I’ve had a desire to crossdress since my latter high school years. I can remember the first time I felt the desire to do so I was sitting in class and I thought to myself: “I’d really like to look like her”. I then started looking at other girls and dreaming I could look like them. This all started in the late seventies. I am a married heterosexual MTF crossdresser, I have no desire to transition to a female physical body, or live female 100% of the time. I have been crossdressing on and off since that event in high school. The desire to crossdress comes in cycles, but recently it has been beckoning me to do so even more.
I have yet to go out in public as I have a long way to go in order to pass. I have just clothing, undergarments, and shoes, but no cosmetics, or wig. When you are closeted in the house you don’t need to pass.
A few years in to my marriage, I was able to disclose to my wife that I liked to crossdress, but she felt uncomfortable seeing me in dressed. I kept it in the bedroom and out of sight from my wife. My mom, my sister, and some of my wife’s friends also know that I crossdress and are OK with it. I have found girls to be more accepting of it. We have no kids.
Recently I was able to ask her to reconsider as I felt the restrictions were affecting me in a detrimental manner. There had been a lot of turmoil leading up to that point, but I think I was able to convince her to let me dress around the house and not be limited to the bedroom. Hopefully, this will make me feel more like myself. I don’t yet know if I will be able to go out in public. It would be a triumph to do so, but I’m large boned, 5’10 and 270 lbs. so a lot of work would be required to get me to the point where I would feel comfortable doing so.
Recently, me and my wife have been working out at the gym, and we’ve both started to lose weight. I’m hoping the weight loss will open a few more doors in the types of outfits I can wear.
Some of my challenges:
I predominately wear female shoe size 12WW. This size is very hard to find in the types of shoes I like (Comfortable strappy mid heel sandals)
I have rosacea (like W.C. Fields) on my nose.
I foolishly had my big toenails removed in my early 20’s as they were constantly becoming ingrown.
I’m currently unemployed (and possibly semi-retired) so I can’t spend extravagantly on female things at the moment.
One good thing:
I have very little chest hair and my beard is spotty.
[Ed: Thank you for introducing yourself Stephanie, and welcome to Crossdresser Heaven! I’m looking forward to more articles about your crossdressing adventures!]