High Stepping

Do I have the answers—no. Am I catwalk perfection, the hip waggling vamp of the runway—absolutely not. Can I walk femininely in a pair of 5″ heels—first, define walk. From as early as I can remember I’ve had a fascination with high heels. I love seeing them on others and I love wearing them. Walking in them is another thing. I should say up front, I’ve spent my life trying to raise others up. So, if you read anything you think might be negative or critical always assume that I’m trying to be compassionate and helpful.

My journey as Brina really began after the divorce. I was single and had an opportunity to build a complete wardrobe and to let her discover herself. Prior to that, Brina mostly stood on her excitingly high heels or sat prettily with legs crossed (after forcing one leg over the other.) I watched endless videos and researched how to walk from the experts. Why? I was determined to achieve grace in the highest of heels possible, and 2-3 inches wouldn’t cut it. Plus, I love the look of feminine legs on perilous spikes.

I’m a people watcher. I study their facial expressions, their body language, and their movements. Someone else on this site said that their infatuation with women had more do with wanting to be like them—I concur. Here’s a little of what I’ve learned, tried, and mastered. First, most women aren’t perfection on heels either. Go to a wedding and watch ALL the women walk and you’ll see many who struggle on their heels. Your age, sex, and hours spent wearing heels doesn’t make you naturally better. Now watch the ones who shine and you’ll notice two important things. They have balance and are fluid. Neither are attributes that I possessed in my learning days. Balance—I couldn’t walk down the hallway without shoulder bumping one wall or the other. Fluid— only if stumbles and lurches count and that was without wearing heels.

Learning to be graceful walking with heels starts without the heels. Many men and women have a normal walk that is counter-productive to an ideal gait for walking in heels. Do your toes and foot point outward as you walk? Are you leaning forward and using your arms to propel you forward? If a police officer asked you to walk the line, could you do it sober? After video tapping my high heel strut, I needed to change how I walk, oh, and delete the videos. My answer—power walks with the dog.

After three years of morning power walks and evening strolls, I can’t remember the man-walk I used to have. I also have learned that this newer walk doesn’t draw unwanted attention or comments that I’m girly. No one notices because I’ve only moved to the center of the spectrum of how all people walk. Can I get down and really swing it girl—yes, but at my age, strutting isn’t becoming. Let’s be truthful. Some of us want to stand out as seductively feminine, others want to blend in, and most of us don’t want to be called out. I use my walks to work on my footwork, my leg and body position, and most importantly, my balance and fluidity.

Learning good posture, balance, and grace is like learning to improve your golf game after a pro tells you 5-7 things to concentrate on in your swing. Your mind can only handle so much frustration in changing years of bad habits. It takes months of doing it right to undo doing it wrong. Good habits are learned just as bad ones are. You are going to feel it, muscles will be sore and you’ll have a few choice words for me. You won’t be able to do everything I suggest all at one time. If you try—do it in the dark of night or someone might send in a recording to AFV. The power walk helps to get you into a rhythm and it’s much easier to maintain good posture and footwork. This isn’t the time to worry about the length of your stride. When the heels are on, they will help dictate a shorter gait and allow for a more natural hip wiggle.

You might have to work on one leg, or one foot, and then the other. There is no way to get a hip wiggle if you walk with your toes pointed outward. The essence of the feminine walk comes from using your legs to move you forward and putting one foot in front of the other. You have to retrain your legs and feet. I couldn’t do it with both feet at the same time. It takes time. Point your toes straight ahead, keep them relaxed and try to step closer to center. Keep your head up, shoulders more back and walk with your legs. Your eyes and head are up. Imagine your hips leading the way (this is where you are going to feel it in the muscles. It takes stamina to walk without using your arms). The inside of your elbows should point forward and stay close to your body. This will cause one or both arms to develop that mesmerizing arm swing, which is important for balance, grace, and being fluid. Thumbs and hands opened outward and not closed.  Walking down slight inclines is the best way to put it all together and feel more synchronized. My legs and my rear have reshaped themselves after years of walking this way. I’m lucky, in that I’ve always had nice legs, but it took, and still takes my daily walks to help me with my balance and stability when I don my highest of heels. It also doesn’t hurt to wear a nice pair of pink satin panties to help with the mood as you walk.

