I am ” One “.
One of you.
One of ” THEM “.
I live within the containment of this room that I have created. Some call it an escape. Some, a haven. Some, a prison or a cell. I look to the outside world and dream. I lament. I bite my time. I wait for the next moment that I can be free. That one fleeting minute that I can cast off my chains, open the door and exhale. Ah, the sweet freedom of Aphrodite. The chance, at that one exact moment, to love my spiritual self. To touch the feminine fire within my soul and to let that heat energize my spirit. To be lifted up to the clouds and finally be at peace with myself. All, in one moment in time.
I await that next chance because at times I feel like it is the greatest sensation in the world, and it is all mine. Yes, I am selfish about it. I extract the most pleasure from it. The highest of highs. The ultimate in being. I created her. She is my extension. My freedom. My palate to create a masterpiece. My Mona Lisa. My Venus. My true avatar. She is as much of me as I can be. She helps me find my center. She anchors my soul. Within that time of being, nothing else matters. I am not me anymore. I am beauty. I am feminine. I am painted and on display to my world. I am no longer a square peg trying to fit into an oblique hole. I am complete. I am one. I exhale.
And again, I wait. Confinement. Isolation. Longing. It is the role I have accepted and play. It is the path I wander. It is the true me. Without expectations or demands, she exists within the shadows. Awaiting freedom. Paining to be unchained and free.
I am ” One “,
I am Joanna.
I await my rebirth.