wore them under my shorts and it gave me an erection. I went outside to play and enjoyed the feeling of wearing them but eventually had to go back inside and take them off.

      I love the stories here of having sisters that dress you or give you some clothing to wear. I wish I had that. But I didn’t. Instead I had lots of friends who were girls who visited our house all the time. School and church was our connection, and one of the older girls drove a car that was our ride to and from school sometimes. Their mother and my mother were close friends.

      I remember once they had taken off their dresses after school and changed into shorts or jeans or whatever to play. (We were all in upper grades of grammar school.) Somehow the idea came about to have my brother and me try on their dresses. We did over our clothes and for a brief time it was funny, but did not get repeated. Except once when we were at their house, we tried on formal gowns. But again it was over our clothes so it was fun but not as satisfying as I wanted it to be. I imagined wearing bra and panties, a slip, hose and shoes with the dress.

      I had the opportunity to occasionally borrow panties and slips from their clothes hamper and wear them a few days, returning them discreetly later. And once I was able to obtain some discarded items from a girls locker room at a local high school just after school broke for summer. It was a girdle, bra, and half slip that I treasured for maybe a year or so.

      I had a paper route during my first two years of high school and all my customers lived in apartment buildings. These buildings were very similar to motels built to two stories with courtyards and second floor walkways. It was Florida. They had washrooms with coin operated washers and dryers and clothes lines set up between buildings. It was there I discovered I could find lacy things to borrow. And I did! A lot. Never got caught fortunately.

      I always got an erection when I out on lingerie but I did not masturbate though it did feel good to let my erection slide back and forth against the nylon fabric of my panties or slip. Once when I was doing this, I felt this sudden feeling like I was going to cum. I did not call it that, but I knew what it was though I had never had one. I felt like I had to prevent it, so I quickly pulled the panties away from my hardness and tried to relax, and the feeling went away.

      Once when we were having visitors from out of town who had a cat, I was sent across the street to sleep at a neighbors house because I was very allergic. The neighbors were away, and I raided the mothers lingerie drawer. She had this (to me) beautiful, very feminine white nylon nightie that I decided to wear to sleep in. What a wonderful feeling. Putting it on immediately gave me an erection, but as usual I tried to stay calm and not ejaculate. I would ooze precum quite a bit though. I dozed off to sleep, and then found that the feeling of waking up knowing that I was wearing a pretty nightie was a fabulous feeling! Of course it would cause an erection that I would try to relax and keep from getting excited.

      But here’s the thing. I didn’t have to do anything to cause the erection. Just thinking about the lingerie caused it. Then putting it on kept me hard. Relaxing and trying to think about anything else would help and cause it to relax somewhat. But then thinking again about the pretty gown and panties would bring it back. So getting to sleep was a challenge. And every time I woke back up it was such a sweet feeling!

      The next morning, returning home was the hardest thing for me. Any time I spent during those years wearing lingerie in private was sweet and the hardest thing was ending it. Taking off the slip and panties would make me have the urge to out them back on just one more time. And much time was spent putting on a slip and enjoying it, then taking it off and putting another one on, and doing the same thing with panties.

      So I had to take off this nightgown and replace it where I found it and put on my own clothes and go back across the street. Unfortunately I left a precum stain on the front of the nightgown and I never found out what might have happened when she discovered it. I wish I had just taken the gown and kept it.

      I hope this was not too explicit. But it was my experience. I will tell you more in other posts. For now this one is getting long.

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    • #634747
      Susan Zed
      Lady
      Registered On: May 16, 2019
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      Hi Michelle

      I think I have told my cross-dressing origin tale on here before but as I love recalling it I am more than happy to tell it again :-).

       

      It kind of happened in two seperate incidents the first was when I was about five or six and my parents were breaking up, not that I knew that then. My Mum insisted that I slept with her and my Dad, presumably to ensure he was seperated from her during the night – I like it because who doesn’t want to be with their parents at that age. Anyway, I was sent to bed much earlier than they went to bed and it was a summer evening and it was light and I couldn’t sleep. I was just playing around on the bed and looking under it I found a bag of my Mum’s panties. The bag was clear so I could see all the lovely coloured knickers clearly. Out of curiosity and boredom I pulled the bag onto the bed, slipped off my pj bottoms and choose a lovely silky and soft flowery pair which I put on. I remember jumping on the bed and enjoying the feel and look of them and thought I should sleep in them, but realised that my Mum might be angry with me so took them off. I didn’t dress again for a few years after that but did think of them sometimes.

