When talking to a new friend here at CDH, it occurred to me that we are “growing up female.” While not in the traditional sense, it is instead within an alternate reality. CDH is a microcosm of the real world, and we are living this life there in a metaphorical sense.
Had we grown up female, we would have been nurtured by others. We would have been feminized by parents and by society. We would have been dressed in feminine accouterments until we were old enough to choose our own outfits and style. We would have learned how to socialize with others of the same sex and with that other sex.
We would have learned makeup skills, and our feelings would have become more empathetic. We would have learned to nurture our young. We would have had mermaids, Barbie dolls, and dream houses to stimulate us and to play with, all the while enriching our compassionate side. We would have envisioned ourselves as princesses and brides. It would have been amazing to grow up female; we are doing so now. We are doing it here at CDH.
We are a sisterhood, a support system nurturing one another. We share our feminine experiences, we dress in feminine garb, and we share insights and suggestions of what looks good or what might look better done differently. We talk about clothes, shoes, and yes, makeup. We give each other tips in our virtual slumber party. We care for one another, and those older among us help the younger by sharing our experiences… and our mistakes. In this world, we envision ourselves as a princess or a bride, but additionally, we envision ourselves as women. We are growing up female here at CDH, and it’s wonderful.
We are indeed a microcosm of the real world. You can tell by the diversity of people in chat or on your friends list. Think about whom you talk to the most and who you love to share time and converse with. There are the popular girls, the beauty queens, the average girls (those happy to just to pass.) There are those that want to be sexy, those that want to attract men, and those who are simply trying to figure out who they are. They are trying to find their way.
There will always be some who struggle to pass because of choices they make. Those choices are not because of looks. Women are all different in size shape and appearance. There are different levels of beauty. However, there are some commonalities to learn from. We must strive to blend in, not stand out. We can be attractive without being flamboyant. There are gurls just as there are genetic women, who chose the wrong look, style, or outfit. They stand out for the wrong reasons.
I am constantly checking and seeking out opinions; is this top too young, is this dress too short, or are these colors right for me? We’re all growing up female, and we will all make mistakes, make the wrong choices, but we are fortunate to grow up here because we have each other.
We didn’t have the benefit of years of trial and error. We are making the mistakes now that young women were privileged to make during their youth. We ARE growing up female NOW. We are lucky in one sense; we avoided having to grow up dealing with “mean girls.” They aren’t here, and if they do show, they don’t stay long. Yes, there are some beauty queens and prima Donnas, but it’s just who they are, and even they want to help in their own ways.
I am just me, Annie. I’m not the beauty queen and I’m not a prima donna. I have some good friends here that make my appearance look like that of a boy in a dress. That’s ok. I’m just a girl trying to find my own way. I make mistakes; occasionally, I choose the wrong look. I will never be a “mean girl.” There are no “mean girls” here.
In this world, we are a sisterhood. Embrace the love and support you find here. When my daughter discovered this site, I told her that I should probably delete my account. She told me, “No, don’t do that. This is your support system.” Out of the mouth of babes; she was right, my sisters.