You know that feeling when you just want to step out into the world and be your true self? That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. Then, out of the blue, I received an invite to a birthday party. My friend Gill was turning 70, and I really wanted to go, but something always seemed to hold me back from going out as my true self.
The past five years have been turbulent. It all started in 2020, when I was still working as a truck driver. One day, after picking up my delivery notes, I went upstairs to hand them to Lisa and saw that on her monitor, was a picture of a bodycon dress. Without thinking, I said, “That’s nice! Maybe with some silver shoes and a fascinator, that would make a great outfit.”
Lisa was stunned. She told me to close the door and then asked, “Have you ever worn a dress before?”
I admitted that I had.
“So, you’re trans?” she asked.
“I suppose so,” I replied.
That conversation changed everything. Lisa encouraged me to embrace who I was. But how could I tell my wife that I liked wearing women’s clothes?
It took time, but eventually, I built up the courage to tell her. It did not go well. She called me every name under the sun, humiliated me, and accused me of lying to her. From that moment on, my life became uncomfortable. Her friends made me feel unwelcome. She insisted I had betrayed her, she wouldn’t let me dress how I wanted during the day, and she hated it when I spent money on the clothes that made me feel like myself.
But here’s the thing—I love looking fabulous.
So, when I got the invite to Gill’s party, I asked her, “How do you want me to dress?”
She told me all her friends knew about her cross-dressing. That was it—I made my decision. I was going as Stevie Sabrina.
As the day got closer, my nerves grew. My mind filled with doubts, trying to convince me not to go: But I refused to listen.
The day finally arrived. At 5 p.m., I started getting ready. An hour later, I walked downstairs, fully dressed as Stevie Sabrina; my nerves were on edge.
By 6:30, it was time to leave. I caught the 7 p.m. tram into the city, bought my ticket, and braced myself. Then, something unexpected happened. A young person greeted me with a warm “Hi” and asked if I was heading into town.
“Yes, for a birthday party,” I said.
They smiled. “You look really nice.”
We chatted the whole way into the city.
When I arrived at the restaurant, I climbed the stairs and saw Gill looking absolutely fabulous. I met her friends, and we had an amazing night.
All that fear, all that doubt—it was for nothing. Just my imagination playing tricks on me.
Now that I’ve been out as myself, I know I can do it again. In August, I’ll be attending my first CDH/LFF event, and I can’t wait.
Tags: becoming your true self
This is fantastic, Stevie 🙂
You are going to have SUCH an amazing time with us in Leeds!
Hugs
Ellie x
I certainly hope so I was talking to one of the girls in our group and she says “you have a great time"
Congratulations, Stevie!
That’s exactly how I felt at October’s LFF last year, there is NOTHING like it!
We are often our own worse enemy.
This is amazing you have made me smile – what a great experience you had and I’m so so pleased – you do look fabulous btw and yayy am so excited I get to meet you in Leeds too!
A comment in an office led to your liberation, who would have odds that. I think another post called that serendipity!
You looked fab and am sure life will be a better for it.
Stevie, what a wonderful story. I am so happy for you. It’s always the hardest part of going out to just make the commitment to do it. You did that when you walked out your door. I’m so impressed that you took the train to your destination already dressed. You have lots of courage and justifiably so. You look fabulous. I know the next outings will be so much easier for you. It is really nice that you have some GG friends to get out with though.
Oh my gosh Stevie, this is so wonderful. I am so thrilled for you honey xx.
Thank you all so so much for all the lovely comments,it as been such a struggle for me but I am happy to finally find a family that excepts me for who I .lots of hugs 🤗
Yay Stevie!
She told me all her friends knew about her cross-dressing. This is the kind of retribution that bothers me to no end. After getting some heads-up about this kind of reaction from other members here first, I had to talk my wife out of doing the same thing. She repeated that she was going to tell our daughter and I caught her subtly taking pictures of me dressed. Fortunately, in the end, she didn’t follow through with anything like that, as far as I can tell. She has settled in with things since and her attitude has improved a lot… Read more »