      Fast forward a few years and my Mum has remarried and the guy is a total crazy, paranoid nasty idiot. He is so jealous of people talking to my Mum that he cuts us off from the world and apart from school we aren’t allowed to see anyone, not even friends outside of the school day. This leads to myself and my Sister who was near to me in age and our baby Sister spending all our summer holidays and weekends together. One day my Mum and Stepfather go out and my Sister and I are left to babysit. I must have been around 11 or 12 and my Sister suggests I try on her party dress – why not I think. I put on the dress and my Sister suggests a pair of her knickers too and I put them on, they were purple like the dress. She finished the look with a pair of her school knee length white socks. It felt nice enough but as we played running around the house the sensation of the cool air going up the dress to my panties was wonderful and I had never felt anything like that. I wanted to keep the outfit on but my Sister warned me that our parents would be angry – they were angry about everything it seemed. I took it off but was desperate to feel that sensation again.

      I waited for a few days and engineered that I borrowed my Sister’s knickers again, with some lame excuse that I didn’t have any clean ones of my own and my Sister was more than happy to help me. I then explained how much I loved wearing her clothes and whenever my parents were out she would dress me in her skirts and dresses. To be honest by now my body was reacting to the sensation of the clothes in a way I didn’t at first understand and it also fascinated my Sister I think as she seemed to like seeing me become aroused – well it was a strange thing to see happening.  We began to get bolder and she encouraged me to sneak into my Mum’s room when they were out and slip into her blouses, skirts and dresses and that was really scarey as I thought that woman could see into my soul. I remember once my Sister showed me my Mum’s most intimate drawer and encouraged me to slip on a black bra and panties, suspenders and stockings whilst she also dressed in a similar way. That scared me for ages afterwards as I was sure I had left evidence on the material of the panties. Anyway, after that as we grew older and my Stepfather left the scene we stopped those games although years later she spoke about it in a pub when I was staying with her and afterwards she dressed me again and even gave me one of her nighties and matching knickers to sleep in and take home. I am so glad that she still understood and supported me.

      Susan

      • This reply was modified 2 months ago by Susan Zed.
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      • #638333
        Krissy
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        Registered On: June 4, 2021
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        I was really influenced in the 80s by the likes of boy George Bowie and the whole new romantic scene, I can remember watching top of the pops and seeing what I thought at the time was a woman only to be told the next day at school that no that is a man? I was stunned,intrigued and in love with the whole look ( secretly at first) at the time I’d just been wearing tights, but from then on I started going a little further trying on bras and knickers, shaving my legs and wearing a little bit of eyeliner. From then on I knew this was the life for me! I was so much happier when I presented as a woman and I took every advantage to dress so as id always go to fancy dress parties as a glamorous woman and I’d not want to dress as a male at all as I liked how I looked and friends would say ” jeez you make a great woman if I didn’t know you I’d chat you up and take you for drinks! So I knew I had to push forward and even thought about having the op! But then I met someone and fell in love ( still secretly dressed though) and from then till now I’ve not stopped and I’ve slowly become more femme and I still think one day I’ll make the change permanently in the future as its something I need to do as never felt so happy 😊

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    • #634729
      Terri
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 17, 2016
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      Years ago when I was in my 30s I almost committed suicide. I saw a psychologist for a few months. She gave me a lot of insight of why I dressed. But it didn’t change anything regarding my need to dress. My keyword in my life is balance. I know my wife will never have anything to do with my femme side. I have accepted that. So many of us look for answers to questions that will probably not change anything.

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    • #634710
      Iris Shine
      Lady
      Registered On: March 8, 2022
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      Mine started as a game with my older sister. Basically I was her game and she was dressing me up as her little sister. And I loved that game!
      Don’t remember when it started but I know it stopped when I was about 9 or 10.

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    • #634705
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
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      I knew I was different at the age of four. When we are born they look at our anatomy and place us in whatever box seems appropriate. “It’s a boy, place him in the boy box, it’s a girl, she goes into the girl box.” I was always looking out over the edge at the girl box knowing I was supposed to be over there. I recall at the age of six, standing in front of the full length, wearing one of my mom’s bra’s with my male parts tucked between my legs and wishing that was the real me. So it progressed over the years, getting into my mom’s clothes, and eventually I would dress completely whenever my parents were away. There were many interesting opportunities to dress over the years, Halloween, costume parties, school plays. The fact that I liked to dress as a girl didn’t go unnoticed, along with my natural feminine tendencies, so I was teased and bullied quite a lot in school. When I left home and got my own place at 19 things really progressed and I acquired my own feminine wardrobe. Today, I have the full realization that I am, and always have been, a Transgender woman.

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    • #634145
      Auroras Livingfem
      Lady
      Registered On: May 22, 2020
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      I had dreams of dressing like a girl as young as 3 or 4 years old, basically ever since I can remember. I wore my moms pantyhose and slips every chance I got. Spent a lot of time in my moms drwawers and her private bathroom in those early years.

      But I also knew I had to keep my behaviour and urges a secret because I had 1 older sister and 3 older brothers. Becsuse I was the youngest boy I got picked on all the time. I knew if my brothers ever found out they would never let it go.

