You know that feeling when you just want to step out into the world and be your true self? That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. Then, out of the blue, I received an invite to a birthday party. My friend Gill was turning 70, and I really wanted to go, but something always seemed to hold me back from going out as my true self.
The past five years have been turbulent. It all started in 2020, when I was still working as a truck driver. One day, after picking up my delivery notes, I went upstairs to hand them to Lisa and saw that on her monitor, was a picture of a bodycon dress. Without thinking, I said, “That’s nice! Maybe with some silver shoes and a fascinator, that would make a great outfit.”
Lisa was stunned. She told me to close the door and then asked, “Have you ever worn a dress before?”
I admitted that I had.
“So, you’re trans?” she asked.
“I suppose so,” I replied.
That conversation changed everything. Lisa encouraged me to embrace who I was. But how could I tell my wife that I liked wearing women’s clothes?
It took time, but eventually, I built up the courage to tell her. It did not go well. She called me every name under the sun, humiliated me, and accused me of lying to her. From that moment on, my life became uncomfortable. Her friends made me feel unwelcome. She insisted I had betrayed her, she wouldn’t let me dress how I wanted during the day, and she hated it when I spent money on the clothes that made me feel like myself.
But here’s the thing—I love looking fabulous.
So, when I got the invite to Gill’s party, I asked her, “How do you want me to dress?”
She told me all her friends knew about her cross-dressing. That was it—I made my decision. I was going as Stevie Sabrina.
As the day got closer, my nerves grew. My mind filled with doubts, trying to convince me not to go: But I refused to listen.
The day finally arrived. At 5 p.m., I started getting ready. An hour later, I walked downstairs, fully dressed as Stevie Sabrina; my nerves were on edge.
By 6:30, it was time to leave. I caught the 7 p.m. tram into the city, bought my ticket, and braced myself. Then, something unexpected happened. A young person greeted me with a warm “Hi” and asked if I was heading into town.
“Yes, for a birthday party,” I said.
They smiled. “You look really nice.”
We chatted the whole way into the city.
When I arrived at the restaurant, I climbed the stairs and saw Gill looking absolutely fabulous. I met her friends, and we had an amazing night.
All that fear, all that doubt—it was for nothing. Just my imagination playing tricks on me.
Now that I’ve been out as myself, I know I can do it again. In August, I’ll be attending my first CDH/LFF event, and I can’t wait.
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Well done, Stevie – I told you that everything would go well!
LFF will be an amazing experience too, for all of us who will be ‘first timers’ there.
Thanks Diane still looking forward t Leeds.It looks like I will be traveling alone andthetrain does not get to Leeds until late afternoon.
@Stevie Sabrina Don’t worry about that Stevie. We will all meet up in Leeds when we are dressed and wearing our makeup. We will have a great time!
One of the benefits of stepping out. Is the calming of the fears and worries about stepping out!
Wonderful story Stevie! Bravo for your courage and challenge yourself to go and do it!
Fran 🥰
Thanks Fran the discovery in who I am as been tough it was only a wakened by a passing comment in the office, I still feel the urge to be dressed ,but it is getting hard to suppress it.
Hugs
@sabrina66
The Pink Fog has mysterious effects on us! It calls out our innerself. The need to dress is one of its side effects. 🥰
Hi so I am infected by the Pink fog from which there is no cure …,lol
@sabrina66
Just dress up, put on some heels and step into the Pink Fog! 🥰
I am brand new to all this… I never thought this day would come.
Welcome to CDH, Barry! I am glad that you found us. I am brand new to all this… Looking for help and assistance as I endeavor to express my lifelong desires. Looking for support and direction. Take your time reading new threads and older ones that interest you. You build up a wealth of knowledge that way. Participate in discussions and ask clear questions. You will grow and mature this way. It helps us to help you better after your profile is filled in more. Typically, crossdressers choose an en femme name for themselves. If you haven’t thought about one,… Read more »
Harriet’s.
Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and for your encouragement. There is so much in front of me that it is a mountain to climb but I embrace the challenge and the future. I am doing it alone but as you know I am really not alone. I am thrilled that I have the courage to accept what and who I am. I have shred the darkness of the past and am totally open to a new found
Lifetime of new beginnings.
I truly appreciate you.