Ok, The wife is up and in the shower getting ready for work. I have this all planned out. Focus girl, just be patient. She is going down stairs now. All dressed and ready for work. She is sitting on the couch doing her make up. Make her breakfast and putting her lunch together. She makes her way into the bathroom to blow dry her hair. What do I have to do next ? Pour her coffee, check. Feed the dog, check. Ok she is ready. ” Bye Honey, have a great day !!! “. Give her a kiss goodbye. She gets outside and starts the car to leave. Peeking out the window as she pulls away. Ok, let’s watch the local news. Damn, accident in the expressway. She isn’t going to like that. As I take the dog out for his morning walk I text her to let her know of the backup. Bad news honey, the interstate is jammed pack.
Ok it is me time. Up the stairs. Jumping into the shower I grab the razor to shave my legs and chest. No razor burn, lightly. Ok, that’s nice. Done. What to wear ? What to wear ? Oh, the sweater blouse I want is wrinkled. Down the stairs and I put it in the dryer. Back up the stairs. My dog is just sitting on the bed watching me. Ok, time for my face. Electric razor first. Now regular razor. No stuble No stuble. Smooth, nice. Damn, I cut my chin. A little tissue on it to stop the bleeding. Ok, what is next, My nails. What color, pink or red. Maybe blue ? I’ll go with the red. Left hand, done. Don’t spill any. Right hand, thumb, pointer, index, 4th nail ( really I don’t know the name for that one ) , pinky, damn I spilled. Where is the polish remover to clean it up. Down the stairs. Grab it. Up the stairs. It’s already 8AM and I haven’t even started my makeup yet. Clean it up. Flush the evidence. Ok, foundation first. Concealer on and then the heavy Mac concealer to cover those noticeable spots. Great, eyes next. Eye Shadow, which color ? Let’s go with a frosty white. Matches my blouse. Oh, my blouse !!! Back down the stairs to grab it out of the dryer. UP the stairs again. At least I am getting a work out going up and down ! Eye liner next. Oh, I messed up. Where are the make up remover cloths ? Found them. Start over. Nice. Starting to look pretty. Smile. Relax. Deep breath. Lips next, lip liner first, then the new lipstick I just bought. OMG it matches my nails perfectly. Happy girl. Finally powder foundation and blush. Oh, if I say so myself, I look good.
Ok, time to get dressed. I sit in the edge of the bed and start with my black stockings. I love that feeling. Freshly shaved legs with a layer of silk on top. I am feeling sexy. Ok, here comes the hard part. Body cincher. Oh My Good Lord SQUEEZE !!!! Ta Daaa, curves. Grandma panties next. Time for the spankx next. Tug Tug Tug and the cincher is invisible. I strap on my bra and start to stuff it. Crap, the dog is lying on my blouse. Get off puppy. Down the stairs again. I look outside and the neighbor is walking his dog. Ok he will leave for work in a few. Get ready girl. Upstairs and it is time to get dressed. Let’s go with the mom jeans and my white high neck blouse. Oh my gosh is that really me ? I can’t take my eyes off my mirror. Nearly done. Let’s strap on the wig and comb it out. Earrings, bracelets, rings, necklace. It is all coming together. Ahhh, I feel gorgeous. Let’s load the makeup into my purse and grab my shoes. One final inspection. It is nearly 9am and the stores are about to open. What ??? The neighbor is still outside ??? Really ??? Go to work already !!!! I slip on my shoes and take that final look in the mirror. I feel so amazed that within an hour I can transform into this, my ideal. Crimping my hair and adjusting my outfit and accessories. Please be gone. Please leave buddy. Wait, his car is gone. !!! I am free. I grab my phone and wallet, stuff them in my purse, grab my keys, one final look outside to make sure no one is there. I spray on a little perfume and that moment has arrived. I turn the knob on my door, slowly open it, and finally, I am ready for the world. Freedom. Deep breath. I am so happy.