      I remember 1 time my sister had a couple of friends over and they ended up leaving for a while. For some reason they left their shoes amd their very girly knee hi socks behind. Since it was only myself and my mom left at home I decided to take their knee hies to wear under my clothes. When they came back they looked everywhere for their socks and  I meant to.put them back but they returned before I had a chance so I hid them in my dtawer.

      Unfortunately somebody found them hidden in my drawer the next morning and brought them out to the breakfast table and told everyone that I had them.  I remember feeling mortified as they all started laughing at me and teasing me. I stayed in the closet but continued secretely wearing pantyhose until I movrd out at 18.

      Ive been divorced twice even though I fully disclosed my feelings to my wives before I married either of them. But neither one of them accepted my dressing  so I was forced to live in the closet.  They both used their knowledge of my feelings as a weapon against me.  They would use derogatory terms and threaten to out me to my friends and family whenever we would argue or have a disagreement.  Suffice to say I have remained single ever since the 2nd divorce.

      The 2nd marriage wasnt a complete waste though as we created 2 beautiful children before the divorce.  I ended up raising them on my own as a single dad because  my wife turned to drugs and was unfit to care for my  daughter and  son. As a  result I kept my feelings to myself for the past 20 years.

       

      I’m not gay and  I still like women to this day but my ability to ever trust somebody again has been ruined.

       

      I have never understood why I have  had this need to cross dress all my life but I have decided to accept it and stop feeling guilty for being who I am.  My kids are grown now and its time for me to start living for myself for once in my life.  I want to experience what its like to present as female in public and hopefully be passable.  That is why I joined this site.  I Have a lot to learn and Im trying to muster the courage to reach out and hopefully make some friends here who can help me on my journey.

      Thanks for listening.

       

      Julie Spolen welcome to this wonderful site hope you find learning experience with stories of your new family
      Auroras L

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    • #633757
      Anonymous
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      I always felt like a girl inside as long as I can remember. I couldn’t express it in my family. I remember playing outside with my fiends during the summer. We put balloons filled with water in our t-shirts to look like we had boobs. Vision of the future? I was too scared to wear any of my mother’s clothes. But I did look at department store catalogs. I used the excuse that I was looking at toys, but would find myself admiring the women’s underwear and lingerie. Later in life I had an apartment, someone had moved out but left a box behind. There was a slip and a wig in the box. I tried them on. These feelings have always been there, until a few years back when I was going thru some serious self introspection. I often have these feelings about my life that I “missed the train.” I guess that you could say that I came out to myself. I have a small collection of clothes and makeup. Trying to figure out what my future will look like.

    • #633678
      Rachel Williams
      Lady
      Registered On: June 16, 2019
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      I first started becoming curious about women’s clothing and high heels about the age of 11.  It started with my mom’s pantyhose.  Soon, I started wearing her high heels with the pantyhose.  Eventually, it went all the way to wearing her dresses.  Now, after getting over much guilt, I’m comfortable with going out as Rachel, full makeup and all.

    • #632423
      Joanna Bumble
      Lady
      Registered On: March 6, 2022
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      So many nice stories,

      My first foray is one of two events, they happened around the same age I think, sub 10 for sure.

      Visiting a family friend whose daughter was a similar age, we used to visit every fortnight or so. One Saturday morning the daughter Steph (illustrative purposes only) was playing dress up out of her costume box and said I could try stuff on too, so I did, went downstairs to show the mums and got a chuckle out of them and asked us to do a runway walk.

      The other time was playing with the kids, (two girls, one slightly older one slightly younger), across the road at their place, was really nice day and they had the paddling pool out, I said I’d nip and get my shorts but the girls and their mum said that I could just wear one of the girls’ swimsuits, she was quite insistent too. So I put on this bright pink my little pony swimsuit and went and played in the garden, the girls said it looked great on me.

      After we had played tag or something we were dried out, the mum wanted to walk down to the pub so we could play on the beer garden play area. I was starting to take off the suit when the girls said to just put your clothes over the top and let’s go, so guess what… I did.

      When we got onto the beer garden both girls whispered to me that the suit was our secret and to tuck my t-shirt in so no one would see, we had a wail of a time playing with the other kids.

       

      I can’t remember which was first but the latter definitely started me off on the love of swimsuits, I’ve collected quite a few so far,  double digits…. so nice just to wear nevermind in the hottub or shower. Xx

    • #628171
      Julie Spoule
      Registered On: May 21, 2021
      Topics: 1
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      I had dreams of dressing like a girl as young as 3 or 4 years old, basically ever since I can remember. I wore my moms pantyhose and slips every chance I got. Spent a lot of time in my moms drwawers and her private bathroom in those early years.

      But I also knew I had to keep my behaviour and urges a secret because I had 1 older sister and 3 older brothers. Becsuse I was the youngest boy I got picked on all the time. I knew if my brothers ever found out they would never let it go.