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Profile photo of Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish

Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish

Brina is from Iowa, and she is steadily learning how to merge her two halves into one whole. Still closeted after 40 years, she hopes to one-day walk freely and confidently in the open. She spends most of her time working as a self-published novelist under both personas.
Profile photo of Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish

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  1. zena simmons 1 month ago

    Yes I’m getting up in age myself not knowing when or how much longer gonna be round to do as want being my feminine self she’s done said when an if pass away gonna get rid of all my woman’s clothes by giving em away to good will or her friends during mean time I’m gonna keep doing it either becoming real female or till I’m caught and they accept me as I am

  2. zena simmons 1 month ago

    I to am beginning learn my feminine walk while may take me some time get hang of it having try do it without my wife finding out that bougth pair high heels wedges but at sametime got pair of her flat’s in my closet its easier for me walk round in sneakers no one cares got two pairs women’s sneakers but they hardly know bout my other female shoe’s I’m walking in them at night time after she goes bed

  3. Profile photo of debbie
    debbie 2 months ago

    All good tips girls and I have learned to walk in heels to the point that I am really comfortable in them. The posture and swinging the hips is certainly the secret girls

  4. Profile photo of
    Kim Cummings 2 months ago

    High heels and pantyhose together are so important to me. I have a great selection of pumps, 6 inch patent leather high heels. I enjoy the benefits of the sensuous feminine look of the pretty shoes and a expensive pair of pantyhose that flatter my long legs. My high heels make my legs look longer. I love them and I will order more high heels and especially my favorite tights, Wolford’s neon 40’s.

  5. Profile photo of Angela
    Angela 3 months ago

    Hi Brina,
    I love heels, at least 5″!
    Your tips are great and I appreciate any help my sisters give! I will try the incline thing and pay more attention to how I walk in that situation.
    Hugs and kisses, Angela

  6. Profile photo of Veronica
    Veronica 4 months ago

    Thank you for the advice. There are many good tips. I am looking forward to practicing so that I remember them all next time I go out all dressed up.

  7. Profile photo of Linda H.
    Linda H. 4 months ago

    Lots of good advice. Now I must re-read, and read again, then practice. I have a challenge thrown out by my sister and this will help me with some of my trepidations about my first outing.

  8. Jodi 6 months ago

    Thank you, Brina!

    I have also discovered that walking down a slight incline helps with your balance. Keeps your shoulders back and hips forward.
    Can’t wait to try it in heels! I’m a rookie. 58 years old and so much to learn.

  9. Profile photo of Jesse Nicole(Smokey)
    Jesse Nicole(Smokey) 9 months ago

    Great Article Brina! Walking in heels gracefully truly takes practice and patience! Too many of us buy the wrong size and style, and give up trying to walk in them all together. I have also watched women walking, and due to their anatomy differences, they have an unfair advantage! Mastering this art is possible, and I work at it as much as possible!

  10. Profile photo of
    Tiffany Anne 9 months ago

    Great article Brina – the power walking suggestion is a great one. I try to do my walk in my neighborhood at least 4 times a week. It’s great exercise, a great way to see my whole neighborhood, and like you said – a fantastic way to practice my walk and hip sway.

    You’re other suggestions are spot on as well. Remember girls, just like anything – practice, practice, practice. 🙂

  11. Colleen 9 months ago

    Very nice article. Thanks. I would like to add that regular Yoga exercises are a great adjunct to a nice feminine walk. It stretches the right leg muscles, tones the right abdominal muscles, and helps balance as well. For the first time ever I like the way I walk (I am conscious of it for the first time), and it is just as you describe.

  12. Profile photo of Sheila Tampa
    Sheila Tampa 9 months ago

    Hi Brina,

    Thank You for this article. 2 things really helped me to learn to walk in heels easily.

    1) always have the heel hit the ground/floor FIRST. This may sound silly, but for years I was worried about breaking my heels because of my weight in the 200 to 215 pound range. Well, the heels are designed and engineered to handle even more weight than 215. I used to try to have the heel and front of the shoe touch down at the same time. That generally gave me the tottering, wobbling “clueless man in heels” look. The heels can take the normal technique of heel down first!

