Give up the habit of being critical and make your life a much more enjoyable place to be.
Give up the habit of being critical. When you do, you will learn to love yourself and others unconditionally. The greatest thing I have come to understand is that every one of us wants the same thing; to feel loved and to give love.
Being critical of yourself starts the internal creation of a critical mindset in all areas of your life; judging, comparing, and assessing one thing “against” the other.
Being caught up in the drama of the earthly trappings can make us crazy, but remembering that we are a part of a deathless source serves to remind us that everything here on this planet is simply playtime.
I am practicing my thinking of our earth as being a big human day care. Around us are all the imaginable kind and different people, each in their own ways, and in that life, expressing themselves. Each thing is a perfect expression of what it is.
You and I are perfect expressions of whom and what we are, regardless of the judgments of others. They too, are perfect expressions of who and what they are regardless of our judgments. There really isn’t any us or they though because we are all perfect expressions of the one that life is, as it lives on this planet.
I cannot say that my mind is void of self-criticisms and self-doubts. I do find, however, that as I practice just noticing those types of thoughts in my own mind, and then consciously and intentionally choosing to speak a new thought several times, and out loud if possible, that the mindset-container of self-criticism and judgment has become noticeably smaller.
I can feel my confidence expanding from inside of me as I simply practice the skill of feeling and acting confident. I sit quiet every day, for a few minutes, and imagine how I want to be, as if it is already true. This past week in the local grocery store, as my amazing wife and I were shopping, several locals and staff of the store approached us randomly just to chat and visit.
I was so comfortable in my skin that I totally forgot that I was dressed, perfumed, and decorated with makeup and jewelry and wearing breast prosthesis. I was Char completely unguarded in the middle of a bustling shopping center to the degree of unconscious competence; Mastery of simply “being” there.
There are four stages of understanding; unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence and unconscious competence or mastery.
What a ride it has been to travel from unconscious incompetence through the four stages to this place of self-creating. Practicing, giving up the habit of being critical and judgmental of myself and others has given me unexpected surprises. Giving up using criticism has freed up and emancipated a deep feeling of belonging, acceptance, and welcome for me that is not being generated from the people around me.
By trading acting critical, for acting confident, I have grown confidence and certainty from within.
From acting certain, I have generated certainty, and by appearing as if I am accepting of all differences, I have become more accepting. This in turn is reflected in others acceptance of me everywhere I go.
By giving up the habit of criticizing and judging, I have opened myself up to so many wonderful feelings and experiences, and that my friends, was a Reset for me! Ping!!
Thanks for reading Your Weekly Reset and thank you for being exactly who you are!
Namaste’
Char
More Articles by Char
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Latest posts by Char (see all)
- Happy Holidays? - December 20, 2021
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Char-as always you go straight to the point. The moment you look in the mirror and feel pride and confidence instead of shame and loathing is when you know you are on your way to living authentically as whoever you are. It is not necessary to know the end state to be confident of where you are RIGHT NOW. I recently joined a third league pool team and last night I decided to confide about Cyn with the captain (as I had with several other friends in the league). Imagine my surprise when she said “oh I’ve known about you… Read more »
Awe Thank you Cyn , I remember a phrase I read once that says this: If I want to be Free, I gotta be me not the me you think I should be not the me my partner thinks I should be not the me my children think I should be, no, if I want to be truly Free I have to be me… That is for some of us, the greatest challenge we ever have to face… It always blows me away when I expose char to someone for the first time only to have them say, yeah, I… Read more »
Very beautifully said sweetie I wish that I was as brave as you. Thank you
My Dear Racheal, you ARE as brave as I am, the size of Your steps are perfectly designed for your adventure; an affirmation I use to help me feel good instantly is: “I Am exactly where I need to be right now, and when I’m ready, I will set the next goal step." My courage is constantly grown by making one step, no matter how big or small, toward my vision every single day; even if that’s something as simple as reading an article for a little different perspective on something. I wish you all the magic you can imagine… Read more »
Great article. I wish I was brave as you are
Hehe, read above Dianne, You have the courage dear, you may simply be at a step nearer the front of your adventure. For years, when I first moved here I kept the curtains closed and the door locked. I would sit silently in my room when someone knocked at the door until they had gone. I set small goals for myself; first, to unlock the door, then a few weeks/months later, I opened the curtains. Several months after that I had grown enough courage to open the door when they knocked and terrified or not, I “acted" confident long enough… Read more »
For a lot of us Gurls—It’s not Fear of what others think or even shame–It’s about practical matters– Like keeping ones job/home ect–my supportive wife died a few months ago & now with only one income Paying the mortgage ect is difficult–& I would be out of work as fast as you can say crossdressers & pantyhose– if they found out–I can’t afford to be out of work for even a week or two– With two incomes I/We had the luxury of taking that risk–& we did–Plus-with Alice (wife) doing my makeup I was way more passible —I know there… Read more »
Totally understand-each person’s circumstances are unique to their own situation. For those whose circumstances preclude being out and about(and I have been in that boat too in the past), I encourage you to set whatever realistic goal you might have..even if that is something only YOU will see or know about. It’s how YOU feel about yourself that’s most important.
Cyn
thanks for the encouragement–
Truth….For a couple decades the only person who saw Charee was Charley. He would dress her up and look in the mirror and just say nice things. “You’re okay Char, I love you and believe in you; I am learning to take better care of you"
It was a very long time before I would dare risk even telling anyone out of fear, and fear of exposure, for what ever the reason, at times can be immobilizing. First I learned to like me and then I practiced the next step hehe
Namaste’ Dear
Char
Yeah I hear that Janedon, and absolutely “Always" take care of self first! Our basic needs, food, shelter, clothing, some predictability, must always be met, in the best way we can I’m so sorry to hear of Alice’s passing, that’s an experience I wish on no one. I’m grateful to you for being there for her Janedon in what ever way you were able, and for Alice, for supporting you on your adventure as best she could, There are no words that lighten that experience Janedon, heart felt hugs for you dear soul. I am glad you’re here Janedon; thank… Read more »
Oh, and I look forward to a pic or two of beautiful Cyn “on the town" in Vegas? hehehe