      I remember 1 time my sister had a couple of friends over and they ended up leaving for a while. For some reason they left their shoes amd their very girly knee hi socks behind. Since it was only myself and my mom left at home I decided to take their knee hies to wear under my clothes. When they came back they looked everywhere for their socks and  I meant to.put them back but they returned before I had a chance so I hid them in my dtawer.

      Unfortunately somebody found them hidden in my drawer the next morning and brought them out to the breakfast table and told everyone that I had them.  I remember feeling mortified as they all started laughing at me and teasing me. I stayed in the closet but continued secretely wearing pantyhose until I movrd out at 18.

      Ive been divorced twice even though I fully disclosed my feelings to my wives before I married either of them. But neither one of them accepted my dressing  so I was forced to live in the closet.  They both used their knowledge of my feelings as a weapon against me.  They would use derogatory terms and threaten to out me to my friends and family whenever we would argue or have a disagreement.  Suffice to say I have remained single ever since the 2nd divorce.

      The 2nd marriage wasnt a complete waste though as we created 2 beautiful children before the divorce.  I ended up raising them on my own as a single dad because  my wife turned to drugs and was unfit to care for my  daughter and  son. As a  result I kept my feelings to myself for the past 20 years.

       

      I’m not gay and  I still like women to this day but my ability to ever trust somebody again has been ruined.

       

      I have never understood why I have  had this need to cross dress all my life but I have decided to accept it and stop feeling guilty for being who I am.  My kids are grown now and its time for me to start living for myself for once in my life.  I want to experience what its like to present as female in public and hopefully be passable.  That is why I joined this site.  I Have a lot to learn and Im trying to muster the courage to reach out and hopefully make some friends here who can help me on my journey.

      Thanks for listening.

       

      • #632427
        Carmen Cruz
        Lady
        Registered On: September 12, 2021
        Topics: 27
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        It’s the trust part that is difficult to get over. Some stay single and continue working on themselves, and that really is the only path in my opinion. Can’t have a decent relationship without trust (both parties). Any trust issues unresolved will just end badly in a new relationship, since the new relationship isn’t starting on the right foot to begin with. Some tend to think that the trust issue can be resolved by bringing someone else into their life as a “solution”, and in the longshot of a perfect pairing between two people it may work for a bit, but the chances are real slim.

        I’d love to find a “lifetime” disney movie worthy relationship, but like you, I’ve chosen to remain single at this time in my life, and just enjoying the flexibility and ability and time to really get to know who I am and strengthen everything I’ve learned along the way.

    • #627915
      Patrick Read
      Registered On: July 3, 2021
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      Im not really sure why i started. I guess it was seeing pretty girls at school, and then trying in panties, dresses, etc.then liking how they looked and felt. I dressed several times for my ex wife , but she was never really into it, so that maybe one of the reasons that didnt work. A few more of my exes know about my dressing , but again , intesterest wasnt as mutual. Did let a few of them have fun with me. My dream is to be with someone who accepts it and loves my male and fem side.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #627886
      Michelle Skylar
      Lady
      Registered On: March 18, 2021
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      I also don’t have any childhood memories of wearing or wanting to wear girl’s clothing. My desire to do so didn’t start until about three years ago. At first, I just bought some panties and lingerie. Then came my first dress. The first time I wore it and looked in the mirror I knew I had to go all in. So, I bought a bra, forms, shaper, pantyhose, heels and makeup. The only thing I didn’t buy was a wig because I had been letting my hair grow and it was well past my shoulders by then. My first time fully dressed was magical, I felt like a different person. I took a ton of pics and stared at them for days, the makeup needed work, a lot of work. Then came more dresses and more pics. I loved doing this, but I didn’t understand why so late in life.

      About a year ago by chance I found CDH and decided to join to see if I could make any sense of what I was doing. I read a lot of threads just like this one and there seemed to be a majority that had a desire to wear girl’s clothes at a young age. This wasn’t me so I started trying to remember what childhood memories I did have related to girls and wanting to be like one. I think it may have been their hair. When I was little I had a butch haircut, basically a buzz cut with a tuft of hair in the front. I was given a jar of orange wax and taught how to comb it straight up. I hated it, the smell the sticky jar the sticky comb, I just wanted normal hair. Later on I was allowed to have a regular boys haircut and was given oils and cream to comb into my hair. I hated these greasy smelly products as well and just wanted to have nice hair. I was finally able to let my hair grow out in my late teens.

      I have worn my hair both long and short since then. I would let it grow out and then have to cut it for a new job or promotion until now. There are no more jobs or promotions so I can finally keep it as long as I want. So, is my hair my connection to my feminine side? I don’t know, maybe or at least a part of it. I think there are some emotions in there as well but that would probably take a professional to unravel.

      What I do know is this place and all of you have helped me better understand myself and be at peace and also know that I am not alone.

