GIRLS, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

From a child we are taught that girls play with dolls and boys play cowboys and Indians, or race cars and other manly things. Girls can wear makeup and boys shouldn’t. Society points us in the direction that it thinks we should go. That’s ok. The problem doesn’t lie in where they think we should go. Which slot we belong in. What we should wear. How we should speak. That’s all things that our parents do as responsible adults. That’s basically what they should do.

The problem actually lies in the day we start to think differently. Questions we ask ourselves through the years of our lives after our very first experience with cross dressing. Why do I like girl’s things so much? And thinking, “What’s wrong with me?” So many years of our lives spent feeling like something is wrong with us. Like we don’t fit in. Afraid someone might see this side of us and destroy our lives by telling just one person. As we know, because that’s how society works, that’s how it all starts. Then the ridicule starts. In our heads it’s all over. We have to move now, or worse.

We live a double life. One of which very much hidden from all those that we know and love. Hiding who we are inside. Feeling guilty for deceiving our loved ones. Feeling that part of us is held down by those closest to us. The urge to break out is bursting at our seams but yet we suppress it.

At some point we might have to tell someone, this is who I am. Praying not to be judged but tired of holding it in. As our pressures build, any number of things may occur. Questioning ourselves, “Will I be able to even pass as a girl or a woman?” “My shape isn’t where I’d like it to be.” There are so many variables that cause self-doubt in us. The ultimate question being “WILL I PASS?” Or “I WOULD IF I COULD PASS AS A FEMALE.”

Here’s my take on it. And this is something that I never really thought of or considered before. I was that girl. Will I pass?

Here’s the thing. You will pass. Who says what you’re supposed to look like or what size and shape you’re supposed to be. I mean just look at the various sizes and shapes of genetically born females! Wow, what a difference from the largest to the smallest females out there. Wow, what a difference between the prettiest and the no so pretty females we see each day. Just look at the difference of the ones who know how to perfectly apply their makeup and the ones who don’t have a clue! Here is the most important thing… If you feel inside the way that makes you feel good on the inside, then it will be portrayed on the outside. Be you. Be confident. Smile like you are the happiest girl in the world, no matter what. Be nice, be polite. Have fun with being who you are. Most people will see this side of you and just go with it. Saying to themselves. He/she looks happy and doesn’t mind being seen. And that’s how they’ll say it in their head.

Let me share some experiences I’ve had. I have been out there online. Playing games online mostly and doing so as a cross dresser. Most people didn’t say anything. They just wanted to do what they do. Some would come on and get nasty. I would just be nice the whole time. Explaining that it takes so much work to look like this that I didn’t see why it had to bother them. Let me tell you, I would nice them to death! The end result? Most became friends of mine. That’s right, friends. In fact, a few began to hit on me. No, I’m not joking. Other times, well after I was known, if someone rude came on, the others would come to my defense. I would never have to say a word. Yes, girls – this really happened. No this is online and not in real life but the actions were there. People ultimately welcomed me. The fact that we pass or not is only in how we act. Believe me, you pass. You may not look like a model like some of these girls on here do. God knows there are some gorgeous girls on here but, that doesn’t have to be you. Just be you the way you are. The girl inside, regardless of what you look like on the outside in full up girl mode. Let everyone see who she is. Let them meet her 100%. That’s who you want them to see, isn’t it?  It can be dangerous, yes. That’s why real girls don’t always go out by themselves. I’ve seen girls out and in a crowd. Did they pass? Huh, by what standard? I’ll tell you this – they did. They did because they didn’t care what others thought. They were their feminine self and can I tell you, I was proud of them. And I saw how it wasn’t so hard. Your inner girl is there inside of you. Just be her. People will not worry themselves about her. Those that do, just ignore. The more you ignore them or be polite and nice in your response to them, the more that they look like the “freaks.”

Do you pass? Of course you do. In your heart, in my heart, you absolutely do. Why? Because girls, You Are Good Enough!

  • Girls, how many years did you stay in the proverbial cross dressing closet due to having to hide the feminine side of you for fear of your wife or significant other finding out about your thrill of cross dressing?
  • Did you ever reach a point of some really deep shame or guilt which caused you to purge or toss out everything you owned related to the feminine side of you? And if so, how many times have you purged since you started cross dressing?
  • If you have come out of that cross dressing closet and have told your wife or significant other the entire truth about your thrill of cross dressing, what was their initial reaction to the breaking news and what limits are now, if any, placed on when and where you are able to fully cross dress?

Thank you girls so very much for taking the time to read my article and please feel free to offer up any responses to my article or to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above!

With much love, Baily

En Femme Style

 

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Baily Marie Lovejoy

Been dressing since I was about 7 years old. 57 now. I d say much more conservative now that I'm older. I'm too tall at 6'2" so I wouldn't pass. My wife knows and is ok with me buying clothes although I don't really wear them in front of her. Only when I first get the outfit. Then I can't help it, I want her opinion. Was on here before and so happy to be back.

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Marianne
Ambassador
Active Member
5 months ago

Dear Baily Marie, I knew there was at least a part of me that was a girl being five or six years old. The ways boys were supposed to be just didn’t make sense to me. I cant remember anyone ever telling me thinking so was wrong or sinful, but something made me keep her a secret to everybody. At twelve I still was small compared to most of my friends but had grown big enough to start visualizing the girl in me by wearing my mother’s skirts and dresses in secret. It would still be nearly 20 years until… Read more »

Carla Roberts
Member
5 months ago

Loved reading this, and reminds me to be who I am, and own it.

Amy Myers
Baroness
Noble Member
5 months ago

Baily, thank you for your great article, many good thoughts in it. To try to answer your questions. Though in many ways my journey is very typical of most, I started early borrowing my Mom’s things, gave it up and really thought it was just past me, like certain other childhood things. However not too long after I was married the urge returned as now there lots of nice lingerie around so I started borrowing my wife’s bras, which fit me fairly well. Here’s the big difference, I never hid it from her, and she didn’t mind. Eventually she told… Read more »

Patricia Honey One
Member
5 months ago

Hi I love the feminine way Patricia Honey One

Krissy
Active Member
5 months ago

I’ve learnt it’s all about blending in, once you’ve mastered that, the sky’s the limit.

Paulette Parfois
Duchess
Active Member
5 months ago

Hi Baily, What a great article! You addressed a theme that seems to affect so many girls like us and that is a lack of self-worth, and trying desperately to adhere to the social ‘norms’. I know first-hand when I was finally able to shed my guilt and stop worrying about what others thought, it allowed me to fully embraced my feminine side. As a result wonderful things began to happen. Thank you so much for being my friend! Double Hugs, Paulette

Barbie Satin
Member
2 months ago

Hi Baily Marie That was beautiful to read. On the issue of being passable I never once considered myself to be passable. I never even tried because I knew at 6’6 it wasn’t going to happen. I was a balding 35 year old former body builder when I made my first clumsy attempts to fully dress. I had no clue what make up to get or how to use it. I had one cheap wig and one dress. I had been a binge and purge lingerie only CD for years who did all kinds of crazy things trying to make… Read more »

Barbie Satin
Member
2 months ago

You are very welcome and it is a pleasure to meet you Baily Marie. You have such a pretty name. Every girls journey is going to be different. Mine was about self discovery in many ways. I am not going to say there weren’t any bumps in the road because there were. That is just life no matter how you present to the world. I went out into the world 27 years ago when things were supposed to be so much worse than today and I found all kinds of crazy and wonderful people who accepted me as Barbie. I… Read more »

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