I’ve had past experiences as a child and then again as a young man with crossdressing, but I marked them as just experimentation or part of kink and roleplay. My admiration for female fashions I saw as just respect for style and craft. It wasn’t until this past summer that something started to stir in me and it had a lot to do with Caitlyn Jenner.
Suddenly there were so many stories about the transgender community and as I read these stories I felt a kinship with the people I read about. Suddenly it seemed, I was obsessed with the idea of once again of trying to crossdress, but I realized that this wasn’t just me being some kinky person- part of me was female. This was a part I had been trying to repress for years, or rationalize away any sign of her. I’ve even had a vivid and powerful dream that I was a woman.
Out of the blue and opportunity came to wear a dress and a sense of freedom, relief and joy I can rarely recall feeling before overcame me. Now a new world is open to me. Its only been a few months and I am in the beginning of trying to balance him and her and I don’t know what the future holds. I’m a little scared, but for the first time in my life I feel like I have a better understanding of who I am.