    • #627852
      Ashley Grant
      Lady
      Registered On: January 29, 2022
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 4
      Has thanked: 50 times
      Been thanked: 101 times

      i was always fascinated with wearing skirts, dresses etc. wanting to wear some to see how it fits, but i never started actually wearing any till recently.

    • #626901
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 860
      Has thanked: 19042 times
      Been thanked: 3062 times

      Hi Michelle,

      For me there are no childhood memories of dressing. Other than once trying on one of my wife’s skirts in my 30’s, once when I was home alone and bored (and just feeling silly in it) there was nothing.
      Then fast forward over 20 years later I saw some skirts in adds while shopping on Amazon. I suddenly had to have a denim mini skirt I saw. That lead to a few dresses, and then heels. Oh the heels! Of course  nothing looks good if you don’t fill out your top, so I got a few bras, after some careful measuring. I also got a couple breast forms and a wig. Since joining CDH last fall, I have discovered the thrill of panties, stockings, and pantyhose through forums, and conversations with the lovely ladies here. I feel like I’m making up for lost time!

      I just don’t know how to come out to my wife of almost 38 years. She hates heels and was always a conservative dresser. I just can’t see it going well.

      Ehh, the closet is pretty comfortable…

      💕Lara

      • #626949
        Michaela Anthony
        Lady
        Registered On: December 29, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 216
        Has thanked: 796 times
        Been thanked: 964 times

        My Lara you were certainly a late bloomer!  Coming fullu out to my wife was just about the best thing to ever happen in my life, I so wish that for all the sisters here.  I guess you’ll never know unless you try but it has to feel like the right thing for each person. Hang in there Sweetie and keep on keepin’ on (as they used to say in the good ‘ol ‘70’s). 🙂

        *** Kayla ***

        • #626999
          Lara Tucker
          Lady
          Registered On: September 29, 2021
          Topics: 2
          Replies: 860
          Has thanked: 19042 times
          Been thanked: 3062 times

          Thanks Kayla!

          Late Bloomer has been used to describe me by more than a few people at different phases of my life. Why stop now?!😉

          Oh there were some good times back in the 70’s… ❤️

          5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #626924
        Gwyneth
        Lady
        Registered On: January 21, 2021
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 224
        Has thanked: 1447 times
        Been thanked: 851 times

        I’ve been very comfortable in the closet for about 15 years.

        Edit: that’s not entirely true!

        • This reply was modified 4 months ago by Gwyneth.
        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #626900
      Miss Lollipop
      Lady
      Registered On: February 5, 2022
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 166
      Has thanked: 95 times
      Been thanked: 510 times

      I don’t remember what age I was, I was S.M.A.L.L !!! – but my sister got a pair of gold high-heel kid-shoes, and I got try them on and was mesmerized..- hypnotized – by that… I just wanted to have them on ALL the time. Much to the rest of the family’s dismay. It was also an Oliva Newton-John thing, they were supposed to be like ones she had in that Grease movie I was scarred with as a youngster. I can’t even confirm or deny because I will never watch that film again. (Long story, tormenting..)

      Anyway, I cried whenever they were taken away from me. I remember being really damaged by that…

      Now, I’m …here…

      & there we go.

      x Lolli x

    • #626894
      Dee Nash
      Lady
      Registered On: November 7, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 254
      Has thanked: 1612 times
      Been thanked: 1074 times

      Did not know i had a fem side to me untill september last year i had no interest in girls clothes,though i always liked clothes,and then BANG went total fem x

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #626775
      Dawn Scarlet
      Lady
      Registered On: February 25, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 2
      Has thanked: 20 times
      Been thanked: 41 times

      My fascination with crossdressing  Is unlike most it started when I was 22   Which is almost 8 years ago.  I had left work that faitful day and went straight to my then girlfriend now wifes house that day it turned out that I had forgotten my underwear but still wanted to shower. I told her and was going to just go commando but she looked at me and said why don’t you just wear a pair of mine, I said sure why not so when I went to her room to change she gave me the panties I put them on and Remember distinctly how soft they were and how cute they made me feel and her reaction on how she loved them on me. From day forward I couldn’t stop from wanting to wear panties witch evolved to wearing dresses and all females clothing.

    • #626769
      Sandra Lasco
      Lady
      Registered On: January 30, 2022
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 53
      Has thanked: 249 times
      Been thanked: 235 times

      Hi Michelle,
      I started out quite early trying on my mother’s clothes and shoes. I became more aware of my desire to look like other girls when I was around 10 years but always had to remain in the closet. Not exactly understanding myself really why I wished so much presenting as female it became even stronger throughout my teens when I ventured out age 15 for the first time fully dressed. It provided me a very profound sense of happiness and liberation, feeling fulfilled and empowered. I then repeated it and then dressed extensively during my time as a college student. I was lucky in the sense that I naturally developed little breasts which helped me feeling more confident further solidifying the female side of my gender identity. I stopped dressing when I lived with a woman because she was simply to dismissive and conservative, in other words non-accepting. It hurt me a lot. Now that I mostly live alone again, I fully live out my dream to present as an elegantly dressed woman, not that much standing out than blending in when I am out in public.
      Love, Sandra

    • #626750
      Michelle Poche’
      Lady
      Registered On: March 3, 2022
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 12
      Has thanked: 12 times
      Been thanked: 134 times

      I”ve enjoyed reading all of your stories here… it is so nice to know that I am not alone and wasn’t the only weird kid growing up.

