GIRLS, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

From a child we are taught that girls play with dolls and boys play cowboys and Indians, or race cars and other manly things. Girls can wear makeup and boys shouldn’t. Society points us in the direction that it thinks we should go. That’s ok. The problem doesn’t lie in where they think we should go. Which slot we belong in. What we should wear. How we should speak. That’s all things that our parents do as responsible adults. That’s basically what they should do.

The problem actually lies in the day we start to think differently. Questions we ask ourselves through the years of our lives after our very first experience with cross dressing. Why do I like girl’s things so much? And thinking, “What’s wrong with me?” So many years of our lives spent feeling like something is wrong with us. Like we don’t fit in. Afraid someone might see this side of us and destroy our lives by telling just one person. As we know, because that’s how society works, that’s how it all starts. Then the ridicule starts. In our heads it’s all over. We have to move now, or worse.

We live a double life. One of which very much hidden from all those that we know and love. Hiding who we are inside. Feeling guilty for deceiving our loved ones. Feeling that part of us is held down by those closest to us. The urge to break out is bursting at our seams but yet we suppress it.

At some point we might have to tell someone, this is who I am. Praying not to be judged but tired of holding it in. As our pressures build, any number of things may occur. Questioning ourselves, “Will I be able to even pass as a girl or a woman?” “My shape isn’t where I’d like it to be.” There are so many variables that cause self-doubt in us. The ultimate question being “WILL I PASS?” Or “I WOULD IF I COULD PASS AS A FEMALE.”

Here’s my take on it. And this is something that I never really thought of or considered before. I was that girl. Will I pass?

Here’s the thing. You will pass. Who says what you’re supposed to look like or what size and shape you’re supposed to be. I mean just look at the various sizes and shapes of genetically born females! Wow, what a difference from the largest to the smallest females out there. Wow, what a difference between the prettiest and the no so pretty females we see each day. Just look at the difference of the ones who know how to perfectly apply their makeup and the ones who don’t have a clue! Here is the most important thing… If you feel inside the way that makes you feel good on the inside, then it will be portrayed on the outside. Be you. Be confident. Smile like you are the happiest girl in the world, no matter what. Be nice, be polite. Have fun with being who you are. Most people will see this side of you and just go with it. Saying to themselves. He/she looks happy and doesn’t mind being seen. And that’s how they’ll say it in their head.

Let me share some experiences I’ve had. I have been out there online. Playing games online mostly and doing so as a cross dresser. Most people didn’t say anything. They just wanted to do what they do. Some would come on and get nasty. I would just be nice the whole time. Explaining that it takes so much work to look like this that I didn’t see why it had to bother them. Let me tell you, I would nice them to death! The end result? Most became friends of mine. That’s right, friends. In fact, a few began to hit on me. No, I’m not joking. Other times, well after I was known, if someone rude came on, the others would come to my defense. I would never have to say a word. Yes, girls – this really happened. No this is online and not in real life but the actions were there. People ultimately welcomed me. The fact that we pass or not is only in how we act. Believe me, you pass. You may not look like a model like some of these girls on here do. God knows there are some gorgeous girls on here but, that doesn’t have to be you. Just be you the way you are. The girl inside, regardless of what you look like on the outside in full up girl mode. Let everyone see who she is. Let them meet her 100%. That’s who you want them to see, isn’t it?  It can be dangerous, yes. That’s why real girls don’t always go out by themselves. I’ve seen girls out and in a crowd. Did they pass? Huh, by what standard? I’ll tell you this – they did. They did because they didn’t care what others thought. They were their feminine self and can I tell you, I was proud of them. And I saw how it wasn’t so hard. Your inner girl is there inside of you. Just be her. People will not worry themselves about her. Those that do, just ignore. The more you ignore them or be polite and nice in your response to them, the more that they look like the “freaks.”

Do you pass? Of course you do. In your heart, in my heart, you absolutely do. Why? Because girls, You Are Good Enough!

  • Girls, how many years did you stay in the proverbial cross dressing closet due to having to hide the feminine side of you for fear of your wife or significant other finding out about your thrill of cross dressing?
  • Did you ever reach a point of some really deep shame or guilt which caused you to purge or toss out everything you owned related to the feminine side of you? And if so, how many times have you purged since you started cross dressing?
  • If you have come out of that cross dressing closet and have told your wife or significant other the entire truth about your thrill of cross dressing, what was their initial reaction to the breaking news and what limits are now, if any, placed on when and where you are able to fully cross dress?