    2) when in heels (or even flats) when presenting as a woman, imagine there’s a cable attached to the center of the top of your head that is lifting you straight up. Hold your shoulders back a bit. These 2 things should cause the palms of your hands to point directly the sides of your legs, instead of facing forward (which is the way most males walk). The combination of imagining the “cable lift” visualization and moving the shoulders back a bit (not extreme) should help significantly with your balance oh heels.

    Love,

    Sheila.

  13. Janine 9 months ago

    I’m sorry about mispelling your name
    I should have read what I wrote before I submitted my comment

  14. Janine 9 months ago

    I just read your post Brian and I have to admit that when I first started wearing heels the way I was walking in them it looked like I just got off of the farm.
    I used a lot of your suggestions to help me learn how to walk without drawing attention to myself
    I love the way that I look with a pair of black 3 inch heels with ankle straps paired with a pair of suntan thigh high stockings
    Like you I have nice legs so that’s not a problem and the heels only adds to the way that they look
    Thank for the great article it’s very informative

  15. Profile photo of Elaine Marie Rose
    Elaine Marie Rose 9 months ago

    I love heels, however I have a bad knee and a bad ankle. So I tend to like lower heels but I would rather be in higher heels.

  16. Profile photo of Sallysim
    Sallysim 9 months ago

    Brina, thanks for that great article, really interesting and informative, all too often we think we should be able to walk perfectly in heels, but then nobody is perfect. A trip to the horse racing shows that only too perfectly. Women dressed for the occasion with massive heels looking classy but it’s not long into the day you see them struggling to walk, then they take there shoes off and carry them. Many race courses here have seen an opportunity to make money from women who can’t walk in heels and they sell flat shoes and flip flops to those in pain and struggle to walk.
    I’ll have to try the power walking, what a great tip. Meanwhile I’ll carry on wearing my heels as best I can without fear !!!!

  17. Profile photo of skippy1965(Cynthia)
    skippy1965(Cynthia) 9 months ago

    Brina,
    Thanks for a GREAT article. Your tips will definitely help me to develop a more naturally feminine walk! I have been working on practicing the many facets you describe an have gotten fairly comfortable and steady in most 3-4″ heels which is a good height for me. I do have a couple fo 4.5-5″ heels but I don’t NEED that much extra height (Im 5’8″ in barefeet). You are definitely going to help me and many others to be able to blend in while still exuding that feminine presence we all long to project!. KEep up the tips!

    Cyn

  18. Profile photo of Monika Sweet
    Monika Sweet 9 months ago

    Gimme a pair of high heels and I would walk a mile in them.. then gimme flats and I stumble… I don’t recall when felt good wearing a flat fem shoes…!!! I have always been wearing high heels whenever I could. Is it easy to walk in… with the right shoe, yes. I forced myself in buying a flat shoe/sandal twice and was never able to wear them… those were the only two pairs I have among the hundred Heels I have.

    I do observe people a lot and mostly women… I note how they walk, stand and bend/climb wearing heels. Walking on uneven surface is surely challenging with Stilettos but then they just look to sexy to avoid wearing them. I have found my right fit and right style after a lot of trial and error. I prefer heels 5″-6″ with a little platform. Tho, I find it bit uncomfy without platform.

  19. Profile photo of Leonara
    Leonara 9 months ago

    Brina,
    Thank you so much for your pointers on walking in heels… There is nothing like silky feeling stockings with my 3″ strappy heels.
    With your article, I think I will master the art of walking in heels finally
    Thank you again,
    Leonara

  20. Profile photo of Patty Phose
    Patty Phose 9 months ago

    I was 18 the first time I wore heels. It was also the first time I was going to dress fully fem for a Halloween party.

    I had been wearing pantyhose since I was 4. I never recall wearing a dress before but it felt very natural and comfortable. Bra, panties and wig were comfortable too. Make up was a challenge but heels were dreadful. I could barely stand in them let alone walk. I was just not going to wear them until I saw how they made my legs look in a mirror. That’s when I knew regardless of what it took, I was going to wear heels.

    I walked them in the house and walked around in them for several days. Then I went out and walked around in them at night. After less than 2 weeks I found the heels to be very comfortable and walking in them felt very natural.

    Now years later I can’t even imagine being Patty and not wearing heels.

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