       

      No offense if that is a trigger for anyone.

    • #626732
      sarasue olson
      Lady
      Registered On: October 7, 2018
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 257
      Has thanked: 1059 times
      Been thanked: 1437 times

      When I was about twelve I started to notice the girls wore much nicer clothes then us boys although I had not thought about dressing up in the things that girls wore. At fourteen my older sister started wearing nylon panties and nightgowns, i was curious to see how they felt and my sister and I shared the same bathroom and laundry hamper so one night I saw her lacey nylon panties in our hamper I took them into my hands and liked the softness and feel of them and then put them back to wear I found them. A couple weeks later I found one of her nylon nightgowns in the hamper and took it out to look it over I was holding it up when the bathroom door opened and my sister caught me holding her nighty. She wasn’t angry but instead offered to let me sleep in her nighty and panties, at first I didn’t know what to think but took her up on her offer and had the best experience of my life. In the morning she asked if I had enjoyed what I wore to bed, I told her it was fantastic, she asked me if I had worn any of her things before, I answered no I  hadn’t. She said that she was glad I hadn’t because wearing other peoples things without permission was not right. I found out later that my dad and uncle were both crossdressers and mom went along with it, so I never had the guilt and shame so many had, and never had to raid my sisters of moms panty drawers. My life has been good and my wife loves me dressed up she says we share A closeness that few couples have ever found. Life is good and I am proud to call myself A crossdresser.

      • #634153
        MelanieElizabeth
        Lady
        Registered On: January 9, 2021
        Topics: 19
        Replies: 246
        Has thanked: 704 times
        Been thanked: 1485 times

        So happy for you Sara sue and more than a little jealous! Enjoy being you!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #626720
      Jaime Pleat
      Lady
      Registered On: January 23, 2022
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 95
      Has thanked: 470 times
      Been thanked: 378 times

      Hi !! Thank you Michelle for creating this Forum.
      For myself, I think that I was born with this added dimension and closing into my late 60s, the journey was worth every minute. Though all these years in the closet, a father and loyal husband, and Jaime, all are dimensions of a complex life well lived.
      Though Jaime was there I believe all along, the name was just an invention for secrecy sake. If this was in our twin universe, there would be no concepts like CD or a thousand other things we all could think of…but back to earth.
      Jaime woke up around the age of 5 maybe 6. There were no epiphanies for me like most of us, but it was from an event about MY clothes!
      I was the youngest of three with two older sisters, 5 years and 2 years respectively. Their bedrooms were close to mine in this big old house but Mothers was down the hall past the open staircase. So no lingerie or nylons available. No I was dressed in very feminine clothes for “good” occasions which were holidays of course but could be just a more formal dinner and of course church. These dress up outfits were very much a more modern (late 50s early 60s)versions of the Little Lord Fauntleroy era from 1880s to WWI. Large ruffled lace round collars blouses with velvet short pants etc.
      While at some event likely our annual audience presence at the Nutcracker in a major theater, I was dressed in this manner and we were in a lobby or a place where there were a lot of people standing around-intermission I presume. As my mother and sisters must have been talking or something, I caught the attention of a grandmother like person who began fauning-sp?- over me and was having others to look at me. I get it now but Then I got those looks a lot I think, but I was having none of it. Then one of them tried to rearrange or play with my large frilly collar. I yelled for mother or my sister but was told something like mind my manners and the lady went back to like turning me around.
      Then I melted down I am told and tried to tear my blouse off and did manage to rip the collar.
      Opposite reaction to this incident. I realized at some point after that I liked being dressed up. But I felt humiliation especially when I was looked at or hear giggles etc.
      On the outside I told everyone how much I hated being dressed but when I was out liking it and feeling that strange feeling we have sometimes.
      And so it goes. Years go by and Mary Janes and anklets become tube socks and gym shoes for outside. But my sisters school uniform knee socks and saddle shoes when ever I could sneak them to my room.
      And that’s the odd thing or event that woke up Jaime.
      Many hugs to all!!

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #626673
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 548
      Has thanked: 2097 times
      Been thanked: 2609 times

      Hi Michelle, I didn’t start trying to dress in my mother’s clothes until I was probably in my teens, I think somewhere around 13-15, partly because I was too small to fit much of anything, I didn’t have any sisters (until around then) from where I could get ideas, I shared a room with one or the other of my brothers until I was 16, so there was absolutely no privacy, except when they were gone visiting our relatives during summer vacations.

