When I started this writing journey of my feelings and experiences, I didn’t know how others would relate to it. It has gone great and given me confidence to continue writing, in hopes that others might be inspired. This time, I’m going to write about the way I changed my outlook from how I feel inside to how I feel outside.

It started after seeing a therapist, who told me to look up cognitive thinking and connections. It’s all about connecting your heart and mind as one through breathing and positive thinking. To match up what you feel inside to what you want to project outside. To do this you close your eyes, take a deep breath into your mind and exhale out your heart. As you do this, you remove your stress and sadness. After this five-minute exercise, you think about how you feel inside and picture it on your outside.

You focus your thoughts on how it would feel to be that way all the time. You do this for another 10 minutes. Next step is to think of how you can make that happen for yourself. In order to live happily and free, you need to visualize what you want and pursue making it your reality. Happiness is truly not given to you buy someone else, but is found within yourself. When you project sadness, you receive sadness back. Send out confidence and happiness, and that is what you’ll get back.

Try it yourself; how you feel about yourself and what you project to others. Apply the thought process that I was talking about. How do you feel inside and what are you going to project to others afterwards about how you feel. Do you feel your best-self in drab or dressed en fem? It matters being true to how you feel best.

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Mix up your wardrobe with drab and fem wear. You might take all the male jeans out and only wear women’s jeans. You could buy shirts that are designed as unisex. If you wear button up shirts, a woman’s is opposite of men’s. You could wear leggings under some workout shorts when you workout. You can even find ways to wear what you want all the time. Just remember, living life unhappy is not healthy, and life is too short to live it not for you.

You can dress en fem wherever you want and not get messed with it if you act confident and free. Don’t think; I’m wearing women’s… think; I’m wearing my clothing. It’s not girly, it’s not manly, it’s just me, and I love it. Don’t give it a label or say drab or fab. Say, it’s my style, and it’s how I feel good. I love how I feel wearing it. Hate is fed when you let it bother you; exchange in that hate. Don’t let a few naysayers screw up what makes you, you.

Go be happy, be your best-self and live truly. I found that when I care about what others think about what I wear, I get unhappy and depressed. If I don’t care what they think, I find my true happy, outgoing self. I love what I wear, how I look, and the way it fits. Another thing: dress your age when you are out in public; use styles that fit your body type. If you want to go 24/7 en fem, build a wardrobe that gives you positive feelings. When the clothing, and how you feel about the way you look at yourself project good feelings, you will find you will get the same in return.

I will say this, and I hope it helps you. I’m perfect the way I am! I love myself and who I truly am! I feel happy and confident in who I am and what I wear! I don’t care what others think of me as long as I’m happy with myself! I’m my own person, and if I’m not happy I will not find happiness in life. I’m my own person with all I have in life, and I am projecting my true-self to the world. I don’t care if what I have on was made for a woman; I love how it fits me!

Since I started doing these things, I’ve found myself happier and more carefree. Also, my happiness has carried over to my wife. I hope it will help you as well.



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Well i'm 43 years old married and have been going on 19 years. First time i had put on a fem outfit i was 5 years old. First time i was dressed in all fem in public was when i got told i had to wear a girls swimsuit if i was going to swim in the school pool because i had breasts ( at that time i had perky b cup breasts.) I had the female breasts all my life started to grow when i was around 9 - 10 years old and stopped at a nice c/d cup so i learned about womens wear as a way to fit my body and to feel myself. I seen it as a curse and a blessing. So i learned clothing is not labeled or what makes you you but what is inside of you. Clothing don't make a person gay or bi queer or anything like that. It is something that you wear to make yourself feel good and to cover your body so you don't expose yourself. So when i embraced myself as a whole i became more happy and felt like this is me and im not ashamed of my clothing or myself. You dont like it i can think of a few words for you! ( grow the #@$^ up and get over yourself im not hurting you or anyone else). I short i also have 3 wonderful girls they love dress up day and have daddy dressed as a disney princess. Or some other caricature they like to be or be around.
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Trusted Member
4 years ago

Thank you for such a well written article … For me it is very timely for encouragement to admit if I may quote you “I’m perfect the way I am! I love myself and who I truly am! I feel happy and confident in who I am and what I wear!"

Trusted Member
4 years ago
Reply to  bobbi

Thank you for reaching out..

skippy1965 Cynthia
Trusted Member
4 years ago

Well said Bobbi. I am one who is always in at LEAST stealth Cyn mode- all my jeans and slacks are ladies items- just not obviously so; likewise my polos for work-differently cut sleeves and button opposite but only noticeable if you are already thinking along feminine lines. and underneath are my undies and cami and trouser socks. And always earrings , a touch of mascara and my hair usually up in a medium to high ponytail (though outside of work I will leave it hanging down). Do others wonder about me? perhaps but I just don’t truly care about… Read more »

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