I feel trapped.

I do not know how to tell my girlfriend that I don’t want to be with her anymore. I so badly do not want to hurt her, but the truth will make her feel very sad. Telling the truth will destroy someone I care about.

We’ll be together 2 years. We live together. I feel I just love her less romantically and more like a friend than a lover.

I do not want to tell her about my dressing femme. I don’t want to share Raquel. Dressing up is my creative outlet of self-expression, and I am selfish about it, maybe. No outside influences.

I’ve enjoyed sexy clothing on & off since puberty, and I’ve purged and come back, but recently I’m all in. Nowadays, I just want to look slim in the new dress I ordered discreetly, or pluck my eyebrows, or grow my hair long.

Maybe my sexual orientation is evolving. Maybe I’ve just been suppressing it for so long. I’ve always been attracted to femininity and turned off by masculine traits in people. I’m flirtatious with female coworkers, but also attracted to pretty CDs I meet online.

I think about it every day; if I lived alone, I could go home after work, and just slip into something silky, and paint my nails and practice my makeup, or strut around smoothly in that new pair of heels. I could cook dinner in a cocktail dress and maybe even get crazy and go out on the deck for a cigarette (after dark of course).

Why am I so scared? I hate being afraid of something and that is what will eventually bring me to confront it. I hate being afraid or ashamed of something that I truly enjoy. I guess it just takes time…

I kind of set a goal for myself to dress up and go out for Halloween. That is half a year from now. I feel that could be credibly liberating.

Part of me wishes that I desired to stay with my girlfriend and just share my femme side with her (go shopping, get manicures). She is such a beautiful, understanding person. But I do not see that other side of me being compatible with her. I feel that if my femme persona must be released but is incompatible with my significant other, and I can only choose one… then I have to choose me.

When I sit awake at night trying to self-analyze, I really wish I were doing it as the girl inside me in leggings or a chemise with painted nails. But for now, I suppress myself and I know that’s a mistake.

Maybe I’m just a terrible person. For Halloween I’ll be ‘Sexy Toxic Waste’. I ordered these neon green fishnets…

  • Would comming out with your cross dressing to your significant other or wife cause a breakup in your relationship?
  • Would your wife or significant other be accepting at some level if you exposed your secret of your thrill of cross dressing to her?
  • Do you find yourself attracted to pretty cross dressers on line when dressed en femme?

Thank you for reading my article and please feel free to write a response to either my article or one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above!

Sincerely, Raquel

 

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    Trisha Lilly Hibbert
    Baroness
    Active Member
    6 months ago

    Hi Raquel, before long I started dressing I split up with my then GF, who was the first woman I have had a proper relationship with. I knew we weren’t right for eachother so we mutually split. Three months later we become friends again. We have now been best friends for 2 years and she was the first person I told about my feminine feeling. If you need to split up do so, I know that you fear hurting her but sooner rather than later is better and if you break on good terms then you can remain friends.

    Alicia C
    Active Member
    6 months ago

    A lot of things to sort out. I’m out to my SO. we go out with me dressed sometimes, she helps me shop sometimes and encourages me to be comfortable in my exploration. There is no catagorical answer to your questions. it totally depends on the other person you are with. It could certainly go badly and she leaves because its out of her range of things. OTH it could totally revitalize your relationship or something in between. THe inbetween is along the lines of “Yes I know but I don’t want to see” as a pretty common middle ground.… Read more »

    Kelli Marlowe
    Active Member
    5 months ago

    It’s a hard call to make, but as pointed out, now is better than later, when there are children and co-owned property involved.I’ve been there, done that, although my divorce had nothing to do with my crossdressing, which at the time was minimal compared to now.
    beyond the crossdressing, there is your admitted attraction to good looking CDS. perhaps that is something to sort out once you are single, before anything else.
    with much empathy xo Kelli

    Kristen Smithly
    Active Member
    5 months ago

    I understand, but you are not responsible for how she will feel, anymore than she is responsible for how you feel. How she will react to you wanting to end the BF/GF relationship is totally on her. They’re her feelings, not yours. Don’t try to own something you don’t have to begin with. There are other people out there, who may or may accept your crossdressing, just be honest with them if a relationship I starting. Also be honest with you current GF. How long you two have been together is irrelevant. The time frame has nothing to do with… Read more »

    Shauna
    5 months ago

    Hi Raquel, I think you should wait for the write timing and come out and tell her. People these days really understand us wanting to crossdress and its becoming very acceptable. If the issue is that you don’t love her as a girlfriend then you should end the relationship

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