      I did ask my mother to make me a dress when I was around 5 or so, which she did out of kraft paper and which I wore for a little while one summer afternoon outside.  I distinctly remember that. When I was around 8, I came upon a (very cheap) female Halloween wig which I wore for imaginative purposes.

      And when I was around 10 or so, I remember scrunching the covers of my bed at night (when a brother was gone, of course) to simulate a figure of sorts and imagining I was some fictional female character – damsel in distress – hoping for my knight in shining armor to rescue me. Also around that time, for a birthday cake my mother bought a space themed decorated cake that had about 2-3″ plastic spacemen and a ‘small’ rocketship, including a scantily clad shapely female crew member, and I played with those – a lot.

      So for at least 10 years, I had to make do with minimal items and/or a very active imagination.

      Hugs, ChloeC

      ps my parent’s bedroom was strictly forbidden and definitely off limits…until I was old enough to understand how to sneak stuff without being caught.  My stepdad was one mean sob, and you did NOT want to cross him.

      • This reply was modified 4 months ago by ChloeC.
    • #626585
      JOJO
      Lady
      Registered On: August 5, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 102
      Has thanked: 389 times
      Been thanked: 515 times

      Similar to many other crossdressers I started dressing in my mother’s clothes at a very early age. I do not have sisters so that was my only source for feminine clothes. I was very meticulous to make sure that I returned her clothes to the exact same location including the way it was folded for fear of her finding out. If she knew she never said a word to me. I think my older brother knew but he too never said a word to me about it. I almost got caught dressing a couple of times by my parents but that never happened.

      I can still remember today the glorious sound the high heels made when I first walked in them. Even today I still get a thrill from the sound of high heels. After I put on on all of the necessary clothing items I finished with the makeup. My favorite makeup item and even today my favorite makeup article is the lipstick. For me it is the finishing touch to my dressing.

      It was a sad day when I outgrew her clothes and had to wait until I graduated college to buy my own dresses etc. Today, I am very proud to say that I am a crossdresser and fully embrace the fact that I am.

    • #626583
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 1298
      Has thanked: 8119 times
      Been thanked: 6449 times

      Before the internet the Sears catalogue sparked many CD’s of which I was one but somehow I knew I wanted to wear girls dresses even at 6yrs old. After decades of searching I’ve never found the reason I’m this way… I’m just me.

    • #626518
      Beverly Hanson
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 25
      Has thanked: 389 times
      Been thanked: 154 times

      I’m nearly 67.  I’ve been dressing in women’s lingerie and clothing since I was 4 (that “why” is a long, oftentimes sad story for somewhere else.). But it was compulsory for me to dress then, and I cannot remember balking about it, but I knew exactly when that switch was flipped and I HAD to dress in fine, soft, silky/nylon slips, stockings with garter belts and panties.

      I was sent into the bathroom to change back into my boy’s clothes this one time when I was around 6 or 7.  Well, I had to pee first so I sat as I had been taught, and knowing I was changing, I kicked off my panties while sitting.

      It’s when I stood up that the mysterious life-changing mindset took root in my inner being; that the entirety of my existence was formulated that one afternoon.  For as I stood, the lovely full nylon, double layered slip I had been wearing…. Swished back and forth across my you know what, which was semi erect after using the toilet, and my body shuddered in an extremely pleasant manner, and I made a thick, gooey mess in my slip and on the floor.

      After a few moments of afterglow, I began to panic.  One, what the heck just happened to me?  Two, I’m darn sure to get in big trouble for this mess of my clothes I just made; and three, I sure loved what this newfound experience felt like!!!

      It has taken over 15 years of therapy to arrive at an understanding of why I just HAVE to crossdress in women’s clothing.  It explains oh so much.  Like how I went through periods of trying to have sex with a woman and experiencing ED, and unable to fulfill my manly duties.  A lifelong condition.  Except…. When accompanied with wearing silky nylon skirted attire.

      And I’m totally fine with who I am today.  Certainly, finding this out years ago would have been nice.  But all in due time…. I am quite content being a crossdresser – feeling and looking pretty.  And having successfully discovering an actual reason for all those times I thought I was failing… It turns out this is just who I am.

      I LOVE being here with you all; and that’s how I got started.

      • #638145
        Lacy Williams
        Lady
        Registered On: December 23, 2020
        Topics: 0
        Replies: 4
        Has thanked: 2 times
        Been thanked: 13 times

        What a great story. I want to hear more about your “compulsory” dressing at home. It sounds like you were wearing lingerie that was designed for adults even though you were a small child? Did you also sleep in nighties?

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #626577
        Lacy Satin
        Lady
        Registered On: June 27, 2018
        Topics: 7
        Replies: 483
        Has thanked: 442 times
        Been thanked: 2257 times

        Wow! You were made to dress? How wonderful that must have been.

