I’ve been reading some CDH articles, forums, and chatting with some of you here. Many of the perspectives shared I find intriguing, sometimes alarming, and I’d like to share some of my own observations.
When I was growing up, I lived in many different settings. My early childhood years were spent in several small towns, on a farm, and then in later years, through high school, we lived in conservative suburbs. My early adulthood years were in the inner city, and shortly thereafter on another farm. My thirties were in first ring progressive suburbs and again the inner city into my forties. I’ve experienced many different cultures and the myriad of ways Trans, cis men, non-binary people and cis women dress, behave, and do what they enjoy doing.
Mainly, what I’ve noticed, especially during the last twenty years is that there’s an increasing blending between the genders. It seems that Trans and cis men, who have faced the stigma the hardest about wearing clothing not made for men are doing it if they want to. Years back, I found a website for cis men who wear skirts. Usually they’d have a man’s shirt on, but they still considered themselves cis men and weren’t trying at all to look like women in any way. Makeup is even being advertised to cis men now. Times, they are a changing.
When I think of my gender as a woman, it’s just something I am. I have many sociological female traits, and I identify with female primary and secondary sex characteristics. Many people have an idea of what a woman is, what a man is, and some even consider the perspective of non-binary people, too. I am a woman. I do what I want, when I want, how I want, and I don’t bow to anyone else in any way.
Since I’m a woman of the Trans variety, I also think about how I could change my primary and secondary sex characteristics. Not all Trans women do it, and it varies quite a bit from one to another. I realize at this point in my transition that there are many secondary sex characteristics that are immovable objects for me. I’ve slowly been accepting this medical limitation and I’m adapting to just being me. Living for myself and not for what others say I should be on account of my gender as a woman. I think that some Trans and cis women do indeed look like Barbie dolls and some look more like NFL players. ALL of them, however, are women. So what really is the difference between all of the genders?
I think the difference is mainly a person…
-Telling you they are a woman.
-Telling you they are a non-binary person.
-Telling you they are a man.
I know this may sound fairly radical to some of you. All genders come in varying heights, shapes, sizes, variations, interests, colors, cultures, creeds, and decorations. Here in the States, we’re currently arguing these principles as we have also been arguing the feminist case for the last one hundred years or so. In my state the legal requirement to defining someone’s gender is by the composition of their hormone levels, coupled with the gender they prefer, and of course the birthing doctors calling us as they see us.
I think it’d be easier to pass well as the woman I am, considering the stereotypical ways the majority of America and the world keep dictating. I guess what I really wish is that people would start transitioning their gender identity definitions into more realistic ones. I also wish it didn’t matter so much. As for me, I’m just going to be me, A Dasia.
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