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I have been listening to Kathe Perez talking about voice feminization to see just how effective my voice is after all these years. It turns out that it’s actually been working very well 🙂 When I started going out in public years ago I noticed that when fully dressed I automatically moved and spoke completely differently. I spoke in a soft whispery voice that gradually changed into a more believable feminine voice over a couple years. I would be working at my computer and I would read things aloud in my feminine voice, so I guess you could say I was self taught. I always speak with my female voice when dressed or out in public or when buying lingerie and bra’s at my favorite store. I also use my female voice on the phone talking to online stores about orders.
How about you gals, how many of you have and use your female voice?
I use it sparingly as it actually has hurt me before physically. Typically I reserve it for the stage if needed, and typically I’m only doing it with hand working a puppet. Makes the kids laugh
There was a time, earlier in my going out en femme, that I tried really hard to use a more femme voice, but over time, I was less conscious of it. Recently however, as my dear wife and I were in a coffee shop drive-thru, there was a bit of an exchange, getting our correct, and afterwards, my wife remarked, “You are so much nicer as a girl” and shortly there after the drive-thru attendant to offered a, Thank you “Ma’am”.
Apparently, my voice matches my presentation.Over the years, I would say I arrived at some point where I just became unconcerned about my voice. Why? Most likely, because when I am cross dressed, I act lady-like, am appropriately dressed for my age and the occasion, practice good manners and show courtesy toward others, etc.
Also, my body movements are female-like, and I speak in a low smooth voice. Virtually all the time I am addressed as, “ma’am.”
I suppose, with me, it is a non-issue. The people and businesses I deal with in public while I am cross dressed always seem happy to see me, because I am in an upbeat mood, and why shouldn’t I be? Every chance to be a girl is a great day!
I believe my femme voice is good, and part of the whole package (meaning presentation, mannerisms, body proportions).
However, after some years going out, I finally realized that while I was (like most) obsessed with the idea of passing, there was a much more rewarding thing… the same thing @catgurl referred to…
ACCEPTANCE. I will go out, present the best I can, use my femme voice, etc. Do I pass? Maybe. I dare say I do. But as long as the other person treats me with the same respect and politeness I treat them, if they realized I’m not a female is totally irrelevant at that point.
And that is of course one of the funny things in life. When you stop obsessing about passing… it may be easier for you to pass. Go figure!!Gaby
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Gabriela, I TOTALLY agree! My last couple of times out, I was ACCEPTED. I don’t know if the people I had interactions with truly thought I was a woman or not, but that’s how I was treated and that’s all that matters to me.
As for my femme voice, I think mine is just okay. Barely passable and can still get a lot better. I can talk, but I can’t project yet. Still kind of a quiet voice like Lauren mentioned she started out with. I got my start with TransVoiceLessons on YouTube. Z is extremely detailed, and some of her basic exercises have helped me greatly. I will look up Kathe Perez and see if that helps me as well. Thanks!
*kisses* tara 🙂
‘When you stop obsessing about passing’ – Exactly Gabby. It’s an Achilles heel for most girls, or, foot in mouth. I have been through the stages of avoiding talking, one word answers and all the rest. I have been told by friends I have a softer voice and I know that it isn’t entirely convincing. I make the best of what I have and that has served me well. My phone voice is not convincing but if I say who I am at the start then the caller will invariably follow the gender queue given. I have to use my voice everywhere now and I am taken as what is presented and treated accordingly. Be confident and smile!
Yes Angela. That’s another thing I’m sure Tara Jean found true, and I wrote about long time ago.
Going out and just “looking” ok, walk around, while avoiding contact with others is certainly ok. But… if you go back thinking “I was passing 100%” is kind of silly. Going out and interact with people, and again, being treated and reacted to like any other human being… that is what is really rewarding!! Having conversations just like everybody else is having around you.
Some people will realize and don’t care. Some others will realize and even if they care they will be educated (or trained enough) not to say anything. And some others may not have a clue. Was that “passing”? Maybe. Does it matter at that point? Nope! 🙂
- Hi I have developed a fem voice and like you I use it When I am out even if you and me were talking on the phone when I am out I wear a leather choker buckled very tight around neck to remind me to talk fem also hide any chance of seeing a Adam’s apple let’s chat soon peace and love Jennifer sullivan
Good morning ladies, I’ve been reading the replies and comments and want to encourage any, who may not yet have their female voice, to keep working on it, practice makes perfect. I talk to my self in Lauren’s voice throughout the day, sometimes, LOL, I have to be careful at work because I will find myself answering a question in Lauren’s voice instead of my boy voice. I do get some funny looks but where I work it’s mostly all women and I know some of them are on to me but I’m not “out” at work yet…
I have one. My voice is not very deep to start with but I’ve also used a voice analyzer app and have practiced a bit with the app. I’ve been confused for my wife on the phone with utilities/service companies and have kicked into Nancy voice to finish the call. When I don’t use it for some time I have to think about it a bit and like to practice a little bit before going out. However when I’ve used it a good bit for a day or more and not really used my normal voice I have caught myself starting to speak in my femme voice.
