In my previous article, I wrote about “Happy Surprises,” little things that one doesn’t expect as a closeted crossdresser. And for over 60 years, I had a monster secret on my back. It was let loose once before in 1995 and it led to a horrific divorce. For whatever reason, I approached my wife of 20 years a few weeks ago with the idea of me dressing as “Elphaba” the witch of the West from the play “Wicked.” I had never been in costume for Halloween, nor had I ever gone into public dressed as a female character. So, imagine my surprise when she said, “Sure. And we’ll need to get some bright red lipstick for you.” I ordered my costume, wig, hat and stockings and when it all arrived, I put everything on, except the makeup in front of her. She looked at me and said, “I’ve never seen you like this.” I wasn’t sure where this was going or coming from! I just went with the flow. Then on Halloween afternoon, we got ready to hand out the candy to the neighborhood kids. We dressed and she did my makeup. Needless to say, I scared a few of the kids when they realized “The witch is a man!” The night went well, and we shut down about 9 PM that evening.
We went into the master bath and removed our costumes and makeup, taking showers. When she finished hers, I handed her a towel and she dried off. Then she looked me in the eyes and asked, “Do you like wearing women’s clothes?” I was stunned! I have tried desperately to keep my “hobby” secret. I thought about lying for a second then blurted out, “yes.” My mind was blown!
Well, after hours of talking it became very apparent that she not only was comfortable with it, she encouraged me to pursue my feminine side, with her help! Her biggest concern was for me to be happy and enjoy life. She couldn’t understand why I didn’t tell her years ago. Like most of us closeted types, it’s not something we relish revealing about ourselves, especially to our significant others when we have no clue as to the outcome of the reveal.
Since those talks, she has helped me order shoes, clothes, bras and given me some of her panties. We agreed I would be able to dress all the time, wear makeup, whatever, but in the house. This morning, she had me try on her jeans and slacks and a couple of blouses so we could go out to lunch and shopping with me en femme without makeup. Life is good!
The hidden CD Monster is dead, Kathryn has risen from the ashes!
PS: I love my wife even more than I thought possible!
PPS: The title was suggested by a dear friend, @carolyn Carolyn Kay. She’s been wonderful to me!
Girls, how long have you been in the closet and still afraid to come out to wife concerning your cross dressing?
Have you came out of the closet to your wife yet and how did she take it?
Does your wife help you pick out your femme clothes and makeup like my wife does? Tell me about what level of acceptance your wife is at with your cross dressing right now.
Thanks for reading my wonderful success story of my wife’s acceptance of my cross dressing! Have a wonderful holiday season!
Sincerely, Kathryn Lynn
Kathryn,
Wonderful story, and there is nothing to compare with being accepted by those you most love. You are a lucky woman (and so is your wife).
Hugs,
Bettylou
Thanks, Bettylou. Yes, we are lucky!
Hugs, Kathryn
Kathryn,
Wow. What a great story. You are blessed to have a wife who loves you enough to let you live fully. I never had the chance with my lovely wife, she died before it ever came to light that I am a crossdresser. Life is short, we all need to live to the fullest, each moment we have is precious.
Thank you for sharing,
JaiymeLynne
Hi JaiymeLynne,
Thank you for the kind words. I am sorry about the loss of your wife. I agree life is too damned short to live in secret, which is why I said yes to her direct question.
Hugs,
Kathryn
Congrats Kathryn I’m having an enthusiastic and supportive wife. My ex was neither accepting nor even tolerant and it did eventually lead(with some other factors) to a divorce. I do know that never again will I get into a relationship without telling my partner about Cyn.
Cyn
Hi Cyn,
Thanks for the kind words. I hated keeping my secret from her all these years, but I was scared of the potential issues it would raise. Sometimes you gotta say, “WTF" and go for it. Life’s too short!
Hugs,
Kathryn
I too had went through an awful divorce with one of the reasons, (Among others) being my desire to express my female side. When I started dating the woman who is now my wife, I decided to just tell her before things went to far in the relationship. She wasn’t all that thrilled by it……But, she also wasn’t terrified of it either. We have now been married for almost 16 years. I have become her house wife, and she has grown to love the fact that she has a partner who doesn’t want to sit around and watch sports all… Read more »
Hi Beavette,
You were smart and lucky to start your life together in the open. That is my only regret.
