Greetings lovely ladies,
I’m thrilled today to be able to share Ellen’s story that covers a journey we all take – from guilt and shame to acceptance and encouragement. You’ll also discover how her loving wife helped her blossom. Before we meet Ellen, if you have a crossdressing success story you would like to share with our community, please take a moment to submit your story.
Ellen’s Mardi Gras Coming Out Party
Like other cross dressers that I have read about, I tried on girls clothes as a teenager, fantasized about being a girl, and later when married secretly would wear my wife’s clothes. These actions left me with mixed feelings – guilt and shame for doing something so repulsive, conversely the thrill of feeling like a woman. Lucky for me I found in my current wife acceptance and encouragement.
In the last 10 years or so of my work I have had to frequently go on business travel. In an attempt to keep the spark alive my wife would hide a pair of her thong panties in my luggage. This was a real thrill for me since it gave me an opportunity to spend evenings back at the motel wearing her undies without fear of getting caught. Once she asked me if I had worn them, to which I confessed, so for quite a long time she has known that I enjoy wearing ladies underclothes, but she was not aware how much really wanted to dress as a lady.
So how did I fully come out to her? Earlier this year we were invited to a Mardi Gras party. I suggested to the wife that I go in drag as is a common custom at Mardi Gras. She agreed and together we went shopping for the perfect drag outfit. We didn’t find anything (although we had great fun shopping for ladies outfits for me), so the following day I went to the local Adult Novelty store. I found a pretty pink negligee that looked great on the floor model. I bought it and hurried home to change. I text’d my wife that I had found an outfit; I was wearing it, and was drinking, so she should not be shocked when she got home.
Ellen – pretty in pink!
Admittedly it looked hideous on me, but we had a fun night dressed in nighties, interspersed with some serious conversation about me as a cross dresser. I admitted that I liked the feel of women’s clothing; that for years I had been cross-dressing secretly; I had guilt feelings of hiding it from her; and that I wanted to be more open with her about it. She agreed so long as I didn’t go outside of our home dressed as a woman. To seal the deal when she came home from work the following day I was dressed in skirt, panty hose, and ladies shoes just to ensure her that I was serious. Since then I have bought for myself a basic wardrobe, makeup, shoes, jewelry, wigs, so on and so on. The wife has given me tips on makeup and accessories plus hand-me-downs of jewelry and makeup. A sign of her acceptance – I showed her my favorite dress and she said if it was her she would buy one in every color. She also tries on all the clothes that I buy to see if they fit her, and if so intends to ‘borrow’ them.
Although she has been great to me in this adventure I know she is somewhat weird-d out by me dressed as a lady. So I try to respect her feelings – I dress mostly when I am alone, although I no longer fear getting caught by her, and I try to let her know ahead of time that I am dressed up before she gets home so she won’t be surprised. Perhaps an advantage for us is that we are also nudist, long time members of AANR (American Association for Nude Recreation), and members of a nearby nudist park. In general nudists are very non-judgmental and body acceptance is a norm. Thru AANR we have an expanded vision of what is ‘normal’.
Unlike others I consider myself a ‘man in a dress’ not a woman. I enjoy being a man and doing manly things – like playing golf, yard work, Pickleball etcetera. So I live in two worlds and am happy to be there. I hope to someday get out of the house dressed as a lady, perhaps an LBGT friendly bar or event – with my wife’s approval of course. I feel blessed to have the wife that I do and look forward many years of cross-dressing.
Ellen
More Articles by Vanessa Law
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- Win a Free Makeup Prize Bundle from Jecca Blac
- A Few Changes in Our Family
- I Want to Live Like That
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness
I enjoyed Ellen’s story very much. She is very lucky to have an accepting wife.
I am so glad that Ellen is one of the lucky ones who has a wife that accepts all sides of her mate. I too have such a wonderful partner. I am fortunate enough to be able to wear whatever I feel like. If I feel like a dress, fine, if it is male clothing that is also fine with her. She also likes getting presents from both sides of me. 2 birthday presents is always better than one. Never gave it much thought, but I guess I would have to agree with the “I’m a man in a dress"… Read more »
This story is very similar to my experience with my wife. I had to tell her, because the hiding and deceit was killing me. So I finally told her 6 years ago. I was a rough road for the first couple of years. It has mellowed out to total acceptance.
We shop together and share clothes. Its ever so much fun. She lets me dress when ever I want. I try not to push the envelope. She said she would tell me if I start over doing it. So far I’ve been a good girl in her eyes.
thank you ellen for sharing your story
Ellen is very fortunate and i am sure many readers would wish that there own wives were as understanding and accommodating. A good post, gives us more encouragment!
Shame is one of our ensemble of tricky, Ego monsters – like guilt and jealously. Those bad-boys like to creepy around our consciousness like gremlins. I will pass on to you, and other readers of your blog, what I suggest to folks I counsel. Emotions are to be treated like a dip in the ocean: let the waves come, slide over you and pass; onto the sand beach. It’s a normal part of growing into change. If we fight it, ignore and suppress these feelings, we will become stuck in them. Eventually, evening comes and the waves subside, as we… Read more »
I loved the story Ellen told my wife also knows I like to dress but she is not that accepting . I am looking to hear from susann
Vanessa, this might be a little off the topic. I am a twenty-five year old crossdress, I began to dress around ten years of age. My question is, at that age, can your mother have an influence on your need to dress. I mean if you are influenced by your mother on other things, like who to play with, manners, things like that..can that be an issue?
Jillian
Being new to the group makes this a little reserved. I love the story, but my wife and I will be parting ways in the next while. I had a lengthy chat with my doctor yesterday, and will be going on hormone this coming week. After years of hiding my feelings, I am going to go out and become what I always wanted to be. Crossdressing is not new to me, but coming out of the closet into the world is one big step.
Oh Darlene dear, I’m so sorry that you are parting with your wife. It’s a difficult thing to do, even though the rest of your life awaits you. Best of luck on your journey to become your woman inside dear! It’s a beautiful and amazing ride!
Today, I discussed my feelings and intentions with and old work colleague, well, I am not the only one locally thinking and making big changes in our lives. The more that was discussed, more of our own personal feelings came out. Of the people that I know in this area, no less than ten are going the same route crossdressing to transsexual. More on the subject in the near future.
Wow Darlene! 10! What a support group to have so close by, what a blessing!