Thank you girls so very much for taking the time to read my article and please feel free to offer up any responses to my article or to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above!

With much love, Baily

 

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Lucinda Hawkns
Active Member
5 months ago

what a great post, well said and all true. we were brought up girls play with dolls and put on makeup and wear dresses, boys play with cars, g i joe, climb trees, work on cars, wood working. but never once said that we can try on a dress or put on make-up. that was back in the 60s where boys were boys and girls were girls. society is much different now its 2022 and there is more cross dressers then females. Then then now. society needs to wake up and leave the cross dressers do what they want to… Read more »

Brielle
Duchess
Active Member
5 months ago

I am gobsmacked! This may be the best article i’ve read since joining!! you captured the angst so many of us felt or still feel, show how to win over others with kindness, and give us all a huge boost of courage. I am going to download this and print it out to hang by my desk and mirror!!! I don’t know if this was in the essay contest, but it would have won, IMO. Well done you! xoxo

Brie

Michelle McQueen
Active Member
5 months ago

Well written article… thanks. It comes down to confidence in ourselves no matter what comes our way. We have to own our space and thats so difficult sometimes. While there are many different types of people in the world, a CD is a very unique type of person.

Effie Jayne
Effie Jayne
5 months ago

Absolutely a wonderful article Baily, and so very true!!

Teri Linnealis
Member
5 months ago

Bailey, I agree completely. Here is a few additional thoughts. I had a giant appetite for girly clothes at a very young age. So like every thing in the world there were decisions to be made. Not so much by me in the early days of my live since adults did my thinking for me. Later however, as was common in my misspent youth years I actually fought off my urges much like some gay people do when they join the Navy Seals. I never lost the desire but I certainly kept it in check. Now, I look back at… Read more »

Cassie Jayson
Duchess
Trusted Member
5 months ago

Thanks for the article, Baily. I did 40 years ago go out for a drive in the middle of the night fully in fem. Fear of getting caught and loosing the drive to dress I did purge shortly before getting married. Now after having encountered the pink fog about 3 years ago ( for me it was almost more like a pink wall) I have made steps out there going further every few weeks. Never would have happened that fast had I not let my X find out. The first thing she did was to tell our 3 grown kids… Read more »

Leonara
Ambassador
Trusted Member
5 months ago

Baily, thank you for a great article… so articulate and informative. to answer your third proposal “have you told your wife or significant other the entire truth about your thrill of cross dressing”. My wife met Leonara by walking in on her time expressing her feelings of femininity.. needless to say I was a deer in “headlights” . we talked and she had a acceptance. We shopped together and even had a manicure together… as she processed her husband’s CD revelation.. And requested that Leonara dressed when she is not home.. fortunately it’s 2-3x a week when she is with… Read more »

Leonara
Ambassador
Trusted Member
5 months ago

So glad I could help .. thank You for your friendship

Janice Doe
Active Member
5 months ago

Thanks for the nice article Bailey. To answer some of your questions, I have purged and I have come out to my wife with disastrous results. Early in our marriage, she was fine with it and encouraged it. Within a short time she grew tired of it and discouraged it. But, as everyone knows, we cannot just turn a switch on and off. We have been married 40 years and I have come out at least 4 times and she is very opposed to it. She is somewhat accepting of and open minded about the LGBTQ+ community accept when it… Read more »

Angela Booth
Active Member
5 months ago

It is a ‘Tub thumper’ of an article and is so right. Alas there will be those that will still be stymied by personal circumstance. I have been through all the phases and now it’s a case of this is who I am, take it or leave it. I love the angle – Nice them to death.

Thank you Baily

Ricki
Member
5 months ago

I loved your story because it describes me and my position in my journey. I have never been out but in the last few months I have been building up an outfit that I think will be acceptable and not too much that will grab a lot of negative attention. It’s winter and I can cover up a lot with winter clothes. I just got a knee length skirt I refuse to wear pants I’m going to also wear winter boots with a block 2” heel. My only hold back is that I am alone in my area I might… Read more »

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