Hugs,
Kathryn
Kathryn give your wife a big hug for me, i came out to my wife just over 8 yrs ago and if not for our then 21 son being diagnosed with cancer(he is now 8 yrs cancer free) she would have divorced me on the spot. My wife has since become tolerant and goes to support group events with me, however our physical relationship died the day i came out to her and if she we younger at the time(we were both 57) i am sure she would have went her way. so again give that lady of yours another… Read more »
Good morning Giselle,
Trust me, I’ve been hugging my wife constantly! Thanks for the kind words about my article.
Hugs,
Kathryn
Thank you for sharing that wonderful experience with us! It certainly can bring a couple closer together, with a different kind of shared intimacy. A lot of my story is here on CDH, but to answer some of your questions, my wife has always known about my desire to dress, but I’d only borrow her bra’s a couple of times a year, though I had my own undies, as the size difference was too great for them to fit me. The difference is about a year ago, I really got the urge to dress more often, and more completely, with… Read more »
Hi Amy,
Thanks for the kind words! I’m happy your wife supports you to the extent she does. And yes, it does (and it did) bring us closer. One nice benefit is my wife and I are about the same size so now we share our wardrobes…the downside is the dry cleaning bill is now astronomical! lol We’ve gone to dinner as girlfriends and hope to do a girls’ weekend soon in Tampa across the state from where we live.
Again, thanks
Hugs,
Kathryn!!
Kathryn, Lovely story of love prevailing. I came out to my SO about 4 years ago with the result being that she accepts my need to cross dress but with passive support. She doesn’t want to see me dressed but we do have an understanding that I will be totally enfemme many days that she is working and once a year or so she goes to visit family far away which gives me an entire week to express my fem side. I have a closet full of beautiful women’s clothing and a drawer for my makeup. I go out often… Read more »
Thanks, Bobbi! I’m happy that your wife understands your needs… I was totally unprepared for mine’s response! But she is good with it all and I love that she wants to help and participate in Kathryn’s world. We all need to hug our wives often and love them for being in our lives.
Hugs,
Kathryn
Hi Bobbi,
I commiserate with you also.. My wife knows but gives me the opportunity to express my feminine side when the opportunity presents itself when she is not home. She is coming around where I’ll be able to go out and be with cd friends who I know through CDH…Leonara
Hi Kathryn,
What a lovely story. Your wife must be a wonderful woman. I’ve had that problem my whole life, “fearing the worst" will happen. Good for you for slaying the monster. Enjoy your freedom.
XX
Kim
Hi Kim, thanks for your kind words. Yes, my wife is a blessing and I do not use that word normally. I’ve feared the worst and got the best. May you one day enjoy the freedom I’ve been given!
Hugs,
Kathryn
Hi Kathryn thanks for sharing your story with us x I’m a life long cross-dresser I’ve been dressing up since I was about 8 or 9 years old, I’ve been married for 47 years and I’m still in the closet too my wife and family, like a lot of people I’ve been afraid of the consequences of coming out to my wife and family, sometimes I wish i had the courage just to say this is me and I’m a cross-dresser, i suppose things can only be different if we can look at the big picture and except what we… Read more »
Hi Roz,
I don’t know what came over me to ‘fess up to her Halloween night, other than I figured at my age, there’s not too many more years left for me to be totally who I am. My wife is the best of the best in my opinion, not only because of her support of Kathryn, but for all she has done for me in the 21 years we’ve been together. I wish she could be cloned and given to all my CD sisters to let them experience my joy and happiness!
All the best,
Kathryn
Rozalyne…I too have been married 47 years..and wish my wife would share my CD…although she knows, I can dress when she is not home… She has been the loving wife and caregiver after my debilitating spinal surgery…. I don’t want to complicate our relationship now pressing her accept my feminine alter ego.. Thanks for your post …knowing I am not alone ..
Hugs, Leonara
Kathryn,
What a wonderful story….Thanks for sharing..for me , my wife won’t share my feminine side with me but realizes it’s a part of me and I dress when the opportunity presents itself when she is not home…Leonara
Thank you for your kind words, Leonara. Believe me when I say I understand your situation…spent too many years in that mode.
Hugs,
Kathryn
Kathryn. Your reply is very comforting…thank you,
Hugs….Leonara