Transgender woman get overwhelmed sometimes

Like slowly building pressure in the water pipes of an old unmaintained building I can feel it. It’s not a new feeling, but the intensity and depth is unique. I used to be able to handle things, I faced the world like a lone warrior on the battlefield. A sword in one handle, a shield in another. The surging enemy in front of me would buffet but not break me. Their attacks would sting, my heart would burn and my chest would ache, but I’d raise my head for one more fight. Gallantly drawing strength from my solitude independence.

It’s not like that anymore. I break down. I stumble. Tears flow from my eyes even when they shouldn’t. I need. Someone else to talk with, to share, to open up to. A strong word or inconsiderate gesture can knock me to my knees and send me seeking a place where I can curl up and cry.

I get overwhelmed.

It’s not the transition – though surely this plays it’s part. It’s just how I am. Who I am. After all these years pretending I could do it on my own. Pretending that it didn’t hurt. I can’t. And it does. In that realization is a beautiful freedom. The authentic cry from my soul is not always joyful, but it is sincere.

So with weary limbs and a tired heart I stand astride my hilltop, looking out over the valley of my life and proclaim, ‘I’m finally me. I’m woman.’ Thought the journey has at times left me overwhelmed, the depth of my personal resonance has carved it’s own small yet distinguishable mark on the world.

Even though tears I cannot understand, the music of my being sings in tune.


More Articles by Vanessa Law

View all articles by Vanessa Law
The following two tabs change content below.
I’m passionate about creating a safe space for everyone in the transgender community to find laughter and friendship on their journey. I completed my physical transition in 2011 and through it I lost everything, and gained everything. I am blessed that I was forced to gaze inward and embark on the journey to discover and live my authentic self. My deepest wish is that all who wander here may find peace, happiness and freedom.

Latest posts by Vanessa Law (see all)

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
12 years ago

I know just how you feel on being over whelmed. I just came back from Vegas this past week. It was wonderful to sit and talk to a lesbian girl and realize I was just like her in my thinking. I think it even surprised her. Its so nice to get grounded now and than. It realeased a lot of inner feelings and I felt so much better.I can see why TG girls live together as it can be very helpful in just chatting back and forth. Leslee XXXXXXXX

12 years ago

hi i love to wear dresses bras and panties every day. to be a girl and not a man is the best think in the world there is not a day go by that i m not wearing womans clothing is so nice to dress up

Brandie. S. Gregorie
Brandie. S. Gregorie
7 years ago

I am overwhelmed a lot lately was going to write an article for crossdresser heaven but can’t because I need friend’s and help here in no position to lecture anybody my apologies to Jane.and Vanessa. Need New friend’s here in Columbia sc that belong to crossdresser heaven. Brandie

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?