It is always a work in progress but have spent time with you tube videos and being conscious of my voice. I have practiced on the phone and with friends to help develop it to be in higher pitch and softer while smiling. I am told it is passable I know find it easier to slip into especially when dressed and displaying my feminine mannerisms. I so much enjoy my feminine presentation now after years of practice
For quick small-talk occasions, yes, I think I can pull off a feminine voice. If I were engaged in a longer conversation, I think it would be more difficult.
The three things I do are as follows. I listen to my natural voice, and call that “do.” I then raise my voice “do-re-mi-fa-sol” and talk there. The pitch is not too high that it sounds falsetto, and I still have the ability to modulate my voice at this pitch. This alone doesn’t feminize my voice, I’m just talking at a pitch half an octave higher.
The second thing is to open my throat and talk from the chest, like they tell you to do when singing. This doesn’t exactly feminize my voice either, but it de-masculinizes it by eliminating the buzz from my throat. The slightly higher pitch you are talking at makes this easier.
The third thing is to make my voice smaller. A few people mention they talk in more of a whisper. The problem with this is that you can’t get volume when you need it. If you are talking and someone can’t hear you, if you remove the whisper and talk louder then your masculine voice will return.
The trick (and I learned this from a speech specialist who has been a guest at meetings on a few occasions) is to push some air into your nasal cavities. The nasal cavities are a smaller space than your oral cavity, and the resonance in the nasal cavity will therefore be smaller, and your voice will sound smaller. You can still push out a large volume of air to sound loud while maintaining a feminine voice.
You don’t want to push all the air into your nasal cavity, because you will then sound extremely nasal, like Fran Drescher or Barbara Streisand. You have to experiment with how much air you push up. I find about half to two-thirds works well for me.
These work well enough for the “Hi, how are you” or other very short conversations. If you want to work on longer conversations, you need to learn other techniques, such as using your hands when you talk, modulating the voice (but not overmodulating it), and talking in a legato form (elongate vowels and make smooth transition between words) rather than the masculine staccato (crisp words, sharp breaks between words). Word choice is another thing that can be worked on.
I’ve attended many parties or support group meetings with others, and I’m always surprised how few people even attempt a feminine voice, even if out in public such as at a restaurant. I can’t say that I’m always consistent at these longer events. But when I see people in the street or in a store, I do make the effort to use my feminine voice.
I run myself through weird “tests” I guess throughout my days. In guy mode, anytime I order at a drive-thru I’ll talk in my femme voice and they’ll call me ma’am. When I get up to the window, they often say oh, sorry. And I just laugh and tell them it’s totally fine and happens quite a bit. It’s odd how I find it totally fine and entertaining and really positive when someone mistakes me for a woman when I’m in total guy mode… but boy oh boy if someone ever mis-gendered me while I’m in girl mode, that would be totally brutal and would make me feel like I totally failed.
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I’ve always been a low talker and have to make an effort to talk louder. My tone isn’t too deep but still male and my adams apple doesn’t show at all.
I need to work on speaking in a little higher pitch. Thanks for all the speech help suggestions.
I never knew how I sounded. When I answered the phone at home people would ask to speak to my husband. It bothered me at first but got used to it. Now I like it.Guess I must sound female.
I have not worked on my voice, as I probably should, as I fear I will come through as faking it. I usually speak softly and perhaps raise pitch a bit. I generally presume my voice is the reason I am clocked. But I asked a lady once, whose profession is teaching fashion and design, after getting to know her, whether she realized I was a guy immediately and, if not, what the tells were. She said it took a bit to figure me out. The main giveaways were my build and hands, stuff I could hardly do anything about. I asked whether the voice was not a key tell. She surprised me by saying no, many women have masculine voices. So while I am often “Ma’amed”, and it is clear that in many cases that it is because i have passed, I never know it is just out of politeness and am left wondering why it seems immediately clear to many (perhaps not most)- waiters, store clerks, fast-food clerks, and such, that I am a “sir”.
I’m sure many of us would like to know what gives us away and how we could improve. Does anyone have suggestions for how we might politely inquire what the giveaway is when misgendered and what reactions people have had to questions posed to learn the truth? How often is our voice the key tell?
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