I am Miranda

From seemingly out of nowhere, at age 64, I began constantly thinking about whether or not I was transgender. I started to explore dressing as a woman. The questions built; why is this happening? Is something wrong with me?

After some nervous introspection, it became clear that this had been percolating for a long time. I have never really been satisfied with myself. I don’t like the way I look, I often feel inadequate, and I have never felt manly. I realized that many of the things I didn’t like about myself were stereotypical male behaviors and attitudes. I wanted to be more empathetic with others, more socially adept, and basically, just a better person.

I don’t hate my male body, and I still enjoy several male activities. I started a very active fitness routine ten years ago for health reasons. I’m an avid triathlete. For various reasons, I will continue to pursue this passion as a male. I am married to the most wonderful person I know, and we just celebrated our 40th anniversary. I’m also a proud father of three children.

Unleash Your Inner Woman

After having my crisis of identity, I began to research the what, why, and how about crossdressing and transgender tendencies. After taking a variety of on-line gender identity tests, the results suggested that I might be more female than male. I chose my female name after creating a list of names and saying them out loud while looking in a mirror. When I said Miranda, I saw the most beautiful smile looking back at me.

I joined this community as an initial step in my personal acceptance process, since I had no clue where to begin. I created a profile to share this new side of me with others who are similar in their feelings. I dressed fully for the first time, including doing my own makeup and wearing a wig. I shared pictures of my efforts and used one as my profile picture. When I dressed, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of serenity and of self-worth. It was absolutely wonderful! Being fully dressed was so much more rewarding than under dressing or partial dressing; I want to be that woman!

I have questions on how to build a new wardrobe, what to buy, and the best way to do it economically as possible. Where do I keep it? I need to learn how to master the magic of makeup, including the ways to deal with my aging body. I now plan for opportunities to dress and have to accept when I can’t. Miranda wants to show herself to the world; I want to share this part of me with some girlfriends.

I am both excited and frightened with my exploration. Will I cause heartache to the ones I love most? Will I lose family and friends? Will I finally accept and love myself? Will I come out to my loved ones? Will I transition and how far will that go?

I decided to have a professional makeover and photo shoot as a learning experience. I was petrified to schedule the makeover. When I called and booked my appointment, giving them my credit card information, I spoke Miranda’s name for the first time to another person.

After that, I was comfortable with the idea, even when it dawned on me that I would be transformed and photographed by three strangers. I must admit, the experience was far beyond my wildest dreams. It was pure heaven for me. They had;

Dozens of dresses in my size to accentuate and give me a female look,

Dozens of wigs to bring out my inner woman,

Lots of shoes to experiment in and find what fit me best. I learned which heel styles were comfortable for me to walk in and project the woman I wanted to be.
And most importantly, they had a talented makeup artist who helped bring out my inner-beauty.

Whatever nerves I felt at first went away as the makeup artist truly enjoyed transforming me and putting me at ease. I’d never worn heels before, so they spent some time coaching me on how to walk. When I changed into my first outfit, I saw myself in the mirror and thought, “That girl is pretty.” She looks nothing like me.

The best part of the day was how Miranda chatted girl-talk with the staff and it came so easy and natural. As we browsed through the photos of the shoot, it dawned on me. In reality, Miranda looked every bit like me, because she is me. I included my favorite pose for the picture with this article. This is the woman within me.

I choose to confront this uncertainty about my identity. I don’t know where it will lead, but this is my time to be who I am—I am Miranda.

 

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Miranda Lebel

Just beginning to explore my feminine identity

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Miranda LebelFiona SimpsonKaren SummersChrissie CrossRose Turner Recent comment authors
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Fiona Simpson
Member

I’m New here and your story really resonated with me. I started developing an urge to crossdress about 6months ago and after buying clothes etc. on line, I went out and visited the women’s section in a couple of stores at a mall tonight. Wow, what a buzz, but so scary.
You look amazing! Wish I looked that good.

Karen Summers
Member

Grateful for you sharing. I am following in your footsteps and your story is really inspirational for me.

Chrissie Cross
Member

Thank you for sharing your experience Miranda! You are a beautiful woman indeed! I wish you all the happiness you can find in both of your worlds.
With Love,
Chrissie

Rose Turner
Member

You have a male side? And you look like that? WOW ! Where did you get your transformation done?

Rochelle Rox
Member

I’m new here, but not new to this life whatsoever. Your story has a great many commonalities with my own; you just started a bit later. It seems there’s a prominent correlation with endurance athletes and gender nonconformity… Higher than the percentage of the population at large. One thing is certain… Cycling makes for some fantastic looking crossdressers!

Leslie Ravenous
Member

You were definitely born that way.

Bobbie Frederickson
Member

Hi Miranda,I’m new. For years I’ve been dressing and purging. I just hit my 60,s. I’m not going to fight this anymore. I love trying to be a woman. My kids are grown,my wife passed a little while ago. She knew about me and was somewhat accepting. My parents and kids know about me. But I’ve never shown them. I have always been there for my family. Now I think it’s my turn to be happy with who I really am. Good luck on your journey. Bobbie

Joanna Knight
Member

Miranda,
Always be who are and who you feel you are. I just started dressing 4 years ago and love doing so. I am trying to learn makeup and what works for me and looks good on me!
I hope we can become good friends!

Suzanne Jeffries
Member

Miranda,
I love this article. It is so positive and hopeful and describes the feeling of being dressed perfectly. I often wonder if genetic women have similar feelings when they get dresses to the nines.
Like you when I dress I like to dress fully including everything makeup, hair, manicure, lingerie, a dress, heels, jewelry, perfume, etc… ect…
It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.
Keep up the good work girl!
All the best.
Huggs and kisses,
Suzanne

Lisa Sue
Member

Omigosh Miranda you’re so beautiful! Your article gives me hope that as I age I can still be attractive. At fifty, I’ve begun to be concerned about it. Frankly it doesn’t bother me to age as a man, but I hope for some time to be able to turn myself into an attractive woman. Thank you for this article.

Jessica Rabbit
Member

I loved your article Miranda, I’m 38 and thought that I was too old to be questioning my gender identity (shouldn’t I have had this all worked out by the time I was 20? , was the thought that kept coming back to my mind) it’s articles like yours and others that are turning my thinking that’s its never too late to accept who you are. You have inspired me to look at getting a professional make up shoot done too. I can look handsome in drab mode but never thought I could be pretty. But if I could end… Read more »