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You lovelies have some style! I notice that it can range from feminine, flowy and flirty to ‘sexy tart’ (nothing wrong with either). Would you pls be willing to share with me whether it’s one or the other for you, and how your style may or may not be reflective of what you find sexually attractive in a female partner?
My CD’ing SO has amazing legs (in male or female clothes- they’re great!), and can pull off styles I’d look like a stuffed sausage in. He gravitates to extremely short skirts and fishnets to show them off. He also now has a tattoo around his upper thigh. I worry my conservative style of dress isn’t attractive enough for him if this is what he defines ‘attractiveness’ as in the feminine form. That then leads to me not feeling desirable. He says he finds me desirable but let’s just say it doesn’t always show (whether due to age- he’s late 50’s-, medications (heart) or other (I’ve asked him if he’s taken hormones) it’s difficult to say. And I am now doubting if he’s been honest with me). This is all I’ve known with him. We seem to be a couple very much attracted to each other otherwise.
Would love the ‘femme perspective’. Thanks!
I should point out that while I use ‘he’ I don’t do it to be offensive, and hope you understand. He and I have never had any other discussion about pronouns, and in this case I’m speaking of the effect on him when he’s with me (he doesn’t – yet? Ever? Who knows- dress in front of me).
Hi Nic
We CD(ers) are a simple bunch, really we are! If your SO is telling you that you’re attractive and is still wanting to be with you, you really have to trust them that you are attractive… I don’t feel that I’m attractive, but my SO says otherwise (and always has).. It works for her too; I find her incredibly attractive, even if she doesn’t always believe it. It’s not in human nature to be attracted to yourself, so you just have to trust people when they tell you otherwise… Next time, try saying “Tell me more” rather than some variation of “You’ve got to be kidding”.. I’d bet a lot of money that he’s being honest with you about how attractive you are, and it’s normal to not believe him, but in this situation we’re almost always wrong.
May you have a wonderful day, and the next time he tells you you’re attractive, just enjoy the compliment.
Hugs
-Molly
Hi Nic
We CD(ers) are a simple bunch, really we are! If your SO is telling you that you’re attractive and is still wanting to be with you, you really have to trust them that you are attractive… I don’t feel that I’m attractive, but my SO says otherwise (and always has).. It works for her too; I find her incredibly attractive, even if she doesn’t always believe it. It’s not in human nature to be attracted to yourself, so you just have to trust people when they tell you otherwise… Next time, try saying “Tell me more” rather than some variation of “You’ve got to be kidding”.. I’d bet a lot of money that he’s being honest with you about how attractive you are, and it’s normal to not believe him, but in this situation we’re almost always wrong.
May you have a wonderful day, and the next time he tells you you’re attractive, just enjoy the compliment.
Hugs
-Molly
ps: Sometime I wish someone would tell my SO this… She doesn’t always believe me either.
Hi Nic
I feel for you. It must be hard, you must feel a bit like your SO’s feminine alter ego is a kind of competition to you.
Most of us (even if we don’t want to openly admit it) even in relationships, find others more physically attractive than the one we are with, whether it be an actor, singer, sports star with a ripped body, model in beautiful couture outfits,etc etc, but there is so much more to finding our long term partner attractive than physical looks. The shared history you have, a sense of humour, a positive attitude, a sense of adventure, shared values etc, etc, intangibles that mean so much more than what we wear.
A more important question is, Do YOU like how you look ? Do YOU want to change how you look, don’t do it for anybody else, but if you want to do it, have fun. Do Love yourself Nic, whatever your physical appearance, someone confident in their own body is also an attractive quality. If YOU want you could even use your SO’s love all things feminine as an excuse to be a bit more adventurous yourself, to have some fun with it, be a bit less conservative.
I feel this is what drives many cross dressers. WE want to do it to look better than we feel we look in the drab male world where we live(Black or brown shoes, dark suit, shirt, or shapeless jeans and a tee !)It does give many of us a psychological boost, a feeling of serenity, adventure, freedom from our drab male selves for a time,a bit of fun.
Love
B
This is a great perspective Bianca, thanks. I’ve had some weight and health troubles lately that I’m actively working on, but I usually have a fairly healthy appreciation of my own attractiveness. 🙂
Hi Nic,
It’s not what you wear, it’s how you wear it. All of us CD’s go thru great efforts to try and emulate what we will never be, a GG. You have so much more to flaunt than we, true femininity. We CD’s struggle to reach that plateau which may account for your SO’s extravagant legwear. Maybe he would benefit from some loving guidance like, tone it down sweetheart. I’ll help you. There are better ways to feel fem. All the best. luv Mina.
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