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Ladies, where do you like to go when dressed? I have been to Kohls, Sally Beauty Supply, Macys, Starbucks, and the book store with no problems. I had a bad experience once at the local mall when two girls started pointing and laughing at me, so I don’t stroll the mall anymore. I’m just looking for new places to go when dressed and would welcome any suggestions.
Kerri
I go most all the normal places I go in drab.
If I am going to a place where I need a little support, I get a GF or my wife to go there with me the first time to have a little support.
Most of the time, I try to tell myself…This is me, this is who I am and they have no say in me being happy in my life. If someone clocks me, as uncomfortable as I may be inside, I smile and make LOTS of eye contact. It tends to take the “triumph” out of someone that may think that they got to me.
So, good luck hon, have some fun out there.
xoxo
Rayna
Hi Kerri, I’m going to tell you to be brave and to hell with them, go to the mall, be yourself, and enjoy your femininity.
I have transitioned and I’m fortunate in that I pass, most of the time, so I go anywhere and everywhere!
I have been “clocked” and misgendered but so what! It’s all part of being a trans woman because some people just feel they have a responsibility to call you out if they think you’re trans or a CD. I am an “out and proud” trans woman, I often wear pins or badges that clearly state that I am trans, so there’s no beating around the bush and accusing me of “being fake”. My badges say:
– “This is what trans looks like.”
– “She/Her”
– “Trans is beautiful”
and my favorite “I’m a Girl.”If you get called out it’s their issue or problem, not yours. The other day I had a male cashier at a store ask: “Would you like a bag with that, sir?” I replied with a smile, “No thank you M’aam.”
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
It is so wonderful to be friends with such strong and proud transgender ladies. Thank you for you kind words.
Hugs,
Kerry
Confidence is the key. Own yourself and just go about your business. In general just keep moving and be natural. Sure there may be a look or even a snigger but you will be gone. It’s happened to me in the past but I just got stronger and refused to stop. It takes time but keep on going to the malls and anywhere that the general public go in numbers as, weird as it seems, it is better for you as they have more to focus on.
You keep going Kerri and it will get easier as you do it more.
Kerri,
Don’t let one bad experience spoil the mall for you, they are great places to go shopping, get a bite to eat & people watch. Go back & enjoy yourself.
Go to a nice restaurant & treat yourself to a nice dinner. In addition to all the stores we CD’s frequent I go everywhere as Fiona – food shopping, the library, the town tax office, my podiatrist appointment, restaurants, parks, movies.
Hi Kerri,
You are getting some great info from the other girls here! Don’t deny yourself the pleasure of going to the mall! They are fun places to visit.
Very few of us are beautiful enough to pass 100%. Moreover, most of us are clocked pretty quickly as guys in a dress. I never give it a second thought. I do my best every time I go out in public to present my best picture of femininity, and I get compliments from women often on my outfits, jewelry, makeup, shoes, etc. Hey, in rare instances even a guy will compliment me on something.
Yes, there are those isolated instances where someone will stare or say something. I shrug it off or make a joke. Like the girls have been saying, confidence, confidence, etc. Keep building confidence. Years ago I used to wear a button that said, “Ask Me About Cross Dressing.”
Small children are brutally honest. Last year at a pet store, a small child around six years old looked at me and asked me, “Are you a boy or a girl”? I simply replied, “Yes.” The parent told the child she was being rude, but I told the mother it was perfectly fine for the child to be curious, and it did not bother me one bit. I went on to tell the child some days I wear girl clothes and some days I wear boy clothes, whichever I feel most comfortable in that day.
This week I took a beautiful floor-length dress to my alteration lady to be altered. It needs to be shortened. I was in male clothes. She had me try it on. When I came out of the dressing room, there were other customers in the store, and they were looking at me, a guy wearing this beautiful long dress with bare shoulders. I just smiled at them.
Hugs…Peggy Sue
Peggy Sue,
Thank you for your kind words. I get more confident each time I go out. I’ve decided that if anyone says anything mean to me, I’ll just say I’m a transgender woman, do you have a problem with that?
hugs,
Kerri
I have been almost everywhere. I love to check my local mall. I check out Torrid, JC Pennies, Clairs and more. Often shop Wal-Mart not my local Target yet – I worked there for 40 years and not ready for that yet. I have a friend who invited me to her Church –Same as my denomination and I have been there 3 times so far. It helps that I pass, at least to some extent.
. Cassie
I wouldn’t worry about the young adults you encountered. Thats just what they do. They go the mall to people watch and to make fun of most everything.
When out and dressed, I just go wherever I have to go or want to go. It’s just me doing whatever.
However, I will say that Roberta moves much slower and tries to take the time to savor every minute. Its so different for me to move so casually thru a clothing, purse or shoe section. Picking items up to look them over carefully while I consider buying it.
Thanks Roberta,
That’s exactly what I have found regarding the teenage girls, I’d say that they’re responsible for almost all the times I’ve been “clocked” – sometimes they’re just downright mean, even cruel!Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Kerri, Last wk when temp where in the 90f (33c) I got out for my hike and a trip to the grocery store.
I wore a generic tank top, hiking sandals, and short-denim shorts (women’s) on the way in a teen/preteen girl gave me the look. As soon as we passed she told her mom and both turned to look,I could see them thur the reflection in the glass hope it gave her something to tell here friends HA HA. Gave me smile.
Lynda
Next I am going to wear my shorts with tight for my hike. Black or suntan?
Sorry you had a bad experience at the mall. Kids can be cruel.
Don’t let that experience dissuade you. Of course, you might think about what triggered the incident. It could have just been two mean girls, or possibly (as most of us have done a time or two) you may have been dressed a bit over the top, at least for the mall. I find that if I dress to blend, I am hardly if ever noticed.
I have spent some time there, as well as the usual strip mall clothing and make up chains. I think there is more to life than shopping, so I have enjoyed doing everyday things, like going to the grocery, bank, dry cleaners, even getting oil changes and warranty work done while in girl mode. I also enjoy coffee shops, lunch and dinner at various restaurants, attending live theater, touring museums…parks and zoos.
That’s a difficult one for me as I go pretty much anywhere I like…
If I look at my diary (kept for 6 or 7 years now) you will see a pattern of what I do. Typically this involves a lunch or dinner which is probably #1 or 2. Next would be shopping for whatever. I have several local restaurants I frequent and the same for the mall but I don’t only go to those places. I find any of my time out fun, exciting and also relaxing. Love meeting my friends for social time. If you want to check out a little more of what I do you can read my profile here and visit sandyacd on flickr.
Sandy
Last week my wife and I went to the “big city” (not very big) closest to where we live. Wife was busy with her things. I put on my padded bra, blouse and my new girly skinny jeans, girly cap and new earrings and went out to a local restaurant to get some take out food. Got a nice knowing smile from the waitress. Then went on a nice long walk on the river path. One of my few times out in public with other people around. Exhilarating !
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