Do I have the answers—no. Am I catwalk perfection, the hip waggling vamp of the runway—absolutely not. Can I walk femininely in a pair of 5″ heels—first, define walk. From as early as I can remember I’ve had a fascination with high heels. I love seeing them on others and I love wearing them. Walking in them is another thing. I should say up front, I’ve spent my life trying to raise others up. So, if you read anything you think might be negative or critical always assume that I’m trying to be compassionate and helpful.
My journey as Brina really began after the divorce. I was single and had an opportunity to build a complete wardrobe and to let her discover herself. Prior to that, Brina mostly stood on her excitingly high heels or sat prettily with legs crossed (after forcing one leg over the other.) I watched endless videos and researched how to walk from the experts. Why? I was determined to achieve grace in the highest of heels possible, and 2-3 inches wouldn’t cut it. Plus, I love the look of feminine legs on perilous spikes.
I’m a people watcher. I study their facial expressions, their body language, and their movements. Someone else on this site said that their infatuation with women had more do with wanting to be like them—I concur. Here’s a little of what I’ve learned, tried, and mastered. First, most women aren’t perfection on heels either. Go to a wedding and watch ALL the women walk and you’ll see many who struggle on their heels. Your age, sex, and hours spent wearing heels doesn’t make you naturally better. Now watch the ones who shine and you’ll notice two important things. They have balance and are fluid. Neither are attributes that I possessed in my learning days. Balance—I couldn’t walk down the hallway without shoulder bumping one wall or the other. Fluid— only if stumbles and lurches count and that was without wearing heels.
Learning to be graceful walking with heels starts without the heels. Many men and women have a normal walk that is counter-productive to an ideal gait for walking in heels. Do your toes and foot point outward as you walk? Are you leaning forward and using your arms to propel you forward? If a police officer asked you to walk the line, could you do it sober? After video tapping my high heel strut, I needed to change how I walk, oh, and delete the videos. My answer—power walks with the dog.
After three years of morning power walks and evening strolls, I can’t remember the man-walk I used to have. I also have learned that this newer walk doesn’t draw unwanted attention or comments that I’m girly. No one notices because I’ve only moved to the center of the spectrum of how all people walk. Can I get down and really swing it girl—yes, but at my age, strutting isn’t becoming. Let’s be truthful. Some of us want to stand out as seductively feminine, others want to blend in, and most of us don’t want to be called out. I use my walks to work on my footwork, my leg and body position, and most importantly, my balance and fluidity.
Learning good posture, balance, and grace is like learning to improve your golf game after a pro tells you 5-7 things to concentrate on in your swing. Your mind can only handle so much frustration in changing years of bad habits. It takes months of doing it right to undo doing it wrong. Good habits are learned just as bad ones are. You are going to feel it, muscles will be sore and you’ll have a few choice words for me. You won’t be able to do everything I suggest all at one time. If you try—do it in the dark of night or someone might send in a recording to AFV. The power walk helps to get you into a rhythm and it’s much easier to maintain good posture and footwork. This isn’t the time to worry about the length of your stride. When the heels are on, they will help dictate a shorter gait and allow for a more natural hip wiggle.
You might have to work on one leg, or one foot, and then the other. There is no way to get a hip wiggle if you walk with your toes pointed outward. The essence of the feminine walk comes from using your legs to move you forward and putting one foot in front of the other. You have to retrain your legs and feet. I couldn’t do it with both feet at the same time. It takes time. Point your toes straight ahead, keep them relaxed and try to step closer to center. Keep your head up, shoulders more back and walk with your legs. Your eyes and head are up. Imagine your hips leading the way (this is where you are going to feel it in the muscles. It takes stamina to walk without using your arms). The inside of your elbows should point forward and stay close to your body. This will cause one or both arms to develop that mesmerizing arm swing, which is important for balance, grace, and being fluid. Thumbs and hands opened outward and not closed. Walking down slight inclines is the best way to put it all together and feel more synchronized. My legs and my rear have reshaped themselves after years of walking this way. I’m lucky, in that I’ve always had nice legs, but it took, and still takes my daily walks to help me with my balance and stability when I don my highest of heels. It also doesn’t hurt to wear a nice pair of pink satin panties to help with the mood as you walk.
Great article Brina – the power walking suggestion is a great one. I try to do my walk in my neighborhood at least 4 times a week. It’s great exercise, a great way to see my whole neighborhood, and like you said – a fantastic way to practice my walk and hip sway.
You’re other suggestions are spot on as well. Remember girls, just like anything – practice, practice, practice. 🙂
Great Article Brina! Walking in heels gracefully truly takes practice and patience! Too many of us buy the wrong size and style, and give up trying to walk in them all together. I have also watched women walking, and due to their anatomy differences, they have an unfair advantage! Mastering this art is possible, and I work at it as much as possible!
Thank you, Brina!
I have also discovered that walking down a slight incline helps with your balance. Keeps your shoulders back and hips forward.
Can’t wait to try it in heels! I’m a rookie. 58 years old and so much to learn.
Lots of good advice. Now I must re-read, and read again, then practice. I have a challenge thrown out by my sister and this will help me with some of my trepidations about my first outing.
Thank you for the advice. There are many good tips. I am looking forward to practicing so that I remember them all next time I go out all dressed up.
Hi Brina,
I love heels, at least 5″!
Your tips are great and I appreciate any help my sisters give! I will try the incline thing and pay more attention to how I walk in that situation.
Hugs and kisses, Angela
High heels and pantyhose together are so important to me. I have a great selection of pumps, 6 inch patent leather high heels. I enjoy the benefits of the sensuous feminine look of the pretty shoes and a expensive pair of pantyhose that flatter my long legs. My high heels make my legs look longer. I love them and I will order more high heels and especially my favorite tights, Wolford’s neon 40’s.
All good tips girls and I have learned to walk in heels to the point that I am really comfortable in them. The posture and swinging the hips is certainly the secret girls
I to am beginning learn my feminine walk while may take me some time get hang of it having try do it without my wife finding out that bougth pair high heels wedges but at sametime got pair of her flat’s in my closet its easier for me walk round in sneakers no one cares got two pairs women’s sneakers but they hardly know bout my other female shoe’s I’m walking in them at night time after she goes bed
Yes I’m getting up in age myself not knowing when or how much longer gonna be round to do as want being my feminine self she’s done said when an if pass away gonna get rid of all my woman’s clothes by giving em away to good will or her friends during mean time I’m gonna keep doing it either becoming real female or till I’m caught and they accept me as I am