I wrote an entry for my blog and thought it would be nice to share it with you ladies. It was the incident concerning some fellows yelling, “Look at the tranny! Look at the tranny!” I wrote about it in my article, “Early Days Out and About.”
In the aftermath of my first experience in the city, which hadn’t gone all that well, I was consumed with the need to go out and about in female mode. I just loved the idea and was wrapped up in the feeling of it; I couldn’t get enough. On several occasions, I went for a drive in my sports car (with the top down.) It felt wonderful to have the wind blowing through my long hair and whipping stray strands into my face.
On one occasion, while going to a mill town to the northwest (a long drive through farm and bushland,) I pulled into an Esso Station there that is no longer standing today. A woman working the pumps started talking to me. This was in the days before self-serve, and we still had gas pump attendants. She started a conversation with me, in what I thought was a most personal way. I didn’t know her, it was the first time I’d been to that particular gas station. She commented on my mode of dress and said something about how it is good to be able to be oneself and express themselves as they truly felt.
The woman went on to say that she was a lesbian, elaborating at some length about her situation. I’m fairly sure that she didn’t normally discuss her personal situation with everyone who pulled in for a few dollars worth of Regular, but I think her seeing that I was different allowed her to open up to me. I told her something of my situation, and how I felt more myself when presenting as female.
I must confess though, that in those days, I was not well coordinated as far as my outfits went. My style tended more towards being the tart than as a lady on an afternoon’s outing. In fact, my short black skirt was very risqué; the hem coming down to just above mid-thigh. For my sports car adventures, I would change in the same parking area as I did when I first went to the city.
On one occasion, I took my camera and tripod with me. This was during the days of the film camera. I always had my films developed at the local camera shop. I can’t remember where I had driven to, but on my way back, I parked in a secluded area to set my camera and tripod. I posed in several positions by and on the car. The poses were done in a similar tradition of models who pose at new car shows. Although I was nervous about it, and knew I was taking a risk, I took my film to the usual camera shop.
I got on well with the young woman working there and found the courage to tell her about my girl attire and the poses. When I went to pick the photos up a few days later, she was all smiles. She complimented me, sharing that I looked pretty good as a girl. It seemed that my fears regarding her reaction had been unjustified. I may have asked her to call me Jill as well (that being the name I liked to go by in those days.)
I do remember another run to the city, this time in my regular car. I knew of a makeup studio that catered to, or at least didn’t mind working with trans girls and CDs. I made an appointment and arrived at the proper time. This was my first ever makeup session, and I had never previously worn makeup. The way that she applied my makeup, and how she put it, it would feel heavy on my face. As far as I knew back then, that is how makeup was supposed to feel. Years of experience since then have taught me otherwise. Nevertheless, I was quite happy with it at the time.
I went for a stroll along the same avenue as I did during the incident with the guys yelling, “’Look at the tranny!” Things went better this time. I was aware that most people studiously avoided looking at me. This was different than them not taking notice, as one does not take notice of fellow pedestrians on a crowded street. It seemed to be more purposeful than that.
That was how it was in those days. My reception in the ladies’ wear shops was a little better than previous times, and there were no objections to me trying on items of clothing. After spending most of the afternoon on that same avenue, and enjoying the feel of the hem of my skirt dancing tantalizingly against my thighs, I went back to the makeup artist and asked her to remove the makeup. After that it was time to head home; getting changed on the way back. During these outings, I discovered that the more I presented myself as a girl, the more I wanted to do it.
Lynne
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Oh Lynne, such a story. Everything was so much different back then, and the further you go back, the worse it was. It’s why so many, most of us, ended up way back in the dark of a closet for most of our lives. But society is so much better now, much more accepting, and I’ve found that now, for the most part, we can finally shed those fears and be our true selves, at least part time. I’ve finally come out, almost full time now, except when I’m doing heavy work outside and need to be a male (but… Read more »
Ah yes – that IS the dilemma, Sweetie. The more we get out, the more we want — no, NEED — to get out. Thanks for sharing your experiences. 😘
That seems to be true of all of us, Julie
Thank you Lynne for such an interesting article. It was in the 90’s I first thought about getting more seriously dressed and made up and perhaps even going out! Sadly I didn’t for another 25 years! Fear and shame kept me in my closet and I now regret all those years I lost! A few other things really resonated with me, and I had a similar experience to yours at the gas station. This was only a few years ago and at the local drug store. I was looking for some foundation and another woman 60’s or so approached the… Read more »
@amylove2dress
Hi Amy,
Thank you for your kind comments and I’m happy to hear that you now go out quite often as your true self.
Something else I have noticed that since I started going out and about as Lynne waitresses in restaurants that I have known for years talk to me about make-up and such girl topics now where previously that was not the case. It feels nice to be accepted as one of the girls in that way.
Lynne
Lynne, what you have described is probably what most of us have gone through. One might say all the mistakes we made in the beginning. What struck me about what you wrote was your distinction of people’s reactions, whether they “avoid" you, or not “notice" you. I look back on my beginning photos and I know why people avoided me. I have been dressing and going out for 25 years now and I’ve put much effort to improve. I have reached the desired point of people not noticing me. The reward for all my work is that I am noticed… Read more »
@lisanicole
Hi Lisa,
When I first started going out people definitely noticed me, but at the same time studiously avoided making eye contact. Unlike the way people generally don’t take notice of others on a crowded street.
Lynne
Nice story Lynne. I first went out in public in 2014 after 37 years of dressing in the closet. I have since been presenting female everywhere and anytime and never once had a problem.
@marianne65
You go girl. Your an inspiration for all girls in all stages of their feminine journey. Those courageous first steps leads to full feminine expression. Thanks Marianne, for taking those steps.
🥰 Fran
Thank you for this wonderful article on how it was in the past
You’re welcome, Vera. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Yes, I’m coming to believe that the more often one goes out en femme the more often one wants to do it. I am just a crossdresser but still I have been out in public lotsa times now even solo trips. They have all gone fine and I’m itching to do it again. With my MtF girlfriends.
@fatima
Hi Fatima,
That is something that I think most of us agree with, the more we go out and about the more we want to do it. I have been on several journeys of three or four days only taking feminine clothing with me. It is an indescribably good feeling.
Lynne
@Lynne Eden 3 or 4 days you very brave girl. Good on you.
Hi Fatima,
I would love to do that for a much longer period.
Lynne
Hi Lynne, good article. I’d love to see you dressed as a tart! Bet you look good. We should always dress as we feel I think. Black skirts at mid thigh are great. Most of my many skirts are at that length with some being even shorter just enough to cover equipment. I like my dresses hemmed at mid thigh also or at least above the knee. But to each his/her own. I like the short miniskirt look and it does help to show off my legs. And I’m over 70! Anyway thx for writing this.
@fatima
You’re welcome, Fatima. I prefer the shorter skirts myself; mid-thigh or just above the knee. I recently bought several flare skirts and I really like them.
Lynne