        It’s nice to hear someone else experienced their first orgasm while wearing silky lingerie. It happened to me while sleeping in a pair of mom’s panties and I also had no idea what had just happened but it sure felt good. I’ve never stopped enjoying relieving myself while wearing silky lingerie. I’ve never had a problem satisfying my wife but there’s just something about wearing lingerie and bringing myself to orgasm that I enjoy much more than sex.

        I’ve often wondered how other males had their first orgasm. I know once I found out what it was that was happening to me when I wore lingerie, and I heard other guys in the locker room talking about masturbation, I shared with them what I did to get off. They looked at me as being weird so I shut my mouth.

        I wonder how I would have discovered it if I wasn’t into wearing silky lingerie when puberty hit.  To me masturbating in lingerie is the only way I know how to get off. What do so called “normal men” do when they masturbate?

        My love for wearing lingerie in time led to wanting to experience femininity on a deeper level. After I got married, I just couldn’t resist going into my wife’s closet and trying on her dresses. I was amazed at how good I looked in a dress and this led to wanting more. In time I bought my first wig and then breast forms.  Feminizing myself has been something I really enjoy and over the years I have created my own wardrobe and have 100 times more feminine clothes than my wife.

        If it wasn’t for that first wonderful orgasm in lingerie I wonder where my life would be today. I can only assume it would still be the same because my interests in wanting to be a girl was there before I reached puberty.

        I have no problem just seeing myself as a man with a very strong feminine side. Just wish I didn’t have to be so secretive about it. I just love women to death and at the same time I’m extremely jealous of them.

    • #626490
      Michaela Anthony
      Lady
      Registered On: December 29, 2021
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 216
      Has thanked: 796 times
      Been thanked: 964 times

      Here’s my crossdressing origins – my earliest memory and what undoubtably help start my journey on the CD road happened when I was about 8 or 9 years old.   I come from a very large family that included three sisters and while I was a “middle child” I was still the smallest out of all the children.  For whatever reason, one day all my sisters decided it would be great fun to “kidnap” me and take me to the room they all shared and into their spacious clothes closet where they set about dressing me from head to toe in their attire complete with hair ribbons.  The second part of the plan including them parading me all through the house in front of my parents and brothers and proclaiming that they now have a “new sister” and here she is!  They even wanted to take me outside and down the street for all the neighborhood to see but my mother stepped in and told them that was enough and to let their poor brother alone. Everybody had a good laugh at my expense and I was a good sport about it (had no choice!) but still even during the ordeal it occurred to me that it was not entirely an un-pleasurable experience.

      For sometime afterwards I thought a lot about that prank and started wishing that it would happen again.  I even dropped hints to my sisters about a repeat performance but they weren’t at all interested.  And so in due time I found myself sneaking into their room and borrowing variously items of their clothing to try on in private.  And so I was off on my crossdressing journey!

      *** Kayla ***

       

       

       

       

    • #626481
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 3601
      Has thanked: 51906 times
      Been thanked: 12784 times

      Hi Michelle nice to meet you and so happy you found and joined us girls here on the best CD site on the internet so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here.. With being a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also..  With so much to see and do here from reading the forums and posts from many ladies here telling their stories about there journey down there femme road in life..  So when you get comfortable with us please join in with some comments to these ladies  then girl your turn just a story or two about the life and times of Michelle as she travels down her girly path in life .. As for making friends here there are so many ladies here from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with..  So again nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon.. Have fun girlfriend..

      Stephanie Bass

    • #626444
      Gwyneth
      Lady
      Registered On: January 21, 2021
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 224
      Has thanked: 1447 times
      Been thanked: 851 times

      It’s warming up here in the Smoky Mtns. All the women out on the parkway are wearing tights, leggins, whatever they call them. Just tight material revealing a great figure – sometimes! I want some so bad!

      My journey. It’s quite different from most on CDH, but honest. I was a man’s man most of my life. Several girlfriends and two wives had beat me up pretty bad by my 40s. How about a relationship with a male. It’s a new day right.

      Fast forward another 15 years or so and I’m thinking about crossdressing. I’m right at 50 now. Goes WAY against the way I lived my life the first 50. But here I am, what’s left of me!

      Gwyn

    • #626423
      Michelle
      Lady
      Registered On: October 14, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 34
      Has thanked: 9 times
      Been thanked: 176 times

      I remember the leotards and tights very well.  I remember as a kid going into any store and seeing a huge section just for nylons.  The Sears catalogues, all of that had a huge effect on me.  I always wanted to dress in that but obviously I wasn’t going to ask.  I didn’t really start sneaking moms nylons until I was about 10 years old, and even then they were just knee highs.  I was in my very early teens when I finally tried pantyhose for the first time, and been on the wagon ever since.  I was in high school when I first completely dressed for the first time, and when I did, it was like a switch was flipped.  I knew from that moment that is what I was.  It took many many years of doubt, guilt, and shame to finally accept it, but that is where it all began.

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